Caroline Hutt Profile picture
Jan 26 11 tweets 3 min read
People's 'out of office' messages can be fascinating. Here are ten of my favourite types....a thread! #outofoffice #corporatelife #officelife #wednesdaythought
1/10) The Unhelpful: “I’m currently out of the office”

Okay, really useful. Care to provide any more details? Or is this a deliberate ploy to avoid any work being sent your way?
2/10) The offloader:. “I’m currently out of the office but do contact my colleague Priya who will be happy to help”

She won’t, trust me. Priya’s got enough on her plate.
3/10) The grudge-bearer: “I no longer work for Universal Logistics. Please send all enquiries to Janet”

Translation: I’ve always hated Janet and this is my last chance to make her life a living hell”
4/10) The diary nightmare: “Please note I only work between 9am and 12pm on a Monday, from midnight until 2am on a Tuesday, from 4pm to 6pm on a Wednesday and every second Friday (unless Mars is in retrograde)”.

Tell you what Karen, why don't YOU just call ME!
5/10) The apologiser: “I’m sorry but I’m out of the office on holiday.”

Gwen, you’ve worked 50 hours per week for the last 16 years, only taking one day off in 2003 for your father’s funeral. I think you’re entitled to a spa day with Margaret.
6/10) The over-zealous: “I’m currently on holiday but will be checking my emails periodically.”

Carlos, for God’s sake, you’re on your honeymoon in the Bahamas. Put down the phone and pick up a Mai Tai.
7/10 The ‘there’s clearly more to this story’: “Craig is no longer under our employ”.

Ooooh. What did Craig do?!
8/10) The gusher: “I’m truly sad to announce today is my last day at Generic Sales Ltd after 30 happy years, having made lifetime friendships with the best people”.

Trev, you’d not even pressed ‘send’ on this email before people were asking, ‘Who’s Trevor?”
9/10) The AWOL: “Hi, I’m away from the office, back on Monday 6th April 2015, Regards, Bob”.

Err, has anyone thought to check on Bob in the last six and a half years??”
& 10/10) The smug retiree: “I've now retired. You’ll find me pursuing my life-long dream of interrailing around Europe whilst conducting my own wine-tasting study.”
Thanks Brenda. Some of us still have 30+ years to go and that’s really cheered me up. In fact, pass the wine. :-)

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