So many memories of stirring in the middle of the night, hearing the score on Test Match Special, rolling over and putting my head back under the covers in interminable despair.

Bruce Reid's reign of terror in 1990/1 sticks in the mind even now.
So does the Atherton/Hick disaster in 1994/5. And Nasser saying "we'll have a bowl, mate" in 2002 and THAT collapse - every England batsman frozen in the headlights - at Adelaide in 2006/7 and the utter disgrace and shame of 2013/14. Truly, as embarrassing as the 1993 brownwash.
I have these tiny, can just about recall them memories of Newsround reports when we won in 1986-7 (but lost the last Test, which meant Allan Border kept his job. Oops).

Otherwise, my Ashes-watching lifetime started in 1989. Gooch lbw b Alderman, again and again and AGAIN.
Wonder of wonders, we could even deal with the bejewelled, breathtaking West Indies by 1990. Has there ever been a greater cricketer than Viv Richards? A greater opening pair than Greenidge and Haynes? A greater fast bowler than Malcolm Marshall? Gus Logie was my personal fave.
During the school holidays, I'd watch all day long, enthralled. With a sandwich and packet of hula hoops for lunch when the teams lunched too.

But we just couldn't handle Australia. At all. The amount of trauma they inflicted on English children my age during that time...!
In 32 years, you know how often we've played either very well or decently Down Under? Twice. 1998/9 was one of my favourite Ashes series... even though we lost the urn in no time and might easily have lost 5-0 (but also drawn 2-2: Slater's run out that wasn't given was a scandal)
As it was, 3-1 was about right. I still see that series plus South Africa the summer beforehand (but did Cronje throw it?) as when things began to turn. I will always be thankful to Alec Stewart for that, and will always believe his dismissal as captain was absurdly premature.
But now? Well, here's the thing. Test cricket is treated as less and less important by everyone. With England finally a proper limited overs side (we weren't for about a quarter of a century!), we're not developing players with the backbone and patience necessary for Test cricket
Very few sides ever win big series away from home any more - India in Australia a remarkable exception - and the English game's disgusting sell-out to satellite TV after 2005 means far fewer people get to watch.

Which has a huge knock-on effect on interest and playing numbers.
The whole of Test cricket is slowly dying away. An absolutely awful thing - because if you don't enjoy Test cricket, you don't enjoy life itself. It's like the slowest of slow cooking, full of its own rhythms and intricacies.

So I guess we should enjoy it while it still lasts.
4-1 Australia was my pre-series prediction.

Currently, that's looking a tad optimistic. 😳😳😳

Oh England, my England. ☹️

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More from @shaunjlawson

10 Dec
THREAD: @GeorgeMonbiot.

George has been having his difficulties on here lately. I get entirely where he's coming from, because it's reminded me of my own! 😳

I'm @ ing him because I hope he gets the chance to read it at some point.

He's a hero of mine. Always has been.
I want to start by asking his many critics on here: how many of you have ever:

- Been made persona non grata in seven different countries because of your brilliant work exposing what was happening there?

- Been sentenced to life in prison in abstentia (as he was by Indonesia)?
- Been shot at?

- Been beaten up by military police?

- Been rendered comatose by hornets?

- Been attacked by security guards and had a metal spike driven through your foot?

- Tried to carry out a citizen's arrest of John Bolton?
Read 39 tweets
9 Dec
The downfall of British Prime Ministers: a potted history.

- Chamberlain: appeasement plus "peace for our time" plus Norway = bye bye

- Churchill: 'Socialist Gestapo' plus Tory (but not his) appeasement plus desire for a genuine welfare state = Labour landslide
- Attlee: too much austerity for too long, including rationing still going on at a time people started wanting things. We'd won the war. Had we lost the peace?

- Eden: d'oh! The third worst foreign policy blunder in postwar British history. Invited to... take early retirement.
- Macmillan: Profumo affair plus Night of Long Knives plus that stench of Tory decadence which would become oh so familiar

- Wilson: 'The pound in your pocket' plus England 2-3 West Germany plus the postwar settlement beginning to fail

- Heath: 3 Day Week plus weak leadership
Read 9 tweets
8 Dec
FAO Allegra Stratton: if you lay down with dogs, you get fleas.

You sold your soul for fame and glory. But the devil you made that pact with does not forget.

I'm reminded somewhat of Richard Keys and Andy Gray. Who reacted with shock when Murdoch and Sky hung them out to dry!
"It's a media circus!", wailed Dicky. About SKY TV for God's sake.

You had your choices Allegra. You made absolutely appalling ones. Now you can repent at your leisure, after being a disgusting, criminal PM (who you wanted to work for!) and vile government's little scapegoat.
It's fascinating when the actual, vulnerable human being is exposed.

As it was when Thatcher and May resigned - in both cases, having displayed zero empathy whatsoever for their countless victims.

Politics ISN'T a game. The kind of people Stratton was surrounded by think it is
Read 4 tweets
8 Dec
My favourite things about cats:

1. Headbutts. The best thing EVER. 🥰🥰🥰

2. That in many cases, they choose us. We do not choose them.

3. Their ability to send us to the doghouse for hours on end if we've done something they're not happy about.

theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2…
4. Their relentless obsession with hygiene.

5. When they come to us and roll onto their backs, then their fronts, to show that they trust us.

6. Their apparent Zen-like calm for hours on end.

7. That I can tell when my parents' cat wants water. Just by how she looks at me.
(By 'water', I mean: "Oi! Take me upstairs to the bathtub and turn the tap on. I shall then carefully test the heat with my paw to check that it's cold").

8. If we're depressed or ill, they have our backs. They do, you know.
Read 14 tweets
4 Dec
Free societies only function effectively when the citizens act within the law, with respect for and responsibility towards each other.

The UK govt has broken that social contract many times over. But so have the unvaccinated (except those who can't be so for medical reasons).
It's not about "there's only a small risk to me; I'll take my chances thanks". It's entirely about increasing the risk to everyone else.

It's also about overwhelming hospitals with unvaccinated people - so others with life-threatening conditions die.
If you've actively chosen to endanger others through your own choices of refusing the vaccine (unless, I re-emphasise, your health means you can't be vaccinated) and/or refusing even to wear a mask, you don't get to stamp your feet and whine about consequences.
Read 15 tweets
2 Dec
Nice piece @maxrushden. 👍

McCoist - who dressed up as Hearty Harry the week before the Rangers-Hearts Coca-Cola Cup Final in 1996, and when he did his big reveal, the Hearts fans laughed along with him - is quite amazing. Best summariser ever.

theguardian.com/football/blog/…
Keane definitely won't like the comparison, but he's Eamon Dunphy's true heir if you ask me. And DEFINITELY plays up to his image all the time.

I'd add James Richardson to the 'universally loved' category and take out Barry Davies: who I was in awe of but who divided opinion.
But compare and contrast McCoist's sheer love of the game with the absolutely horrendous Mark Lawrenson: whose rise coincided with the BBC's football coverage disappearing off a cliff.
Read 6 tweets

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