The modern idea is you're supposed to accept yourself. I think that's an insane idea - Really. I can't think of a more nihilistic idea than that... (thread)
"You're already okay".
No, you're not! And the reason you're not is that you could be way more than you are.
What do you want to be: do you want to be okay as you are, or do you want to strive towards what's better?
To treat yourself as if you were someone you are responsible for
helping is, instead, to consider what would be truly good for you.
This is not “what you want.” It is also not “what would make you
happy.”
You need to consider the future and think, “What might my life look like if I were caring for myself properly? What career would challenge me and render me productive and helpful, so that I could shoulder my share of the load, and enjoy the consequences?"
"What should I be doing, when I have some freedom, to improve my health, expand my knowledge, and strengthen my body?”
What do you do if you're afraid and, to some degree, anxious?
You lay out what you're anxious about in detail. Ask yourself, "What it is that I'm afraid of that might happen?".
Then, you deconstruct it into smaller increments - into hypothetically manageable problems - and then you expose yourself, gradually, to the thing that you're afraid of.
The effect of this is not that you become less afraid. What happens instead? You become braver. And that's not the same thing.
You are complex beyond your own understanding; more complex than anything else that exists, excepting other people; complex beyond belief. And your ignorance is further complicated by the intermingling of who you are with who you could be.
You are not only something that is. You are something that is becoming— and the potential extent of that becoming also transcends your understanding.
Everyone has the sense, I believe, that there is more to them than they have yet allowed to be realized. That potential is often obscured by poor health, misfortune, and the general tragedies and mishaps of life.
"In sterquiliniis invenitur" - In filth, it will be found.
What you most want to find will be found where you least wish to look.
You have things that come easy to you and that you're happy about pursuing, you found those things and followed them, and you've mastered them. You know all that.
But then there's other places and things you don't want to go to or that you haven't faced yet, and you haven't mastered. They have this monstrous aspect to them.
1/6 - With regards to telling if you are speaking authentically:
2/6 - Listen to yourself talk, as if a stranger was talking. Try not to identify too much with what you are saying. Then, observe. See if what you are saying makes you feel stronger, physically, or weaker.
3/6 - If it makes you feel weaker, stop saying it. Try to reformulate your speech until you can feel the ground under your feet solidifying. Then practice only saying things that make you strong.