Thread by @AlHakamWeekly

🧵Finding a suitable partner

Answering a question on this topic, Huzoor (aa) advised: “The Holy Prophet (sa) gave us a general rule of thumb by taking a particular case; the very case you are describing: finding a life partner.

⬇️(1/9)

“He instructed us that when finding a suitable partner for marriage, people look for three or four factors.” This included family status, wealth and beauty. However, “The Holy Prophet (sa) said these three factors are worldly desires. (2/9)

“You are to give precedence to religion – when a man seeks a partner, he should focus on religion and faith [in the woman] and when a woman is looking for a partner, they should also focus on the religion and faith of the man.” (3/9)

“I tell this to the boys as well, that this commandment is not only for girls – that they should be righteous and religious […] but [for marriage] the boy should be righteous himself too. If the boy is not righteous, (4/9)

“how will he find a righteous girl and also make it a priority to find a righteous girl? For this reason, the Holy Prophet (sa), through this one saying corrected the ways of both the girl and boy; that the boy should be religious and faithful and the girl too.” (5/9)

Huzoor (aa) said that despite these instructions, if one was praying for a suitable match and worldly desires and wants to overcome them, then it was not from Allah the Almighty. When the desire and focus centred on finding a religious and righteous life partner, (6/9)

it was from Allah. A person should pray they get a partner who was a good, religious and righteous person.

Huzoor (aa) said this was the reason we were taught to pray that we are granted a “naik naseeb” – to have good fortune – when praying for marriage. (7/9)

“Pray for a husband who is religious, who has good deeds, who is educated, is caring towards you and treats you with love and care and is trustworthy – let it not be that he is someone who deceives you, (8/9)

“agrees with the marriage and then issues surface later that they had illicit relations elsewhere too. One should seek [Allah’s] refuge from such boys”. (9/9)
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