Thread by @Defunctland

Boss: "We need a headline for the unexpected death of one of the most famous people that has ever lived."

Reporter: "Hmm let me think, um, Walt Disney Dies.... movie.... tv.... notable."

Boss: "Copy, print it."

Boss: "Boys the Hartford Courant fumbled this one. Now, if you had to describe Walt D-"

Reporter: "DREAM MERCHANT"

Reporter: "God created me to be a poet."

Boss: "I hired you to write headlines."

Reporter: "Fine."

Reporter: "I woke up with the weirdest premonition."

Boss: "Print it."

Boss: "Truly, not another soul ever wrecked a mic like this man."

Reporter: "He spit."

Boss: "Slow news day, huh?"

Reporter with Knife: "It won't be."

Reporter: "It's been a rough day for the kids of Oklahoma City."

Boss: "No kidding, Walt Disney died."

Reporter: "He died?"

Boss: "Yeah, wait what were you referring to?"

Boss: "Walt Disney died."

Reporter: "Who?"

Boss: "I don't know."

Reporter: "Walt Disney died of cancer today."

Boss in 1966: "Yeah sure, but what if we phrased it like this."

Reporter: "Walt Disney is..."

Boss: "Print!"

Reporter: "Dead."

Boss: "What?"

Reporter: "What?"

Reporter: "Bro, Walt Disney is dead."

Bross: "Really dude?"

Reporter: "Yeah man."

Boss: "Walt Disney died."

Teenage Reporter from San Pedro, California: "I know. My friends and I were shocked."