Thread by @vmnit

#vminau

jm's always been th's closest person, his favorite, the one he loves the most. but that changes when th gets a new group of friends and not long after, a girlfriend.
jm's forced to face his feelings for his best friend with an already broken heart.

tags:
lots of angst
miscommunication
unrequited love
it gets worse before it gets better
happy ending
might get nsfw in the future 🔞
english isn't my first language so im sorry if my grammar is fucked up 💀

i made a cc! you can ask me stuff or share your opinions about the au 🥰 also pls let me know if you have any constructive criticism, i want to improve my writing! 🌈🌻
curiouscat.qa/vminsqueer

it takes jimin by surprise when taehyung tells him he's busy on movie night, he had already prepared snacks and everything, but he isn't selfish.
he texts back: 'it's okay taehyungie, don't worry about it! we have to watch two movies next time 😉" but next time never comes.

jimin's beyond disappointed but he doesn't let it show. he knows taehyung must be really busy to cancel their movie nights, they all are, but jimin still feels sad about it. he tries to play it cool. they still text everyday when their schedules don't match, if jimin is too

busy taehyung calls him and plays pranks on him to make him laugh, but even these decrease to the point taehyung doesn't call him anymore. jimin feels weird about it. he's too used to have taehyung around all the time so of course he notices when taehyung stops calling him

or texting back. jimin convinces himself that it's normal. they're all super busy preparing for the comeback, their schedules are a mess and, unfortunately, jimin and taehyung's don't match at all. they don't even see each other at home lately, which is why jimin is surprised to

find taehyung chilling on the sofa when he gets back to the dorm.
"tae!" he exclaims excitedly, happy to finally see his best friend. hoseok, seokjin and jungkook are in the same room, but jimin's too focused on taehyung to notice.
"hey, jimin, what's up?" taehyung sits up and

opens his arms to welcome him. jimin hugs him tightly and smacks him in the arm when they separate.
"where have you been? i feel like it's been ages since the last time we saw each other" taehyung chuckles.
"what do you mean? we saw each other like five days ago" jimin frowns.

"it's been two weeks and a half" he takes a step back. he feels a little hurt that taehyung hasn't noticed.
"you've been counting?" taehyung laughs at him. jimin knows he means no harm, they mock and laugh at each other all the time, but he doesn't know jimin's hurt. he takes a

deep breath and does his best to smile and laugh it off.
"well, yeah, i've just missed my best friend" jimin shrugs and looks down. he's mortified when he feels himself blush so he decides that it's his cue to leave. he moves quickly, without looking around, and goes for the

stairs that lead to the rooms.
"wait, jimin-ah!" tae calls for him but jimin's way too embarrassed to come back now. he thinks he heard hoseok say "you fucked up" to taehyung, but he isn't sure. he doesn't want taehyung to feel bad, it isn't his fault jimin's feeling clingy and

doesn't know how to convey it.
jimin goes to his room and a small (big) part of him wishes taehyung would knock at his door and talk to him, but he's also panicking. jimin doesn't understand what he's feeling. a heavy weight compressing his chest and making it hard to breathe.

it's way too similar to an anxiety attack, but not quite. he decides to take a shower to calm down and try to think rationally. taehyung doesn't hate him, they're best friends. taehyung likes him and they're okay. that's what he wants to believe, but when taehyung doesn't ask him

what's wrong the next day jimin wants to cry. why does it feel like he's losing his best friend? what did he do wrong? why can't he fix it? it looks like taehyung doesn't care about him anymore.
the next morning jimin spots him in the kitchen. taehyung's only wearing his boxers.

they're used to seeing each other’s bodies all the time, what jimin isn't used to seeing is taehyung's chest and collarbones filled with purple marks.
"what's...?" jimin stops abruptly when he realizes those are definitely hickeys. he almost chokes. that feeling is back again,

when he feels his chest constricting and a lump in his throat.
"hey, jimin-ah, look at this!" taehyung exclaims happily, showing something on his phone to jimin.
it's a conversation in a group chat, they're sharing memes and jimin doesn't know any of these people. he can't focus

right now. it's too much information to digest. he knows taehyung, taehyung is his best friend. they share /everything/ with each other, /everything/. jimin shakes his head a bit. he would tell him, right? if he was seeing someone? and who the hell were these people in the group

chat? he doesn't have to know them but why didn't taehyung tell him he had a new group of friends?
"hey, jimin-ah, are you okay?" taehyung's looking at him with concern and jimin feels weird. he's angry, sad and maybe, probably, jealous. but he doesn't want to admit it. "look,

i'm sorry about yesterday, okay? i didn't mean to ignore you... i've just been really busy and i didn't notice how much time was passing"
'yeah, clearly you've been super busy' jimin thinks, looking at his best friend's chest, but he doesn't voice it. fuck, he's really jealous

and angry right now, but it isn't his place. jimin takes a deep breath and offers taehyung his best smile.
"it's okay, don’t worry" he goes for a shrug, and tries to sound nonchalant. "i've been busy too, preparing for the comeback, i understand" jimin decides to busy himself

getting his breakfast ready. taehyung looks at him with clear relief. he gets up from where he was sitting and gets closer to jimin, hugging him from the back. jimin stops breathing. he feels too many things at once so he decides it's easier to ignore all of them.

"i'm so happy you understand, jiminie, i thought you were mad at me or something"
"i could never be mad at you, taehyungie" it's a lie. jimin knows it's a lie, but it's going to make taehyung happy. jimin doesn't want to put a weight on him with his own feelings. he doesn't even

understand them yet.
"so..." jimin clears his throat and gently taps at taehyung's arms that were still around his torso. taehyung lets go of him. "you've made new friends?" tae looks excited just at the mention of them, and nods enthusiastically.
"yeah! i met them through

wooshįk, they're all actors! there's an actress i really like, she's so cool and funny, you probably know her already" jihyun is really pretty. and jimin is happy taehyung is sharing about his new group of friends with him, but there's still something that doesn't feel right.

jimin is a bit possessive and he already feels at a disadvantage because his best friend, the person he's the closest to and the one he shares everything with, didn't mention any of this to him. when did taehyung just stop sharing things with him? was jimin the only one still

thinking that what they had was special? there's a lot of things in his mind but the most persistent one is
"is she the one who did it?" jimin didn't mean to say it out loud, he didn't mean to look at taehyung's hickeys that were decorating his skin, he feels absolutely out of

place, but taehyung just laughs and turns a cute shade of red, it goes all the way down to his chest.
"yeah, we're kind of dating"

jimin drops the breakfast he was trying to make and it all gets scattered on the floor. taehyung is startled.
"fuck, are you okay?" both of them move quickly, rushing to clean jimin's mess of fruits and milk.
"yeah, sorry, it just slipped form my hand" jimin lies again, holding

the bigger pieces of glass from the broken bowl in his hand.
"don't hold it with your bare hands!" taehyung scolds him, grabbing the trash can and giving it to jimin, so he could drop the broken pieces there. jimin laughs without intending to, the shattered glass reminding him of

himself.
"i know jihyun is pretty but that reaction was too much" taehyung jokes, and jimin keeps laughing next to him, playing it cool.
"well, the picture on your phone was kinda revealing"
"she's really sexy, right?" taehyung's starting to blush again, and jimin can't

take it. he tries to clean everything quickly. he's being such a bad friend right now.
"yeah, she is" they finish cleaning up.
"we're going on a date tomorrow" taehyung is beaming, his boxy smile on full display. jimin takes a shaky breath.
"that's cool, taehyungie, i'm so happy

for you" he washes his hands on the sink and dries them.
"thank you. i'm so excited!" taehyung's kind of jumping around the kitchen, clearly in his own happy world. and jimin should be happy for him but he's a bad friend. he's a bad friend and what he's feeling is something ugly.

"i hope she's the one!" he says, just to say something, and taehyung looks at him with such hope in his eyes that jimin feels sick. he goes for the door.
"wait, you didn't have breakfast, you should eat something"
"i'm not hungry anymore"

tomorrow is movie night.

that's it for today~ sorry if it was messy, i'm still trying to get used to writing in english! thanks for reading 🥺

curiouscat.qa/vminsqueer

taehyung's been dating jihyun for over a week and jimin's reaching a breaking point. he didn't know it would affect him this way and he feels terrible about it. he's such a bad friend. he hates himself for not being able to be happy for taehyung, when he's clearly head over heels

for jihyun. he won't stop talking about her, about how beautiful she is and how much he likes her. and jimin gets it but that doesn't mean it doesn't make him feel like crap. it's namjoon the one who approaches him first.
"hey, jimin-ah" he offers him a drink when jimin looks up.

jimin smiles at him and takes the can of beer. "hey, hyung, thank you"
"you've been a little bit down lately" namjoon comments while sitting down on the couch next to him. "is everything okay?"
"yeah, hyung, don't worry" jimin responds automatically, shrinking down on the couch

without noticing.
"i worry, and i'm not the only one who's noticed. hyungs are worried, jiminie. you haven't been eating well, you don't have the same energy, it's clear you're under stress. can you tell hyung what's bothering you?" jimin closes his eyes and sighs.

"i didn't realize i was being so obvious, i thought i was better at hiding things" he gives namjoon a tiny smile before sipping from his can.
"you are, it's just that we know you too well. you know you can trust me, right?" namjoon plays with jimin's hair, making him laugh and

take his hand off.
"what if i don't want you to tell the others? it's embarrassing" namjoon just smiles at him, dimples full on display and nods.
"i can keep a secret" jimin knows he can trust namjoon, not only because he's the best leader they could've asked for, but because

he's also the best friend you could wish for. he always knows when's the time to give you advice and when's the time to just leave you alone to figure it out by yourself. jimin must have been doing rather poorly if namjoon wanted to intervene.
"i think i'm jealous, hyung"

"of taehyung, right?" jimin gasps and almost chokes with his own saliva.
"please tell me i'm not being that obvious" he almost begs, feeling himself starting to blush, he's sure even the tip of his ears are red.
"you aren't, actually. i just... know" namjoon pats his thigh and

gives him a reassuring squeeze. when they lock eyes again namjoon's gaze is just tender and full of understanding. jimin feels exposed and a tiny bit uncomfortable, too. "i notice things, that's my job. and i'm also a very good friend" jimin smiles at that, it's true.

"hyung, i don't know what to do", he admits. feeling hopeless again. "i feel like i've lost my best friend and he doesn't even care about it"
"that's not true. hey, jimin-ah, look at me. you know that isn't true" namjoon's eyes are intense and jimin feels guilty, because he knows

his hyung is telling the truth. there's no way taehyung would just stop caring about him, but maybe, just maybe, he cares less. jimin feels like crying again.
"jimin..." joon sighs, taking a gulp of his beer before speaking again. "this is more complicated than i thought"

jimin chuckles at that.
"you don't have to try to solve this, hyung. just the fact that you're here talking to me helps"
"that i know, but i can't handle watching our jiminie sad. i want to help you out with this. it's just that... well, it's complicated" they both laugh, but

jimin also feels like choking, days of repressed feelings threatening to come out in the form of tears. he sniffs and curses, covering his face with his hands. he's so embarrassed.
"oh, jimin" namjoon wraps his arms around him, holding him close and trying to convey all his love

and support with the hug. jimin hides his face on his chest, feeling small, raw and vulnerable. namjoon is about to speak again when jungkook and taehyung enter the living room, both with worried faces. joon shakes his head and mouths at them to leave, which they do silently.

he closes his eyes and hugs jimin tighter. it breaks his heart hearing him cry.
"sorry" jimin says, breaking their embrace quickly. "ugh, this is embarrassing", he sniffs again and tries to dry his tears with the back of his hands.
"it isn't embarrassing, you probably needed to

let it out. here" joon takes a tissue out of his pocket and offers it to him. jimin accepts it greatly.
"thanks, hyung. for everything"
"no need to thank me, i haven't done anything special" namjoon takes a deep breath before asking "have you talked to him about it?" jimin looks

at him startled.
"no, of course not. please hyung, don't tell him, please"
"hey, calm down, i won't say a thing. i was just wondering. this feels like something you should talk about with him. you know he loves you, if you tell him how you feel i'm sure he's going to do

something about it. don't hide it from him, otherwise, he won't ever know his actions are hurting you, alright?" jimin closes his eyes and lets himself fall against the couch. namjoon is right. but it's more complicated than that. there are things jimin can't confess yet. he nods

regardless. namjoon taps his thigh again and says something about work and his studio, but jimin is exhausted. both physically and mentally. he falls asleep in the couch, his phone and the can of beer totally forgotten.

"jimin-ssi~" someone's shaking his shoulder and trying to wake him up, but jimin doesn't want to wake up at all. he makes an annoyed face and tries to push them away. "jimin-ssi, wake up, dinner is ready!" that doesn't encourage him like it would have before. jungkook sighs.

"hyung... you've been sleeping the whole day in this couch and hyungs are worried, i am too. please get up and eat something" before jungkook can say anything else, jimin asks "who's home?"
"right now? just me and seokjin hyung, everyone else is working" jimin lets out a relieved

sigh that doesn't go unnoticed by jungkook, but he doesn't mention anything about it. jimin gets up slowly. when his eyes meet jungkook's the younger boy is looking at him with worry. jimin tuts.
"don't look at me like that, i'm fine" he caresses jungkook's cheek.

"thanks for buying food for me, jungkookie, i need to recharge" the youngest smiles at him brightly and nods, pride radiating from him. jimin gets up and heads for the kitchen to set up everything.
"hyung ate already, it's just the two of us" jungkook informs him. jimin has a

feeling jungkook had dinner with seokjin earlier, but seeing that jimin wouldn't wake up or cook for himself he bought food for him. jimin feels warm and loved.
when they're at the table jungkook starts stimming and jimin knows he wants to tell him something.
"what is it, gguk?"

"uh..." jimin gives him time, unaware of what jungkook wants to talk about. meanwhile jungkook is trying to figure out if he should tell jimin he saw him crying in their hyung's arms and how worried he is. he decides maybe now it's not the time. "just, i hope you enjoy the food"

"thank you" jimin says awkwardly. he knows jk too well, knows that wasn't what he wanted to say, but decides to ignore it. they finish their food together and jimin stays to wash the dishes. before jungkook leaves the kitchen jimin says "i thought tae was home today" unable to

stop himself. he wanted to know where his best friend was and asking jungkook indirectly was his only option. he knows taehyung wasn't going to reply to his messages.
"oh, v hyung left after... uh, he left earlier to meet jihyun noona" jimin's heart sinks but he smiles softly

and nods.
"that's good, i'm glad he's enjoying his free time"
"why... why didn't you ask him yourself?" jungkook looks confused and jimin is quick to find an excuse.
"it was just faster to ask you since you're here, also i don't want to bother him with texts if he's on a date"

jk nods in a gesture of "that makes sense" and says goodnight.
jimin feels suffocated, the kitchen suddenly too small. he spends an unnecessary long time washing the dishes, considering they have an automatic washing machine. he doesnt want to sleep, mind full of racing thoughts.

jimin's never felt like this before. he was close to feeling something similar when he argued with taehyung about his hwarang hyungs, but it's not the same as what he feels knowing taehyung has a girlfriend and is serious about her. he feels like his friendship with taehyung is

slowly fading away, as if it was never there in the first place. he misses him so much.
jimin goes back to the living room to grab his phone when the door opens and he hears giggles and whispers coming from the entryway. he didn't mean to stare at the couple making out in front

of the door but he felt frozen in place. everything he was feeling before multiplying by a thousand. he clutched his phone on his hands and tried to breathe. why wasn't he breathing? taehyung was squeezing jihyun's ass and kissing her desperately while she was holding onto him

like her life depended on it. one of her hands on taehyung's curls and the other traveling down his stomach. jimin choked and started coughing right there, mortified, out of breath and embarrassed.
"oh my god" she said. "jimin! i'm sorry-" she stepped away from taehyung as if he

was burning her, taehyung started blushing, pink going all the way down to his chest.
"we didn't see you- we thought everyone was sleeping already" jimin noticed then that both of them were drunk. he clears his throat and sighs.
"it's okay, huh, don't worry, i had just forgotten

my phone" he raises his hand, showing it to them and tries to give them a smile. he isn't sure if he succeeds.
"ah, yeah, okay" both of them are fidgeting at the door, apparently not wanting to say goodbye. it's clear they had other plans for tonight and jimin just ruined them.

"i was actually heading out!" he says impulsively. "jungkook and jin hyung are already sleeping and i know it's, uh, safer to meet here than somewhere else for you so, yeah, i'm just-" he started rambling on his way out. he was just wearing a slim t-shirt and loose pants. he

puts his shoes on, grabs a mask, his key and passes between them. jimin wasn't expecting taehyung to touch him and try to stop him so he gets startled and frees himself with a sharp and abrupt movement. tae gasps and looks hurt for a second.
"are you sure?" he asks.

"i'll just go" jihyun says behind him and jimin just shakes his head, not breaking eye contact with taehyung.
"it's fine, don't worry about it, there's something i need to do. excuse me" before they can say anything else jimin's out of the house and heading to the parking lot.

he feels the need to run but he can't be that reckless. he spots his car and once he's inside the decision is made for him. there's only one place he wants to be in right now, muscle memory making him drive safely. his mind distracted replaying the kiss he saw before in a loop.

i'll keep updating later today, thanks for reading so far! it means a lot to me 🥺🖤

cc isn't working rn and i had totally forgotten i made one, but i'll be checking it out often from now on and i'll try to be more active. thanks for interacting ily <3

curiouscat.qa/vminsqueer

when he arrives to the practice room he's relieved to find it empty. luckily enough he didn't run into any of the other guys. he was sure all of his hyungs were in the building except for seokjin and he really didn't want to see them right now.
the practice room was a safe space

for him, he felt like he could unravel, show his broken heart and still feel unbeatable.
jimin took off his shoes, picked a random song and started dancing after stretching. he let his emotions flow with the beat, his body moving, mind floating. he tried to leave the anguish on

the floor, behind his step. jimin's body was vibrating with intensity after the second song. he closed his eyes, listened to the strings and the piano and jumped. the kiss played on his mind right at that moment and he opened his eyes abruptly, trying to catch himself, but it was

already late

cw: minor injury, cut, blood

he fell on his side, trying to cushion the fall with his arm to avoid hitting his head. his bracelets bit his skin and he started to bleed from the cut.
"shit" he stayed on the floor for a second, breathless from the hit, but then tried

to get up quickly to avoid getting it dirty. the practice room didn't have a bathroom so he'd have to go out even if he didn't want to. right when he was getting up the door opened, reveling a curious hoseok.
"oh! jiminie" he raises one of his eyebrows, "weren't you at home?"

"uh..." jimin's covering his injury with his hand, trying to stop the bleeding and hoping his hyung doesn't notice. it hurts. "i just wanted to practice something..."
"right. at one in the morning" jimin gulps.
"i had this sudden wave of inspiration-" before he can finish, hoseok

takes a loud intake of breath and says "you're bleeding!", louder than jimin's comfortable with. now that hoseok has noticed he doesn't need any of his other hyungs coming through the door to scold him. he sighs.
"i just got cut but it isn't too deep, don't worry about it, hyung"

"of course i worry about it, our jiminie can't get hurt. let's get you cleaned up, okay?" hoseok grabs him by the hand and leads him to the bathroom, as if jimin would get lost by himself. hoseok helps him clean his wound with such care that jimin feels little, warm and loved.

"aish, our jiminie is so clumsy" the younger boy doesn't even notice he feels like crying because he is, in fact, crying in silence while hoseok disinfects the cut. "ow baby, does it hurt too much?" jimin shakes his head no, sniffing and feeling extremely tired all of a sudden.

"i couldn't even practice more than 10 minutes" he pouts and hoseok coos at him. 'i can't even do that right' he thinks, but doesn't say.
"that's because you shouldn't be practicing this late, honey. let's get you patched up and right back to bed, okay?"
"hyuuung, i'm not a kid",

jimin whines and hoseok chuckles.
"of course you are"
when hoseok applies the bandage on his cut and tells him they should go home jimin remembers taehyung again. on nights like these he was the one on jimin's side, crying with him, but now he was the reason why jimin cried.

"wait, hobi hyung" jimin calls. "i don't want to go home yet"
"why?"
"i have to talk with yoongi hyung about... something..." he lied. and hoseok knew he lied. he was just trying to find an excuse to avoid taehyung. hoseok sighs.
"i'll let it slide just this time, alright?" he

put that formal voice and face he gives them when he scolds any of them, but jimin was just grateful, smiling big at his hobi hyung.
"thank you!" he latches himself on his arms and hoseok catches him greatly, both of them smiling now.
"promise me you'll get some sleep" he boops

his nose and jimin smiles even more.
"i promise hyung. don't worry"

my cc! the links i posted were wrong LOL
curiouscat.me/vminsqueer

jimin goes straight to yoongi's studio, not even caring about knocking, everyone knows the password by now. yoongi isn't surprised at all when jimin opens the door, already used to the members barging in. he gives jimin a look, stopping at the bandage, but doesn't mention

anything about it. he goes back to his work and jimin takes the opportunity to slump on his couch, letting out a heavy breath. when he's comfortable and relaxed he notices how much his body is actually hurting. the wound still stings and his whole left side hurts like hell from

the fall. he's sure he'll be full of bruises by tomorrow but that's a problem that tomorrow's jimin will have to deal with. now he just wants to sleep. he feels even more exhausted as the days keep passing by. it doesn't take much for him to fall asleep on yoongi's couch.

when jimin wakes up the next day the first thing he notices is that his body hurts even more than yesterday. he closes his eyes tightly and tries to breathe slowly to lessen the pain. he hopes it isn't a serious injury because if it is, he'll be totally screwed.

he sighs, rubs his face and sits up. maybe he was sleeping in an uncomfortable position and he just needs to stretch. he hopes that's what it is.
jimin grabs his phone to look at the time and panics for two different reasons. one, he's late for his vocal sessions and two, his

phone is blowing up with notifications. he opens their group chat first.

jimin doesn't remember waking up or saying he didn't want to go back to the dorms. he feels so embarrassed for causing trouble to his hyungs.

{jungkook pt. 1}

{jungkook pt. 2}

{taehyung pt. 1}

{taehyung pt. 2}

jimin is still trying to prepare himself mentally to go out of the studio when he hears someone putting on the code and the door opening. he holds his breath.
"jimin-ssi~" jungkook's voice feels like a chorus of angels at that moment. jimin is so relieved to hear him.

"jungkookie" jimin gets up and goes straight into his arms. jungkook doesn't hesitate to hold him immediately. "thank you for coming"
"ah, of course i was going to come. you're my favorite hyung" they stay quiet for a beat before jungkook says: "don't tell anyone i said that"

jimin laughs so hard his body protests in pain but he doesnt care. jungkook's arms are the only place he wants to be right now and laughing along with him makes him feel safe. jungkook makes sure jimin doesnt fall and holds him tightly, he knows his hyung gets week from laughing.

"i'm sorry for worrying you" jimin says in a tiny voice. "i have too many things going on in my head. i know it's not an excuse but-"
"hyung, it's okay... you don't have to explain anything to me, you know that. i care about you and i love you unconditionally"
"jungkook-ah..."

"yeah?" they separate. jimin looks at him straight in the eye and then hits him in the shoulder.
"stop being so nice and mature! stop growing!"
"yah! stop being so dramatic!" jimin makes an offended face before laughing along with his dongsaeng. he already feels lighter and

happier. jimin raises his hand in a threatening manner, pretending he's going to hit him again, but jungkook stops laughing and looks at him with worry.
"hyung? are you hurt?" jungkook holds him by the wrist and looks at his injured arm. "what happened?" jimin is quick to

hide his arm, hugging himself in a defensive stand.
"it's nothing"
"but hyung-"
"i just had a stupid accident- i fell last night when i was practicing. i was being careless" jungkook keeps looking at him with concern and jimin sighs. "can we just go get some breakfast?"

that seems to distract jungkook enough, he smiles at jimin again and nods.
"yeah, let's go."

jimin and jungkook spend the morning together, chatting, laughing and listening to music while having breakfast. jimin knows jungkook must have had plans for today but the fact that he's spending time with him instead makes him really happy. jimin notices jungkook's eyes

lingering on his bandage from time to time but thankfully he doesn't comment about it.
"hyung, there's something i want to tell you..." jungkook breaks the comfortable silence they had fallen into. jimin nods and looks at him expectantly. "you know..." jungkook gulps. "it's about

namjoon hyung" that takes jimin by surprise. he wasn't expecting jungkook to talk about namjoon.
"what is it, baby? is everything okay between you two?"
"yes. yeah, it always is. but... ugh" jungkook starts stimming and jimin pays close attention to him. he remembers how jungkook

tried to speak to him before but at the end he backed up. it wasn't the first time jungkook did this. jimin wanted to know what was bothering him so much, especially if it involved one of his members.
"did you two fight?"
"no!" jungkook is bouncing his leg and pinching the skin

of his arm, avoiding jimin's eyes. jimin's starting to get worried but he doesn't want to add to jungkook's stress by pressuring him to speak. at the end, it isn't necessary because jungkook blurts it out. "we had sex"
"what" to say that jimin is shocked would be the biggest

understatement of the year. "what" he repeats. jungkook's face is turning red the longer jimin stares at him. it doesn't even look like the boy is breathing. and then jimin remembers. "but namjoon has a boyfriend!"
"sshh!!!" jungkook shushes him and jimin covers his mouth with

his hands, being aware of how loud he was being.
"sorry. but namjoon has a boyfriend" he whispers. jungkook rolls his eyes.
"we didn't- it was before- before that" and then jimin gets it.
"oh no. oh, jungkook" jimin holds jungkook's right hand with both of his.
"yeah" it's the

only thing jungkook says, giving a shrug.
"did you catch feelings?"
"i have always had them"
"fuck"
"yeah" he repeats.
"does namjoonie hyung know?" jungkook looks at him like he's grown two heads.
"no, of course he doesn't. i... i don't want to confess now that he's with

somebody else. it's embarrassing. and i know he doesn't feel the same. why would i even bother? it's going to ruin our relationship" jungkook frees his hand from jimin's but he doesn't take it personal. he knows there are certain moments where jungkook doesn't like being touched.

"so... you don't want to do anything about it?" jimin asks.
"no. not for now, at least. i just... i guess i needed to tell someone. it was kind of eating me up" jungkook sighs and then looks up at jimin for a brief second before turning away. "i thought you were the right person

to tell. like, you would understand how i feel"
"what do you mean?" before jungkook can answer they get interrupted by one of their hyungs calling out their names.
"there you are! have you not checked your phones? what do you even have them with you for?" seokjin scolds playfully

"ah, sorry hyung. we got distracted" jungkook apologizes. "what's up?"
"we have a group meeting. namjoonie is waiting for you two to show up to probably start scolding us all in a very gentle and loving way"
"well damn" jimin closes his eyes and sighs, regretful. "let's go then"

"yeah, let's not make him wait anymore" jungkook comments. "i don't want to get a special mention when he scolds jimin hyung"
"hey" jimin pushes him and jungkook laughs, wrapping his arm around jimin's shoulders. "it's okay hyung, i'll protect you"
"cute" seokjin smiles at them.

the group meeting isn't about jimin like probably all of them expected. namjoon talks about work, their responsibilities and what's expected of them both individually and as a group. jimin can tell some of his members are surprised namjoon didn't arrange the meeting to discuss

what happened with jimin like they would've normally done. he notices some of them want to ask but at the end no one does. he's relieved because he doesn't have an excuse to justify what he did. he can't tell them he just wasn't thinking straight, even if that kind of wraps it up

jimin hadn't had the time to stop and reflect on his actions and what they actually meant and he doesn't want to, either. so when namjoon tells them they can leave and enjoy the rest of the day he feels relieved.
he should have known it wasn't meant for him, though.

"jimin? you stay" everyone stops and stays quiet for a moment before they all start leaving quickly, being aware that namjoon wants so speak with jimin privately about what happened last night. jungkook gives jimin an encouraging smile and raised fist before leaving.

taehyung is the only one remaining in the room. jimin gives him a glance and notices his worried eyes lingering between namjoon and him. it looks like taehyung wants to say something but just like everyone else, he doesn't.
"taehyung-ah" namjoon calls. "i need to speak with him

alone"
"sorry. yes" taehyung shakes his head, like he was trying to gather himself. "uh, jiminie, can we talk later?" the look he gives him feels vulnerable and jimin can only nod. he misses his best friend and wants to talk with him, but for some reason he doesn't feel anything.

right this moment jimin just wants taehyung to leave. his stare making jimin feel like he's suffocating. taehyung leaves the room and jimin feels like he can breathe properly again, his heart plummeting in his chest.
"jimin-ah, you're hurt" namjoon says first. "what happened to

your arm?"
jimin closes his eyes and sighs.
"i fell when i was practicing. nothing serious" namjoon hums and makes a gesture for jimin to seat. jimin does.
"you know we need to talk about last night, right? i can't let it slide"
"i know, hyung" jimin keeps his head lowered,

playing with his fingers over his lap and avoiding namjoon's eyes.
"why did you come running here and why didn't you want to go back to the dorms?" jimin gets slapped then by a wave of unpleasant feelings. he remembers the kiss he witnessed right in front of him. taehyung's hands

all over his girlfriend's body, her hand on his nape and hair, the other one lowering on taehyung's tummy. jimin feels a heavy weight on his stomach, something ugly twisting on his insides. he remembers every detail and he hates how it won't stop playing in his mind.
"jimin-ah"

"sorry, i just-" jimin rubs his face with his hand and lets out a long sigh. "after we talked yesterday my head was a mess. i had all these feelings- i don't understand them, hyung. i just wanted to stop feeling them" jimin gulps, trying to make the lump in his throat dissappear.

"i slept a lot. my mind and body were exhausted. jungkookie woke me up to have dinner and it was already late. i was supposed to be sleeping, i guess, like everybody else... but i was in the living room when taehyung came back with jihyun. they started making out in front of me

and i swear, hyung, i've never felt anything like i did in that moment. my mind was racing, my body froze and i couldn't stop watching, even if it was hurting me. it felt like- like my world was falling apart" jimin lets out a humorless laugh, eyes watering. "this is ridiculous"

namjoon shakes his head no, giving jimin a sympathetic look.
"it isn't ridiculous, jiminie, your feelings are valid. do you know why you feel like this?" jimin bites his lip and sniffs a little, he doesn't say yes or no.
"i'm- i guess, i have an idea" he smiles and shrugs,

wrapping his arms around himself which makes him look small. "i feel so pathetic, hyung. this isn't right"
"don't say that, baby" namjoon gives him a disapproving look. "everything you feel is valid, you can't control your feelings for him and it isn't your fault, okay?"

jimin shudders. 'your feelings for him' repeating on his mind over and over again. he's screwed. he doesn't want to admit them. he isn't ready for that.
"so, you left after you saw them kissing?"
"yeah, i guess my mind couldn't process it well so i tried to escape. i had this

urge to dance. i think i was hoping i could dance my feelings away." jimin stops for a beat and then he adds, "it didn't work well"
"i'm proud of you" namjoon tells him. jimin looks at him confused. namjoon is smiling. "you made so much progress. back then you would have

cried the whole week and look out for things to hurt yourself worse, because you thought you deserved it. now? now you're trying to protect yourself at all costs and looking for alternatives. you also reached out to your hyungs and jungkookie for help. i'm really proud of you,

jiminie. i won't scold you for having an accident, that could happen to anyone, though you know you have to be more careful, right?"
"yes. sorry hyung. i know that was irresponsible of me, i will be more careful from now on, i promise it won't happen again"
"i know it won't" he

offers jimin his hand and jimin takes it. "you have to be more careful not only because of the band but because we worry about you. we love you and we don't want anything bad happening to you. jungkook called me crying last night asking me to find you" jimin laughs at that, his

heart feeling full. "please don't tell him i said that, he won't talk to me for a whole week if you do"
"don't worry, hyung. i won't tell him" jimin is absolutely going to tell him. and he knows namjoon knows. they both laugh.
"there's one last thing i want to ask of you. i know

this is going to be difficult for you and i know it isn't fair to you either, but if you and taehyung are fighting that's going to cause damage to our group dynamic, you're aware of this, right?" jimin sighs and nods. he already knows where this is going and it sucks. "i'm not

asking you to suppress your feelings or stop acting according to them. i don't want you to get hurt and if taehyung is hurting you right now i won't force you to spend time with him. but i do ask you to try and keep it low for the rest of the members, we don't need them to pick

sides or get involved, alright?" jimin nods. he knows he can't let his feelings split the group apart. he isn't going to be that reckless or blame taehyung and try to put the members against him. "i know you love him and only want happiness for him so i'm aware you wouldn't do

anything to hurt him, but i had to tell you regardless"
"i understand hyung, don't worry about it. i won't let this get in the way of the band. i- i just need some time to figure out what this all means and what i'm going to do with it" namjoon nods and squeezes his hand.

"our jiminie has grown up" namjoon looks at him with so much endearment and pride, his smile so big it makes his dimples appear. jimin is mortified to find himself blushing under his stare.
"hyung" he whines, covering his face. "shut up." namjoon let's out a loud 'HA' before

kicking him out and telling him to go get some rest. he also makes jimin promise he's going to show their medical team his arm and let them take proper care of it, to which jimin agrees easily. he feels lighter and his head is a lot more clearer after speaking with namjoon.

when he gets out of the room jungkook is waiting for him, he's bouncing on his feet and playing with his fingers. the first thing he says is: "did he kick you out of the band?" jimin lets out a burst of laughter, almost falling to the ground. of course jungkook catches him.

"what, what are you even talking about?" jungkook looks at him with stars in his eyes, laughing along.
"i don't know! i was worried, okay?" jimin pinches his cheek.
"you're so cute" jungkook just smiles wider at that.
"i know. now let's go get your arm checked, okay?" jimin is

about to answer but he gets startled by another voice.
"what happened to your arm?" he turns around quickly, noticing that taehyung was sitting next to the door, apparently waiting for him, too. jimin remembers taehyung wanted to speak with him.
"oh, taehyungie" jimin says.

"i had a silly accident, it isn't serious at all. don't worry about it" taehyung frowns and keeps looking at his arm until jungkook takes jimin's hand and hides his arm behind him.
"don't worry, v hyung, we're heading for a check up, jimin hyung is okay. let's go?" he says in a

hurry and starts walking away from taehyung. jimin follows him. if he's being honest, he doesn't want to look at taehyung right now. it makes him anxious and it hurts, which makes jimin feel incredibly uncomfortable. he's never felt those things before when looking at his best

friend, so he doesn't know how to deal with it.
"wait, jimin-ah! we need to talk-" taehyung gets up from the floor in a rush but when he gets closer jimin holds onto jungkook tighter. jimin's heart feels like it's going to burst and jungkook must see something in his eyes because

his whole body reacts in a defensive manner.
"ah, hyung, seriously? why are you so selfish?" jimin gasps when jungkook confronts taehyung, his hyung looking at their youngest with shocked eyes.
"excuse me?" taehyung frowns, genuinely confused, his eyes darting to jimin.

"jungkook" jimin scolds him, pulling his arm.
"can't you see that he's hurt?"
"jungkook!" this time, jimin's voice is loud enough to startle him. jungkook looks at him and is about to say something when taehyung interrupts them.
"he's right, i'm sorry", he says. raising his hands

"i was being dumb. we can definitely talk later. i can wait, go" taehyung smiles at jimin but it feels forced. jimin can't help himself from feeling like something between them is broken. he takes a deep breath and nods, tugging at jungkook's arm again. the younger follows him

in silence.
"i'm sorry", he says after a bit. jimin sighs.
"let's not talk about it"
"but hyung-"
"please" jimin begs. "not now" jungkook stays quiet then. jimin can tell that he's sorry and he probably feels guilty right now, but he can't focus on that. he just wants to stop

thinking about it all. he's tired.

they go see the nurse, he tells them the wound isn't serious but jimin has to be careful so it doesn't open again. jimin gets his whole arm checked by their professional team. they make him stretch and put an elastic therapeutic tape on his

shoulder. they tell him the pain will be completely gone in three days if he follows the stretching routine. jimin is relieved and ashamed at the same time. he made such an amatuer mistake. he's literally trained to avoid falls like that. he tries to distract himself talking to

jungkook and thankfully it works. jungkook is an excellent companion and keeps jumping from topic to topic to keep jimin entertained.
"let's go home, yeah?" jungkook tells him. jimin just nods.
"what about taehyung, though?"
"do you want to talk to him right now?" jimin thinks

about it carefully and then shakes his head.
"no"
"let's go home then. hobi hyung texted me saying he's waiting for you" that makes jimin smile. his hobi hyung knows how to take care of him the best.

jimin wasn't going to take a nap. he was watching a movie with hoseok when he texted that. he feels terrible about it. he's never lied to taehyung so much or avoided him before. it sucks. but he can't confront him until he figures out what he feels for him and what to do with it.

seokjin comes back to the dorm later in the afternoon and calls for jimin, he tells them they're going to make dinner tonight. jimin likes cooking but they never have the time or energy to do it so he's happy to help. they make samgyupsal with side dishes like kimchi, japchae and

of course, lettuce.
at some point jungkook appears in the kitchen and starts helping, too. hoseok sets the table and the rest of the boys arrive just in time. jimin wonders if they've planned this dinner without telling him. they probably did. he's happy regardless.
it's been a

long time since they've had dinner together like this and it warms jimin's heart. he avoids taehyung's stares at all costs, but apart from that, it's a beautiful evening. when they're done most of them help cleaning. they send jimin to sleep and he takes the opportunity to take

a shower.
once he's in the bathroom he takes his clothes off and looks at his reflection in the mirror. his arm is a little bruised but it doesn't look too bad. his face on the other hand... he has bags under his red eyes, chapped lips and overall looks wasted. like he hasn't

slept in a week. he sighs. jimin gets in the shower and tries to relax. he hopes the water can take away all his worries. he washes his hair and body and closes his eyes. he's had a long day and he wants to feel good. he caresses himself, hands wandering over his chest and tummy.

🔞
he plays with his nipples and shudders, his cock throbbing. it doesn't take long for him to get hard. he strokes his cock softly and plays with the head, small whimpers escaping his mouth. he teases himself until he can't take it anymore. it's then that taehyung crosses his

mind. jimin moans loudly when images of taehyung wrapping his big hands around his dick and waist appear on his mind. he thinks about what it would feel like to have taehyung pressed against him, like he was against his girlfriend. he remembers their kiss but this time, taehyung

is kissing jimin instead. taehyung kisses him like he wants to devour him and jimin can't get enough. jimin wonders what it would feel like to have taehyung pinning him against the door, undressing him and taking jimin right there. he wonders if taehyung's cock would fit inside

him. he knows it's big. jimin's free hand travels to his back and he hesitates, he's never done this before, doesn't know if he'll like it, but he's curious. he touches his rim and shudders, pressing his index finger inside. it's uncomfortable so he takes it out and grabs the

lube he keeps in the cabinet to coat his fingers. he tries again. this time his finger slides in easily, it doesn't hurt at all. jimin imagines it's taehyung's long fingers opening him up.
"oh my god", his dick throbs, his whole body feels like it's on fire. he starts fingering

himself slowly, exploring his rim until he can fit another one inside. the stretch feels good. he opens his fingers and lets out a loud moan. he likes it, he likes it a lot. it feels so good. jimin finds a rhythm, his fingers matching with his strokes. it's driving him crazy.

he imagines taehyung taking him from behind and fucking him raw, one of his big hands around his cock and the other one around jimin's neck, making jimin's eyes roll back. the image is so vivid in jimin's mind, his fingers go deeper and he touches his prostate. the guttural moan

that leaves his mouth would embarrass him to death if he wasn't so lost in pleasure. his knees go weak and he almost falls. jimin slides slowly on his knees and tries to find that sweet spot again. when he does, he starts rubbing against it, his eyes rolling back and mouth

open in a silent scream. he comes harder than ever before, his cock twitching and his rim squeezing his fingers inside. he whines loudly, stroking himself faster until he's oversensitive. he takes out his fingers, feeling incredibly empty right after. jimin stays under the

shower stream, trying to catch his breath. the high lasts another few seconds before jimin starts feeling guilty.
it was clear since the start. even when he tried to ignore it and deny it, lying to himself never lasts. he was in love with taehyung and there was no escape from it.

jimin gets out of the shower with just a towel around his waist and nothing could've prepared him to see taehyung sitting on his bed, waiting for him. he panics. then remembers what he just did in the shower and wonders if taehyung heard anything. jimin feels mortified,

face going red. the blush spreads all the way down to his chest.
"jimin" taehyung greets him with a smile. "you spent a long time in there", he chuckles, and jimin feels completely exposed. he knows tae has no way to know he was thinking of him, but it's still embarrassing.

"what" jimin mumbles, trying to look nonchalant. "did- did you hear anything?"
"like what?" taehyung raises one of his eyebrows and then it hits, he looks at jimin with a teasing smile. jimin curses himself. "what were you doing in there?"
"nothing!"
"yeah, sure", taehyung claps

his hands and laughs. jimin wants the earth to swallow him. "if you hadn't said anything i wouldn't have noticed!" he laughs louder. jimin stomps next to him and hits him in the arm.
"yah, stop it! don't make fun of me" he groans. "what the hell are you even doing here? you're

invading my privacy" taehyung stops laughing at that, his serious face concerning jimin. taehyung frowns and then pats the bed, inviting jimin to sit with him. jimin does.
"i have this feeling like i've fucked up everything" taehyung sighs and clears his throat. "we need to talk"

he hesitates. "you've been avoiding me" and that takes jimin by surprise. he has been avoiding taehyung today, but for the longest time he had been trying to reach out to him.
"you've been avoiding me", jimin counters. "we barely see each other anymore ever since-", he can't

say it. he shallows.
"since?", taehyung urges. "jimin-ah?"
"how can you not notice?" jimin murmurs and then shakes his head. he doesn't know if he's disappointed in taehyung or himself. "you've been slowly replacing me" jimin finally speaks in a tiny voice.

"what!? no!" taehyung holds jimin's hands tightly. "why are you saying that all of a sudden?"
"ask your new friends, you seem to have all the time in the world for them", jimin hates the way it sounds, like he's just jealous taehyung has made new friends. but it isn't like that.

taehyung could have a thousand friends and jimin wouldn't mind, because taehyung has always made him feel special among all of them. but this time jimin doesn't feel like he holds a special place in taehyung's heart anymore. "and your girlfriend", jimin gets the courage to say.

taehyung stays quiet at that, biting his lip and jimin frees his hands from his grip. taehyung looks like he's deep in thought.
"are you jealous?" his voice is cautious, not in a teasing or funny way.
"no", jimin lies. "it isn't jealousy. i just-" what else could he say?

'i've always been in love with you but i realized way too late to even try and now i don't even stand a chance'? he gulps.
"i'm sorry" taehyung speaks. "for making you feel that way" none of them say anything after that, too submerged in their own thoughts. they don't look at

each other. jimin comes to the conclusion that it's better to let taehyung think he was a bit jealous and let it slide. it isn't like he can say the truth.
"i wanted to apologize since yesterday", taehyung confesses, looking at jimin straight in the eye with sincerity. jimin

looks away, his heart hammering in his chest. "jungkook scolded me badly last night, when you left", taehyung gulps and jimin's breath hitches, he holds tightly onto the bedsheets. "he told me i was being an asshole, and not just to you but everyone else, too" he licks his lips

and lets out a loud sigh, head on the bed backrest. he doesn't look at jimin anymore, his eyes lingering on the ceiling. "i swear i didn't notice and i don't know what came over me but i didn't mean to replace any of you guys. i guess i was just too excited over my new group of

friends and my girl that i forgot about my own family. i kept canceling my plans with you to go out with them-"
"there's nothing wrong with spending time with them or your girlfriend, tae", jimin interrupts, now feeling guilty. to make taehyung feel bad was never the goal.

"no, i know that. i know, jiminie, but i kept neglecting you and that wasn't right of me either. i... i spent a whole day with you avoiding me and i couldn't take it anymore, it was bad", he laughs. jimin smiles a little. "i'm sorry. and i'm sorry for canceling movie nights, too"

jimin bites his lip and nods, accepting taehyung's apology. he has to reflect on it but for now, he takes it. "i didn't mean to hurt you", he adds. jimin holds his breath, a lump forming on his throat again.
"it's okay", jimin manages to speak. "i didn't say anything either"

taehyung raises his hand and caresses jimin's cheek. for a second that lasts an eternity, they find themselves getting lost on each other's eyes.
"can you stay tonight?", jimin blurts out, cheeks tinted with pink. taehyung hesitates and jimin feels stupid, he knows taehyung

is probably going to see his girlfriend tonight because he didn't spend the night with her yesterday.
"yeah", he answers, and jimin is genuinely surprised. taehyung smiles at him and holds both of jimin's cheeks, squeezing his face. he leans over to give him

a kiss on the forehead and jimin turns red again, speechless. his heart is threatening to jump out of his chest. he wonders if taehyung can hear it, or see it in his face, the way he loves him.
"let's sleep together tonight", taehyung tells him, and jimin can only nod.

that's it for today!
here's my cc, you can leave questions about the characters too 🥰 thank you sm for reading 🌻💚
curiouscat.me/vminsqueer

top of the thread 🌸

https://twitter.com/vminsqueer/status/1458933796959621124?t=PsoW9SthrrqXEineuNoWTA&s=19

jimin and taehyung are wearing their matching pajamas, laying comfortably in bed. they'd been talking for the past hour, whispering to each other as if they were sharing secrets. sometimes taehyung gets distracted by his phone and jimin tries to ignore the jab in his heart

when that happens and he has to stop speaking. jimin feels like his presence is not enough for taehyung, something he's never felt when he was with his best friend before. he tries not to, he really does, but his curiosity wins over his self control. he catches a glimpse of

their conversation and regrets it immediately. he feels like throwing up.

{jihyun and tae's conversation pt. 1}

{jihyun and tae's conversation pt. 2}

it's like a hard slap across his face. he was so immersed in taehyung and their conversation, their closeness, that he got fooled by his own mind and forgot about his girlfriend. but taehyung likes jihyun, maybe even loves her, and jimin needs to remember that. he can't allow

himself to hope for more, not even for a second. taehyung and jimin can only be friends. and jimin is terrified of ruining that, too. he untangles himself from taehyung, turning around to avoid facing him.
"jiminie? are you going to sleep already?" jimin closes his eyes and

swallows, trying to speak over the lump in his throat.
"yes", he says, almost in a whisper. "i'm tired."
realizing you have feelings for your best friend and that you've been repressing them for the longest time, only to acknowledge them when that person is off limits, can be

quite exhausting. especially when you have to maintain a facade in front of them to avoid ruining years of friendship.
jimin's heart is bleeding for taehyung and the only thing he can do about it is keep it in a locked cage, hoping that his friend never finds out about it.

taehyung turns around to cuddle him but jimin takes his hands off like they're burning him.
"what's wrong?", taehyung asks. jimin can picture his worried face even with his eyes closed.

'everything's wrong', 'everything's changed and it's all my fault', he thinks.

"nothing, i just-"
"have i done something wrong?", taehyung interrupts him. jimin gasps, turning to look at him.
"no! of course not, i'm just- i'm not feeling well". it isn't a lie after all, he does feel like shit. just not for the reasons taehyung might think. "that's all."

"but you love cuddling when you feel sick", taehyung mumbles, sensing something is odd. he frowns. "are you still mad at me?", his voice wavers a little and he starts playing with the bedsheets. "i get it, i was being an asshole and i'm really sorry-"
"no, tae, please", jimin

nearly begs. he hates it. he hates it so much, he doesn't want to make taehyung feel bad so... he lies, "it doesn't have anything to do with you. i just need to be alone right now, okay?"
"are you sure?"
"yes."
taehyung gets out of the bed without another word, slowly, like he

really doesn't want to leave. he hesitates once he's standing next to jimin's bed. the look taehyung gives him makes jimin's heart cry, like he's begging jimin to ask him to stay, but against every single fiber of his body he just... doesn't.

and something breaks then.

something that feels like they'll never be able to fix again.

taehyung nods and leaves without a word, jimin finding himself alone again. his bed feels suddenly way too big and way too cold. jimin allows himself to cry and promises it will be the last time.

he cries because of the guilt he feels for falling in love with the wrong person and not being allowed to control it. he cries for feeling jealous of taehyung's girlfriend when he thinks about him making love to her. he cries for feeling dirty because of what he did

in the shower, touching himself in such a lascivious way thinking of him. he cries because his friendship with taehyung will never be the same again and he's the one to blame. he hates himself for it. he wishes he could stop feeling everything.
he falls asleep just like that.

tw: depression
i want to clarify that minie already had depression, it's just that facing his feelings for tae and getting his heart broken at the same time contributed to worsen his condition. this fic will focus a lot on that and jimin's journey trying to heal, if these are

triggering topics for you i recommend you stop reading and take care of yourself pls!

tw: internalized homophobia

cw: non-romantic smut between jikook. i know some people don't like to read characters from the main ship having sex with others so i'm warning you in case you want

to stop reading.

cw: romantic smut between jihyun and taehyung
if you want to keep reading but skip these parts you can dm me and i'll link u the tweet with the continuation!

side ship namkook 🥰
slow burn!! heavy angst with happy ending
vmin smut ofc!
also yoongi is asexual <3

oof that's it! sorry for the long interruption!! i wanted to be sure to tag everything so we can continue and stay safe, i'll make sure to keep tagging if something else comes up. thank you for reading! 🌻💚

curiouscat.me/vminsqueer

jimin knows taehyung is trying to make an effort to get close to him again but jimin doesn't want to spend time with him. it isn't like he doesn't miss his best friend because he does, they were attached at the hip before and it's hard to get used to anything different, but jimin

isn't used to look at taehyung and want to kiss him, either. he's overwhelmed by his own feelings most of the time. he knows he's being unfair. he was sad because he felt like taehyung was replacing him and now that taehyung is trying to get back to the way things used to be,

jimin isn't ready. it's frustrating because he knows it's his own fault.

"what's up?" jungkook's voice startles him.
they were taking a break from filming their new music video and jimin was sitting by himself on a makeup chair. he looks at jungkook's reflection in the

mirror and smiles at him.
"you look sad today" their youngest comments, wrapping his arms around jimin's chest and resting his chin on his head. jimin shrugs.
"i don't feel particularly sad today", he says. "just... apathetic." jungkook hums at that and then smiles mischievously.

"want some candy?" he turns around jimin's chair so he's facing him and takes out a couple of lollipops from his pocket, offering one to jimin.
"we're on a diet" is his answer, but he takes the lollipop anyway. "why are you like this?" jungkook laughs.
"i love breaking the rules"

"can i get one?" tae's voice surprises them, he sounds timid and it's very uncharacteristic of him.
"i don't have any left", jungkook answers plainly and taehyung pouts at him, his puppy eyes looking sad.
jimin stares at them and feels guilty. he promised namjoon he wouldn't let

anything like this happen but now jungkook was being awkward with taehyung because of him. it was wrong. he can't allow this to keep going.
"you can have mine", jimin says and offers his lollipop to taehyung. he can tell taehyung is about to say no, so jimin just puts it in his

hand and smiles at him. "would you mind leaving us alone? i need to talk with jungkookie." taehyung's cheeks turn pink, lips pressed in a thin line. he gives a short nod and leaves without a word. jimin sighs and covers his eyes with his hand. it doesn't pass long before jungkook

is asking him what's wrong.
"you need to stop this", jimin answers. "you shouldn't be mad at him, he hasn't done anything to you"
"i'm not mad at him", jungkook says stubbornly. jimin rolls his eyes.
"i've already forgiven him, you have to do the same" the younger huffs at that.

"i know he hurt you when he stopped hanging out with you, he hurt me too, hyung. he was so engrossed with his new group of friends and his girlfriend that he forgot about us. if you've forgiven him then why are you avoiding him so much? why can't i do the same?" jungkook objects.

"is it because you are in love with him?"
jimin gets up from the chair in a sudden motion, looking at jungkook with shock.
"are you crazy?"
"i notice the way you look at him-"
"shut up!" jungkook gets startled when jimin raises his voice, looking at their surroundings and

noticing namjoon watching them from the distance. their hyung frowns and starts heading their way. jungkook gulps. he can't deal with two angry hyungs at the same time. three if he counts taehyung. fuck.
"hyung-" jungkook tries to talk to jimin to get him to calm down but it's

useless.
"no, don't say that out loud again", jimin chides, looking frantic. he's anxious and scared, he doesn't want anyone to know that. it's his secret and he must keep it to himself or everything will be ruined. how does jungkook even know?

"what's going on with you two?"

jimin's whole body gets tense in a defensive manner when namjoon talks. jungkook looks at their hyung with guilty eyes.
"it's- it's my fault, hyung. i said something out of place" jungkook answers to his question. "i'm sorry"
jimin can't listen to what namjoon is saying. he feels

like he's floating in a bubble, the noise from the outside being distorted. he's losing control. he just shouted at their youngest member in front of everybody. and now everyone's looking at them, waiting for something to happen, wanting to know. jimin feels sick. he can't stay

in control even if he tries his best and that makes him panic. he takes a shaky breath and leaves. he can hear his members calling out his name but he needs to get out of here. jimin is familiar with this feeling but it had been a long time since he's felt it. when he was younger

and had to perform for thousands and thousands of people who were expecting him to be a certain way and he knew he couldn't meet all their demands, he couldn't be the perfect doll they wanted so bad. he would start panicking and wondering if he was really worthy.
now, his mind

was filled with similar thoughts. if he had been in a different headspace it would've been easier to deal with but he wasn't, so his mind started playing tricks.
what was his purpose for staying if he can't do his work properly? if he can't even be a good hyung to his taehyungie

and jungkookie? he was hurting taehyung and jungkook just because he couldn't get his shit together and now he just caused a scene in front of their whole crew. he felt pathetic.
jimin goes straight to the bathroom, he knows he doesn't have much time before his hyungs go looking

after him so he tries to calm down. he tries inhaling and exhaling, counting down the seconds like his therapist taught him. he washes his face and keeps counting, breathing. he sits on the floor, his back resting on the wall and he focuses on the ceiling. he tries to reassure

himself even if it isn't easy. it doesn't pass long before the door to the bathroom is opening. he was expecting namjoon or any of his other hyungs, but jungkook is the one who comes in. his eyes are red and that makes jimin feel worse.
"i'm sorry, hyung", the young boy says

immediately after locking eyes with jimin. jimin shakes his head and starts getting up. "i shouldn't have called you out like that, it was so out of place, especially when we were in public" jungkook stays in his place, like he's scared of approaching his hyung and angering him.

"it's okay", jimin says with a shaky voice. "i'm not mad at you, i'm mad at myself. i-" he lets out a weak laugh when he feels that familiar lump in his throat. "i'm sorry for raising my voice at you, i don't know what's wrong with me"
"don't say that, hyung" jungkook finally

approaches him and jimin can't help but feel relieved. "can i hold you?" jimin nods without a second thought and jumps into his arms. jungkook catches him.
"we've been doing this for ages and i can't even stay professional, it's eating up at me", jungkook hugs him tighter and

jimin hides his face on his neck. "the more it affects me, the more i feel like a total loser"
"you aren't a loser, you're just hurt", jungkook tries reassuring him, one of his hands goes all the way up to jimin's nape and hair, playing with it. "you can't control what you feel."

jimin focuses on jungkook's breathing, the younger boy rocking him slightly to calm him down. jimin feels so, so loved at that moment. he wants to feel more of it. he comes out of his hiding place, his face mere inches away from jungkook's. they look at each other intensely,

jungkook's breath catching in his throat. jimin gulps.
"hyung..." the younger lets out a quivering laugh, cheeks turning pink. jimin bites his lip and tries to get away from him but jungkook holds him in place.
"jungkoo-?" jimin doesn't finish calling his name before the younger

is kissing him. jimin gasps on his lips but kisses him back. at first it's just a soft brush of lips but the kiss turns desperate in a matter of seconds. they're holding each other tightly, jimin's hands grabbing jungkook's t-shirt when the younger pulls his hair to deepen the

kiss. jungkook's hands travel down jimin's back to lift him up and jimin is quick to place his legs around his waist.
"hyung... fuck" jungkook holds him effortlessly, pressing jimin against the wall.
"jungkook, wait-" jimin shivers against him when their crotches end up pressed

against each other and lets out a soft moan. "wait, someone could come in" jimin whispers, tapping jungkook's shoulder, asking to be let down without words. jungkook hesitates and looks at the stall next to them. jimin bites his lip. they stay still for a second until jimin nods

and jungkook is quick to enter the stall, placing jimin on his feet to close the door behind them.
"what are we doing..." jimin mumbles, his hands shaking with anxiety but at the same time being aroused, his body feeling hot all over.
"this is so hot" is jungkook's answer, making

jimin cackle with laughter and loosen up a bit. "you're so hot, hyung"
"oh my god, shut up" jimin's cheeks heat up and jungkook laughs at him.
"and cute. my cutest hyung"
jimin can't take it anymore, he's vibrating with desire. he wants him, wants jungkook badly, needs him to

make him feel good and loved and enough. the intensity in jungkook's eyes making his knees go weak.
"please" is the only word that comes out of jimin's mouth and he embraces jungkook when the younger boy starts kissing him again. taehyung crosses jimin's mind and he wonders what

would it feel like if it was him the one tasting jimin's lips. he closes his eyes tightly and tries to make the image go away.
"jungkook..." he whimpers, their erections keep rubbing and jimin is starting to get desperate. jungkook keeps moving his hips, both of his hands going

to jimin's ass to press him against his crotch.
"what do you need, hyung?" jungkook looks straight into his eyes, making jimin feel eager.
"you- i need you" the younger boy smiles at that and then drops to his knees. jimin gasps in shock, opening his eyes wide. "wait- what are

you doing-oh my god" jungkook starts rubbing jimin's hard-on over his clothes, making jimin whine.
"you need to be quiet, what if someone comes in looking for us?" jungkook's eyes are sparkling, mischievous and dazed. "i'm going to use my mouth, okay?", he asks for permission

and jimin can only wonder where did his cute dongsaeng go. he lets out a weak 'yes' and jungkook is quick to unbutton jimin's pants, lowering them and his boxers just enough to take out his dick. there's no coming back from this now, jimin thinks. and he doesn't regret it one bit

jungkook looks up at him and smiles before taking jimin in his mouth, deep throating him at one go.
"fuck!" jimin cries, covering his mouth with his hand immediately. jungkook's cheeks are flushing red, his eyes closed and he looks and feels like he's done this plenty of times

before. jimin makes a mental note to ask him about it later. now, he just enjoys the way jungkook's tongue plays with the head of his cock, making jimin shiver and his knees tremble.

it doesn't take long before jimin is warning jungkook he's about to cum. jungkook doesn't move, he keeps bobbing his head and sucking with intensity, stroking jimin's dick with his right hand where his mouth can't reach. jimin comes in his mouth, letting out a loud and long moan.

jungkook shallows everything, not a single drop left.
"fuck, jungkook... that was so good" to his surprise, jungkook flushes even more when jimin praises him. jimin caresses his cheek. "get up, let me return the favor"
"fuck-yes, yes" they change positions, jungkook sits on the

toilet and jimin gets on his knees. when he has jungkook's cock in his hand and they lock eyes again he remembers there's really no way back from this. they've crossed the lines friends shouldn't ever cross. the thing is they both like it, they like it a lot. and they can't stop.

that's it for today! I'll try to upload more later! <3

here's my cc, you can leave comments about the au and ask about the characters! we'll get more of taehyung's pov in the upcoming updates 👀

curiouscat.me/vminsqueer

"you don't wanna go in there", taehyung mumbles when namjoon approaches him.
"what's wrong?", their leader asks with a frown. taehyung can tell he's annoyed and wants to give them a piece of his mind. to the three of them.
"jimin and jungkook are inside but they're- uh..."

namjoon raises one of his eyebrows.
"they're what?" namjoon looks exasperated enough and taehyung doesn't want to taste his patience so he goes straight to the point.
"i heard them kissing and, uhm, doing you know what, i think"
"you think?"
"no, i'm sure" namjoon sighs and

rubs his face with his hand.
"i stayed here so they don't get caught..." taehyung feels extremely uncomfortable and jittery but he isn't sure why. maybe because they're two close friends.
"it's okay, taehyung, you can leave. i'll stay here and talk to them when they come out"

taehyung doesn't stay to know what namjoon has to tell them, he leaves as soon as he can. before namjoon came he was frozen on the spot, the sounds he heard coming from his friends making his skin crawl. he should've stopped them maybe, probably. what they were doing wasn't okay.

it wasn't only risky but also... weird? they were all like family, right?
taehyung tries to stop thinking about it. he tries texting his girlfriend but when they start being explicit and sexual his mind wanders to what he heard in the bathroom. he tells jihyun he's busy getting

done his scenes from the music video but he just ends up feeling bad for lying.
taehyung knows same-sex relationships are normal and he's okay with it but jungkook and jimin? there's something that bothers him about it and he can't figure out what. he can't imagine any of his

members being together. they're brothers, aren't they? but then again, when thinking about jimin he doesn't think 'brother' is fitting. they've always addressed the other as best friends. he guesses jimin and jungkook think the same about each other, then.

taehyung sees jimin and jungkook coming back to the set, namjoon behind them with an expression he's never seen in his face before. he looks annoyed and angry and at the same time lost. taehyung thinks that maybe his hyung can't understand what's going on between jungkook and

jimin either.
the expression on their faces is totally different from namjoon's. they look a little nervous but it doesn't seem like they regret it at all. they're even intertwining their pinkies and walking glued to the other. taehyung feels a heavy weight in his stomach,

something acid that makes him anxious and uncomfortable. his heart rate starts picking up.
he doesn't realize he's frowning up at them until he locks eyes with jungkook and he lets go of jimin's hand quickly, looking away from him. jimin stares at jungkook with confusion until

his eyes meet taehyung's. it isn't his intention, it really isn't, but taehyung can't avoid giving them a displeased look. jimin's facial expression changes, his features hardening immediately. he calls out for jungkook and grabs his hand instead, interlocking their fingers.

the rest of the day continues like that. jimin and jungkook stay attached at the hip and taehyung is in a terrible mood. he doesn't try to hide it, he never does. taehyung isn't the type to treat people badly according to his mood swings but he isn't the type to give them fake

laughs either. he stays professional and respectful, doing what needs to be done in order to get his job finished properly.
when they're done filming group scenes and some of the individual ones jimin and jungkook leave in the same car. taehyung considers going with them for a

brief second but then shudders, he doesn't even want to imagine what they could be doing in there. isn't that unprofessional of them? did namjoon hyung even scold them? why are they leaving together? have they been dating all this time? why hasn't jimin told him about it?

after being granted permission taehyung goes to pick up his girlfriend. she's the only one who can make him feel better right now. he loves spending time with her, she makes him feel at ease and happy.

jihyun is already waiting for him when he parks the car, greeting him with a

lovely smile.
"hi, baby. did you miss me?" she jumps into his arms as soon as he's out of the car. taehyung chuckles and takes jihyun's hair out of her face, he caresses her cheek before giving her a peck.
"hi, beautiful. i'm always missing you" he bites her lower lip playfully,

making her giggle before they're all in each other's space, touching and kissing. taehyung opens the back door of his car and they enter clumsily.
"wait, let's go to my place?" she asks once she's sitting on his lap.
"i have to go back" taehyung pouts at her and jihyun takes the

opportunity to kiss him. "they gave me like two hours, i have to sleep early and all that because we start shooting at six" he starts taking off his shirt and she does the same. taehyung takes the time to cover her neck and chest with wet kisses once she's uncovered.

"alright. but you owe me a date" jihyun pulls him by the hair and makes taehyung look up at her. "promise you'll take me somewhere nice" she places her index finger against his lips, taehyung smiles and bites her. "hey"
"i promise"

taehyung doesn't mean it, he doesn't know what the hell he was thinking or why, but when he's inside of her and she's moaning out his name so sweetly like she always does, he remembers the way jimin was moaning inside that bathroom stall. the pretty sounds that came out of his

mouth and made his crawl coming back at him. he curses and tries to get rid of that image. it's disgustingly inappropriate to be thinking of his best friend in a moment like this. maybe it's out of curiosity because he's never imagined jimin like that, he didn't even know he

liked men. jeez, he didn't even know jungkook liked men.
his thrusts come to a halt when a flashing image of jimin riding him assaults his mind. he gasps and opens his eyes, focuses on his girlfriend that's looking at him with curiosity.
"wanna change positions?", she

asks, unaware. taehyung can't find his voice, he just shakes his head and gulps, trying to catch his breath.
"just wanted to look at you. you're so beautiful, you know?" he isn't lying. she is gorgeous and taehyung loves her. he loves her, right?
he stares at her naked body on

top of him and bites his lip. he feels really lucky to have her right now. he bites one of her breasts and starts sucking at her nipple, squeezing the other one with his hand. jihyun lets out little whimpers and starts riding him again, taehyung moves away to take a better look.

he focuses on her only, allowing his mind to take a break from everything that's troubling him.

jimin wasn't expecting namjoon to be waiting for them when they came out of the bathroom. he wasn't expecting the way jungkook was almost hiding behind him and grabbing him by the arm tightly either. jimin knew he would have to take the lead and confront their leader by himself,

but to their surprise namjoon didn't scold them too much. he was brief, told them to don't do stuff like that where people could find them and to be smarter.
"if you're going to keep this up, do it somewhere safe and private", he said and basically walked out on them, didn't even

wait for them to agree. jimin could tell namjoon was annoyed and jungkook was hurt. he knows their maknae, he's sure namjoon's indifference was hurting him but jungkook was an expert on hiding his emotions so he didn’t let it show. but jimin knew. he tried to comfort jungkook

staying by his side the rest of the day.
jungkook wasn't paying attention, he was focused on finishing his job to get the hell out of there, but jimin has always been attentive so he noticed the way taehyung looked at them. he doesn't know what it means but surely it couldn't be

something nice. he wonders if namjoon told him about what happened between him and jungkook. that could be the reason taehyung kept giving them dirty looks. jimin doesn't want to think that's the reason because it just makes him sad. he feels so stupid. as if falling in love with

his best friend wasn't enough, he finds out his best friend doesn't really like the idea of two men being together in the first place. how much hopeless could jimin be?

he finds comfort in jungkook and jungkook finds comfort in jimin so it was bound to happen. they stay close to

each other as if that was the only way they could breathe properly.
that night when they go back home together jimin finds something new building between them. it isn't romantic at all, but it's special and different and jimin can tell jungkook likes it, too. the way their bond

shifted.
jimin is so grateful to have someone like jungkook in his life, someone he can relate to and rely on.
he just wishes the circumstances had been different and not because they both have their hearts broken.

the days keep passing by while taehyung and jimin's friendship stays the same. they don't go back to the way things were before and they don't make any other progress. jimin notices taehyung stops trying to get closer to him again and he lets him. jimin doesn't want to chase him

and he thinks it's for the best. taehyung is in a happy relationship and jimin wants to get over him so spending time with him doesn't help. it isn't easy for jimin to accept it, though. that his relationship with taehyung is broken and none of them can fix it. some days are

easier than others. today is not.
he was awake all night, barely managed to sleep an hour before his alarm went off. he woke up but he didn't have the energy to get up at all. he tried, he really did, but his head was protesting at every single movement. he stayed in bed, hiding

under the blankets, trying to sleep again and being unable to. he knew it was coming, they had morning schedules and he was supposed to be there, so it didn't surprise him when someone knocked on his door. he didn't bother to open and just pretended to be sleeping. a couple of

knocks later, his phone vibrating non-stop and the person behind the door came in.
"jimin, we have to go" that's taehyung's voice. jimin closes his eyes tightly, as if that would make him go away. 'please leave', he thinks. "jimin-ah..." taehyung approaches him and jimin

doesn't have the energy to confront him so he just keeps pretending. jimin is used to taehyung jumping on top of him to wake him up, maybe even slap his ass in the process. he doesn't do any of it. taehyung uncovers him cautiously and then nothing happens for a couple of seconds.

"jiminie, wake up", he speaks again with a soft voice, barely shaking jimin's arm. "we have to go. you don't want to get scolded, right?" taehyung keeps talking in a low tone. jimin doesn't move. he isn't sure if taehyung knows he's awake but he isn't going to risk it.

his best friend stays quiet then. jimin feels taehyung's fingers start pulling his hair out of his face. 'is he watching me sleep?', his heart beats faster.
nothing could've prepared him to feel taehyung place a soft kiss on his forehead. it took him by surprise. jimin lets out a

little gasp and he opens his eyes, locking eyes with taehyung who's frowning at him.
"you have a fever" taehyung places the back of his hand on jimin's forehead, right in the same place he kissed him. "you definitely have a fever" jimin sighs and closes his eyes again.

"why did you kiss me?"
"why were you pretending to be asleep?"
jimin covers himself again, hiding his face. now that taehyung mentioned he has a fever, he notices how his body is sweating. he shivers.
"jimin..."
"i don't feel like talking. leave me alone, please"
jimin hears

taehyung chuckle in a frustrated way and feels a little guilty about it. he shouldn't take his frustration out on him.
"what went wrong with us?" taehyung's question surprises him. jimin doesn't have an answer to that. not one that he can give to taehyung, at least.

what is he supposed to tell him?
'i'm sorry i fell in love with you and i'm too much of a coward to be honest about it. i'm sorry for wondering what would it feel like to kiss you. i'm sorry for not being able to look at you in the eyes because the shame of touching myself while

fantasizing about you makes me feel pathetic and dirty and like i'm taking advantage of you. i'm sorry for being such a fool and falling in love with someone who's never going to reciprocate my feelings'?
he can't say any of that so he says nothing instead. taehyung huffs.

"i'm going to tell the hyungs you have a fever. you shouldn't work if you're sick" jimin stays quiet. there are too many things going on in his mind and he feels so sick, he doesn't want to think about giving an answer. he keeps his eyes closed and listen to taehyung leave.

tw: dehydration, lack of appetite due to depression, jimin gets hospitalized

when jimin wakes up he isn't in his room. he freaks out for a brief second before realizing he's in a hospital. his head hurts badly and his whole body feels heavy. he's scared. jimin can hear his heart

rate going crazy on the monitor.
"hey, jimin, calm down. you're okay, you're okay", sejin gets up from his chair and approaches a startled jimin. he hadn't even seen their manager siting on the corner of the room.
"hyung... what happened? why am i here? what's wrong?" his voice

comes out raspy and he realizes how thirsty he is, his throat is dry. sejin offers him a glass of water and jimin takes it gently.
"you passed out"
"but i was sleeping..."
"that's what we thought, until you wouldn't wake up. you almost scared your hyungs to death, i think all

of them cried" sejin chuckles a little. jimin tries to drink his water but winces when the IV diggs on his arm. he grabs the glass with his other hand and drinks slowly, trying to process everything.
"taehyung told us you had a fever so i went to check up on you and take you to

the hospital. when i got there you were asleep. i woke you up but you told me you felt too sick to get up. i tried to lift you but you didn't let me. you should've listened because as soon as you got out of the bed and started walking, you fainted on me."
jimin closes his eyes

tightly, feeling embarrassed. he doesn't even remember any of it.
"i'm sorry, i should've taken better care of myself, hyung"
sejin doesn't comment on that, he watches jimin play with his fingers nervously and sighs.
"the doctor said you fainted due to dehydration. you also have

anemia" jimin bites his lip. it's part of his job to take proper care of his body and he hasn't been doing so. he feels so guilty. "you didn't faint for long and they're rehydrating you" he points to the iv on his arm. "but you still need to rest and eat, alright?" jimin nods.

what else can he say? he fucked up badly this time and now everyone's going to know he wasn't feeling okay.
sejin takes a seat on the bed and holds jimin's free hand with both of his.
"you had to get tested first, that's why none of the boys are here. they were pissed they

couldn't come with you. taehyung said he'd rather get c0vid than leave you alone, can you believe that?" jimin smiles a little. no matter what's happening between the both of them right now, he would've been as much worried for taehyung too, so he understands.

"also... your therapist called me today" jimin looks away from him, not being able to handle the look in his eyes. "you've been canceling your appointments with her lately. have you been taking your medication?" he just shakes his head, he's too ashamed to speak. sejin sighs.

"jimin, look at me"
the younger boy just shakes his head again. he won't be able to handle the disappointing look on his hyung's face. sejin touches his chin softly, titling his head a little to make jimin look at him. jimin locks eyes with him and doesn't find disappointment in

his eyes but sadness.
"you've been having a hard time, right, jiminie?"
jimin bites his lip. that familiar lump in his throat threatening to make him cry. "it's okay, kid. we should've been paying more attention. i'm sorry for failing you. we all did" jimin shakes his head and

mumbles a broken 'no', and before his tears start falling sejin is already hugging him tightly. jimin clings to the older man and lets himself be embraced.
"i'm sorry, hyung. i don't know what's wrong with me lately"
sejin sighs and separates from him to take a look at his face.

"jimin, please promise me you'll see your therapist again and take your meds. you'll notice things won't be as hard as they are right now once you start taking your medication properly"
"okay. okay, i will, i promise" jimin knows it isn't his manager's intention but he feels

scolded regardless. he sniffs.
"what happened today was just a warning. i'm sure you didn't mean to get to this state but your body is protesting. you need to eat, sleep and drink more water. and with the help of your pills you're going to feel better soon"

jimin chuckles and lets his head fall on the bed. there are tears streaming down his face, still.
"are there any meds for a broken heart?"

luckily jimin's visit to the hospital was short. he left once he finished the iv bag. his case wasn't severe, he barely passed out a couple of minutes and then fell asleep due to fatigue. he was sure his weakened body was caused by depression rather than not eating well enough.

but he wasn't going to talk back to the doctor. he knew he needed to eat better, too, but he just didn't feel hungry. they gave him a new diet to follow and made an appointment with his therapist for tomorrow. if he has to be honest, he doesn't want to do any of those things.

jimin doesn't want to go home either. he doesn't want to be alone there. he convinces sejin to take him to the company where most of his members are after promising he was going to rest later. sejin hesitated but he was aware jimin would have a hard time being left alone

right now, so he ended up taking him to the company.

"jiminie, oh my god!" hoseok screams when he sees him and jimin rolls his eyes, smiling and opening his arms.
"what's up, hyung"
"what do you mean what's up? what are you doing here? aigo... you should be resting right now" he

hugs jimin tightly and pats his back a bit roughly. jimin doesn't complain.
"i'm feeling great, hyung. it wasn't that bad. i want to work" hoseok breaks their embrace and squeezes jimin's cheeks with both of his hands.
"are you sure?" he asks, skeptical.
"yes, i promise. i feel a

lot better. i don't think i'll be able to finish our choreography but at least i can record some demos"
"alright, if you're sure..."
"really, hyung. if i stay home i'll feel worse. trust me on this, okay? i won't push myself, if i feel tired i'll leave"
"okay... no overworking."

"no overworking." jimin promises.

he does spend the rest of the day working but it makes him feel better. his body is protesting a little but he's focused on his recordings, writing melodies and lyrics and he's able to distract his mind from other not so pleasant thoughts. maybe

he isn't taking a break from work but he is taking a break from his inner pain so he's enjoying it while it lasts. he asks namjoon for advice when he needs it, he goes to the cafeteria with hoseok and he spends some time with yoongi, talking about their comeback and tomorrow's

schedules.
when it's time to go home, earlier than the rest of them, he's still a bit reluctant. he hasn't seen taehyung the whole day and he wonders if his friend is somewhere in the company or at home. he doesn't want to see him yet. he's grateful when jungkook texts him.

{jungkook's chat}

{taehyung's chat}

taehyung was in his room waiting for jimin, fidgeting with his fingers while trying to calm down, he had been anxious the whole day. he cried non-stop in the morning because they didn't let him go to the hospital with him. he was so afraid that something serious had happened.

thankfully his managers informed them jimin was fine and nothing serious had happened to him. in a matter of minutes he was almost fully recovered, they said. taehyung kept crying but out of relief. he was so happy jimin was okay but he was still worried for him. he wanted to see

him but his hyungs kept telling him they didn't know where jimin was and taehyung kept missing the chance of talking with him. he went back home thinking jimin would be there but the house was totally empty except for the housemaid, who was surprised to see him home so early.

he's been waiting for him since then and now that jimin was coming back home taehyung was excited to see him. he wanted to hug jimin so bad and just look at him and see for himself that his friend was fine. he thought for a moment if he should prepare him something, a gift to

show how much taehyung missed him, but he discarded it quickly because that would be weird, right? they used to give each other gifts all the time before but now suddenly giving jimin something again would be awkward. he decided to just wait there (not so) patiently. jimin didn't

answer his texts but he didn't think much about it, it was probably because he was distracted. taehyung didn't mind, he just wanted to see him.
it didn't take long before he heard the front door and jimin and jungkook's voices. they were laughing and chatting. taehyung took a

deep breath. he couldn't understand why he was so nervous and anxious, maybe jimin's visit to the hospital had left him shaken but there was a deep need to be with jimin right now, to hold him close and never let him go. it came from the bottom of his heart that aches for him.

taehyung got distracted thinking about what he was supposed to tell jimin to notice the house was quiet again. what was he supposed to tell him? jimin didn't want to talk with him, apparently. so can taehyung just go and confront him and hug him as if nothing was wrong? would

jimin let him? what if he gets rejected? taehyung shakes his head. it doesn't matter if jimin screams at him and tells him to fuck off, he at least wants to see him and confirm with his own eyes that jimin is okay.
taehyung leaves his room and heads to the living room, expecting

to find jimin and jungkook there, but surprisingly it's empty. taehyung frowns. he didn't hear them going upstairs but he supposes they've already gone to sleep. jimin said he was tired anyway. he goes up the stairs, his hands shaking a little, and takes a deep breath when he

reaches jimin's door. he knocks but no one answers. just like he did that morning, he opens the door quietly without too much thought. jimin must be asleep already or maybe he doesn't want to talk, but at this point taehyung just wants to look at him. and he does. but the sight

that welcomes him isn't the one he was expecting.

cw: accidental voyeurism

jimin is on top of jungkook, completely naked. taehyung can't see much because jimin is turning his back to him, but what he sees is enough to understand what's going on. he's quick to close the door,

just as quietly as he opened it. none of them notice taehyung.
he stays frozen in place, with his eyes opened wide in shock and breathing heavily. once again, just like the first time he heard them, taehyung feels like his whole body is burning, the inner turmoil coming back.

jimin moans loudly and taehyung gets startled, the sound sending a chill down his spine, making his whole body tremble. he stumbles on unstable feet back to his room, feeling dizzy.
what's wrong with him?
why is his chest hurting so much? why does he want to take jimin out of

jungkook's grip so bad?
his hands are shaking even more than before, the anxiety persistent in his body. taehyung covers his face with his hands, hiding, trying to calm down.
he already knew about jungkook and jimin but why does it hurt?
taehyung doesn't own him. jimin can do

whatever he wants with his body. so why does it bother him so much?
"i'm being a selfish prick right now"
taehyung hates it. he had spent a lot of time trying to get rid of the images and sounds that kept plaguing his mind after listening to them in the bathroom just for these to

come back twice as strong. it feels wrong, all of it. he can't think of jimin that way. he has a girlfriend and he loves her and jimin is just a friend. fuck. jimin is probably dating jungkook.
taehyung hits his head softly with his fist, as if that could stop his mind from

having such thoughts.
he can't allow himself to be attracted to jimin. that's wrong in so many levels. it just can't happen.
he reaches for his phone and goes straight to jihyun's chat, almost desperate to have a distraction.

{jihyun's chat pt. 1}

{jihyun's chat pt. 2}

when their video call ended taehyung found himself naked and with his hand dirty. he tried to convince himself his arousal was caused by watching his girlfriend strip down for him, even though his mind was assaulting him with images of his best friend, too. he tried to focus on

her but his mind kept wandering to what was happening in jimin's room every time he closed his eyes. he came while looking at jihyun finger herself and squirt in front of the camera, she was making sure he could watch everything explicitly. it gave him the relief he was needing

but it was only momentary. when they hung up taehyung placed his phone on the nightstand, he cleaned his hand and after taking a deep breath he started crying.
he couldnt fool himself anymore, he was attracted to jimin and it was driving him insane. no matter how hard he tried to

avoid thinking of him, he couldn't do it. he tried to love jihyun, he really did, he wanted to find a woman to marry and have kids with. that has always been his dream. but everything feels out of place.
as if up until now taehyung had made all the wrong decisions.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

HI! i decided to write the jikook smut scene for those who wanted to read it but in a different format, so those who didn't want to read it can skip it easily! the smut scene is going to be posted on the next two tweets and then we continue on jimin's pov!
thanks for reading 🌻💚

{jikook fun times pt. 1}

{jikook fun times pt. 2}

jimin wakes up and his whole body hurts. he groans and turns around, only to be met with jungkook's sleeping face.
"ugh..." he shoves him until jungkook wakes up confused. "you asshole"
"what- what the fuck, what's going on?" he mumbles sleepily, rubbing his eyes.
"my whole body

hurts and it's hour fault. i hate you"
jungkook bursts out laughing, right on jimin's face. "fuck you" jimin curses at him, making jungkook laugh harder. "get up! bring me something for the pain!"
"yes, yes, i'm sorry, sorry" jungkook gets up, still chuckling. he dresses up but

before leaving he stands awkwardly next to the bed.
"what are you waiting for?" jimin throws his pillow at him. jungkook catches it effortlessly.
"would it be weird to kiss you? like, i'm supposed to? because-"
"yes? it would be very weird, get out of here" jungkook sighs,

relieved. jimin laughs at it. he can't believe how cute his dongsaeng is.
"okay, yeah, that's cool. just making sure we're on the same page"
"and what would that be?" jimin asks just to bother him, he already knows what jungkook means but it's fun to watch him struggle to voice

his thoughts for once. he looks so cute when he's embarrassed.
"you know, like, we don't have romantic feelings for each other, right?" when jimin doesn't answer and just looks at him, jungkook panics. "you don't have romantic feelings for me, right? hyung?"

"of course i don't! i'm literally in love with taehyung" jungkook seems shocked at his confession. "what? you already knew that..."
"yeah. it's just, it's the first time i've heard you admitting it out loud"
"oh"
"and i'm in love with namjoon"
jimin almost chokes with laughter,

his body protesting in pain.
"you're so adorable, oh my god"
"stop laughing at me! i thought we were like, confessing or something"
"just, please, bring me some pain killers, can you" jimin gets comfortable in his bed again, a radiant smile on his face. jungkook makes him happy.

"yeah, sorry, be right back" his dongsaeng looks like he's going on an important mission when he's heading for the door. jimin chuckles to himself. he can't deceive his heart, but for a brief second, he wishes he could be in love with jungkook instead and vice-versa. a lot of

things would be much easier.

jungkook brings back an exaggerating amount of pain killers, two bottles of water and plenty of snacks. he tells jimin he has to leave already so he must eat everything he left him. they both know jimin isn't going to eat all of it but the gesture

is cute.
jimin is still naked on his bed, eating his snacks and watching anime when he gets a notification reminding him of today's appointment with his therapist. this time he confirms he'll be attending. he sighs. he can't run away from his problems forever.
jimin goes to take

a shower and get ready for the day.
when he's dressed up he goes straight to the kitchen to get some breakfast.
"jimin!" seokjin exclaims when he sees him. "how are you doing today, are you feeling better?"
"yes. i'm feeling great. just hungry"
"i'll make you something"

"hyung, that's not necessary-"
"shush, let hyung make this for you" jimin sighs and sits on the kitchen table. their hyungs love to take care of him, jungkook and taehyung, but sometimes it makes jimin feel like he doesn't deserve it. jimin does his best to take care of them too,

but sometimes it doesn't feel like he does enough. he hasn't been taking care of himself these days so how could he do it with his hyungs?
"stop thinking so loud or i'll kick you out of the kitchen" seokjin warns him with a playful tone. "you deserve to be taken care of whenever

you're having a hard time, okay? you always do a lot for us, you have to let us take care of you from time to time. don't be so hard on yourself"

"how did you know i was thinking about that..." jimin mumbles embarrassed.
"because hyung knows you and loves you"
"ah, hyung..." seokjin laughs at jimin's embarrassed face. at least his dongsaeng is smiling now.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

"jimin-ssi, please come in. it's been a while"
jimin steps into the room. he is aware he shouldn't be nervous in front of his therapist. they're supposed to have built a trust relationship by now but jimin is scared of facing her and therefore, his feelings. he takes a seat on

the couch.
"it's nice to see you again. you've been skipping our appointments, that's why today's meeting is in person instead of virtually" she clarifies. jimin nods. he figured that out.
"i'm sorry..."
"you don't have to be. lie down on the couch, get yourself comfortable"

dr jo starts their conversation with easy topics. he asks jimin what he's been doing these days, about the band, the members, his schedules. she softly prepares him for the tough topics jimin doesn't want to talk about.
"kim sejin-ssi informed me about your hospitalization. how

are you feeling now?"
"better" jimin responds genuinely "i had some bad days... but i'm feeling better now. i think it had been so long since the last time i felt like this that my body couldn't handle it. i got so used to my happiness that i forgot i could also feel this way"

"what way?" she asks softly. jimin gulps.
"lost. terribly sad? depressed. i guess" he takes a deep breath and shifts on the sofa, trying to get more comfortable. "sometimes i feel like there's a deep void inside of my chest and no matter how much i love and how much other people

love me, it continues to be empty. it makes me panic. makes me wonder if that kind of pain is something i'll just have to endure for the rest of my life" dr jo hyojin hums and takes notes. it makes jimin nervous and it didn't use to before.
"the kind of life that you lead is more

complicated than the regular one. people suffer in different ways, for different reasons. something that causes you pain could be something someone else doesn't care about and feels nothing about and on the contrary, the pain you're bearing right now could be devastating for

others and lead them to make tragic decisions. your career has left a mark on you. some of it is good and some of it, isn't. what i mean with this is that there are things you have to learn how to deal with that regular people don't. to give a simple example, stalking and

harassment. these are horrible acts that happen to you almost on a daily basis that shouldn't be happening and you've dealt with them for such a long time that it would be weird if one day they just stopped happening, right?"
"yes. it would be a good thing if they stopped

happening but it would make me feel uneasy, too..."
"it's the same with your feelings and thoughts. you've created a pattern that it's hard to break. since a young age you've dealt with intrusive and depressive thoughts and the amount of pressure and seek of perfection your

career puts on you helped to internalize most of these unrealistic demands you punish yourself with for not meeting. you don't allow yourself to be happy because you feel like you don't deserve it. that's why you keep having relapses. it's a hard pattern to break but it isn't

imposible. we just have to work on it. having relapses is a normal thing, too, so don't feel bad about it. have you noticed some kind of trigger, a situation that made you fall on this spiral, or a word?"
"i don't know if it was a trigger but something did happen that made my

condition worsen..."
"do you want to share that with me?" jimin took a deep breath and started playing with his fingers. he couldn't form the words. "take your time" he did. he went back to the first day since he started feeling worse and it was obvious what had caused it. it

was embarrassing to admit, though.
"my friend, taehyung. he started avoiding me. i mean, he didn't avoid me, i guess. he just started hanging out with other people and he has a girlfriend now, so he didn't have time for me. i was so used to have his company all the time that it

made me feel sad to lose that"
"did you feel like he was replacing you?"
"yes. i felt discarded as if i was some piece of broken glass" dr jo hums again while she takes notes.
"i'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you. he was probably too absorbed on his new group of friends and his

girlfriend to notice it, but it was still very irresponsible on his end. you had a routine with him, one of your happy patterns, and by breaking that he destabilized you" jimin nods.
"he's the most loving person in the world. he didn't do it on purpose. and i hadn't noticed how

safe he made me feel until i didn't have him anymore" jimin feels a lump on his throat like every time he thinks about it. he doesn't want to cry anymore, though. "i guess it's true that you don't know what you've got until you lose it"

"you told me he made you feel replaced. did that make you feel insecure?"
"i don't know if insecure is the right word. i just felt sadness. i also realized..." he stops and bites his lip.
"what did you realize?", she prompts. it takes jimin a couple of seconds, but he says it.

"i realized i'm in love with him" it feels a lot better after acknowledging the elephant in the room. jo hyojin smiles reassuringly.
"i understand. that must have been scary"
"it's terrifying" jimin corrects. "for starters, he has a girlfriend, he's my friend and bandmate

and he doesn't love me back the same way, at all. oh, and he's a man. i mean, i don't care about that but apparently he does. he saw me and jungkook... he looked disgusted. our friendship was already going through some bumps and i had to fall in love with him to make it even more

awkward. i am terrified of losing him forever after this"
"jimin-ssi, first of all, you're aware that falling in love with him isn't your fault, right? you can't punish yourself for the way your friendship and feelings have shifted" jimin closes his eyes and sighs, trying to

internalize her words and remind himself that it's true.
"yes, i know... but i can't help but feel that if i wasn't in love with him i would be able to adapt to this shift more easily. i guess it was inevitable. we were too attached, spent everyday together and shared every

single little thing about the other, but i can't expect it to be like this forever. taehyung always wanted to settle down, to find the perfect woman for him and have lots of kids and it was always going to be my role to stay as the loving uncle. it was unrealistic to expect us to

stay so close forever, and that's also..." he clears his throat when his voice breaks, picturing taehyung in the future with his wife and kids, playing together. "that's also heartbreaking for me. i feel terrible and selfish because i want to be happy for him but the only feeling

left in my heart is longing" dr jo doesn't acknowledge jimin's tears when they start falling and jimin feels grateful for that.
"all your feelings are valid, jimin-ssi, please remember that. you have to allow yourself to feel everything you feel right now, don't try to repress

it because otherwise it's going to blow up and we don't want that, right?" when jimin nods, dr jo continues. "let's part with the fact that you can't force yourself to fall out of love, that isn't possible. what you can do though is learn how to embrace this feeling. i know right

now it causes more pain than anything else, but it's also possible for you to love him without hurting. love is a precious thing and it's unconditional. you might have romantic feelings for him now but that doesn't change the fact that you've always loved him and you'll keep

loving him in the future, too. i'm sure he loves you, too. and that's already a beautiful thing. people are always changing and with them their feelings and perception of things. that only means that having romantic feelings for him could also change at any time. you need to try

to love him without asking anything in return, so when your love changes again, it won't be too difficult for you to get back to the way things used to be" jimin lets that sink in and keeps to himself the sudden thought of not wanting to go back to the way things used to be,

because now he wants taehyung in his life in a very different way, the we should be the ones having kids and living happily because we make such a perfect couple kind of way, and he doesn't know if he's ready to give that up just yet, even if clinging to that possibility seems

absurd. he isn't even sure taehyung likes men and by the way things look, he doesn't. dr jo brings him back from his thoughts with another question.
"what happened between you and jungkook?" jimin blushes.
"we find comfort in the other. we don't have romantic feelings for

each other but our sexual chemistry is great. we are going through the same thing so... i love him, he's my dear friend, and we help each other a lot. i would've lost my mind by now if i didn't have him. he's also helping me explore my sexuality and find out the things i like.

i- i had my first time with him, actually. it was lovely and i'm really grateful it's been with him"
"that's great, jimin-ssi. i'm glad you've found comfort in him. you said he's going through the same thing as you, is he in love with someone else?" jimin smiles bitterly at that.

"yeah, he's always been in love with our namjoon hyung. jungkook had sex with him but namjoon thought it was just the heat of the moment type of sex. it didn't mean anything to him but it meant the world to jungkook. he's devastated about it but nobody knows it happened. to

namjoon hyung it wasn't important enough to talk about it with anyone, or maybe it was just too personal. he started dating jongbeom hyung after and jungkook has been heartbroken ever since. what we do together... it's just because we like it and find comfort in it, nothing else"

"it's important that you two talk about what's going on, though. just to avoid any kind of miscommunication and make sure none of you are using sex to avoid facing your feelings. sex as a coping mechanism can be really damaging" jimin stays quiet, thinking about it. it hadn't

crossed his mind that he could be using sex as a coping mechanism.
"i don't feel like that's what i'm doing but i should reflect on it and speak with jungkookie about it. i hadn't thought that far but it's true that our sexual relationship started when i was feeling down..."

jimin frowns, starts playing with his fingers again, nervous.
"just because it started now doesn't mean it isn't genuine, but that's something you have to reflect on and talk with jungkook-ssi. maybe you aren't using it as a coping mechanism but he is, and that means he's

going to get hurt if you were to stop in the future. that's why it's important to set boundaries, limits, and be clear on how you guys are feeling about it" jimin hums, understanding.
"for me it allows me to explore my sexuality and since it's jungkook... it's easy? it would be

too much trouble to try and engage with someone else, whether they're strangers or friends. i noticed i was attracted to men when i realized my feelings for taehyung... which also caused me a lot of curiosity and being with jungkook helped with that. he makes me feel really good.

i'm always happy when i'm with my members... so this adds just another layer to our relationship, i guess. but i'm not dependent on sex, or jungkook, to feel good right now"
they keep talking for another half an hour. about what makes him feel to start discovering his sexuality,

about jimin's friends outside of the band, about jimin missing his father a lot. about what does jimin want to focus on right now on this stage of his life. he says "bangtan. always. i want to focus on them and being happy. we still have a long way to go". which makes him recover

some sense of stability he had lost the past weeks.
jimin thanks dr jo for her time and apologizes again for canceling their appointments. she informs him his psychiatrist will prescribe him with a higher dosis he has to complement with a good diet to avoid feeling sleepy during

the day or without enough energy. jimin doesn't want to take a higher dose of antidepressants but she encourages him to do it now so in the future they can lower the dose if he starts feeling better and so he ends up agreeing, albeit reluctantly.
when jimin leaves, his bodyguard

is waiting for him to take him to the hybe building. jimin feels great after speaking with his therapist and makes a pact with himself to never skip his appointments again. he's in a good mood but there are still a lot of things he has to reflect on that are plaguing his mind.

▪︎▪︎▪︎
taehyung was granted permission to hang out with his girlfriend but only at night. jihyun complained a lot about it but taehyung convinced her they could still visit a lot of places. it was too difficult to sneak up in the middle of the day and they would have to go

with at least three bodyguards. now they had only one bodyguard accompanying them and he was keeping a decent distance.
they visited most of jihyun's favorite places and he bought her clothes and jewelry because it made her happy. some of the store's personal recognized him but

they were warned by his bodyguard to not take any pics or videos, or talk about it on the internet because otherwise they could get sued. taehyung knew he was risking too much but he wanted to keep jihyun happy by taking her out.
they ended up ordering food to take back home and

went to jihyun's apartment.
"i'm so glad your bodyguard can't follow us here" she says while they are setting up the table.
"he's just taking care of us" jihyun rolls her eyes at taehyung's comment.
"yes, yes, i know. let's eat?"
"sure..." taehyung smiles at her but she doesn't

smile back.
when they're done having dinner jihyun goes to the bathroom and comes back wearing only lingerie and a silk robe. taehyung's taken aback. he wasn't expecting them to have sex tonight.
"uh..."
"you like it? i bought them for you" she poses for him, showing off her

black set. she looks outstanding.
"yes, i love it. this is..." he's a little confused. he's obviously attracted to her but he didn't come to her place to have sex tonight.
"let's go to my room, baby. or do you want it here?" at taehyung's lack of response, she grabs his hand and

starts dragging him to the room.

×××××××
content warning: dubious consent, the f slur is used. im not going to censor it bc i'm gay but pls remember to not use it 😬 this update gets a little heavy so pls take care of yourself first! thank youu 🌻💚
×××××××

taehyung lets her. it's like he's on autopilot. there's something about it that's making him feel weird but he can't figure out what. when she undresses him, he doesn't complain. taehyung likes her so his body reacts but his mind is a step behind. maybe he just wasn't in the

mood but he tries to be. he wants her to be happy with him and he knows he hasn't been too attentive lately so he tries to own up to it. he's distracted though. when they're both finally naked and he's inside of her it feels uncomfortable and wrong. he goes soft and feels

extremely embarrassed about it.
"i'm sorry, i must be really tired..." he covers himself with the bedsheets. jihyun frowns at him.
"what's up with you? you've been acting weird"
"what?"
she huffs and taehyung feels really bad, he feels so ashamed his ears and chest are bright red

"are you seeing someone else? is that why you don't feel attracted to me?"
"what? no! i feel attracted to you..."
"it doesn't look like it" she looks down to the bedsheets where taehyung's covering himself. he tries to speak, tries to explain what happened. the reason he didn't

say no was exactly because he didn't want jihyun to feel rejected and like he didn't want her, but she interrupts him. "i've noticed the way you space out when we have sex. i know you don't only think about me. who else are you fucking?"
"that's not- i'm not fucking anybody

else, i- noona-"
"you can tell me, i won't get mad, i'll make sure you forget all about her" she gets closer to him again and taehyung feels the need to get himself clothed.
"i don't have sex with other people. i- i'm sorry" taehyung can't help but apologize to her because he did

think about someone else when he had sex with jihyun and that makes him feel guilty.
"what are you apologizing for?"
"i did think about someone but it isn't like you think, we haven't been together at all, i swear, and i know it's wrong, jimin's-" taehyung covers his mouth

when he slips the name.
"jimin? your bandmate?" she sounds scandalized. "are you a faggot?" jihyun suddenly gets away from him, as if he was a plague. taehyung feels his heart sinking.
"no! that's not- i'm sorry, okay? i'm trying to fix it..."
"you are going to fix it, you

hear me? i can't be dating a faggot, that's humiliating" jihyun covers her face with one of his hands. "i knew that dude was weird but to lead you on like this and seduce you? he's probably a whore"
taehyung knew he made a mistake the moment jimin's name slipped from his mouth,

he was way too honest and he didn't want to lie to her. but the moment jihyun called jimin a whore he instantly regretted it. it's the first time he feels anger towards her.
"don't speak about him like that" his tone is final, brows furrowed.
the fact that jihyun could

think about jimin that way hurt him deeply. jimin was someone taehyung loved and respected and he couldn't stand anyone speaking ill of him. "you can get mad at me but leave jimin out of this, he hasn't done anything to you. if you want to get mad you should get mad at me"

"so what, are you going to deny it? he's probably fucked all of you already, hasn't he? he's always looked like he wanted to be a woman. he must have deceived you. you know this isn't normal, right? you weren't a faggot before"
"i can't believe you're saying all this"
taehyung

turns around and grabs his clothes. he starts dressing up quickly. he needs to get out of the apartment, it's starting to suffocate him.
"where are you going, are you crazy?" she jumps out of the bed, still naked, and grabs taehyung's arm so he's facing her. "if you leave right

now we're done, kim taehyung"
that makes taehyung hesitate. he loves her but he can't let her speak about jimin like that, that's unacceptable.
"you crossed the line. you're speaking about my friend"
"do you like him that much, more than me?" she squeezes taehyung's arm tighter,

sinking her nails on the skin. "are you dating park jimin or me? i should be your top priority!"
taehyung breaks free from her grip, taking a step back.
"i'm dating you but i'm not recognizing the woman i love"
jihyun gasps at that, unable to reply anything. taehyung storms out

of the room and grabs all his belongings from the living room. right when he's about to leave through the door, jihyun speaks behind him.
"i'm sorry, okay?"
taehyung turns around to face her. she's wearing a pink silk robe.
"don't leave me" jihyun steps closer to him and grabs

his hand. taehyung avoids looking at her. "you can't expect me to react well when you just confessed to me that you think about a man when having sex with me"
"it happened once or twice because i- i'm... really confused. i'm so sorry"
"don't worry, we can fix it together, okay?"

she smiles encouragingly, and starts dragging him inside again. taehyung closes the door behind him and for a brief second, he feels trapped.
"i don't want us to fight over this stupid little thing. i'm sorry i said that about your friend, i was just mad and felt humiliated"

taehyung hangs his head low, it's his fault she's feeling that way. he's the worst boyfriend ever. he hasn't had a lot of relationships but he wants to do it right.
"let's try to get him out of your head, okay? kiss me" when they kiss taehyung feels uncomfortable, but he guesses

it's guilt. he fucked up really bad after all.
"i don't deserve you" he murmurs next to her lips, and gives a little peck. she laughs softly.
"who else would've accepted that? just me. you know that, right? it's because i love you so much" they kiss again, too much tongue and too

wet but they like it that way.
at some point she starts caressing his crotch and taehyung doesn't complain. when her hand is in taehyung's boxer, he doesn't complain. neither when she dropps to her knees. because he loves her and jihyun is the only one that should be on his mind.

▪︎▪︎▪︎
it's the first time taehyung feels self-conscious after having sex with his girlfriend. he comes back to their dorm craving a shower and feeling guilty.
he enters quietly. it's like 2 o'clock already and they're probably sleeping. he should be sleeping, too.

he takes off his shoes and puts on his slippers. he wants to change his clothes badly. when he raises his head he spots jimin on the living room, looking at him surprised.
"hi" taehyung greets him a little hesitant. jimin is wrapped in a yellow blanket, like he's trying to get

swallowed by it. it reminds taehyung of serendipity's mv, just that this time jimin has black hair instead of blonde.
"hi" jimin greets him back.
taehyung approaches him and sits next to him. he feels a wave of sadness engulfing him. taehyung isn't sure if it comes from jimin or

himself but it makes him gulp.
jimin isn't looking at him, he looks immersed on his thoughts and barely acknowledges him. taehyung gets lost on his profile, on his pretty nose and lips, his cute and tired eyes. he wants to hug him so bad.
"jimin-ah" taehyung calls. jimin looks at

him again, then. taehyung's never been looked at like this before. it takes his breath away. jimin looks at him with so much love in his eyes and such fragility that taehyung feels like crying.
"taehyungie" jimin cups his friend's cheek on his hand, frowning. "what's wrong?"

taehyung doesn't see it coming. maybe it's because the moment feels too tender and fragile, maybe because he had a long day or maybe it's just because he hadn't realized how much he actually missed jimin until he was this close to him again, sharing the same space. fitting. maybe

he's just sensitive after what happened with jihyun and the way she called jimin. taehyung feels like he's failed him, too. somehow.
so, taehyung doesn't know what triggers it but when the tears start falling he welcomes them.
jimin opens his eyes wide in shock and takes his

hand away from taehyung's face, making him miss the warm immediately and start crying harder. jimin is stunned, taken aback and at a loss of words. he stays frozen in place.
"can i hug you, please?" taehyung asks with a broken voice. jimin curses at himself.

"fuck, yes, of course you can. come here, baby"
taehyung hugs him first and jimin is quick to embrace him. he wonders if jimin can smell his cologne mixed with jihyun's and the smell of their sex. that just makes him cry louder.
"i'm sorry" taehyung apologizes. "i'm sorry"

taehyung feels indescribably dirty. he feels like he should've stood up for jimin more. maybe he shouldn't have let jihyun fuck him after she called jimin a whore. jihyun claimed she could make taehyung forget all about jimin, but maybe taehyung didn't want her to.

jimin was still trying to compose himself. he caressed taehyung's hair and tried to calm him down but the younger boy kept apologizing and crying on jimin's neck as if that was the most secure spot in the whole world. jimin doesn't understand what he's apologizing for but he

allows taehyung to let it all out. it's the first time jimin's heard him cry so shattered, it makes his heart break.
jimin closes his eyes when he feels himself starting to tear up and clings to taehyung tighter. he wonders if taehyung broke up with his girlfriend, or maybe they

had a huge fight. he knows taehyung comes from jihyun's place. he wants to ask 'what did she do to you?' but keeps it to himself.
"it's okay, baby, it's okay" he says instead.
"i miss you so much" taehyung clings to him like his life depends on it after admitting that, as if

jimin would run away from him at the first opportunity. jimin bites his lip and doesn't reply, his heart starts beating like crazy.
"i-"
"it's okay, if you don't miss me" taehyung sniffs and jimin can say he's pouting for the way he speaks. thankfully he's starting to calm down.

"i do. i miss you too. how could i not miss my best friend, hm?" taehyung lets out a pitiful whine and starts crying again, making jimin chuckle and sniff, his own tears starting to fall.
"i- i'm the worst best friend ever"

"i am, too" jimin admits easily. "but i'm not letting you go"

that night jimin makes a decision. he'd been thinking about it, not sure if he should give up on taehyung before even trying or start trying till his heart bleeds out. maybe it's having taehyung in his arms what makes

the decision for him. or his soft breathing when he falls asleep on top of jimin. he isn't sure. what he's one hundred percent sure about is that having taehyung wrapped in his arms feels right. he's never felt more certain about anything in his life before.
taehyung feels right.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

jimin wakes up and it's still night. his neck hurts since he fell asleep in an uncomfortable position. taehyung is curled up next to him, sleeping peacefully. jimin untangles himself from his grip, being careful to not wake him up, and grabs his phone from the

coffee table. 4:31. fuck. he feels so tired but he was so uncomfortable he woke up. he doesn't want taehyung to sleep on the couch either so he decides to take him to the bed. jimin doesn't bother trying to wake him up, he just stands up, stretches a little to make sure he's

properly awake, and squats down to lift taehyung up. he doesn't wake up at first. it's when jimin is going up the stairs that taehyung starts mumbling.
"what- what are you doing" he murmurs sleepily, like he's only half awake. one of his hands clutches to jimin's shirt on his

shoulder.
"taking you to your room. the couch is really uncomfortable. your body would hurt later" taehyung doesn't respond so jimin thinks he's fallen asleep again. it's when they reach taehyung's door that jimin feels his neck starting to get wet again.
"tae? are you crying?"

taehyung sniffs softly and it makes jimin laugh, endeared. "why are you crying, baby?"
"you're so nice" it's taehyung's only response. jimin takes a shaky breath. he asks him to open the door for him and taehyung obeys quietly. when they're inside he drops taehyung on the bed.

taehyung has his eyes closed already, dozing off, but his hand travels to jimin's wrist and squeezes weakly.
"stay"
"okay" jimin nods, and waits for him to fall asleep again to start tucking him in. jimin drags his fingers through taehyung's hair and just watches him sleep for a

couple or seconds. jimin wonders what could be troubling him so much. what happened in jihyun's house that caused taehyung to have a breakdown like this. it was very uncommon of him and jimin knows that even if he was crying for a variety of reasons, there must have been

something that triggered him in jihyun's place to cause a reaction so big. it isn't like taehyung never cried, he was actually very emotional but it's the first time jimin's heard him cry so devastatingly. he wonders if all this time taehyung was hiding his pain just like he was.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

the days pass after that night and none of them bring it up. taehyung because he's embarrassed and jimin because he doesn't want to make taehyung uncomfortable. he does want to ask but taehyung keeps talking to jihyun and about her to the other members so he guesses

they figured things out.
even if they don't talk about it, things do change. taehyung starts being clingy again, like a little pup.
the first time he went up to jimin and just grabbed his hand, jimin felt all the air abandon his lungs. he stared at taehyung with surprise but the

younger didn't look back at him. his head was cast down and it didn't look like he wanted to talk about it. they used to hold hands just for the sake of it but this time it felt like taehyung was asking to be held. there was more to it. jimin didn't understand but he didn't let

go of taehyung's hand during the rest of the day.
there were more occurrences like that. taehyung would appear out of nowhere asking for affection and jimin would give it to him. he wanted to ask if there was something going on but taehyung never looked like he was willing to

talk.
jimin on the other hand was a little better. he kept going to therapy and taking his meds. some days felt shittier than others but nothing compared to the depressive pit he had fallen into before. he had to admit that taking pills helped him a lot. even though jimin felt

tired and sleepy sometimes during the day, his mind was in a better state regardless. his therapist helped him and always asked the right questions for jimin to figure things out. he was really thankful for that. dr jo's advice was to take it easy and be gentle with himself.

jimin wouldn't stop loving taehyung in a day, it was a process that took time, so he was trying to learn how to live with it without hurting himself or taehyung in the process.
it was hard.
every day taehyung was close to him but jimin kept finding it impossible to reach out,

and that hurt him a lot.
jimin can't stop thinking about how right it felt when taehyung was wrapped in his arms, his warm body almost on top of his because taehyung had fallen asleep. it was like a fever dream. something that couldn't be true. that's how jimin thought about it.

it made him want to fight for him. to take him from jihyun and keep taehyung to himself. but jimin knew those were selfish and unhealthy impulses. and the most important part, taehyung didn't even like him like that so what was the point? taehyung would probably just hate him.

now that jimin wasn't so lost in his own mind he was more perceptive. he paid close attention to his members and realized he wasn't the only one having a hard time. he wished he had noticed sooner the way namjoon's eyes didn't have the same spark, or the way taehyung had

gotten quieter and quieter or the way jungkook, who was always positive and making them laugh, stopped smiling that much.
something was wrong. the rest of the members had noticed as well. jimin can tell for the way seokjin pays close attention to namjoon and takes him to the

balcony to have a chat, or the way hobi clings to jungkook every chance he can and tries to make him smile. and taehyung... taehyung? jimin knows he looks fine and the members probably think he's quieter because he's always on his phone speaking with his girlfriend but jimin

knows better. jimin knows taehyung. he can tell something is wrong. it's in the way his eyes look sad and tired, gloomy. he doesn't look happy. jimin wonders if maybe he's projecting, if maybe he's so desperate he wants taehyung to not be happy with jihyun, but he knows that

isn't true. it's just his mind playing tricks to make jimin hate himself so he tries to ignore it, he really does, because he only wants the best for taehyung and there's nothing truer than that deep in his heart.
but what if taehyung isn't happy with jihyun anymore? what then?

jimin guesses there's only one way to know and that's asking taehyung himself about it. jimin doesn't know anything about his relationship with jihyun, after all. he tiptoes around his best friend for days before he gathers the courage to sit down with him and talk. he just hopes

taehyung doesn't turn him down.

{kim taehyung's chat}