Thread by @webdevMason

I usually argue a bit with Aella on this stuff, but honestly in a culture with low expected commitment norms she’s right that monogamous defaults basically just lead to serial breakups to trade up or enjoy the perks of novelty

https://twitter.com/aella_girl/status/1455627629449515010

Hesitantly accepting a polyamorous lifestyle so your partner doesn’t “have to” leave you when he or she wants to cheat doesn’t seem like such a big win to me though

And frankly, having a menagerie of partners to meet all current and future “needs” inevitably trades off against the kind of investment that makes two-adult households so useful and inevitably causes instability, since no one can promise those sorts of needs won’t change

FWIW I don’t think polyamory by definition precludes real long-term commitment. But I do think it’s telling that when that commitment exists in a polyamorous context, we call it “polygamy” and reflexively tend to dismiss it as creepy and probably abusive

As a culture our norms reveal that we value the ability to discard partners at will, and insofar as you fall into accepting that in your person life I think there will be real, important and often devastating consequences for your relationships