Thread by @MetroUK

‘Someone once told me that there’s a warp and a weft to life and when something like a cancer diagnosis comes in, the fabric of your life changes pattern forever.’ 💔

[THREAD]

trib.al/0PR2Atr

Music producer Hilary Morgan earnestly writes about how confirmation of the end can be the beginning of truly living - a lesson she learnt after her husband was diagnosed with cancer.

‘When my husband, Tim, was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in 2015, he was determined to make the most of the time he had left.

Prior to the diagnosis, Tim had been unusually tired for a year or so, which, on reflection, was anaemia due to the cancer.’ She wrote.

But the hardest part of his diagnosis? The kids.

‘It’s so hard to tell your kids that you have a life-threatening disease because the truthful answer to nearly all their questions is “I don’t know”.’

Hilary went on to write that the thought of William (their youngest, aged 6 when Tim was diagnosed) not remembering his father was unbearable.

So, Tim turned his attention to fighting the battle ahead - getting his tumour removed and starting chemotherapy.

‘Unfortunately, it only worked for a little while, so he had to have a further operation called HIPEC.’

HIPEC - Hyperthermic intraperitoneal chemotherapy - is a two-step process used to fight cancers in the abdomen. It’s invasive, to be blunt.

‘Cancerous tumours are surgically removed, and then heated chemotherapy drugs are applied directly inside the abdomen to eliminate the remaining cancerous cells.’

But the worst happened - it wasn’t enough to free Tim of cancer completely.

So, the family turned to experimental treatment methods - searching for new trials until Tim
settled on a trio triple therapy combination with his oncologist.

After nine months Tim became classified as ‘NED’, meaning his body was free from the disease. Not a trace in sight.

‘He used that time to train on his bike. He even completed the Dartmoor Demon race with his friends – 90km of Devonian steep hills – raising over £270,000 for the Institute of Cancer Research (ICR).’

Hilary wrote that regardless of the treatments and how gruelling they were - the house was always filled with laughter.

‘Tim would have the kids in hysterics with his stories - he was an amazing mimic, and could do accents brilliantly.’

But the cancer would return, leading to another experimental trial in Barcelona for immunotherapy. A treatment that helps your immune system fight the disease.

Always up for an adventure, the family moved to Spain for a few weeks for the start of Tim’s treatment, with him flying back and forth with other family members to finish up.

‘Those were actually some amazing times which, if you look at it positively, cancer gifted to Tim.’

The drugs worked like a charm, but after a strong 14 months Tim’s body began to develop resistance and he had to drop out of the trial.

‘With no new options left, Tim and his oncologist decided to give chemotherapy one more go.’

Eventually, palliative care at home was the only remaining option.

‘Tim found that hard to accept. He was such a fighter. For the first three years as someone with cancer, he was fit and strong.’

‘He used to go to the hospital in Spain, have his treatment, then go for a run up in the hills. The nurses all thought he was crazy, but he was proving that he was alive.’

Sadly, Tim died in November 2019, aged 48. Over 300 people attended his funeral, celebrated, loved and laughed.

‘At each stage of the process Tim fought and, although the final year was tough, I feel lucky we had the positive years preceding it.’

Hilary, with her two children Molly, now 16, and William, now 12, have managed to continue through the grief that comes with the loss of a loved one.

‘With kids you have to be resilient and Tim’s legacy is that he never quit, so nor can we.’

Read Hilary and Tim’s story in full here... trib.al/0PR2Atr