i’m continually fascinated by the phenomenon of people deliberately sharing content that in the same tweet, they describe as cursed, disgusting, gross, terrible and so on. i’d like a pithy phrase to point at this
There’s a spectrum, ranging from fun and silly harmless stuff– eg QTing your friend’s post jokingly with “delete this”, and maybe at the opposite end?– maybe there’s a 2x2 here?– antagonistically QTing “shut the fuck up”, probably meant to incite dunks and mockery
The inciting tweet for this was someone sharing a screenshot of an ad from Instagram with “this is so cursed” – I can’t actually tell whether the person thinks the ad is bad, whether they know that they’re doing free additional advertising. My guess is they probably don’t care
which then gets me thinking about the degree of responsibility people feel for shaping community norms. I think a significant % of smaller accounts– not sure what % tho – simply don’t feel responsible at all. And maybe in analysing this we should evaluate account size/reach
I think another thing I want to consider is the intent in posting. Sometimes people post stuff with the intent of making their friends groan, it’s very clear. Navigating this well can be fun and a demonstration of social awareness. Comedic groan-surfing. Thx frye for a great eg
here are a few tweets from a thread about cringe in American politics/memetics, which I think illustrates a strain of what I’m trying to make sense of
but this is still not the full spectrum – in the “mainstream political memes” discourse I think there’s an established norm of cringing at your political opponents (and on the left, cringing at your own, lol) but I’d say it’s sort of, business as usual, “just how people talk”…
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while researching the book i'm working on, i've noticed that there's an overabundance of tactical suggestions to problem-solving but a notable absence of suggestions to reframe and reconceptualize the problem entirely
but when you look for things that people really swear by – for example Allen Carr's Easyway to Quit Smoking – the most important thing is the reconceptualization. In order to quit smoking, you have to truly reconceptualize your relationship with cigarettes, inside out
but it's v difficult to give people "reconceptualization advice". One, it doesn't really fit into a convenient set of instructions.
Two, you have to have a deep understanding of the person's existing concept, and a clear model for a better concept, and the states in between
an interesting thing about stainless steel is that it's "self-healing". When you scratch it, the exposed chromium immediately oxidizes to form a new protective layer.
been reflecting lately that fear and/or ego work in roughly the same way
fear is at the heart of so many things – almost everything, it's basically omnipresent – but we seldom consciously notice it, IMO because its surface immediately reacts to deflect scrutiny. "I'm not scared, I'm stupid. I'm not scared, I'm a bad person, I'm not scared, I'm bored."
(all of this is my exp) corollary here is that *this is exactly what fear wants*. fear wants you to go scrutinize something else. anything else. argue with strangers. rearrange your wardrobe. question your sanity. fear would rather you be mad than scared
this is a problem that can be solved a bit of thinking and strategizing. If you wanna solve it. Some people just want to believe their friends hate them
If you want to solve it though the first step is to diversify your friend groups. Don’t rely on any one single group for all your social needs. Make some new friends. Reach out to old ones. You can even experiment with presenting different versions of yourself in diff groups
the second step is to have as many 1-1 conversations with people as possible. Ideally in person if possible so you can really get a sense of their facial & body language. You could even show them this meme and laugh about it together and ask them about their experiences
Re: inflation, I’ve told this story a few times – when I was about 10yo I learned in school about hyperinflation in WW2 Singapore and it freaked me out horribly. It shocked me that nobody else seemed to care- not the teachers, not the students. Money is sentiment and can go mad
I agonized about this all my life. What is money really? How do we trust it? People were during themselves during the Asian Financial Crisis in ‘97. Why? How did it come to that? Again, weirdly, nobody around me seemed to really care. “Go to school,” they said. “Get a good job…”
bought a Happy Meal which came with a book from a UK publisher written by a British author (who wrote How To Train Your Dragon!), manufactured in China, supplied via Hong Kong, imported probably thru Damansara, then probably trucked down to Singapore
“Problems that remain persistently insoluble should always be suspected as questions asked in the wrong way.” – Alan Watts
"The best advice is not to tell people what to do, but to ask them the right questions. Find out what's going on in their head, and help them frame that in a way that's useful." – @gtdguy