Thread by @homemadeguitars

This morning she was fretful. Mostly awake, upset, uncomfortable.
My experience with hospice has not been a positive one. A hospice nurse came here and tipped over our carefully constructed apple cart, and the specific instructions I had given *another* hospice nurse *last night*

2. Had been lost in their system and I had to give them again.
Her brow was all furrowed, her eyebrows squinched together, anger in the set of her jaw - I know this face. I pay attention to it.
I stroked her brow, caressed away the squinch, softened her jawline.

3. I told her that she is perfect, that she has done absolutely everything she had to do, and done it well, and I'm so grateful to her for all of it.
I told her I will never be out of reach of her, she's not going anywhere, I'm not going anywhere, but to relax.

4. I told her Jaeson is waiting, saying, "Mom, I'm here."
I stroked her face until she slept.
I told the hospice lady that so far nothing hospice had told me had turned out to be true.
"Not the things I told you when I was here?"
They'd sent the boss. I ate one of them yesterday.

5. "You told me that you could get us whatever we needed within a day.
"Three days for the bed, and it's too miserable for your own staff to sit on.
"Three days for a fentanyl patch after I was told it would be 12 hours.
"You never could get me the bed railing,

6. "and we originally ordered the bed with railings.
"Your people still can't find the house.
"Turn off Highway onto Road. Go to first house on left."
"Almost a month. How complicated is this?"

7. She started explaining about how The Company in Kansas City was the Delivery and blah blah, and I said, "You're a woman, so I can't exactly apply this, but I'll tell my saying: Real men don't make excuses.
"If I owned that company I'd have gotten my ass in my car and driven...

8. "... to Kansas City and gotten those bed rails.
"I'd have done it for a telephone customer. Did do it for my telephone customers.
"Including your doctor."
"I'd not only have done it, I wouldn't have felt special. You give your word, it's either real or it's not. No decision."

9. "Well, I hope you'll let us do our work here and earn your respect. I hope you won't always expect the worst of us."
"What'd I walk into today?"
She looked at her feet.
"I'm from Missour-uh. Show me.
"I'm from so far back in the fucking hills that I say Missour-uh."
"Your move

10. Day late, dollar short, everything is not quite what it said in the advertising, what they really want is to take over and run it according to their schedule.
I told her when they may come. I told her what I told her flunky last night that we need, specifically, medicine.

11. It's already prescribed. It's Benadryl, for God's sake. I want them to come twice a day to administer it.
"OK. Noon and midnight?"
"Why I gotta get up in the middle of the night for you? What's wrong with ten and ten?"

12. Well, I knew what was wrong with it. What she was supposed to have done at 10:00 this morning she hadn't done til noon, so I was asking Outside The Rules that this dying lady could have two non-prescription antihistamines TWO HOURS BEFORE SCHEDULE.
She sucked it up & said OK.

13. So. We wait.