Thread by @CATACLYSMICEVIE

MDZS a/b/o where Wei Wuxian is scorned by the cultivation world for remaining in combat after presenting as an omega, and he assumes that must include Lan Zhan.

(But he's actually mistaking worry, jealousy, and confusion for scorn.)

Because they WERE working their way towards a friendship (WWX thought so, anyway) when he went into his first heat in Gusu. The first rule Lan Zhan ever willfylly broke was when WWX begged him to help him hide it, to keep it a secret. He always assumed Lan Zhan hated him for it.

To be fair, Lan Zhan SEEMED angry every time he had to lie about where Wei Ying was, or when he watched Wei Ying sparring and hunting with alphas, and Wei Ying always figured it was because Lan Zhan thought it was inappropriate for someone of his gender. That he was disgusted.

But he couldn't say anything, because he had made Wei Ying a promise.

The truth came out when they were in the Cave of the Tortoise of Slaughter, and Wei Wuxian (unfortunately) fell into heat after they managed to kill the thing, curled up on the cave floor, whimpering in pain.

Lan Zhan never touched him, never even went so far as to scent him. The alpha kept his distance, played songs on his guqin to ease the discomfort, or help him sleep.

But when their rescuers arrived, it hadn't passed yet. And when Wei Wuxian woke up in Yungmeng, everyone knew.

When Wang Lingjiao came to Lotus Pier soon after, she demands to see Wei Wuxian beaten. Not only for his actions in the cave, but for making fools of the cultivators who fought beside him for lying about what he was.

Jiang Cheng begs his mother not to do it. Not only because his brother did nothing wrong, but also because whipping an omega is seen as a particularly barbaric act.

Yi Ziyuan only looks at him coldly.

"He wanted to be treated like one of you, didn't he? Then, so he shall."

When Wang Lingjiao demands his arm, Yi Ziyuan hesitates, but doesn't snap until she learns WHY the woman is so determined to maim her adoptive son.

Because Wen Chao has every intention of taking Wei Wuxian as a concubine, willingly or not. Disfiguring him eliminates competition.

Lady Jiang never had much love for Wei Wuxian. If anything, she was always cruel to him. But even SHE couldn't seem to stomach that. Even after she beats Wang Langjiao, and the core melting hand arrives, she's given another option:

Wei Wuxian for saving Lotus Pier.

Once again, Yu Ziyuan seems tempted. She always thought the boy, with his strength and intelligence, would become a threat to her son's future as clan leader. Now, with his beauty and desirable genetic traits as a cultivator, he's a threat to Yanli's marriage prospects.

But she is no fool. She knows that man is a liar. And while she is willing to do MANY things for her family, she is not willing to lower the Jiang Clan of Yunmeng to trading one of their own like a common whore.

When she sends them away, she forces Wei Ying to make his promise.

In Yu Ziyuan's experience, alphas only provide an illusion of strength. Pride often leaves them far too easily manipulated, and they don't experience the pain of the world in the way omegas do.

She knows if she asks, Wei Wuxian will do anything to protect his brother.

Anything.

It's Wei Wuxian, the omega, that drags Jiang Cheng back to safety. The one who finds him after he's been captured, rescuing him again. It's only the prospect of revenge that makes his brother willing to endure the shame--

But once his golden core is lost, he can't even do that.

Wen Qing is even more hesitant to transplant the core now, worried about the impact it might have on an alpha to carry an omega's core--but Wei Wuxian is insistent that his core is as strong as any alpha's. Stronger, even.

And he isn't wrong.

She also points out that it might make it more difficult for Wei Wuxian to find a mate someday. After all--omegas who cultivate are often desired for being able to pass the strength of their golden cores onto their children.

Most of the time, Wei Ying's smiles are silly.

This time, it's with a sadness so deep, it makes Wen Qing's stomach sink.

"No one will have me as a mate, Wen Qing," his tone is light. He even laughs a little, but the sound of it hurts. "And I'll never have children. So, it's fine! Really. It's better this way."

Jiang Cheng is an alpha. A clan leader. People are going to need him. To look to him.

No one needs Wei Wuxian. And he made Madam Yu a promise.

Eventually, Wen Qing relents.

And when Wen Chao finds Wei Wuxian, alone, helpless, he wants the same thing that he did before.

(TW// attempted sexual assault)

He tries to physically force him, but the omega--even in this state--kicks, bites, screams. When he tries to use alpha commands on him, Wei Wuxian fights to the point where he's spitting up blood, screaming curses, saying that he'd rather die.

Because that IS what happens to an omega eventually, if they refuse to obey commands long enough. Their hearts give out.

But Wen Chao is impatient, and the depth of the insult--that Wei Wuxain would rather die a slow, PAINFUL death than be taken by him--beings to sink in.

If Wei Wuxian is so eager for death. He can have that. But Wen Chao won't make it EASY for him. No.

Even when they're about to throw him into the burial mounds, he gives Wei Wuxian the choice again: becoming his concubine, or death.

The irony of the situation isn't lost on him.

(cw// mpreg)

After all--Wen Chao only wants him for his golden core. For the strength of the children that Wei Wuxian could potentially give him.

The golden core that Wei Wuxian no longer /has/, but if he admitted it, Jiang Cheng would be forced to live in shame.

Wei Wuxian thinks the only thing he has to lose is a painful future. One spent alone. No mate. No family. Living with the guilt of what Wen Chao's desire for him cost the Jiang Clan.

It's easy then, to say that he'd rather die. But when they throw him down--he's still afraid.

But the worst part comes when he doesn't die.

Wei Wuxian spent so much of his younger days, musing about the possibilities of using resentment. But until then, he never really understood what resentment meant.

The things that resentful spirits will do.

It's worse than dying.

It's worse than what he was escaping.

Something that can't be spoken about. Something that no one would want to hear about, even if he could.

And it goes on, and on, and on.

With no end in sight, Wei Wuxian is forced to do what he's always done;

Endure. And Survive.

When Lan Zhan finds Jiang Cheng and Yanli, there's no explanation for where the cultivator has gone. Jiang Cheng is bitter, saying that he must have fled from the shame of what their mother's refusal cost them.

That's when Lan Zhan learns what the Wens were demanding.

Jiang Cheng wasn't surprised by the Lan's disgust--he's always been a judgmental person. But he /is/ surprised by how enraged Lan Zhan becomes, hearing Jiang Cheng imply that their mother should have taken the offer.

After all, wouldn't it have been better than this?

But NOTHING shocks him quite like Lan Zhan's reaction when they find Wen Chao again--and he admits to what they tried to do to Wei Ying.

The taunt is aimed at Jiang Cheng--and it works, hearing that the alpha attempted to force himself on the clan leader's brother.

That he tried to use commands on Wei Wuxian. Realizing the pain, fear, and humiliation his brother was forced to endure--and then to learn that he was thrown into the burial mounds, left to die.

But Jiang Cheng's fury is small compared to that of Hanguang-jun.

He fights with a rage and reckless abandon that no one has ever seen from him. Even when he's horribly outnumbered, until his guqin is broken and his fingers are bleeding, in small amounts compared to the blood streaming down his sword.

It's rare to ever see Bichen marked with any stain--but now, the silver tip of the blade to the white of it's pommel, it's completely doused in red.

Jiang Cheng would have thought more of it, if not for what came after.

Wei Wuxian already shocked the world once before.

It was considered a profanity for an omega to study combat arts or participate in Night Hunts. In defying that taboo, he was already considered somewhat heretical.

But now, he appears as the founder of Demonic Cultivation, and he shocks the world again.

Revenge is so sweet.

It takes on a whole new meaning now, remembering what they tried to do to him. What he suffered through as a result. Wei Wuxian strips their control away. Watches them beg and scream for mercy. Maybe omegas are expected to be soft, merciful.

Wei Wuxian casts that notion aside.

It's the first time that Lan Zhan asks him to come back to Gusu with him. Wei Wuxian sees it as a pretext for punishment. After all, he's broken so many rules.

Then Jiang Cheng says, as an alpha from another clan, Lan Zhan's request is inappropriate.

It gives them both pause.

Up until then, they were still childhood classmates. Even if Lan Zhan might have been annoyed by him. Even if he resented Wei Wuxian for putting him in the position to lie, the omega always thought of them as friends. Equals.

Now, their relationship is reframed in a new context.

Wei Wuxian never once thinks that Lan Zhan wants him in that way, despite what Jiang Cheng is implying. Hanguang-Jun would only want someone perfectly respectable for a partner.

But he is an alpha. And just like all the others, he probably resents Wei Wuxian's newfound power.

It's tolerated when he's creating the Styrian Tiger Amulet. When he's winning a war for them.

At first, there's an assumption that the omega can be controlled in battle through alpha commands, but when Nie Mingjue tries it, they discover something rather interesting.

It would seem that alpha commands no longer have any effect on Wei Wuxian.

The omega sees it as some small comfort, after what he went through. To the rest of the cultivation world, it's more evidence that the founder of demonic cultivation is cursed. A freak of nature.

It means that even his clan leader, Jiang Cheng, couldn't use commands to control him if it came down to it. If something were to go wrong, and Wei Wuxian lost his mind.

When the war ends, Jin Guangyao proposes an interesting idea: Perhaps if Wei Wuxian was mated, it would work.

Wei Wuxian's life fell apart when his adoptive mother refused to trade him like cattle. They suffered for it. Fought a war to avenge it.

And now, he's sitting at a clan summit, watching alphas argue and haggle over his future.

Like one would with cattle. Or a brood mare.

It's a double edged sword. Wei Wuxian is beautiful, no one disputes that. Likely to bear a strong bloodline. And what alpha WOULDN'T want the boost to their ego that would come from having the founder of demonic cultivation submitted them?

And yet, Wei Wuxian is also feared.

The same alphas that want him are also terrified of taking him into their beds. And it couldn't be just /anyone/ to take Wei Wuxian, it would have to be someone of considerable strength.

Clan Leaders and their immediate family are the only option at that point.

Jiang Cheng might seem like a natural choice--but, regardless of whether or not the two are brothers by blood, they each refuse to even entertain the prospect.

The Jin Clan obviously wants him under their control--but even if they didn't loathe each other, Jin Zixuan still has his heart set on Yanli. (Even if the stubborn fool refuses to say so.)

Jin Zixun "graciously" offers, only to be humiliated when Wei Wuxian barks out a laugh.

The omega leans his chin against his hand, smirking at the alpha from across the table, toying with Chenqing with his fingertips. "That's cute--but I'd chew you up and spit you out before that little dagger of yours got anywhere near me."

They know what he means by 'dagger.'

It's an insult the junior clan member won't forget, but the meeting quickly moves on.

"Wei Wuxian need not be so insulting, but..." Jin Guangyao sighs mournfully. "It would take quite the cultivator to take him on, that much is true."

Lan Xichen is the only clan leader other than Jiang Cheng himself that doesn't make an offer of some sort. Wei Wuxian isn't surprised--after all, the Lan Clan might want to punish him for his misdeeds, but that's very different from poisoning the well of their bloodline.

"...Couldn't Hanguang-Jun do it?" Nie Huaisang shrinks behind his fan when everyone turns to him, stammering; "I-It's just--they're friends already, and--Lan Wangji is probably the strongest cultivator here, after..."

He pauses awkwardly, and the air becomes tense.

'After Wei Wuxian himself.'

The omega smiles bitterly. THAT was what Nie Huaisang was going to say. All of these small, jealous, incompetent men--arguing over his fate. When Wei Wuxian is stronger than ANY of them.

Eventually, Nie Mingjue is settled on as the best option.

(Wei Wuxian was too angry to notice the fact that Lan Wangji never uttered a word of protest, when Nie Huaisong offered him up as an option. He only watched the expression on Wei Wuxian's face, eyes saddening when he saw the omegas anger.)

When they settle down to discuss the details, the man of the hour, the prize they've been snapping over for the length of the evening, rises to his feet--Chenqing clutched tightly in his fingertips.

"And what if I refuse?"

The room falls silent, and Wei Wuxian smirks.

"Look at you, making your plans...but could any of you force me?" His eyes flash red for a moment, knuckles white where he grips his flute--and every cultivator in the room goes still.

"Have you all forgotten what happened the last time someone tried to force me?"

Lan Zhan sits a little straighter, his voice low with warning. "Wei Wuxian--control yourself."

They've been on opposing sides of an argument many times. Lan Zhan can stomach that easily.

What he struggles with now is how disappointed Wei Ying seems to be when he looks at him.

The omega leaves without another word. Lan Zhan tries to stop him, but...it's harder to catch up with his old friend these days. He seems to get further and further away each time.

Time passes, and people whisper horrible things about Wei Wuxian.

Not only about his cultivation method, not only that he's a monster, a blood thirsty warlock, someone to be feared and avoided--

They begin to say that he's loose. He refuses to take an alpha because he already has to many in his bed. He might even have an illegitimate child.

None of those things ever get to Wei Ying. He only ever seems to get offended when this hypothetical 'child' of his is rumored to be fathered (scandalously) by the honorable Hanguang-Jun.

Which happens with a level of frequency that surprises and infuriates him.

After all--their friendship has already become such a far cry from what it once was. Now, these people threaten to make it even more tenuous with unfounded, RIDICULOUS whispers.

"Why do they always say it's /him?!/" He whispers furiously--and Jiang Cheng always rolls his eyes.

In spite of all of that--Wei Wuxian has never been with anyone. Not really. Never in a way that counts.

Not until Phoenix Mountain.

Maybe Wei Wuxian was too cocky, blindfolding himself like that. Jiang Cheng would kill him, if he knew what his carelessness led to, but...

God, it was /good./

Liquid heat all over his skin, a hunger that he hadn't felt in /so/ long, the rough, masculine scent of an alpha tickling under his nose.

For just a moment, he wasn't afraid. Wasn't angry or plotted. In that moment, he only wanted. Craved, even.

But then it was over, and there was only confusion--quickly followed by shame.

And then, there was Lan Zhan's anger. Sudden, forceful, and Wei Ying couldn't understand what he had done to provoke it. Unless Lan Zhan /saw/, and he thought...the rumors about Wei Ying were true.

He doesn't know that Lan Zhan is the one that's ashamed. Angry with himself. Not only for what he did, but...

Because when he kissed Wei Ying, there was no scent from him. None at all.

There's something wrong. And Lan Zhan can't even ask what--because he can't say how he knows.

The answer comes long after, when Wei Wuxian has already defied the world again. Taking the remaining Wens under his protection. An omega, founding his own sect in the shadows of the burial mounds.

A freak of nature. A traitor. Cursed.

Lan Zhan can't stay away for very long.

Wei Ying finds him there, standing in the middle of the market, awkwardly looking around as A-Yuan clings to his robes, sobbing.

Looking like a helpless young father. The sight hurts Wei Ying, just as much as it makes him smile.

"Lan Zhan!"

Wei Ying surprised by the glint of shock and hurt he sees in his old friend's eyes when he jokes about A-Yuan being his own son, quickly reassuring him over lunch that he's kidding.

That seems to set Lan Zhan at ease, but there's tension in Wei Ying's gaze that never eases.

It's later, after Lan Zhan helps him suppress Wen Ning, that Wei Wuxian finally admits it:

"You don't have to worry about that sort of thing, you know." He offers lightly, arms clasped behind his back. Lan Zhan's brow furrows in confusion, and he adds--

"Me having children."

The alpha frowns, clearly bothered--or uncomfortable, Wei Ying can't tell the difference with him at times. "It's still very early for decisions like that."

"..." Wei Ying is smiling, but it isn't happening. His eyes shine with tears, but they don't fall. "Not for me."

His friend opens his mouth to argue, but--

"I don't think I can have them, Lan Zhan."

Suddenly, there aren't any words to say.

Wei Ying doesn't really expect an alpha to want to hear about such things, but Lan Zhan doesn't shy away from listening.

He can't really remember the last time he cried in front of anyone--but here they are, on the road leading away from Yiling, with Wei Wuxian, the mighty, terrifying founder of demonic cultivation, leaning against a tree as he weeps, and Lan Wangji just...

Listening to him.

To how his heats became so painful and irregular after the burial mounds--only to stop completely after he forged the Styrian Tiger Amulet.

"There are..." Wei Ying's voice wobbles as he covers his face, pale and drawn. "SO many things that I hated about being an omega, but..."

A sob rips from him, and the sound of it stabs into Lan Zhan's heart like a knife. "I was excited about that part."

Having children of his own. He was always alone as a child. Love was always brief, and lacking. He just...

Wei Ying wanted to give his own children more.

Wanted to be better for them. Like maybe, if he could give them a better life, it would make him feel a little less mournful of the childhood he could have had.

He imagined their little faces, smiles, and giggles. The way they would grow. What it would be like to hold them.

They were so REAL in his mind. Wei Ying was always certain that he would die young. But if he lived--even if no one would have him as a mate, Wei Ying had always imagined himself with children.

"You warned me," the omega whispers bitterly, and Lan Zhan pauses.

"Wei Ying--"

"It would corrupt my mind and body." Wei Ying's form shrinks a little more, shuddering with pain and regret. "I--I told myself I understood that, but...it feels like I just...like they were right there in front of me, and I...gave them up."

His voice breaks.

Lan Zhan reaches out to squeeze his elbow, a rare moment of physical comfort. Wei Wuxian can't remember a time when the alpha has ever done that for someone else--and now, it's out of pity.

"You didn't choose to be thrown into the burial mounds."

"No, but..." Wei Ying smiles.

It's sharp. Like a wound that's been left to fester. "Do you think we'd be having this conversation if I had gone back to Gusu, the first time you asked me?"

They both know--they probably wouldn't.

Wei Ying's body and spirit were corrupted then, yes--but not beyond repair.

Now, it's too late. Too late for saying I'm sorry. Too late to go home. Too late to have a family.

Too late for Wei Ying.

And it's all so horribly /unfair./

"...I've been thinking about something for a long time," the omega mutters, voice hoarse as he smiles.

"But I'm pretty sure that you'd hate me for saying it."

The only thing Lan Zhan really seems to hate is himself--and always for the things that he doesn't say.

Like, at this moment;

'I could never hate you, Wei Ying. Never you.'

"...I doubt that I would." He answers, stiff.

Wei Ying's smile is nothing short of affectionate, shaking his head with a shallow laugh, and he admits--

"I wish you had taken me that day--when we were stuck in that cave."

Lan Zhan doesn't react. That would require moving, or breathing. He can't seem to do either right now.

He sinks to the ground, wrapping his arms around his knees. He's always been tall and broad for an omega--that's probably why he got away with hiding it for so long. But now, Wei Wuxian looks slight.

Frail, even.

"It's a horrible thing to say, right?" He murmurs, looking away.

"It would have ruined your life. We were way too young. But..." Wei Ying's lips tremble, and his arms tighten around himself. "Then, I wouldn't have..."

He wouldn't have gone back to Yunmeng. The Wens wouldn't have had an excuse for their attack. He wouldn't have ended up...

"...We might even have..."

Tears flood his eyes again, and Wei Wuxian can't bring himself to say it, but--

They might have had children by now. He likes the thought of that, after seeing the way Lan Zhan was with A-Yuan.

Boys. They would have had boys. A few of them. Not that Wei Ying wouldn't love daughters, but it's easier to see Lan Zhan with sons. The loose outlines of children Wei Ying had in his mind before fill in a little more. They have his hair, Lan Zhan's eyes. Lan Xichen's chin.

One or two would have been rambunctious. The other would have been studious--but not in Lan Zhan's cold, stiff way. In a sweet way, eager to please.

And when they become more concrete, they become even easier to mourn. The omega hangs his head, shaking with silent sobs.

Lan Zhan doesn't take it as a confession of love, not really. Wei Ying doesn't realize that's what he's doing. Doesn't understand that the ache he feels when he counts all the ways he can't share certain things with Lan Zhan could be called love.

It all feels like grief, anyway.

But the alpha kneels by his side anyway, finding himself reaching out--slow, cautious, only pressing closer when Wei Ying doesn't stop him--

And he wipes the tears from his friend's cheeks, slowly stroking them away with his thumbs.

"It wouldn't have ruined my life."

It's the only dream that Lan Zhan has ever had. He doesn't know when it formed in his mind. It happened slowly. Everything with Wei Ying always does, but that's alright--he's a taste that Lan Zhan has never minded becoming accustomed to.

But he can't bring himself to say that.

Wei Ying snorts, shaking his head, "I didn't say it because I wanted pity, Lan Zhan. Forget about it."

He always does that. Says and does remarkable things, things that change a person forever, and he expects people to forget.

As if that would ever be possible.

Lan Zhan has asked a hundred times before. In moments of anger, fear, and worry. Wei Wuxian has always reacted with some measure of frustration or annoyance.

Now, Lan Zhan finds himself pleading.

"Come back to Gusu with me."

Wei Wuxian doesn't look frustrated this time.

No--even as he leans into the hands on his cheeks, tears flowing just a little faster, he doesn't look frustrated, annoyed, or anything in between.

He looks like an animal in a trap--one that's resigned itself to the fact that there's no escape.

"That's not an option anymore."

There really was no saving Wei Wuxian from what came next. No matter how far Lan Wangji chased him. No matter how hard he tried. Even when everyone (including the man himself) told him to stop.

Even when it was useless. Even when he found himself under the lashes of a whip.

He still looked for the body--but the moment Wei Wuxian wasn't in the world anymore, Lan Zhan felt it. Like a slight dimming of the sunshine, or an added staleness to the breeze.

True mates are a rare thing. The world thought of Wei Wuxian as a creature too unnatural, too cursed, to be part of something like a fated pair.

But Lan Zhan knew. With every day that passed without him, he became a little more sure of it.

And it was then, as he watched A-Yuan grow--carefully nurturing him into a strong, honorable young man, that he begins to remember Wei Wuxian's little 'what if's.'

If he /had/ taken Wei Ying that day, when the world was so different, and they were still so young.

He sees Wei Ying with his bond mark. His collar. Smiling energetically as he chased him down in the mornings. Sneaking emperor's smile into their bedchamber each night. Walking on his arms, wearing Lan colors instead of red and black.

'We could have had children by now.'

Imagining Wei Ying with children hurts the most--knowing how badly he wanted them, how life almost seemed to trick the him into giving them up, never telling him what the true cost of his choices were.

Wei Ying is the one who died--but Lan Zhan is the one who feels like a ghost.

He mourns the life he could have had. Things that were never said. Memories that were never shared. Children that were never born.

He haunts the halls of Gusu, bringing a coldness that nearly everyone seems to shy away from.

Everyone but his son--their son.

Many omegas are placed before him over the years, but he never takes a mate. Never sires children of his own.

The only child Lan Zhan is interested in having is the one Wei Ying gave him, and with each passing year, Lan Sizhui makes him proud.

He knows Wei Ying would be, too.

'It would have ruined your life.'

Ruined his life.

The only thing Wei Ying could have ever done to ruin his life would have been disappearing from it. Without him, it isn't really living. It's stalling. Treading water with no real motivation to fight the current.

He doesn't take a full breath for thirteen years. Doesn't smile. Doesn't dream.

Not until he's wandering through the trees of Mount Dafan--and he hears a song that he hasn't played since that part of him died. Over a decade, and he would recognize it as easily as his own voice.

A song that only one other person knew.

When Wei Ying finds himself dragged back to the Cloud Recesses for the first time since he was a child--he expects to find himself facing the results of over a decade of absence.

To find that Lan Zhan has a mate. Children. He must by now.

Instead, he finds the evidence of a life lived largely alone. Maybe a workaholic like him just never got around to it. That sounds like Lan Zhan, after all.

And even as they're struggling through the mystery of what happened to Wei Wuxian, and the pain that comes with it...

There are benefits, Wei Wuxian finds, to being someone else.

Mo Xuanyu is still fairly tall for an omega--but slighter. His face is remarkably similar to Wei Ying's from when he was young--but just a little softer.

And when the entire world doesn't think you're the devil himself, well...

Wei Ying can allow himself to enjoy the things he told himself that he didn't want, before. Like walking through a market holding onto the arm of an alpha like Lan Zhan. Indulging in...feeling desirable.

He allows himself to admire jade hair pieces and jewelry he never would have considered before--balking with surprise when Lan Zhan purchases them every time that he catches Wei Ying looking.

Part of him wonders if the trinkets are some sort of bribe to stop him from running.

But Lan Zhan never asks him for anything. He never tries to stop Wei Ying from leaving, investigating the sword spirit. He just...follows. And he helps.

Wei Ying tells himself that it won't last. That he'll cross a boundary. He'll make a mistake. He'll annoy Lan Zhan too much.

He tries to speed up the process out of some sick need for control. He insists on sharing a room. Then, on sharing a bed. When Lan Zhan doesn't seem to cave, he starts leaving clutter. His trinkets and scribbles and scrolls scattered throughout.

Lan Zhan doesn't get angry.

If anything, it seems to make him a little happy, which is...odd.

Wei Ying opts for something slightly more outrageous.

In his old life, he never had the chance to have anything close to what one might call a 'nest.'

He was hiding what he was. Then there the war, and he...

Yanli did help him make one in Lotus Cove, when they settled back in. But Wei Ying rarely stayed there, before he had to...

The point is, he didn't have much experience with them before he went and constructed one in Lan Zhan's bed, but it turned out just fine. Cozy, even.

He was kinda sad when he thought about how Lan Zhan was probably going to force him to take it down. After all, sharing a bed is one thing, Wei Ying essentially making the alpha's bed his OWN territory is another.

And inviting Lan Zhan in? An unmated, respectable alpha like him?

Wei Ying expects a scolding at the least, a punishment at the worst. (Confusingly enough, the idea of Lan Zhan punishing him brings a quiet thrill with it.)

But the only response he receives is the halting of breath, the calm raise of an eyebrow.

"Are you certain, Wei Ying?"

For once in his life, the famed Yiling Patriarch considers chickening out and running away. Laughing it off and saying it was a joke, that he wanted to make Lan Zhan mad, but then the alpha went and took it seriously.

Wei Ying almost says those things, but he doesn't.

Then he finds himself in Lan Zhan's arms, curled against his chest, surrounded by soft, warm, and safe--easy, slow moving feelings that make his head feel heavy and fuzzy.

Surrounded by Lan Zhan's smell--and his own. Wei Ying forgot what it was like to have a scent at all.

He presses himself closer, allows himself to feel comfort that he knows he doesn't deserve, and he waits for Lan Zhan to decide this little game of chicken is coming to an end.

The alpha only ever seems to pull him closer, hug him tighter.

Eventually Wei Ying makes a discovery.

He hasn't seen Lan Zhan drunk since they were teenagers, and now, watching the man, he starts to suspect...

Well, when he chases Wei Ying down, shoving Wen Ning away from him, the action certainly does seem like an alpha posturing.

He catches the older man clumsily scenting him (just a little) when he grabs at Wei Ying's wrists. No one has ever tried that before--and maybe Wei Ying SHOULD be offended, but...he can't seem to make himself mind.

It's cute, even when he's getting tied up with a headband.

After all--it's a much more humiliating experience for Lan zhan in the end than it is for him, but...

There's a moment, when they're tangled together, and Wei Ying is teasing him, watching the flush on the man's face, the heat of his stare, and the craving in him finds a name.

Lan Zhan is handsome.

Wei Ying's fingers are a little limp, tied wrists looped around the back of his neck, and every time he looks into those eyes, it feels like slipping under the surface of a lake.

Lan Zhan smells nice.

The smile on Wei Wuxian's face is a small miracle.

It's happy. Not sad, angry, or forlorn. Maybe a little nervous, but with a giddy sort of anticipation.

Wei Ying wants to kiss him. Wei Ying IS kissing him.

And the moment he is, it's like realizing that need was always there. He was just too distracted and stupid to notice.

Wei Ying spent every single day since he met Lan Zhan wanting to kiss him, and he finds himself sitting on the edge of the bed, watching the alpha after he went and knocked himself out, realizing something else. Something that was always there.

He's in love with Lan Zhan.

It's a complicated feeling. One that he tells himself he might be able to ignore, but...the second time the alpha drinks in front of him (at Wei Ying's own encouragement), his hand ends up around the omega's throat, both of them against the wall.

Not choking him, no, just...

Holding him there. One thumb stroking over THAT spot, the place where, if Lan Zhan bit him, he...

It's like Wei Ying can't breathe. Like wanting him this badly is the punishment he's receiving in his new life for his mistakes, because--

He wants Lan Zhan so badly, but he...

Even in a new lifetime, some things don't change. No matter how badly you want them to. Even when he ends up telling Lan Zhan the truth behind his feelings, it's with the expectation that nothing will ever come of it.

Even when Lan Zhan holds him so tight, his voice trembling.

Whispering the same words Wei Ying said before--

"No one but you, it can't be anyone but you."

But unlike Lan Zhan, Wei Ying doesn't take the man at his word. Even after he risks his life, his position--even defies his own brother in order to defend Wei Ying.

Wei Ying is an old hand at people leaving. He knows he can survive it now, no matter how badly he wants them to stay.

This time, he tries to give Lan Zhan permission to leave. Or, more accurately—he gives the alpha the chance to let him go.

“You…wish to leave?”

Wei Ying’s smile is wide, overly bright. “Sure! You know—it’s nice of you to let me stay, Lan Zhan, but your clan is already—”

“My brother supports us.”

The way he says ‘us’ leaves Wei Ying’s face flushed.

“Even so—”

“Have you changed your mind?”

“About you?” Wei Ying’s smile falters. “No—that isn’t possible.”

“Then I don’t understand.”

For once, Wei Ying is the one that doesn’t know what to say.

“You…want children, Lan Zhan.” That much has always been obvious. “And your brother isn’t likely to have an heir.”

After all—Lan Xichen is a loyal friend, but to be so blind to the actions of Jin Guangyao, there…are few things that cloud a man’s vision so completely.

He isn’t likely to recover from his grief anytime soon. Much less find a mate, or have children of his own.

“Believe it or not,” Wei Ying smiled wryly, “I respect the Lan Clan enough, after everything…”

He doesn’t want to be the reason for the primary bloodline to end.

Lan Zhan’s face is like stone. “I have cousins.”

“That isn’t—”

“I haven’t changed my mind either, Wei Ying.”

‘It has to be you. It can’t be anyone but you.’

Even if Wei Ying isn’t an ideal match, or if he can’t give Lan Zhan the same things that someone else could.

“Lan Zhan—”

“Even if you leave, there won’t be anyone else.”

He says it with such finality, Wei Ying has to believe him

And slowly, with no small amount of coaxing—

Gusu, the place that initially felt like a cage—and later felt like a false promise of safety, hiding a trap within…

It becomes Wei Ying’s home.

The kindness Lan Xichen shows him makes the distance from Jiang Cheng hurt less.

Lan Sizhui knows him now. Remembers who they were to each other.

And slowly at first—then not so slowly at all—he’s learning what it means, to be with Lan Zhan in that way.

To wake up in someone’s arms every day. To be able to kiss his partner whenever and wherever he likes.

Spending his nights pinned down—learning that he likes that—as Lan Zhan maps out his body with his teeth.

And slowly—it’s like this body—one that isn’t even really his own—starts to understand what to do.

Lan Zhan tries commands on him—and to Wei Ying’s shock…

It works.

And then, for the first time in nearly fifteen years—during a night hunt of all times—Wei Ying gets that familiar, almost forgotten sensation. At first, he’s sure he’s imagining it—but when he sees the look on Lan Zhan’s face—he knows.

Sex during heat is different—there’s an electricity to it, a desperation that’s almost frightening at first, then brings this heady sort of high that Wei Ying quickly finds himself getting addicted to.

Lan Zhan doesn’t mean to bond him—it wasn’t discussed previously.

But Wei Ying is begging—no, demanding, really. Arching his throat for him, nails clawing into Lan Zhan’s shoulders with protest each time he tries to pull back. It feels perfect, despite it being a lapse in control, and…

In his entire life, Wei Ying has never been so happy.

Doing the things he spent so many years running away from. Teaching disciples of the Lan Clan. Doing chores with Lan Zhan. Wearing the colors that so often reminded him of mourning—but now, they feel like home.

By Lan standards, he isn’t perfect.

He stays up all night, and sleeps in too late. He swears, drinks (not recently), and runs too fast. Oh, not to mention the gossiping, gambling, and, well…occasional necromancy.

But Wei Ying is starting to understand that in Lan Zhan’s eyes, he’s enough.

He was always enough.

And that while the world can be cruel, and it can take everything away from you—sometimes, it gives you something back. You just have to be ready to reach out and take it.

Eighteen years ago, when Wei Ying became an Uncle—his world fell apart.

Now, it’s coming back together.

Not perfectly. There will always be empty spaces. The hole that Yanli left behind in his heart aches the most—and that never goes away.

But now, there’s another first month celebration—and it’s her child that takes a step to hep fill it.

Jin Ling brings Wei Wuxian’s son a gift.

As the new Jin Clan leader, it’s expected that he would come. After all—the little boy is the next in line to lead the Lan Clan, every major leader comes to pay respects.

(The irony of the situation doesn’t slip Wei Ying’s notice.)

But this moment carries a different weight.

Of course, Jin Ling couldn’t have known, but…

When Lan Zhan opens the box, revealing the clarity bell sitting inside, the omega’s eyes fill with tears.

And when he sees the look in Jin Ling’s eye…

Maybe he did know.

Forgiveness is something that comes in it’s own time.

With one Uncle dead and another going into seclusion—Jin Ling finds himself left alone at the head of his clan, with no one to look to for advice. No one that he trusts, anyway.

He often finds himself turning to Lan Xichen to fill the gap—but Lan Clan ideology, well…

It doesn’t always work, not for him.

Slowly, cautiously…he begins to turn to someone who, in spite of it all, has always been somewhat honest with him.

Wei Wuxian’s advice is often a little too aggressive in nature—but it suits Jin Ling’s style.

And…he enjoys his visits.

Wei Wuxian is patient. He isn’t judgmental. And after years of being raised to hate the man, it isn’t EASY to forget the fear, resentment, and blame. And yet…

He’s easy to talk to. Easy to feel safe around. And when Jin Ling asks—Wei Wuxian tells him stories about his mother.

As he’s getting to know him, the teenager is also getting to know her.

Jin Ling finds himself in Gusu on Summer afternoons, holding his little cousin’s hands, helping him toddle after rabbits. Wei Wuxian stands in the doorway, calling them in for dinner—and Jin Ling replies;

“Coming, Uncle!”

It comes naturally, without thinking—and both men pause, staring at one another from across the field of grass, eyes wide.

(Wei Ying’s son is oblivious, happily squeezing a white rabbit in his arms.)

Jin Ling opens his mouth anxiously, about to take it back—

But then he sees how brightly Wei Wuxian is beaming, waving his arm for the two to come on. “Hurry up then, before it gets cold!”

The world can be cruel—it can take everything away from you in a space of a moment.

But through Jin Ling, Wei Wuxian gets a piece of Yanli back.

With Jiang Cheng—forgiveness comes slower. In part, because of how much more history the two share, how many mistakes that have been made, and…

Jiang Cheng had to learn that Wei Wuxian wasn’t the only one who needed to earn someone’s forgiveness—and admitting that took time.

Wei Wuxian has to spend years working on his relationship with Jin Ling, living in peace with his husband and children in Gusu, before Jiang Cheng is willing to admit that his brother has changed.

Forgiveness isn’t easy—it’s a choice. But eventually, he leans to make it.

But it isn’t until Jiang Cheng notices the way his brother tends to flinch when he speaks, that he realizes the harm that he’s done on his own.

He reminds Wei Wuxian that he’s forgiven him over and over, and each time, his brother acknowledges it. Thanks him for it, each time.

The clan leader often becomes frustrated, snaps at Wei Wuxian for being ridiculous—and he often finds his brother’s mate watching him with a narrowed gaze.

Lan Zhan rarely interferes with them—he respects Wei Ying too much for that. But his disapproval of Jiang Cheng is clear.

It’s an odd reversal of the typical brother-in-law relationship—one that Jiang Cheng expresses his frustration with frequently, asking what his problem is, until Lan Zhan finally replies:

“Is that a genuine question, or is it rhetorical?”

(He often needs clarification.)

When he receives confirmation that it is, in a simple display of bluntness, Lan Zhan shatters a man’s world view.

“Wei Ying reacts that way because you’ve become your mother.”

And as such, Lan Zhan’s feelings on the matter become clear.

It takes time for Jiang Cheng to understand what that means—after all, the woman’s been gone for so long now, his grief seemed to overshadow anything that came before it, but…

Eventually, he does see it. Not only in his relationship with his brother—but his nephew, too.

And while forgiveness was such a long, difficult road for him to walk—Wei Ying seems to forgive him so easily. Happily, as though he never expected an apology. Jiang Cheng catches himself resenting the man for it, forcing that feeling down.

Lan Zhan’s forgiveness is far slower. But his desire to respect Wei Ying’s relationship with his brother makes his wrath much easier to deal with.

Wei Wuxian’s family is smaller than it was before in some ways. Broken and worn down.

But now, he’s a welcome guest in Lotus Cove.

Jiang Cheng shows a doting side to Wei Ying’s sons. Fawning over the boys, congratulating them on not looking TOO much like their father (while Wei Ying scowls fondly in the background.)

It’s not the future Wei Wuxian imagined, before it was stolen away.

But it’s a life worth living.

He has three sons. The elder two are far more like him—rambunctious little trouble makers, constantly dodging disciplinary action from their elders, hiding in Wei Ying’s robes to escape punishment.

They have his hair, wild and dark.

But they have their father’s eyes, shining up at him like tiny little falling stars when they laugh.

And when Wei Wuxian holds them in his arms, the world doesn’t feel ugly, or frightening.

His youngest is quiet, serious. His only ‘shortcoming’ is his fondness of napping.

He often sleeps in with Wei Ying in the mornings, sneaking away to climb into his father’s nest, cuddled up in his arms.

Lan Zhan can never scold him for it, not when he comes to wake his mate for the day and finds such a sight.

He can only watch from the door with a smile.

He has Lan Zhan’s hair, lighter in color, easier to tame back into a ponytail. He’s stern, but with a gentleness about him—always terribly eager to please Wei Wuxian, struggling to learn how to play short tunes on a toy flute as soon as he’s old enough to learn.

But he also has Wei Ying’s eyes—and when he looks up at his father, on the rare occasion that he begs for sweets, or a new toy—Lan Zhan can never say no.

His eldest whines that it’s no fair, that his father is always too hard on him, that the rules are STUPID, but…

Wei Wuxian is actually the first to defend some of the very rules that he constantly breaks—telling their son that someday, he could choose which rules he thought were just. But for now, learning discipline was important.

Lan Zhan has never been more shocked in their marriage.

When he asks him about it later—Wei Ying shrugs it off, explaining that it was the first thing about Lan Zhan that he truly learned to admire.

That if he thought a rule was just, he would follow it—no matter the cost. But that he wasn’t blind to it when the rules were unfair.

“Everyone seemed like such a hypocrite, back then…” Wei Wuxian sighs, twisting Lan Zhan’s hair between his fingers as they lay in bed beside one another. “But you…”

He glances up, meeting Lan Zhan’s gaze.

“You made it easy for me to trust you, even when I was so paranoid.”

Because Wei Wuxian knew—even if Lan Zhan wasn’t always on his side, he would always be fair.

(And, in the end—even if he didn’t always see it—Lan Zhan WAS always on his side.)

The alpha’s hand tightens on the small of his back.

Lan Zhan has many ways of saying ‘I love you.’

Most of them don’t involve words at all—and among them all, Wei Ying’s favorite is when his mate presses a soft line of kisses over the bonding scar on his throat, thumbs rubbing circles into his back until the omega goes completely boneless.

And Wei Wuxian says it back.

Countless times. Whispered. Gasped. Moaned against the dark.

Lan Zhan’s favorite, however, is when his mate is almost asleep, face tucked into his chest, purring with contentment, and he hears a muffled little—

“‘Love you, Lan Zhan…”

Followed by a little yawn, and then sleep.

That night is how they end up with their fourth and final child—a surprise to both of them, but a welcome surprise. A girl. She’s loud, like her two eldest brothers—but sweet mannered, always sharing her toys and sweets.

Despite that, she is QUITE the rule follower.

And her sense of justice is…rather intense. Wei Wuxian can’t decide which one of them she gets that from, but Lan Zhan says it could be both of them.

Wei Wuxian likes to think that he’s right—and Jiang Cheng quickly singles her out a his favorite. After all—he named her.

Little Yanli is just as lovely as her namesake, and often seen chasing Jiang Cheng’s son through the halls of Lotus Cove, tattling to his father for every transgression, making the little boy declare for anyone to hear that he hates her.

(But he doesn’t mean it, everyone knows.)

He whines and cries when Jiang Cheng teaches Yanli how to use Zidian. It’s something that Jiang Cheng might have reacted to with anger when he was younger, if it was Jin Ling.

Now, he offers his son something that Jiang Cheng never received as a child—but now knows he deserved;

Patience.

He kneels down before him, ruffling his hair—explaining that zidian used to be carried by the Lady of the house of Jiang. And that, if his son is lucky, he should give such a weapon to his own wife one day.

(The boy looks at Yanli a little differently after that.)

And he learns one lesson—a hard lesson, one that could have spared Jiang Cheng so much pain. One that could have spared his brother so much suffering. And if they had been saved from that—it wouldn’t have taken them so many years to laugh together again.

Jiang Cheng tells his son that his love for Yanli doesn’t mean that he loves HIM any less. That they each have a place in his heart, but she could never take his.

That no one ever could.

Jin Ling truly takes Wei Ying’s second eldest under his wing—teaching him archery.

Eventually it leads to their son begging Wei Wuxian to let him have a dog—a request that Lan Zhan sternly denies, but his mate eventually caves.

After all—he did come to feel safe around Fairy before the end, and Wei Wuxian has learned…most pain can be outgrown, over time.

Lan Sizhui is nearly twenty years their senior—but he takes his role as a senior disciple—and an older brother—quite seriously.

Particularly when it comes to Wei Ying’s eldest, who tends to shirk responsibility the most. Gently, but firmly dragging him to lessons each day.

He grates under the idea of becoming a clan leader one day, hungers to follow a path more similar to Wei Wuxian’s, constantly questioning the rules, their purpose, but…Over time, he comes around.

He’s the last disciple taught by Lan Qiren before the cultivator retires.

And in some ways, it feels like a sick form of karma that he has to look into a mirror image of Wei Wuxian when he sees the future of the clan he dedicated his life to.

Even so—despite often repudiating their teachings…

Wei Wuxian did become an esteemed cultivator in the clan.

So much so, that when Lan Qiren retires, and Wei Wuxian’s husband ends up stepping into the roll of chief cultivator…

It’s the most errant disciple the Lan Clan ever had that takes Lan Qiren’s place, molding the next generation of minds from each of the major clans.

In spite of the protests—he doesn’t raise a generation of devil worshipping heathens.

But they’re taught to ask questions—to treat their peers with kindness—and the next time a young, forward thinking disciple asks an odd question, he doesn’t have a book thrown in his face.

It takes a long time for Wei Wuxian to realize it—but it’s been years since a single soul mentioned the fact that he was an omega when discussing his accomplishments—that people actually DO call them accomplishments now—not crimes.

His name is no longer cursed in the streets.

Lan Zhan often finds himself busy with work. But it’s rewarding—the kind that he takes pride in. Ironically, more often than not, it’s Wei Wuxian coming to fetch him from Lanling, clinging to his arm, whining—

“Lan Zhan! Come back to Gusu with me!”

Always with a teasing smile.

Lan Zhan smiles much easier than he used to—years with Wei Ying have been good practice. But he never smiles quiet as fondly as he does in those moments, allowing himself to be pulled along, murmuring—

“Let’s go home, then.”

And in all of the years that Wei Wuxian was watching the world change—Lan Zhan was watching him.

Watching as his mate learned to trust again. How to smile with the same openness as he did when he was a boy. To laugh without bitterness.

Watching Wei Ying with their children.

‘I don’t think I can have them, Lan Zhan.’

The mournfulness in his eyes when he said that—it felt like something that could cut straight through Lan Zhan back then, tearing him in two.

But for once, the great Wei Wuxian was wrong.

Now, they have a family all on their own.

Lan Zhan watches as Wei Ying raises their children to be kind, honest, and fair. As he showers them with affection. The way he always makes sure that he knows they’re safe—that they’re loved.

Wei Wuxian gives his children more than what he had.

With Lan Zhan by his side, doing the same thing. And all the while…he’s watching Wei Wuxian heal.

He’s half asleep one afternoon in late summer, leaning against Lan Zhan’s side as his mate plucks a soft tune on the guqin, notes drifting through the air.

It used to be a song that only the two of them knew—but now, their children have been raised to know it as a lullaby.

They’re playing in the field now, laughing and screaming, playing with the puppy that Wei Wuxian finally relented on allowing them to get.

When Wei Ying moves, Lan Zhan assumes it must be the dog barking that disturbed him—but the expression on his husband’s face is peaceful as he leans closer, wrapping an arm around his husband’s middle, face pressing into his side.

“Mmm…Lan Zhan…”

The alpha’s lips twitch.

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

He arches an eyebrow, “What for?”

Wei Ying shrugs, letting out a contented sigh.

“For believing in me.”

It’s quiet for a moment—then, Wei Ying’s husband switches to playing the guqin with one hand, wrapping the other around his mate’s shoulders.

“Thank you, Wei Ying.”

The omega smiles, his eyes closed as he presses closer, cheek smushed against the front of his husband’s robes. “What for?”

For coming back to him.

For loving him.

For changing him.

Lan Zhan leans his chin on top of Wei Ying’s head.

“For trusting me.”

It’s a rare gift. One that has never come to Wei Ying easily.

But just like forgiveness—trust is a choice.

And trusting Lan Zhan was, by far, the best choice that Wei Wuxian has ever made.

//END

P.S. was not expecting a long thread like this to blow up, but thank you all so much for reading, and for all of your comments ❤️ I’ll be posting a much longer (multi chapter) (slightly different, much more NSFW version) of this on my AO3 eventually, so! Keep an eye out!