New essay this AM:

"It feels not-impossible that we’re days away from social conservatives staging some kind of protest in which they draw little icing penises on gingerbread persons they’ve angrily purchased in bulk from the local queer-owned bakery."

charlotteclymer.substack.com/p/i-dont-care-…
I wrote this because @RichardGrenell, who is famously level-headed, was apparently Very Offended™ by a café labeling it "Gingerbread Person" and attempted in his clumsy way to claim liberals are forcing this on people.

Because he's a child and a grifter.
I would very much love to focus on important shit, believe me, but unfortunately, I know that many of you are going home this week to conservative relatives who, without prompting, will complain about gingerbread men being "cancelled". So... I have to write this. Sadly.
As always, please subscribe to Charlotte's Web Thoughts. It's free. It takes 5 seconds. All you need is an email. I don't spam.

And it helps me out immensely. Do me a favor and subscribe here: charlotteclymer.substack.com

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More from @cmclymer

16 Dec
"I paid off hundreds of thousands of dollars in ridiculous and predatory student loans, so others should have to do that, too" is a really weird and cruel thing to believe.
Sorry, I just don't understand this at all. I grew up in a place where no one outside my public school had a college degree, much less the ability to pay for one. So, implying that kids should "earn their stripes" because you got fucked over is pretty awful.
Working two or three jobs to pay for school isn't the least bit romantic. It shouldn't be celebrated. It's an indictment of how a quality college education is gate-kept by a workaholic system that reneges on promised payoffs, particularly for marginalized communities.
Read 4 tweets
14 Dec
"The most central and painful duality of Christmas is that it's the time of year when what Christ taught us to do and what Christians actually do are never further apart in agreement whilst simultaneously being never more jointly visible to all."

charlotteclymer.substack.com/p/decemberdual…
"It doesn’t matter who or what—if anything or anyone—you worship; the holidays make discussions on family and community and belonging compulsory."
"The corny Hallmark movies, decorations going on sell in late September, the same damn music that fills the formerly stale air at your local grocery store — all of it brings me joy."
Read 5 tweets
8 Dec
In 2012, Air Force Lt. Col. James Wilkerson, an F-16 fighter pilot, was accused by a physician's assistant of sexually assaulting her in the guest bedroom of his home during a party he was hosting on Aviano Air Base in northeastern Italy. (thread)
In November of that year, a four-person jury comprised of field grade Air Force officers like Wilkerson found him guilty of aggravated sexual assault and sentenced him to a year in jail, discharge from the Air Force, and forfeiture of pay.
Wilkerson's commanding officer was Air Force Lt. Gen. Craig Franklin. According to reporting from @frontlinepbs, Franklin, upon learning of the conviction, immediately asked about Wilkerson's retirement benefits. He was told that a dismissal approval would nullify retirement.
Read 12 tweets
1 Dec
Sir, back up for a second. I don't think you understand what's happening here, despite your best intentions. Even if we assume--for sake of argument--that Yoko Ono is awful, insufferable, manipulative, etc., that still doesn't explain how she made grown men break up.

(thread)
Do you get what I'm saying? The grown men who comprised The Beatles made their own decisions. It is beyond laughable to claim that Yoko Ono forced the most powerful entertainers on the planet--each of them icons in their own right--to do anything, let alone split.
Even if the new Beatles documentary didn't already make it clear that Yoko Ono wasn't to blame for the Beatles breaking up, we really only need common sense to reach that conclusion.
Read 6 tweets
30 Nov
It's #GivingTuesday!!!

You're probably not looking for suggestions on non-profits to support, but I'm gonna give you five suggestions anyway because they're great causes.

(short thread)
Fisher House Foundation (@FisherHouseFdtn) "builds comfort homes where military & veteran families can stay free of charge, while a loved one is in the hospital."

Donate here: bit.ly/FisherHouseFDN
The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (@TAPSorg) "offers compassionate care to all those grieving a military loss", particularly surviving children.

Donate here: bit.ly/TAPSorg
Read 6 tweets
29 Nov
This is the first scene in the new Beatles documentary that made my hair stand on end. Listen to how he’s vocalizing without words because he’s measuring out the melody and rhythm and has no lyrics yet.
Watch as Ringo and George are trying to work it out in their heads, too. All of them were looking for a resolution here. Stunning.
You can pinpoint the adjustments Paul makes as what he's singing edges closer to what he's thinking. And by the time he does the first vocalized melody, it complements his locomotive strumming perfectly and holy shit, it feels great to watch.
Read 5 tweets

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