Very good piece on empathy by @Ljiljana1972 that I strongly recommend. social-epistemology.com/2021/12/08/emp…
I found those observations by Gregory the Great particularly insightful, because they might explain why I was unable to comfort people I care about in the past, since I couldn't feel the way they did while I was trying to comfort them. 
It's easier said than done though, because in the cases I have in mind, doing so would have required that I see the world in the same way they did, which is not something you can do at will. So I felt bad because they felt bad, but I couldn't really feel bad *with* them.
I think this might hint at a limitation of @paulbloomatyale's view. When someone suffers because they see the world in a way that I think is wrong, my inclination is to think that the best way to help them is to make them see that the world isn't really like that.
This idea seems to be part of what motivates @paulbloomatyale's view on empathy, insofar as it applies to inter-personal relations at least, but in practice the problem is that it doesn't really work and maybe you can't help someone feel better without suffering with them.
However, as I noted above, you can't really control how you see the world (except maybe in the long-run and only to some extent), so even if I buy Gregory the Great's advice I don't know how to apply it in practice. Maybe you need faith, a conclusion @Ljiljana1972 might like!
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