I’m an adoptee who (and this is rare) has a good relationship with my birth mother, who I only met four years ago. She carried me to term because she didn’t believe she had a choice and was deeply traumatized by giving me up.
And I’m not such a narcissist that I think my own existence buttresses an anti-choice argument. I believe the world would have continued to turn without me and resent anti-abortion types who use adoptees to justify their nonsense.
People like Amy Coney Barrett, who have never had to contemplate giving up a child, are very blithe about this. Even if they have children—in part because they can’t fathom a scenario where they’d have to give their own child up.
There’s also a presumption that this process isn’t traumatic to women who don’t want children and that is completely wrong.
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
It is a moral alternative. But worth noting, it's only an alternative because people like you actively block sex education in American schools, and widely available, free contraception. If you don't want abortion, make safe sex the norm.
Also, Ben: let's talk about your "Do Not Comply" avatar. So let me get this straight: the government can't tell you what to do because it's your body. Cannot stick a tiny needle in your arm for one second to protect the rest of the populace. BUT...
If you're pregnant, they can mandate that you stick endless needles in your arm (which happens when you're pregnant), use your body however they want for NINE MONTHS, and if it harms, which it usually does to some extent, you have no remedy.
Guy who sent me this one is a VC and I realize that VCs thinking all of their expertise is transitive is a thing, but this is the first time I’ve seen one suggest that he’s an expert on his daughter’s experience as an adoptee.
This dude sent me an even worse second email. Gonna go out on a limb and guess that his portfolio is 95 percent male entrepreneurs.
Also thought his name sounded familiar and it is! Well known dot com 1.0 guy who sold a company you’d recognize for a bajillion dollars or so.
I was working as a financial analyst on 9/11. I had to commute to Long Island that day because I was working on a merger and we were doing a lot of due diligence stuff that mostly consisted of sitting in a conference room and going through paperwork.
The first plane hit while I was on the LIRR and when I got into a shared can with three strangers, radio reports made it sound like a six seater Cessna had taken a wrong turn. Tragic but no one was freaked out. No one realized it was a giant commercial plane.
By the time we pulled in to the first stop, it was clear that it was a commercial airliner and just as the first person was getting out, another plane had hit the WTC. Total silence the rest of the time.
You can tell how many of these rednecky dude-bros (and I say that as someone with a family of rednecky dude-bros) have never been responsible for anything related to their kid's schooling that they think vaccine mandates are an Orwellian dystopia where freedom doesn't exist.
I wish people would get actual adoptees (hi, me) to write these kind of stories. This is good in many ways, but I cringed at some of the writer's perceptions: theatlantic.com/politics/archi…
My bio mom and my adopted mom are both Republicans. My adopted mom is a single issue abortion voter who's white. My bio mom is Hispanic and not single issue, but still a Republican. I'm pro-choice.
Adoption trauma is very complicated. Especially when you grow up with people around you who tell you that you're "lucky" and "could have been aborted" but don't tell your non-adopted brothers that.
This is a thing I think about: so many of the people I grew up with in rural AL, if they went to college after high school, ended up as nurses. But they're mostly women. That said...
Should also mention, I've had several people who are nurses where i grew up complain to me that they're being shouted down by men in their lives who have no idea what's happening in rural hospitals. And these women don't agree with me politically.
I think the lack of sympathy for healthcare workers sometimes intersects with bigotry bc the first people they interact w are not white male PhDs. Some people treat healthcare workers like they're robots who are just supposed to perform please-the-customer acts and not experts.