Since EVA 3.0, I had been quite confused by Kaworu's feelings for Shinji. Sure, it is nice to have someone who tells you "I was born to meet you" and even carries your cross for you. But what kind of love is that?
#Evangelion#エヴァ
(2/17)
...
3.0+1.0 finally gave us the answer
"Kaworu-kun, you are like my father."
Many people have pointed out the similarities between Kaworu and Gendou so I will not repeat what I assume you have already known
#Evangelion#エヴァ
(3/17)...I just want to speak from the perspective of both parents and kids -- the only people who are willing to give up their lives for you are your parents. Not your lovers. Not your kids
Parents usually impose on you what they think is the best for you…
#Evangelion#エヴァ
(4/17)
...
Unfortunately, in many cases, they misunderstand what you really want or what’s really the best for you
But kids just accept what the parents tell them to do (to pull out the two spears and reset the world) out of ignorance and/or desperation...
#Evangelion#エヴァ
(5/17)...That's exactly what happened in Q: the parent figure took the object (DSS choker) symbolizing sin and punishment from the kid, carried it himself, tried to clean up what the kid had messed up, but failed & had himself killed, leaving the kid in PTSD
#Evangelion#エヴァ
(6/17)
...
Remember what Kaworu said to Shinji right before he died?
"Shinji, you need to find a place to rest that you can call your own"
In 3.0+1.0, while repenting in his tiny room on AAA Wunder, Shinji envisioned Kaworu saying the same words to him. Maybe it was just memory resurfacing, or it was actually Kaworu's soul speaking to him directly
#Evangelion#エヴァ
(8/17)... Shinji told Kaworu:"You are right, Kaworu-kun"
What prompted him to finally respond to Kaworu's final words?
Asuka & Mari stepped out of the room a moment ago
And a key event just took place in this tiny room: Asuka's love confession to Shinji
#Evangelion#エヴァ
(9/17)
...
So that's the ties that had guided Shinji all the way here
I will elaborate on the "ties" later, here I want to focus on Kaworu
I think it was till this point that Kaworu started to understand what’s really good for Shinji
#Evangelion#エヴァ
(10/17)... Then, in the final instrumentality part, Kaworu asked Shinji what he wished for
Shinji said: "I am ok, as much as it is painful, I think I will be fine. Instead [of pitying myself], I want to save Asuka and others" (my own translation)
#Evangelion#エヴァ
(11/17)
...
Kaworu answered: "I see. You've already been able to stand back up in the real world, not just in the imaginary one"
(Take note of the dichotomy of imaginary and reality here, it is very important and I will explain it in the future)
#Evangelion#エヴァ
(12/17)...At this point, Kaworu finally understood what Shinji really wanted
That's why after Shinji force ejected Asuka's entry plug, Kaworu asked him:"She is gone. Won't you be lonely?" (Or, Won't you miss her? Depending on how you want to translate 寂しい
And Shinji answered "I am fine" even though his face belies everything but fine (just look at him)
Then, in Kaworu's own instrumentality scene, he apologized to Shinji
"Sorry, I misunderstood your happiness"
#Evangelion#エヴァ
(14/17)
...
And Kaji told Kaworu: "You didn't want Shinji to be happy, you just wanted his happiness to make you happy."
How insightful, Kaji-san!
Parental love can be controlling at times, but trust me, parents are happy when the kids are happy.
#Evangelion#エヴァ
(15/17)
...Like Kaworu’s many reincarnations, parenting is also a long journey of trial and error. Parents make as many bad decisions as good decisions for kids, though all out of good intentions
Kaworu was happy that Shinji finally found his own happiness…
#Evangelion#エヴァ
(16/17)...Meanwhile, you can’t deny that he is sad to see Shinji finally grown up
When Kaworu asks Shinji if he will feel lonely or if he will miss Asuka, the same question is also meant for himself:
Will I feel lonely, now that you have grown up?
#Evangelion#エヴァ
(17/17)
...
In an interview after 3.0+1.0, the voice actor of Kaworu, Ishida Akira, says he thinks that for Shinji, Kaworu is no longer needed.
It is very sad for a parent. But it also means -- well done, dad
Lastly, to my own dad: I love you
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