I wish my life was as (ostensibly) simple as a pigeon's.
Me: if I get annoyed about something, I rant about it on Twitter.
Pigeon: if I get annoyed about something, I dance around in a circle while making cute noises.
Me: if I run out of money for food, I have a problem.
Me: if I get annoyed about something, I rant about it on Twitter.
Pigeon: if I get annoyed about something, I dance around in a circle while making cute noises.
Me: if I run out of money for food, I have a problem.
Pigeon: Money? What's that? If I run out of food, I dance around in a circle making cute noises at my human so he gives me more.
Me: If my toilet blocks, I have a problem.
Pigeon: Toilets? What are those? I shit wherever I want, all the damn time.
Me: If my toilet blocks, I have a problem.
Pigeon: Toilets? What are those? I shit wherever I want, all the damn time.
Me: It's hard to find a mate. It's a tough world out there.
Pigeon: All I have to do is dance around in a circle making cute noises and they just flock to me. I even have a special penthouse opposite where I take the laydeez.
Me: Bureaucracy is the bane of my life in Uruguay.
Pigeon: All I have to do is dance around in a circle making cute noises and they just flock to me. I even have a special penthouse opposite where I take the laydeez.
Me: Bureaucracy is the bane of my life in Uruguay.
Pigeon: The bane of my life in Uruguay is my human's curtains. I'm scared of them. Yellowy orange: help! However, occasionally I defeat them, and amuse myself by sitting on my human's sofa until he wakes up.
Me: Some evil people exist in this world who could potentially kill me
Me: Some evil people exist in this world who could potentially kill me
Pigeon: Some evil pigeons exist in this world who try and steal my food and flap their wings at me! Ow! So I flap my wings back, dance around in a circle and make cute noises at them. Problem solved!
Me: If I feel uncomfortable, sometimes I have to stay in a particular spot.
Me: If I feel uncomfortable, sometimes I have to stay in a particular spot.
Pigeon: If I feel uncomfortable and it's not serious, I step back onto the balcony for 5 seconds before coming straight back in again.
If it's serious, I spread my wings, fly away and am as free as a bird.
Me: Traffic is annoying and can slow my day down.
If it's serious, I spread my wings, fly away and am as free as a bird.
Me: Traffic is annoying and can slow my day down.
Pigeon: Traffic? What's that? I can go from 0-60 in 6.8 seconds (well, something like that) and no-one except HELP CATS HELP can stop me!
I'm not sure if I'd like to come back as a pigeon in a future life. It depends if I had a human to take care of me.
I'm not sure if I'd like to come back as a pigeon in a future life. It depends if I had a human to take care of me.
But it's not a bad life if you do.
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