Look at my beautiful dog enjoying a ride in the country.
There’s only one small problem…
That isn’t my dog.
Out in the middle of a preserve. See this sweet pup walking alone through the snow. No one around.
So, I pull over to check for a collar. Sweet pup sidles over for a scratch.
So, I’m like “Let me look for something I can use as a leash.”
Open the car door, pup jumps right in and lays down.
Okay, that works too, I guess.
Now I need to find the owners.
This dog is the sweetest dog ever.
A bit unhurried though. Not in a particular rush to get home.
I’m driving up and down the road in this preserve thinking maybe her owner is around. Meanwhile, my hitchhiker is just having the timeof her life.
I’m going to call her Hitch.
I’m thinking Hitch could maybe help a little with this endeavor.
She’s not interested.
She’s just lounging like this is a cruise.
So I’m like, I better ask the few people I pass if this is their dog.
See someone, pull up, roll down window, “excuse me. Are you looking for a dog?”
Person jumps, startled, and looks at me like I’m trying fence a stolen dog.
And Hitch, naturally, is like “I’m just gonna choose this moment to scooch all low so she can’t even see that there even is a dog in this car. LOL.”
Adorable. Sweet. Loving dog.
Not excellent at search and rescue work.
This isn’t working. The driving around thing.
There is no one around.
Plus, even if someone passes me, I have no idea if they’re looking for this dog and they have no idea I have this dog.
So, now, I’m thinking I gotta continue this mission on foot.
I don’t have a leash though. I’ll have to improvise.
Maybe someone will drive by looking for this dog. There’s a visitor center, I’ll try there.
Don’t mind me. I’m just a man walking not-his-dog on a golf bag strap.
The Visitor Center is closed. Naturally.
I’m down to few options other than call the police and turn Hitch in which I really don’t want to do.
Things can go wrong that way. Owners search all over. Dog ends up in a shelter while the owners grow more worried. That’s bad for all.
And now I figure Hitch must be a local. Got loose from some house within a mile of where I found her.
And I’m down to bargaining now. Full-on talking to Hitch as if the issue here is a failure to agree on the plan.
“Okay, I’m going to drive down the nearest roads once…”
“…and you’re going to pay attention and give me a bark if you see your house, okay?”
Hitch: 👀
And off we go.
“Anything look familiar?”
Hitch: 👀
“You aren’t even trying.”
Hitch: 👀
So, I call the police department on the tag and get transferred around a bit.
Explain I have the most adorable dog and want to get it home. Give them the numbers on the tag.
They can tell me to bring it to them while they try to call the owner.
Sigh. Okay. I guess.
Pull up to the back of the station, put Hitch on her golf-bag-strap leash, take one last picture, and give her a pep talk.
“They’re gonna get you home, okay. Don’t you worry.”
Hitch is like “Have I seemed worried to you?”
That is a very good dog. A most excellent dog.
Walk up to the back entrance. Person I talked to on the phone waves me in, looks at my Calloway golf bag strap leash, laughs, and unhooks Hitch who then goes running in like she knows the place.
Person: “That’s Bridget.”
Me: 😲… 😃…Found her owners?!”
“We know them.”
As it turns out, both of Bridget’s parents work for the Rescue Squad and are at work.
Bridget’s home is maybe a mile from where I found her. Must have gotten out somehow.
She’s headed home when her parents get off work.
Hurray!
Love that dog.
Left my number in case they ever need a dog sitter. 😊
Bridget is one good pup.
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A year ago, I posted this message out of the loneliness of another COVID Friday night.
In a pretty wild turn of events, the lead singer of the Spin Doctors, @thechrisbarron, replied and then jumped on Instagram Live to play guitar sitting on his bed at home.
This is a real by the wife of a 31-yr old father of two who is absolutely going to blow through hundreds of thousands of dollars of medical care and then die because he refused to be vaccinated DESPITE BEING 100% CERTAIN TO DIE OTHERWISE.
These idiots are evolutionary failures.
These stupid effing assholes are clogging up the medical system demanding the husband be given the most precious of MEDICAL GIFTS - A HEART TRANSPLANT - while also being such abject fucking morons, they’re rejecting the MEDICAL GIFT of a safe, effective vaccine.
And as if that wasn’t bad enough, these dipshits have gathered a small group of people to PROTEST IN FRONT OF THE HOSPITAL.
Listen, I was not raised to feel in any way obligated to care about antisocial assholes who would happily harm their community.
I mean, how hollowed out, sociopathic, and obnoxious does a person need to be to think “Here is a chance for me to use my cancer to show that I don’t care about other people with cancer… or other people at all, really.”
We need to stop giving ink to these Grade A assholes.
Now, bear in mind, Kaitlin is the same piece of shit who tried to use Amy Klobuchar’s father’s alcoholism to shame Klobuchar.
Kaitlin is an asshole in an outfit from Ann Taylor. Privileged, selfish, awful.