this but it’s wwx sneaking loquats into canon au lwj’s qiankun pouch, leading lwj to be convinced he’s being haunted by a particularly cheeky yao
lwj: “brother, I have been experiencing something… strange… recently”
lxc who thinks it’s finally time for the birds and bees talk: Ah ☺️ I see ☺️ Wangji☺️
when lwj tells him what is happening, lxc is perplexed !! What a strange Yao, to be sneaking loquats into his baby brothers bag!! He has never heard of such a thing, nor such a yao
dragonji comes home one day absolutely DISTRAUGHT! theres a new boy in his class, who has big fox ears and tail. his name is wei ying, and he has bewitched lwj!!
“I have caught huli jing disease.” dragonji bemoans to lxc, “there is no cure.”
lxc doesn’t know quite what to say. he has never seen his little brother so upset.
“What…what exactly is ‘huli jing disease’” lxc asks, and lwj sighs as if he’s carrying the weight of the world on his little shoulders
“my heart beats faster when he comes near me.”
lwj bites distractedly on the end of lxc’s robes, tugging them in his chubby fists as he waddled behind his brother on the way to the hanshi
thinking about a wangxian post canon au where wwx wakes up one morning, sleepily making his way over to lwj and climbing into his lap. lwj begins to rub wwxs belly, but then freezes.
“this is…” hope seeps through his voice. wwx looks up, confused.
lwj bundles wwx up in his outer robe, swiftly making his way to the healers
they pass by a startled ljy & lsz, both of whom turn bright pink seeing their seniors in such a state (wwx’s bare legs stick out of lwjs robe) wwx winks at ljy, whose knees then buckle. lsz catches him
eventually they arrive at the healers, and lwj is almost frantic with the way he carries wwx through the room, not stopping until they’re at back and he can set wwx down carefully on one of the beds
wangxian au where lwj gets hit with a de-aging curse and everyone thinks wwx has somehow given birth the first time they see him in caiyi town, bby lwj propped on his hip and nomming on chenqing
thinking about lqr catching wwx at 4 in the morning in the kitchens, wwxs hand stuffed into the jar full of lqr’s favourite cookies
“what is the meaning of this?!” lqr fumes. wwx panics, shoving the jar behind his back and blurting out “I’m pregnant!”
bonus points if he’s not actually with child yet, he just panics and being himself comes up with the most ludicrous, out of pocket excuse in the hopes it will through lqr off his trail.