I am deeply thankful for the guilty verdict in the slaying of Ahmaud Arbery, but in this gratefulness, it's so critical to remember a few things:
1. Remember how close we came to no trial at all due to corrupt systems and authority figures. Justice was terrifyingly slow and it took far too much suffering and effort from Ahmaud's family, press, and other law enforcement, to get this. That is a terrifying reality.
2. Getting some measure of justice is often the exception, not the rule. This result was good. This does NOT mean the systems are changing/will continue to change, without constant effort and vigilance. Don't stop paying attention - let this spur you to pay MORE attention.
3. Remember victims who didn't have public pressure, leaked videos, a family to advocate for them - who didn't have everything it took to get here. Remember them. Ask what you don't see.
4. Remember that while we are "celebrating" justice, Ahmaud's family wakes up tomorrow with the reality of the permanent loss.
The court process is all-encompassing, especially in a high profile case. Every day is waiting for news, is having wounds ripped open, and then...
The court process is all-encompassing, especially in a high profile case. Every day is waiting for news, is having wounds ripped open, and then...
It suddenly ends.
The perpetrators are rarely truly sorry. If anything, they and their advocates continue saying and doing horrible things that grind like salt in a wound.
The cameras fade, the constant business fades, the purpose you had in fighting for justice is done.
The perpetrators are rarely truly sorry. If anything, they and their advocates continue saying and doing horrible things that grind like salt in a wound.
The cameras fade, the constant business fades, the purpose you had in fighting for justice is done.
What you are left with when the emotional relief at the verdict fades, is the depth of the loss, and having to rediscover who you are and what your purpose is. The depth of grief in the silence that follows a high profile verdict is deafening.
The adrenaline that has kept you functioning because you absolutely could not stop, screeches to a halt because survival mode ended, and the physical and mental exhaustion that has been destroying you under the surface suddenly rages to the surface and you feel everything.
In my case I had 16 years to heal and know who I was outside of my "case" and the exhaustion on every level and physical cost was still so high. I cannot imagine having entered that type of process immediately after such a devastating loss, with no time to heal and grieve first.
And while I don't know what specific realities Ahmaud's family is facing, I also don't know any survivor that hasn't experienced these brutal realities in these types of cases.
Don't forget that while we are rejoicing with grief at some measure of justice...
Don't forget that while we are rejoicing with grief at some measure of justice...
It almost didn't come, and it took far too much of a fight to get here.
Remember so many who never see it at all.
Remember the families wake up tomorrow with the reality, and live with it every single day in the silence that follows when the cameras fade.
Remember so many who never see it at all.
Remember the families wake up tomorrow with the reality, and live with it every single day in the silence that follows when the cameras fade.
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