Thread by @hoopersnook

Influence a 🪡
I talked with a friend last night was a couple years ahead of me in school. When we met through a mutual friend I was still on high school, he was at OBU. He and their group of friends were so kind and inclusive to me. Treated me like an equal. And cared for me. +

Later, when we were both at OBU, he was one of the smartest people on campus. Legit brilliant, studied philosophy & bib languages, now has multiple graduate degrees. But. If you didn’t just know he was the smartest person in most rooms, he sure wasn’t going to tell you. +

Mostly he was going to listen to you. To say what he thinks and believes for sure, but to talk with you not at you. Ask questions. Gently affirm and help to flesh out what you were saying with his scholarship, but never in a condescending way. I remember thinking in college- +

Truly smart people make other people feel smarter, not dumb. That’s what being a teacher is. I’m not great at it. But since then I’ve been trying to learn to be. It’s not easy. But gosh I needed brothers & peers like him them. And still do now. I was reminded of that yesterday +

as we sat at my dining room table in my messy house, now adults with kids the same age we were when we met. Just being able to talk and be really listened to, gently affirmed and deepened and even redirected to a better way. And to remember why 20yrs later I want his advice. +

Not bc he’s smarter than me, though that’s undoubtedly true. Or more educated, also true. Or even a pastor. But bc he’s the kind of person I want to be. And genuinely cares about and respects me as an equal, the same way he did when we were kids.
So. I guess my point is.+

Influence is not owed. Not because of talent or credentials or position. Not long-term, deep influence.
It is earned. By genuine mutual respect and love as brothers and sisters. And by kindness and gentleness and humility.
So. Be like my friend.
That’s what I’m tryna do today.

So many typos. 😬🙄// end.