Thread by @jessnevins

What people don't understand is that Big Bird is a represenation of Veðrfaðir, who sits atop Yggdrasil, the World Tree of Norse Myth, and quarrels endlessly with Níðhǫggr, the dragon who gnaws at Yggdrasil's roots. In this essay I will describe the allegorical meaning of

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Big Bird, whose kindliness sweeps across Sesame Street the way that the winds caused by the flapping of Veðrfaðir's wings sweep across Miðgarðr, and Oscar the Grouch, who as the parallel of Níðhǫggr gnaws at the foundation of Sesame Street with his grouchiness.

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Where it gets really interesting is that Veðrfaðir was an Odin parallel: Odin sent his two ravens, Huginn & Muninn, "Thought" and "Memory," out to observe the world and bring back news. Veðrfaðir had the falcon Veðrfǫlnir ("storm-pale" or "wind-witherer") do the same.
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Big Bird as Veðrfaðir/Odin, Oscar the Grouch of Niðhoggr, a duo caught in eternal enmity--a twosome in a mythology of threesomes (which Norse mythology & culture favored). No wonder Big Bird is emotionally still only six years old and Oscar is so grouchy. They need a third!
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Odin-qua-Odin was part of several threesomes: Odin-Thor-Loki, Odin-Loptr-Frigg, Odin-Thor-Freyja, etc. You can find similar threesomes throughout Norse mythology--and Sesame Street, too. But first we need to explore which Street character represents which god/goddess.

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We'll start with Loki. Not a fire god--not ever a fire god, scholars said that because they mistranslated the source material. No, Loki is "spinner," the god of knots and weaving and webs (and Daddy Long Legs), of plots and intrigue. He's tricksy, he is.

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(Notice: Loki, at least during the Viking centuries, is associated with knots and weaving, things that the Norse saw as women's work. Loki as multiply-gendered was something the Norse took for granted--it's *not* a modern interpretation).
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The thing to remember about Loki is that he's everything and anything, depending on the legend--including a friend of the Aesir, the Norse gods, and of Loki. Originally, in the pre-Viking centuries (5th/6th), Loki was a sky-god, and was one of the ruling trio of gods.

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(The other members of the trio were Odin & Freyja, all three of whom were sacrificed to equally). But at some point during a reinvention of the myths Loki was deposed from the ruling trio and reduced to the outsider of the gods. What does this have to do with Sesame Street?
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This: Sesame Street's Loki is Loki in his friend-of-the-gods incarnation, Loki the trickster, Loki the manipulator (but for good ends). Loki the genial malcontent, but one who can be relied upon to do the necessary thing.

Loki is Mr. Snuffleupagus.

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Cookie Monster is the Street's stand-in for Thor; simply read "beer" for "cookie."
Elmo is of course Balder the Bright, beloved by all, purest & noblest of the Aesir, the center of whose worship was in Sweden (like Frey, but that's another story, mustn't get sidetracked).
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You can hate Elmo all you want, and many of you do, but Elmo is Balder: the best of the Aesir/Sesame Street, hugely popular in Sweden, and bearer of a tragic destiny which only Odin knows. Eventually, Elmo will be canceled, just as Balder's fate is to bring about Ragnarok.
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Who is the Odin, in this interpretation? Odin the Eunuch (one of his kennings, and support for my theory that when Odin hung himself & stabbed himself to gain the Super Ultra Secret Hyper-Advanced Magic, he actually castrated himself). Odin Shifty-Eyed. Odin Frenzy-Maker.

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Who among the Sesame Street cast causes chaos, as Odin did? Who on the Street changes identities as often as Odin does? Who selects people to be toughened up and slaughtered, the way Odin does to mighty warriors, that they may fight for him at Ragnarok?

Grover.

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Grover: Lord of Sesame Street, but rarely there (as Odin is rarely in Asgard), being instead out among humanity, exercising his will, putting worthy mortals (like the bald mustached guy Grover always torments) through their paces, creating chaos (as Odin does).

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Grover Many Faced--Super-Grover, Waiter Grover, Construction Worker Grover, etc etc etc. Just as Odin took on many identities to execute his schemes.

Admittely Grover doesn't wear Odin's trademark hat, and has two eyes, but otherwise the parallels are clear.

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Odin sought to forestall Ragnarok and to build up the Einherjar, the army of the dead, to fight against the forces of evil at the end of days.

What plans does Grover have for the bald-headed businessman? Only Grover knows, and he's not telling.

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Now, I hear some of you saying, "This is all well & good, but where are the stars of Sesame Street, the Tremendous Two, Bert and Ernie?" B&E are actually one of the more interesting of the Street's godly parallels.

Bert is Freyja; Ernie is Frigg.

Allow me to explain.

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In the Norse myths Frigg, Odin's wife, is the oldest goddess--as mentioned, equal to Odin once upon a time, sacrificed to and worshiped, but during the Viking centuries (circa 750-1066 AD) displaced by Freyja and reduced to something of a secondary role.

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Freyja, conversely, is one of the new generation of Norse gods, the Vanir, who may or may not have been nature gods & goddesses and who may or may not have been worshipped by a native people who the Scandinavians warred upon and slaughtered.

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We know there was a pantheon during the Viking centuries called the "Vanir," and we know some of their names. But there's a huge amount we don't know, like so much else about Norse mythology.

One thing we know for sure: don't trust Snorri Sturluson in the slightest.

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Freyja was one of the three most important deities of the Vanir, and was coopted by the Norse worshipers of the Aesir and retconned into the myths as having been sent to the Aesir after the Aesir-Vanir War (don't get me started on the War! We'll be here all day).

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Freyja is unlike the Aesir: she's lusty and unapologetic, she's hot tempered and passionate, she is so powerful a wielder of magic that she is one of Odin's teachers, and she's younger than the Aesir.

She also may be (or may not) an incarnation of Frigg.

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Bert is Freyja; Ernie is Frigg. Bert is younger, Ernie is older. Bert is passionate and full of energy; Ernie is more sedate. Originally Bert & Ernie were equals, but as time passed Bert became primary--the lead--and Ernie became secondary--supporting.

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If you doubt me, watch a bunch of early Sesame Street videos--Bert & Ernie were a true partnership, whereas now he's clearly the lead member of the duo. Freyja supplants Frigg; Bert supplants Ernie.

And the theory that Freyja was an incarnation of Frigg?
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There's a theory that Bert doesn't exist--he's a mental projection (or "under-self") of Ernie, the excitable, childlike, passionate part of Bert that he loathes about himself and cannot accept. Ernie is tormented by the aspects of his personality that he rejects: Bert.

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I don't know how deliberate the parallels between the Street cast & the Aesir were--but keep in mind that the story of the Aesir is ultimately a tragedy. (In the real myths there's no "after" for Ragnarok--everything just ends. Post-Ragnarok stuff was Snorri's invention).

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Sesame Street, likewise, is doomed; eventually it *will* be cancelled, a "Fate of the Gods" equal to Ragnarok.

So enjoy the Street's time in the sun now. As with the Aesir, eventually Surtr & the Midgard Serpent will come to end the Street.

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In this interpretation, Surtr is Network Standards & Practices, and the Midgard Serpent is Oliver J. Dragon, of "Kukla, Fran & Ollie" come back at long last to bring about the apocalypse.

Sorry, that's all for today--gotta dash! Thanks for reading!

Yesterday I left you on a down note. Fitting for the Norse myths, whose motivating spirit was best expressed by the last line of Ragnarr loðbrók’s death song: “Laughing shall I die.”
But there is also joy to be found in the myths--& in Sesame Street. Let’s find it.
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In the myths, the fates of all are determined by the three Norns (“Nornir”). What matters, for the Scandinavians, was how one reacted to their fate. Hence Ragnarr’s joyful snarl of a last line—he laughs as he dies, because he knows that his sons will avenge him, and--
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--inflict on his killer far worse than was inflicted on Ragnarr.

In Sesame Street, the behavior of all is determined by the writers of the show. What matters for the muppets is how they react to their roles, how they perform on the show.

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Act like Barkley (seen here) did in his few appearances and you don’t get a return invitation.

Act like Mr. Johnson, the “harried customer” harassed by Grover, Lord of the Gallows, and you’ve got a steady job for fifty years.

It’s all about embracing your fate.

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So who are the Norns, and who are the writers of Sesame Street?

The Norns are easy.

There are three of them: Urðr (that which happened), Verðandi (that which is happening), and Skuld (that which will happen/that which needs to occur).

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Urðr draws the skein of a person’s life, Verðandi measures it, and Skuld cuts it.

Now, Sesame Street doesn’t have a trio like this, but there are three muppets who do these things: Count von Count, Statler, and Waldorf.

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Statler and Waldorf speak of what has happened and what is happening. Their words are wise and their judgment final.

The Count counts down the days of a being’s life—that’s what his counting is—and when he stops, that being’s life is over.

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“But, Jess,” you’re saying, “Statler & Waldorf aren’t from Sesame Street, they’re from The Muppet Show!”

That’s right—and the Norns aren’t members of the Aesir. Depending on which poem you prefer, the Norns are either giants (jǫtnar) or something else.

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(Saith Fafnir the Dragon: “Of many births/the Norns must be/Nor one in race they were/Some to gods, others/to elves are kin/and Dvalin’s daughters some”)

The Norns are interlopers who ended the golden age of the Aesir and replaced it with a time of judgment and rules.

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So too the Count (a *vampire* muppet? From another show, surely, if not the Muppet Mirror Dimension) and Statler & Waldorf: intruders into the generally positive environment of Sesame Street who bring judgment and rules and a final destiny (Count’s gotta feed) with them.
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Going more or less in order by importance:

There’s Týr, the one-handed god of laws, oaths, and words kept, and of war. An interesting thing about Týr is that has no genealogy with or blood relations among the Aesir. He’s one of them, but not from or by them.

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Týr is an important god to the Aesir and the Scandinavians—he sacrificed his hand so that Fenrir the Wolf, the son of Loki, could be chained—but worshipers of Týr were comparatively few in number. That, and some archaeological data, has led scholars to conclude that--

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--Týr may be the sole survivor of a pantheon of gods worshiped by the people who predated the Viking Era Scandinavians. A holdover who was too important to be eliminated.

His muppet avatar?

Kermit. Who, yes, is not of Sesame Street, but like Týr is an atavism.

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Kermit, after all, was created by Jim Henson when Henson was a freshman in college in 1955, long before the other muppets were created. Kermit is the lone survivor of Henson’s SAM AND FRIENDS tv show—none of the other muppets from the show have appeared since 1961.

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Kermit, like Týr, decides matters when there’s a dispute; Kermit, like Týr, metaphorically puts his hand in the mouth of a monster, only on a regular basis (Miss Piggy is Fenrir in this interpretation); Kermit, like Týr, is a victim of his wife’s infidelity.

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(BTW, bibliography of my sources here: jessnevins.com/blog/?p=984#mo…)

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(What am I talking about? Týr’s unnamed wife bore Loki a son, and Miss Piggy ran around with a wealthy lynx in THE MUPPETS (2011)).

There’s Goðormr the god-dragon, who acts toward the Danes as Odin does toward the Norse & Swedes, and who—

Who’s Goðormr, you say?

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It’s like this: a c. 1220 biography of King Olaf II (Norway) describes how, when King Olar II Christianized Scandinavia, he “destroyed all worshipped beings and all statues of the gods, such as…Goðormr, god of the Danes,” who is put on the same level as Odin.

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King Olaf destroyed the Danish worship of Goðormr so thoroughly that only his name has survived. But since all the other gods listed in that passage (Odin, Thor, Freyr, Skjold) are part of the Aesir, it makes sense that Goðormr is also one of the Aesir.

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Goðormr is to the Danes as Odin is to the Norse, so Goðormr is their law-giver, their father, the one who attends Althings (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Althing) and listens to the complaints of the people and reassures or condemns those complaining, depending.

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Goðormr, in other words, is Guy Smiley, “America’s favorite game show host.” Guy Smiley, like Goðormr, sets the rules, enforces them, and passes judgment on what and who are right or wrong. And like Goðormr, Guy Smiley is always smiling.

Ominously, of course.

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Heimdallr, watchmen of the Aesir, sits in his home in Himinbjǫrg (“heaven’s castle” or “heaven’s mountain”) and watches out for invaders and for the coming of Ragnarok. He knows much that will happen and sees and hears all that occurs.

What does that do to a being?

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We don’t get a sense of Heimdallr’s personality in the myths & poems although we do know that he drinks all day—“the good mead he drinks.” Why does he drink? To cushion the pain & stress of seeing & hearing everything and of knowing the future & of always being on guard.

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There’s no drinking on Sesame Street (except by Oscar, in secret, in the company of Fatima and Ferlinghetti Donizetti). So Heimdallr’s muppet avatar has to endure the anxiety and never-ending stress without the help of booze.

Who’s an emotional wreck on Sesame Street?

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Our boy Telly Monster, that’s who. He’s intense, in earnest, and “worries over everything,” per the Sesame Workshop. What’s he worrying about? Everything—but especially cancellation, the Ragnarok of Sesame Street.

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I’ve mentioned cancellation as the Ragnarok of Sesame Street a couple of times. Cancellation comes to all shows (except the Simpsons, apparently). It’s the natural fate of tv shows and generally happens in due time. Ordinarily, Sesame Street would die of old age.

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But there are malign forces who would bring about the Ragnarok of Sesame Street prematurely—something the Norse myths never address, but which the modern tellers of the Norse myths—comic book writers—often invoke.

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These forces are the enemies of Sesame Street, akin to the jǫtnar (giants) and trolls and demons and undead who attack Asgard on the last day of Ragnarok. These forces have always hated Sesame Street for its kindness, its empathy, its compassion, and its friendliness.

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These forces criticized Sesame Street in the 1970s for not portraying childhood as suburban and all-white. These forces wanted to defund Sesame Street in the 1980s because government funding of a show promoting compassion and kindness didn’t fit Reagan’s ideology.

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These forces were against Sesame Street in the 1990s because the Corporation for Public Broadcasting was, according to Newt Gingrich, a “little sandbox for the rich,” whatever that meant. In the 2000s the hate was because PBS wasn’t conservative enough.

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In the 2010s the hate was because Oscar the Grouch mocked “Pox News—Now there’s a trashy news show!”, because (per Ben Shapiro) Sesame Street indoctrinated children in leftist ideologies and promoted a gay lifestyle (i.e., Neil Patrick Harris appeared on the show).

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Now the hate is because of the Street, and Big Bird, being pro-vaccination. The Aesir had Surtur and the giants and trolls and undead; Sesame Street has Ted Cruz & Tucker Carlson & the zombie MAGAts.

Don’t let Sesame Street’s enemies win.

(more next Thursday!)

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How stupid of me--Ratatoskr is the third in their trio! Sheesh, staring me right in the face.

I left off last time as I was discussing the major gods of the Æsir. The final major god of the Norse pantheon is Ullr, the god of the hunt. He’s at once the least important of the Æsir & the most important.

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Least important, because he’s not of Odin’s blood—he’s the son of Sif (Thor’s wife) and an unknown god. He’s the god of archery—a skill that the Norse saw as fit only for hunting rather than for combat, which manly men only did face-to-face.

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He’s vainglorious, but not in a way that your average Norseman approved of. He is the god of the hunt and of the duel, things that the Norse saw as important—and yet his worshippers were few, despite his name being often used in place names in Sweden & Norway.

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And yet, and yet. The myths say that he was once ruler of the Æsir, in the days when Odin was banned from Asgard for sexual assault. The archaeological evidence says that he was, a long time ago, a very important god in Sweden, though later superseded by Baldr.

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Who plays this role among the Muppets? Who is boastful and vain, not really liked, but formerly quite important to them? Who would be the Muppets’ “Glory-Father,” “the Glorious,” “the Handsome One?” Who would kiss his own biceps?
Link Hogthrob would. End of discussion.
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So that’s the major gods and goddesses in the pantheon. Not, however, the end of the muppets—nor, really, to the important (different from major) gods & goddesses in the mythology.

Let’s shift over to the Vanir.

Most people know them from the “Æsir-Vanir War.”.

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The War, described first in the Vǫluspá and then at greater length in the Heimskringla, is a war between two pantheons: the Æsir (“æs” meaning “god”) and the Vanir (there’s no agreed-upon definition of “Vanir;” my choice is “vani” meaning “custom, obligation.”).

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Traditionally scholars have defined this as a war between the Æsir (gods of iron and war) and the Vanir (nature gods). But, of course, it’s more complicated than that. In fact, the Æsir and the Vanir are binary opposites in many respects.

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Æsir *are* iron and war. Vanir *are* peaceful nature deities. But! Vanir = goddesses. Æsir = gods.

Æsir = result of law-ruled reproduction.[1] Vanir = wild & unchecked fertility.

[1] the exceptions to this among the Æsir are part of what make them so interesting.

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Æsir: death is final. Vanir: death is a revolving door.
Æsir: only Odin & Frig can do magic. Vanir: everyone engage in incest and make dishonorable magic that way! (Wheee!)
Æsir: grim & serious. Vanir: almost faerie-like in their humor.
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Æsir: badass warriors who train incessantly. Vanir: lazy peace-loving nature gods.
So how did the war go? Well…on the one hand, the Æsir captured Freyja and burnt her for being a witch. Three times.
It never took, and she kept returning from the dead.
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On the other hand, the Vanir breached the walls of Asgard and trampled the Æsir battle standards into the dust. (Æsir = man’s war. Vanir = nature’s war). The Vanir lived in natural abodes, so there was nothing for the Æsir to sack.
So the War ended in a stalemate.
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(Was the War a reflection of a real-life conflict between the Germanic invaders and whoever lived in Scandinavia before them? Between Germanic tribes who worshipped male deities and those who worshipped female deities? Nobody knows for sure).

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(Was the War a reflection of regional biases? The Norse, who in the Viking Age tended to be uptight about sex, versus the Swedes, who the Vanir were popular among and who were widely known to be willing to sex up *everyone*. The Swedish Baldr was a giant slut).

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(The Temple at Uppsala en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_at… was infamous during the Viking Age for being the locus of depravity in all of Scandinavia. The Norse & Danes thought the Swedes were pushover roundheels. True? Who knows?)
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The names of four Vanir have survived to the present: Njǫrðr, Njärð, Freyja, and Freyr.

Njǫrðr was the foremost god of the Vanir, lover of his sister Njärð, and father to the twins Freyja and Freyr. After the Æsir-Vanir War, Njǫrðr married the giant Skaði.

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Skaði was the daughter of the giant Þjazi, who was killed by the Æsir for kidnapping the goddess Iðunn, keeper of the apples of youth, & threatening to “marry” (read: rape) her. Skaði put on her war kit & marched on Asgard for vengeance. The gods offered to pay weregild.
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The gods’ offer: Skaði could choose as a husband any of the gods. She chose Njǫrðr; he was the best of the gods present, in her view. (Odin’s a rapist; Skaði already sacked up with Loki once and that was enough for her; Thor is Thor; Baldr is absent; the rest are trash).
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But Skaði loves the mountains, and Njǫrðr is a sea god, so their marriage only lasts for twelve nights. They part. Then Njǫrðr hooks up with his sister and she gives birth to Freyr & Freyja.
So who’s Njǫrðr? Who’s a good guy who gets into romantic misadventures?
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Gonzo. Liked and respected by all, but of another race (alien, Vanir) than the other muppets/Æsir. His “trademark performance art” is merely his different nature; he likes performance art (nature), the muppets prefer stand-up/variety acts (the Æsir’s fire & iron)
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That would make Rizzo the Rat Njǫrðr’s sister Njärð. Freyja I already covered: Bert. That leaves only Freyr.
Now, Freyr is interesting. He was once “the summer king,” the “peace king,” the god of cosmic harmony and the summer opposite to Odin’ “winter king.”
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In Sweden he was more than that: there, he was worshiped as the sacred & sole king of the Vanir, “god of the World,” the deity of war as well as of rulership & fruitfulness, of cosmic harmony, peace, & bountifulness--*the* god rather than just 1 god of the Vanir pantheon.
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After the Æsir-Vanir War, however, Freyr & Freyja were exchanged as hostages to the Æsir, with the Vanir getting Hǫðr & Mimir in exchange. (Funny story: Hǫðr’s blind, and when the Vanir saw that they gave up their two best & brightest gods for a sight-impaired god, they
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chopped off Mimir’s head & sent it back to the Æsir). Freyr’s portfolio diminished, & he became merely one of Asgard’s best warriors. (He’s got a dancing sword). He’s now a male fertility god, a god of good fortune, & a weather god. He’s well-liked by peasants & farmers.
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Who’s Freyr? Why, Fozzie Bear, of course: a bear of hidden depths, a bear whose standup comedy appeals to the dads (i.e., peasants & farmers) in his audience, a bear who is ridiculed by the hardcore Æsir & the Norns (i.e., Statler & Waldorf) but who does his best anyhow.
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Also, Freyr was a god of getting *absolutely* freaky, and canonically we know that Fozzie Bear was Playa #1, the muppet equivalent of Prince & Rick James.

Speaking of bears, there’s Bobo the Bear to deal with. Fortunately, there’s someone he matches.
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Suffice it to say that the Scandinavians in general, the Norse in particular, and the Viking warriors specifically were members of a bear cult. (They were pantheists, and that included worshiping nature & animal gods). The name of the bear-god they worshiped isn’t known.
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We could call the bear “Bjǫrn” (ON “bear”) but let’s be accurate & call him “Bobo.”
Bobo was worshipped as an animal deity of strength and ferocity, traits the Norse idealized. Certain warriors wore bear heads and bearskins into battle and took on bear traits in battle
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These were probably not the berserkers, however. “Berserk” means either “bare skin” or “bear skin,” and scholars have gone back and forth over the centuries about which meaning is accurate. Through the 1960s the scholarly consensus was “bear skin;” now it’s “bare skin.”
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Was Bobo as important to the muppets as the bear god was to the Scandinavians? I would say so, but in a subtle way. He certainly draws the viewers’ eyes to him, and he gets a fair number of lines and important roles.
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He never grabs the spotlight or chews the scenery, unlike most of the other muppets, but he’s always there, always reliable, always professional. No wonder the other muppets want to be like him!
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I’m out of time for today—past my thirty-tweet limit—so I’ll wrap up here. Believe it or not, I have more muppets & gods to get to—and I haven’t even touched on the complicated role of female muppets & goddesses among the Æsir—so I’ll explore them a bit next time. Later!
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Welcome back to the thread. Today, let’s talk about Norse goddesses & female muppets.
Actually, though, there are some things we need to talk about first. Some Real Talk about the muppets and some speculation about the Æsir goddesses, about whom we still know so little.
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(it's #folklorethursday -- when better than to add to this thread?)

Let’s start with the muppets.
The sad truth is that, much though we love Sesame Street & the Muppet Show, for the longest time neither was good about showcasing female muppets/performers. All the big stars were coded as male, and all the big stars were performed by men.
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There had been a number of prodigiously talented women working on supporting muppets, but they never got the chance to do a breakout star. And there had been a large number of female muppets, but they were never stars nor positioned to be such.
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Those female muppets who had potential to be stars never got the internal support necessary to make them stars: Miss Piggy, Janice, Grundgetta (Oscar’s girlfriend, seen below), Prairie Dawn, Gladys, etc.
I’ll just say it: our beloved shows were sexist workplaces.
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The sea change at Children’s Television Workshop, later CTW—the production company of Sesame Street from 1968-2000—took place in 1993, with the introduction of Zoe, the first female muppet star.

Her creation and roll-out were…troubled.

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She was deliberately created to appeal to the young female audience—the product of marketing and research, not the producers and writers. Sesame Street needed a female star, but…well….the (male, of course) producers and writers were hostile to the idea.
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Zoe was essentially created by Dr. Valeria Lovelace, the Black woman in charge of Sesame Street’s Research department. Lovelace was an activist who wanted Research be on the same level as the Production department—previously writers & producers scorned Research.
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Lovelace, before and during Zoe’s creation process, faced ridicule and derision which I’m sorry to say was sometimes racist in nature. She pushed Zoe through anyhow, with the help of CTW’s president, who saw the writers/producers as having calcified views & attitudes.
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Zoe was eventually a success, and led to other female muppets appearing on Sesame Street, but the racism & sexism that made her creation process so difficult don’t seem to have disappeared all that much, unfortunately.
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As for the Æsir goddesses—well, here they are: Sif, goddess of the Earth; Sága, goddess of poetry & seeresses; Eir, goddess of healing; Gefjon, goddess of plowing & virgins; Fulla, goddess of fertility & Freyja’s confidante; Sjofn, goddess of love & passion,
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Lofn, goddess of pure love, goodness, & kindness; Vár, goddess of oaths & punisher of oath-breakers; Syn, goddess of doorkeepers & defender of homes; Hlín, Frigg’s enforcer; Snorta, goddess of wisdom & manners; Gná, Frigg’s courier; Vǫr, goddess of awareness.
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Quick, now—how many of them did you recognize? Sif, at least, has been a supporting character in the Thor comics. The others, though? You recognize how much storytelling potential each of them has—at least as much as the male Æsir. But few are the myths that mention them.
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So why are they forgotten now by all but specialists? Sexism, of course. The Scandinavian worshipers of the Æsir were male-oriented societies. Traditionally scholars of the Æsir have been male sexists. They didn’t conceive of goddesses as being myth-worthy.
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While the preceding is true to a degree, there’s more going on here, I think, than just sexism.
Let’s go through the goddesses, one by one. Sif, the goddess of Earth, and Thor’s wife. Can you think of a myth system in which the god/dess of Earth isn’t vitally important?
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Instead, the Norse myths we have essentially present Sif as a wife, mother, and philanderer (w/Loki).
Sága, goddess of poetry and seeresses and those who prophesy. Given how important prophecy magic was to the Scandinavians, Sága’s closest analogue should be Hecate.
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The poems point out that Sága drinks with none other than Odin, and that she is the #2 goddess after Frigg. She’s important. So where are her myths?
The name Eir is associated with one of the Valkyrie—who had healing magic--and there’s doubt she was a goddess.
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Gefjon knows the destinies of all men—Loki is told he’s mad to mock her for that very reason.
And so on—the goddesses don’t get nearly the space that the gods do in the poems, but what they get is mouth-watering in terms of mythic potential.
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So why so few myths about them? Why are they treated shabbily in the myths if the poems make it clear that the goddesses are powerful and respected?
I think the problem here is Snorri Sturluson (

https://twitter.com/jessnevins/status/1361345349730852870

)
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I’ve written about Snorri being a plague and a blight on the myths of the Æsir—how he Christianized them, queerwashed them, picked and chose which myths to modify & keep and which to reject. He was a one-man Council of Rome for the Norse myths.
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I think that Snorri was deeply uncomfortable with the poems and old myths which presented goddesses—women, more broadly—with power and agency. I think he diminished the goddesses in the myths he wrote and twisted the poems to fit his lubricious editing.
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I think the sexism of the myths springs from Snorri. From what we know of the Norse, they treated women mostly with respect, especially if the women acted like men. (See Jóhanna Katrín Friðriksdóttir’s VALKYRIE amazon.com/Valkyrie-Vikin…? for more on this).
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A lot of the original Norse poems are lost to us; I think a number of them presented the goddesses in a positive light which Snorri took pains to undo by ignoring those poems.
Snorri’s a sexist prick, basically, and the poor mythic state of the goddesses is his fault.
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(@Marvel, call me—I have a great miniseries idea involving the Æsir goddesses!)
So that’s why I can’t do a one-to-one between all of the muppets & the goddesses—too few muppets, too many goddesses who there’s too little known about.
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Briefly, though: Janice (herself modeled on Mary Travers of Peter, Paul & Mary), is Sága, goddess of poetry; Countess Dahling von Dahling is Vár, goddess of oaths and agreements and punisher of oath-breakers and those who violate agreements; Gladys the Cow is Gefjon,
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goddess of plowing, virgins, oxen, & foreknowing (Gladys is secretly one of the tzaddikim of the muppet world, as Gefjon secretly vital to the Æsir). As for the rest of the female muppets, well, frankly, they’re children, and don’t fit with the Æsir goddesses. Sorry….
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That’s it for today. Next time we’ll start taking a look at some of the foremost Norse myths and and how they map on to what we know about the muppets. Same with the major adventures of the muppets.
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Coming here sometime soon: the Snuffleupagusenna. The only way to do justice to the poem.
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It's #folklorethursday; guess what that means?
If you guessed "another damn thread about muppets & the Norse gods," you're right!
This is going to be a very long one, so you might want to mute me if long threads bother you. Just don't forget to turn off the mute later!
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Today I’m doing something a little different from previous threads. I wanted to do a version of one of the most famous of the Æsir/muppets’ myths, but, like everything I write, it grew like topsy. So make yourselves comfortable. This will be a long one.
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To recap: Odin=Grover; Thor=Cookie Monster; Loki=Mr. Snuffleupagus; Baldr=Elmo; Frigg=Bert; Freyja=Ernie; Tyr=Kermit; Heimdallr=Telly Monster; Njǫrðr=Gonzo; Freyr=Fozzie Bear; Gefjon=Gladys the Cow; Sif=Denise; Bragi=Dr. Teeth; Idunn=Dr. Bunsen Honeydew; Rowlf=Skaði.
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I’ll be doing a mock Norse flyting, which is an exchange of insults between two people or groups, usually in verse form. I’ll be writing a version of the most famous flyting, the Lokasenna (Loki’s Flyting) (sacred-texts.com/neu/poe/poe10.…)
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I tried to make what I wrote as close to possible to the real Lokasenna. Unfortunately, that meant replicating certain attitudes and words which we today see as problematic. Consider this a Trigger Warning for the entire poem.
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[Up curtain]
“Thunderous day
Sweeping the thralls away
On my way to where the ale is sweet
Can you tell me how to get?
How to get to Asgarðr Street!”
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[muppets in the shape of letters form up into the following title]

The Snuffleupagusenna; an Æsir/muppet Lokasenna

(With apologies to Norse religion scholars everywhere & to those who like their Twitter threads short & tidy).

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[Luis starts reciting the poem skald-style]

The Swedish Chef, whose other name was Tomas, prepared ginger ale for the muppets. To that party came Grover and Bert. Cookie Monster did not come, because he was on The Late Show. Denise was there, Cookie Monster’s wife.

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Drs. Teeth and Honeydew. Kermit was there; he only had one show to host, because Miss Piggy had taken over the hosting duties of the other. Gonzo was there and his wife Rowlf. There was a great company of muppets and humans.

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The Swedish Chef had two servers, Camilla & another chicken. Gleaming gold was used instead of floodlights. The ginger ale served itself. People praised the chickens highly.
Snuffleupagus could not bear to hear that and he sent one of the chickens into the cornfield.

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The Æsir/muppets brandished their foam rubber shields and yelled at Snuffy, who went into the Street and sulked. The Æsir/muppets went back to the party. Snuffy turned back and met Bob outside of Mr. Hooper’s Store.

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Snuffy said:

Tell me, Bob,
without twitching a muscle.
What are the big-timers
talking about over their ginger ale?
Lousy scene stealers!

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Bob said:

Their roles they speak of
and their performances,
the stars, the performers.
Among the muppets and humans
who are in Mr. Hooper’s Store
no one speaks well of you.

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Snuffy said:

I must go in
to Mr. Hooper’s store
to behold this party.
Backbiting and malicious gossip
I’ll bring to the muppets
and mix their ale with envy.

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Bob said:

You know—if you go in
to Mr. Hooper’s Store
to see the party—
if with tawdry secrets
you harsh their buzz
they will kick you. Hard.

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Snuffy said:

You know, Bob,
if it’s just going to be you and I
who are doing the dozens
I’m going to drop mf-bombs
and yo-mama jokes
if you talk too much!

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Then Mr. Snuffleupagus went into Mr. Hooper’s store. But when the muppets and humans saw who’d come in, they all fell silent. Except for Rowlf, who muttered, “Aw, %$#@!”

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Snuffy said:

I bring a big thirst
to this party,
I, the Calamitous Mr. S.—a very big thirst—
to ask the muppets
to give me one
magnificent drink of ginger ale.

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Snuffy said:

Why so tongue-tied?
Have the hands up your butts stopped moving your mouths,
that you can’t talk?
Give me a place to sit
here in Mr. Hooper’s Store
or send me out of here!

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Dr. Teeth said:

A place to sit
at this party
no muppet will give you!
For every muppet knows
who deserves the ginger ale
and who does not.

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Snuffy said:

Grover! Buddy! Pal! Remember
back in our vaudeville days
when we drank from the same cup?
Chug beer
you swore you’d never do that
unless it was brought to us both at the same time.

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Grover said:

Well, hell. Zoot,
get up off your ass
and allow Paul Lynde, here,
to sit near the ginger ale vat.
Unless, of course, Snuffy
starts talking smack about us
inside Mr. Hooper’s Store.

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Then Zoot stood up and poured ale for Snuffy, but before Snuffy drank, he toasted the muppets.

Snuffy said:

Blessed be the muppets,
and all the cast of Sesame Street!
Except for the one muppet
who hides behind his keyboard.
Dr. Teeth, over there.

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Dr. Teeth said:

Keyboards & synthesizer
from the Electric Mayhem I’ll give you
--and I, Dr. Teeth, will top it all off with my key to the Playboy Mansion—
if you’ll just refrain from working out your issues
at our expense.
Do not anger the muppets lined up against you!

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Snuffy said:

Golden teeth and golden tones.
You’ll always never have either, Teeth!
Of the muppets and humans
who are here in Hooper’s Store
you are the least reliable
on stage or screen!

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Dr. Teeth said:

I know, if I were outside Hooper's Store
as surely as I can play a Keith Emerson riff
I’d be carrying your head in my hands
‘cause my tunes would blow you away—because
you lie like a rug, dig?

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Snuffy said:

You talk a mighty big game—
but you don’t walk the walk,
Dr. Teeth, Butcher of Rehearsals!
But go, start playing
if you feel the rhythm.
As if I wouldn’t win a battle of the bands.

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Dr. Bunsen Honeydew said:

Dr. Teeth, I hope
that the bonds between muppets
prove as strong
as the bonds between atoms
so that you’re not bad-mouthing Snuffy
inside Mr. Hooper’s Store
of all places.

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Snuffy said:

Hold your tongue, Bunsen,
you I attest of all muppets
to be most muppet-eager,
since you put your arms,
freshly sterilized by Germ-X,
around Beaker.

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Honeydew said:

Against Snuffleupagus I will not enter
into a battle of wits,
not here in Mr. Hooper’s Store.
Dr. Teeth I’ll make some mood-stabilizers for,
irate as he is,
I don’t wish for the two of you to take this any farther.

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[Dr. Honeydew gestures, and Beaker rolls out a portable lab complete with beakers over flames. Honeydew pours one beaker into another, there’s a *poof*, and a pill appears in a beaker. Honeydew gives the pill to Beaker, whose hair promptly catches on fire.]

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Gladys the Cow said:

Oh good lord.
Why must you two muppets
in Mr. Hoopers’ Store of all places
go at each other with rending words?
Mr. Snuffleupagus is well known
to be whimsical
and all the muppets dote on him.

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Snuffy said:

Hold your tongue, Gladys.
Let me tell all
of the one who seduced your senses—
Telly Monster
--who gave you a carrot
and you put your leg over him.

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Grover said:

Mr. Snuffleupagus,
are you out of your mind???
To piss off Gladys
when she knows the fates of everyone in the entire world?
She knows as much as I do—and I know everything!

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Snuffy said:

Oh, shut it, Grover.
You were never able
to share the spotlight evenly among the cast.
Often you gave
whom you should not have given
--the least talented!—a lead role.

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Grover said:

I may have given
roles to those I should not
have given them to—two-bit actors.
But you! 8 years you did reality shows,
“Fashion Police” & “Wendy Williams,”
A queen bitch & a bitch queen,
you even gave birth to children!
Which I thought only women did.

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Snuffy said:

Oh, it has been broughten!
I hear you did your stage host act
on Fire Island
and twerked to the beat like the male dancers.
Dressed like a female muppet
you minced right to the world of women—
and that, I thought, was unmanly and perverted.

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Bert said:

Those things you both did
you must never speak about them
to anyone—what you two muppets
did in the old days—
one should always deny one’s past.

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Snuffy said:

Oh, shut up, Bert.
You are Henson’s son
and have always been hungry for me,
for Telly and Fozzie Bear
you—Ernie’s husband—had
embraced both in your marriage bed.

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Bert said:

You know, if I had a place
like Mr. Hooper’s Store
and had fathered a muppet like Elmo
you would not have escaped
from the Sesame Street muppets—
and there’d have been fighting then
with fury against you!

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Snuffy said:

Still trying to mark me, Bert?
Should I itemize more
of my malignancies?
I arranged it
so that you will never see
bright Elmo hosting his show ever again.

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Ernie said:

You’re a lunatic, Snuffy,
to tell us about your
hideous hatefulnesses.
Bert knows how everyone dies,
*everyone*
though he usually keeps silent about it.
You he might make an exception for.

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Snuffy said:

Be silent, Ernie!
I’m fully familiar with you—
in you there’s no shortage of sins.
Of all the muppets and men
who are here inside Mr. Hooper’s Store
every one of them has shared your bed.

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Bert said:

Treacherous is your tongue!
I think that eventually
it will betray even you!
Enraged are the male muppets
and the female muppets against you—
you’ll go home sorry you spoke against us.

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Snuffy said:

Hold your tongue, Bert.
You are a baleful witch
consisting mostly of evil—
for on top of your brother Fozzie Bear
the smiling muppets surprised you
and then, Bert, you must have let out a long foul fart!

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Gonzo said:

There’s little harm
when muppets get themselves a man or woman,
or a boy or girl on the side, or both.
But this is an outrage, that a ball-less muppet like Snuffleupagus
actually entered Mr. Hooper’s Store.
He’s actually birthed children!

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Snuffy said:

Hold your tongue, Gonzo,
when we brought you into Sesame Street
you were a nobody acting in some community theater in the sticks.
Eve’s daughters, the humans,
used you as a toilet
and made water into your mouth.

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Gonzo said:

This is my one comfort:
when I was far from Sesame Street,
my contract bought out by the muppets
I had a son, then,
who nobody hates
and who gets laughs like nobody else in the cast!

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Snuffy said:

Better stop now, Gonzo,
keep your proper sense of discretion!
But I’m not going to keep this a secret any longer:
with your brother Ernie
you had such a son—
and yet that’s what we expected from you!

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Kermit said:

Now hold on there, Mr. Snuffleupagus.
That son, Fozzie Bear, is the best performer
of all the talented actors
on the set of Sesame Street.
He makes no woman or female muppet cry,
doesn’t take anyone’s job,
and adds to ever scene he’s in.

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Snuffy said:

Oh! It actually speaks!
Hold your tongue, Kermit.
You never had the talent
for juggling two shows equally.
That other show
I recall
Miss Piggy stole from you!

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Kermit said:

I’m deprived of my show, it’s true
just like you’re deprived of your son;
the harm is heartache for both.
And your son can’t be happy
when he must wait, acting in off-Broadway theater,
for Sesame Street to be cancelled.

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Snuffy said:

Oh, shut it, you, Kermit,
let you in on a little secret:
your wife had my son.
You never received help with child support
for me cuckolding you.
Dumb bastard.

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Fozzie Bear said:

Your son I see lying down
naked in a performance of Equus
stuck there until Sesame Street is cancelled.
Unless you shut up right now,
@#$%^&!

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Snuffy said:

It took you a lot of money
to get into the pants of Selena Gomez.
Had to give up all your best props, too—
but when Standards and Practices
arrive backstage to judge us
you’ll have nothing to entertain them with
and you won’t know what to do. Dummy.

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Telly Monster said:

You’re so drunk, Snuffy,
that you’ve lost your wits—
why not ease off the drinking?
For drinking too much
makes every muppet a little crazy
and forget how garrulous they can be!

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Snuffy said:

Up yours, Telly,
for way back in the 1950s
your pathetic role in the muppet troupe was given:
with poop on your butt
you’ll always be
and eternally awake as night watchman of the muppets.

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Rowlf said:

You’re jovial now, Snuffy,
--but you won’t be for long.
Your tail won’t thrash so joyfully
for backstage
with Standards and Practices notes
Kermit and Grover are going to stick you forever more.

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Snuffy said:

You know, if—with Standards
and Practices Notes--
Kermit and Grover are going to be stick me backstage,
I’ll always remember
how I was at the dying,
when we heckled your dad into quitting showbiz.

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Rowlf said:

You know, if you were actually at the dying,
when you heckled my dad into quitting showbiz,
from my piano
and my costars
you’ll get nothing but bad advice, forever.

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Snuffy said:

You sang a different tune
that time you were with Mr. S.
When you had me brought to your bed—
that’s something we have to talk about
if we are to be
completely honest about our sins.

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Then Denise came forward and poured for Mr. Snuffleupagus some of the prized ginger ale in a goblet made especially for the feast in Mr. Hooper’s Store by the best of Sesame Street’s propmasters.

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Denise said:

Now, now. You’re welcome here, Snuffy!
Please take the goblet
full of the Swedish Chef’s special ginger ale
--and admit that
yrs. truly is the one muppet
without sins.

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Snuffy drained the goblet. He said:

You’d be the only one
--if indeed you were so—
guarded and grudging towards a male muppet.
But one man I know
---and I think I do know—
was whoring with you—and in your husband Cookie Bear’s bed—
and that was the Calamitous Mr. S.

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Mr. Noodle says,

Aw, hell, the whole set’s shaking.
It’s coming, I think,
from El Monstruo de las Galletas.
He’ll finally shut up
our problem muppet.

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[Cookie Monster crashes through the door to Mr. Hooper's Store.]

Cookie Monster said:

COOKIE! Shut up, Snuffy, you big fluffy rug!
Unless you want me to eat you too.
COOKIE!

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Snuffy said:

Oh, swell, here’s Henson’s most brilliant creation
eating scenery as usual—
why all the bluster, Cookie Monster?
You’re not going to be so smart
when you have to duel with my son, Winston Wolf,
and he’s swallowing Grover Victory Master
whole!

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Cookie Monster said:

COOKIE! Shut up, Snuffy, you big furry rug!
Unless you want me to eat you
and in that case
no more guest-starring roles for you
on Mannix and Kojak.
COOKIE!

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Snuffy said:

Those evening talk shows of yours?
You must not ever
tell the hosts the story,
about that time on Battle of the Network Stars
when Gabe Kaplan ate more cookies than you did!

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Cookie Monster said:

COOKIE!
Shut up, Snuffy, you big furry rug!
Unless you want me to eat you!
With only my mouth I’ll bite you
so that every bone in you breaks!
COOKIE!

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Snuffy said:

I intend to live a long and happy life,
even though you threaten me with being eaten.
I remember one show
when the teleprompter went down
and you couldn’t remember a single one
of your lines!

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Cookie Monster said:
COOKIE!
Shut up, Snuffy, you big furry rug!
Unless you want me to eat you!
My mouth will send your pet projects to Development Hell
down among the executive producers!
COOKIE!

189/256

Snuffy said:

I have said in front of the muppets,
I have said in front of the humans
what I felt like saying—
but only for you
will I shut up and leave,
because I know you’re really hungry
and would eat me if there are no cookies.

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Snuffy said:

You brewed special ginger ale, muppets,
but this is the last time
you’ll have a party.
This entire set,
and all you hack actors—
the network is coming
to cancel the show!

[Curtain drops]

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