THREAD: Who are Modern Britain’s Key Median Voters?
When politicians seek out tips from Britain’s top pollsters they are often advised to tailor their campaigns to appeal to archetypes of average voters like the famous Mondeo Man. But who are those key voters in today’s Britain?
Gig Economy Man
Generational term for males employed in digital white collar professions referring to their App-based cultural milieu, though some may work ‘gigs’. Is ‘extremely online’ and regularly checks the latest political news on his news Apps. Interested in the blockchain
Netflix Woman
Middle to lower income woman in 20s or 30s based in London or other large city who frequently watches Netflix or another major streaming service like Disney Plus or Amazon Prime. Generally disinterested in politics but may be passionate about social justice causes
Mixed Race Devonshire Man
Middle Class mixed race man earning between £30K and £65K PA by selling spoken word poetry or mixtapes based in major towns in Devonshire like Plymouth or Exeter. Owns 10+ books. Has been in a Question Time audience. Voted Remain in the EU Referendum
Mondeo Boy
Son of the famous Mondeo Man, based in Essex, Kent and surrounding areas. Working to Lower Middle Class. Typically obsessed with Ford Mondeos and collects Ford Mondeo Memorabilia. Aspires to own a Ford Mondeo and often shares Ford Mondeo themed content on Social Media
Disabled Bedfordshire Woman
Home Counties based disabled women afflicted by conditions like Long Covid, Fibromyalgia, Lyme Disease or general anxiety. Has at least one child who has attended a Top 30 University. Owns a property worth more than £650,000 and worries about Climate
Bradford Bob
Perennial white working class bellwether demo employed in a trade and living in a Northern former industrial city. In recent years though this archetype has expanded to encompass the new multiethnic working class. Either strongly opposes or supports immigration
Wandsworth Woman who uses ‘TikTok’
Lower income woman based in Wandsworth or surrounds, often an ethnic minority, who uses the popular app ‘TikTok’ frequently. Parties seeking to attract this kind of voter should ensure that they field strong ‘TikTok’-centric election campaigns
Warsaw Man
Middle-income Polish man typically living in Warsaw or another major Polish city like Krakow or Wrocław. May have worked for a time in the UK but if not has at least received remittance payments from the UK. Strongly opposes the smoking ban and House of Lords Reform
Syrian Migrant Living in Orkney
Muslim migrant or refugee based in Orkney or other Scottish Islands. One of typically five refugee families in his constituency. Poor grasp of the English language and no strong opinions on Scottish devolution or independence so a key swing voter
Squid Game Man
Man who is a fan of the hit Korean TV show ‘Squid Game’. Typically in 20s living in a London commuter town earning between £20K and £40K PA but also a phenomenon near other metropolitan centres like Bristol or Manchester. Doesn’t speak Korean. Often votes Labour
Hereford Dog
Dog based primarily in Hereford but also in the surrounding English and Welsh counties. Strongly opposed to HS2 and would support a carbon tax. Barks at Postmen and would bark at Deliveroo drivers if they delivered in his constituency. Can’t vote because he is a dog
Eritrean Orphan Boy
Eritrean orphan based in Eritrea or surrounds. Currently has no plans to leave Eritrea but may have to in the future as a Climate Refugee because of Climate Change. Not a UK Citizen and also a child so can’t vote in UK elections. Can’t find Britain on a map
>swiss think immigration is too high
>propose referendum to limit immigration
>government accepts proposals
>holds referendum to limit immigration
>limit immigration vote wins
>government limits immigration
>central issue of C21st western politics instantly solved
>it’s that easy x.com/polymarket/sta…
This is not vote to ‘instantly kill all newborn babies that increase the population to 10,000,001’, more ‘take policy steps to ensure the population does not increase inordinately’ ie de facto reduce immigration. Referendum will be big test for migration restrictionists in Europe
Technocratic Basically Fineism so sophisticated and pragmatic that it has the incredible foresight to hold this referendum while Switzerland is still Basically Fine
Very normal thing for an American to care deeply about with no ulterior motives. Instantly joins the pantheon of ‘Most American Quotes Ever Made’ by the great American political figures
Search ‘Mahajanapadas’, axial age Indian republics governed by non-monarchical republican assemblies. You can trace direct intellectual genealogy from these states to the foundation of the American republic; Franklin, Jefferson and Adams etc said they were their main inspiration
Sounds like I am making this up but I remember sitting under the tree the Buddha attained enlightenment under and realising in my head that because of many of my experiences in India (and elsewhere) I had been radicalised into having a much more pessimistic view of ‘human nature’
Has been suggested Buddhism evolved as an elaborate mental cope for Sensitive Young Brahmins and Kshatriyas having to live in the kinds of conditions you often find in a place like India
Few years ago now when I was India I used to use public transport to travel the long distances between cities - buses, trains etc. Was rarely a pleasant experience because there was always some kind of low-level of dysfunctionality but it was still mostly tolerable if you didn’t mind pissing into a bottle. Occasionally would have bad trips though, worst was between the holy city of Varanasi (where Shiva established the cosmic centre of the universe) and the holy city of Bodh Gaya (where the Buddha attained Enlightenment)
Had been in Varanasi, by the Ganges, for a few days. Depending on who you ask the Ganges is either the embodiment of the Goddess Ganga or a de facto open sewer where burnt corpses and human waste wash over the worshipers who wade into the river to pray and bathe. (Seeing actual human corpses being burnt in front of your eyes on the ghats is a strange experience, can talk more about that another time though. Won’t forget the sight anyway - didn’t expect human bodies to burn quite like that ie extremities first, torso last)
After I left my hotel had a bumpy 30 minute tuk tuk ride through honking, swerving traffic to an intersection near the bus station where a flyover had recently collapsed, trapping and crushing many people. A lot of people dead. Driver stopped near the rubble and said oh you have to walk 2 minutes down this road to get to the bus station. It seemed a lot with a heavy bag but still doable. Turned out I had to walk 20 minutes along a dirty roadside and of course there were loud honking horns, people shouting at me etc along the way. Was very hot, really wanted to punch someone
I get to the bus station sweating, agitated and tired and ask “Sasaram, Sasaram”. (City where I wanted to go first.) People just shake their head. Walk around for 15 minutes and people keep saying no, no. Eventually a tuk tuk driver comes up to me and asks if I need a tuk tuk. I ask if the Sasaram bus is nearby and he says other side of town, back the way I came. We go back down exactly the same road, even driving along the road right next to the hotel I had stayed. Another 15 minutes to get to a muddy field where the buses go to Sasaram. Note - reason I wanted to go to Sasaram and not Bodh Gaya directly is Indian state boundaries mean buses don’t go directly there. Varanasi is in Uttar Pradesh and Bodh Gaya is in Bihar. Sasaram is right on the border of Bihar, when you get there you have to take further transportation. In theory you can drive Varanasi to Bodh Gaya in 5 hours, which is long but not ‘long’ long
Wait in the muddy field for 30 minutes for whatever reason then finally we go. Driver starts driving into oncoming traffic before building up enough speed to accelerate over the raised pavement that separates the two road directions, was about 5 minutes of driving on the wrong side of the road in all. He took the raised pavement to hop back to the correct side like it was a ramp in Mario Kart. Nobody cared. 3 hours later, crammed in the bus in the dark we arrive in the grimy and in that a way a little intimidating Sasaram. The city and surrounds were visibly very very poor, there is litter everywhere etc
At the bus station they say there is no bus onwards to Bodh Gaya, I must go by train. Concept of a bus to a major nearby city seemed confusing for some people. And apparently the train was the same train I could have caught in Varanasi anyway. I have to walk out the bus station, down a dark, creepy-looking track past some slums and then across live railway lines to get to the station. Here they only have general standing tickets available, so I pay 65 rupees (>$1) because no other alternative. Was hungry but the only food available to buy anywhere near the station was biscuits so I had biscuits and coca cola for my evening meal. It was dark now too so I went to sit under the one working lamp on my train platform. Would still need to wait 90 minutes for my train to arrive
Waited, bored but naively expecting the train to arrive on time. Of course this is India and karma for my hubris soon caught up to me when a teenager I was talking to (actually he was very nice and helpful - he said Sasaram had once been the proud capital of the ‘Sur Dynasty’, also he was sleeping in the station until 6am to catch his train assuming it was on time. Actually the station was full of Indians sleeping on the floor overnight for similar reasons, must have been at least 50 people there) told me the train would be 30 minutes late. Ok... annoying. 30 minutes later, oh it comes in 30 more minutes. 30 minutes later, oh it comes in 30 minutes. Finally it arrives, 11:30pm - hours after its scheduled arrival time. Except it’s full, it’s a complete crush inside… not desperate to get in something like that in India
He says, oh wait 15 and there is another better one - the one that left Varanasi four hours after the train that had just arrived was due soon, almost on time. That is, because it hadn’t been delayed it would arrive only 15 minutes after the first train. It arrives and I take it, finally on the train. Train has a little more space available but the tiered shelf-seats in basic class are still otherwise stacked like a warehouse, plus it’s dingy and dirty too. We set off but the train keeps stopping for a long time at every station along the route. Finally, after about 90 minutes (1am) it stops at Rafiganj, a small village maybe 40km from Bodh Gaya. I wait, expecting it to move soon
30 minutes later it still hasn’t moved so because it is stifling, smells of BO inside I go outside on the platform for some fresh air. I wait 30 more minutes. Nothing. Nobody speaks English. They just shrug. I am tired and angry, at the end of my tether. Phone battery almost dead. A group of men walk past, they have a little English. They say oh, signal failure, maybe the train will leave at 5am (so 6am I think). Almost crying. I ask if they have tuk tuks outside the station? At this point would pay for an overpriced taxi just to get to bed and sleep. He says no, this is a village and the countryside around it is very dangerous, there are many bandits here so nobody will drive me until morning. I am trapped
Had given up but then thought to ring my guesthouse in Bodh Gaya to ask them to send a taxi. While they nominally spoke English they didn’t really seem to understand the words I was saying, it took them a while to understand the concept of sending a taxi out to collect me that I was trying to convey. Eventually though they seemed to understand and said they will check if it was possible. I wait 15 then phone them up and they said the driver they normally use wasn’t responding, probably he had fallen asleep. Sorry. Suddenly someone says the train will leave again in 10 minutes. I said to the receptionist I might call him back, he said not possible because he was going to sleep. I wait 20 minutes and finally, at almost 3am, the train leaves. Takes another 30 minutes to arrive at the edge of Gaya (city within which Bodh Gaya is located) and then 30 more in a tuk tuk to get to Bodh Gaya (overpaid but was really late so didn’t care - also made throwaway comment the driver lectured me in a genuinely angry tone about; my mispronouncing Rama in a British accent: Ram-a not my Rar-ma), where my guesthouse is. Exhausted. Arrived 12 hours later than intended at 4am
[2/3]
Woke up after a terrible sleep to find bites along my stomach and thighs. I thought I had felt something crawling on me in the night but I was exhausted and couldn’t see anything so I assumed it was nothing. Looked at the bed, there were ants crawling around near the pillow. A load of ants had scuttled over me in the night and bitten me. Was shocked but at the same time unsurprised. Felt quite woozy - as though I had contracted something from an insect bite perhaps - but just shrugged it off because I was so far gone at that point
Decided to take a walk and have some lunch before I went to see the tree the Buddha was sat under when he reached enlightenment. The town was deserted and the restaurants and shops were mostly closed though there was one in the basement of a hotel that was open. I go in and there are four Indians sleeping on the sofa in the dark. When they see me they jolt up, switch on the lights and sit me down. As I sit down a rat runs across the floor. I open the menu they give me and ants crawl out. Again, inured to it all at this point I don’t really care. To avoid food poisoning I decided not to have the meat but the toast and porridge seemed fine (it’s 2pm in the afternoon at this point). 10 minutes later there is a power cut and I eat my toast in the dark. Finish my lunch then have strong urge to rush to the toilet (humid and hot inside because no fan - makes me sweat from the heat) and evacuate my bowels. Presumably something I ate
You would think you could find a few hours respite in all of this where something didn’t go wrong but no it was non-stop. Only finally able to relax when I reached the Buddha’s tree and was able to slump down on the floor nearby
Aaaaahhhhh these western books depict such full and carefree lives aaahhhh I’m so deeply resentful and jealous ahhhhh I can’t stand these western books anymore ahhhh their dreams and aspirations are so real and tangible I can’t stand it I can’t stand ittt I’m goinggg insaannnneee
When I first read Dino Buzzati’s ‘The Tartar Steppe’ I was so violently sick that my family had to call an ambulance. I spent a week in a hospital bed on a drip recovering
Yes. See also the great but difficult to find Italian film adaptation ‘Il deserto dei Tartari’ (1976). Mean great here in the sense of I had to go to therapy for months after I finished watching it
Voicenotes are default mode of message app communication for most non-WEIRD groups. Can measure exact point at which a former WEIRD Western country becomes non-WEIRD via migration with the ‘VOICENOTE INFLECTION POINT’ ie when at least 50% of people prefer using voicenotes vs text
Britain is one of the world’s most voicenote averse countries - which should be a huge source of patriotic pride for British people everywhere. Ontologically speaking as long as Britain remains comparatively allergic to voicenotes it is still fair to say that it ‘remains British’