current mood: i hate having standards
a thing i dislike about a lot of advice you'll find on the internet – and this is kind of a consequence of search engine optimization – is most advice ends up being very tactical. like if you struggle with sleep, you'll encounter a lot of "use blackout blinds, wind down early..."
but it's not just about SEO, it's also abt the fact that tactical advice is the easiest to give, it's never wrong, but if you have a wicked problem that you haven't been able to solve, the issue is rarely bad tactics. most people with wicked problems already know all the tactics
the issue is usually something more fundamental, it's usually about how the problem is framed. it's about the person's entire concept of their relationship with X. people don't need tactics and hacks nearly as much as they need to *reconceptualize their relationship with X*
but this is dangerous, scary territory to go to. advising people to reconceptualize their relationships is tricky fucking business. so for the most part we have this weird world where everyone has problems and everyone offers solutions and nothing much changes
but when you think about it, it's obvious, right? change is either superficial or it is not, and thorough change is scary, dangerous, overwhelming, and so like 90% of what we see everywhere is sitcom-grade costume change stuff, basically filler to pass the time
most people frame their problems in ways that are designed to perpetuate those problems, when you see this you can't unsee it (but you can kind of pretend you don't see it and distract yourself from it). some of it is deliberate, most of it isn't
gotta see the humor in it i guess. ha ha. ayy lmao. world spins madly on
but also the thing is if you find the 1% or 0.1% of people who are really serious about walking into the crucible of change, and you connect them to each other, build coalitions of them, you will unlock power that the world has only really seen intermittently every few centuries

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More from @visakanv

22 Nov
finally happened, there's a thread of mine that I desperately want to find but I can't seem to find it
I do remember that it involves a gif of that plankton guy from spongebob
ah, I've been trying to search variations of the phrase "never thought I'd get this far" , but the phrase was *in the gif*, ugh
Read 4 tweets
22 Nov
having a moment where I realize I don't... make much of an effort to *experience* the kinship of my friends

it's kind of weird, like, i've put in all this effort into *making* friends, but I hardly spend any time *enjoying* them

both are quite elegantly explained by fear
I used to spend loads of my time lounging around with my friends as a teenager, we were a group of misfits and we could be kinda casually harsh and cruel with each other but there was a love there, maybe largely out of a sense of shared suffering
the adults in my life often attacked/insulted/shamed me for this, and the hardest part was that there was a part of me that agreed with them, like at some level we were certainly a bunch of low-lifes just fucking around aimlessly. AND we also had big ambitious dreams. it's messy
Read 21 tweets
22 Nov
“Under the thinning fog the surf curled and creamed, almost without sound, like a thought trying to form itself on the edge of consciousness.”
― Raymond Chandler, The Big Sleep
“Nobody complains about all the fog. I know why, now: as bad as it is, you can slip back in it and feel safe. That’s what McMurphy can’t understand, us wanting to be safe. He keeps trying to drag us out of the fog, out in the open where we’d be easy to get at.”
– Ken Kesey one flew over the cuckoo's nest
“Night-time is being brushed aside like so much cobweb. The day is wound up and begins even before the last haunted dreams, the last of the fog, those spectral and evanescent residues, have faded away.”
― Gregory Maguire
Read 6 tweets
21 Nov
funny how when my friends give me their reads of my situation with "I might be projecting", it's accurate

recently also saw someone wrongly project his own shit onto a friend with an assertive "look at you, typical X, doing things like Y on purpose, you know what you're doing"
my read is that this is foundationally about intellectual humility

my friends aren't being fake-humble when they say they might be projecting, they're being honest

but because they're intellectually honest, they've gotten good at modelling things well and making good reads
whereas a recurring thing with people who are too confident with their reads seems to be that that they pattern-match based on a couple of phrases. eg someone seeing me say "pattern-match" and assume I work in tech, QT "tech bros love to pretend they've invented social dynamics"
Read 4 tweets
21 Nov
took me years to begin to understand that one of the most heroic things you can do is not hate yourself
writing a book lol. will be published hopefully end of the month:

a short answer might be, take inventory of yourself, identify specific behaviors that you love and do more of that. investigate what you hate, and be genuinely curious to understand how/why
Read 4 tweets

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