The modern idea is you're supposed to accept yourself. I think that's an insane idea - Really. I can't think of a more nihilistic idea than that... (thread)
"You're already okay".
No, you're not! And the reason you're not is that you could be way more than you are.
What do you want to be: do you want to be okay as you are, or do you want to strive towards what's better?
To treat yourself as if you were someone you are responsible for
helping is, instead, to consider what would be truly good for you.
This is not “what you want.” It is also not “what would make you
happy.”
You need to consider the future and think, “What might my life look like if I were caring for myself properly? What career would challenge me and render me productive and helpful, so that I could shoulder my share of the load, and enjoy the consequences?"
"What should I be doing, when I have some freedom, to improve my health, expand my knowledge, and strengthen my body?”
What do you do if you're afraid and, to some degree, anxious?
You lay out what you're anxious about in detail. Ask yourself, "What it is that I'm afraid of that might happen?".
Then, you deconstruct it into smaller increments - into hypothetically manageable problems - and then you expose yourself, gradually, to the thing that you're afraid of.
The effect of this is not that you become less afraid. What happens instead? You become braver. And that's not the same thing.