Thread by @SimonFRCox

this exchange between the wacky liars running my country reminds me of one of the strangest asylum appeal hearings I did.🧵 1/

My client’s case for refugee status was that he had been a fighter in a long running civil war. The Home Office didn’t believe him for their usual reason of supposed discrepancies between different interviews and statements.

At the appeal hearing the immigration judge, who had a notoriously eccentric approach to judging and fancied himself as a military expert, took a different tack.

Interrupting the Home Office cross-examination, he started asking my client detailed questions about combat. This lead to

“The AK47 is notorious for jamming - how was that solved?”

I had not prepared for this aspect of the facts.

My client was unfazed.

“Well sir, loop the magazine over the shoulder - that usually solves the jamming”

(My pulse was racing - but judge begins to beam)

Client: but those AKs are Chinese T-56s which don’t jam as mu

Judge can’t wait any longer, he interrupts announcing

“I’ve heard enough Mr Cox, your client is obviously telling the truth, I’m allowing this appeal!”

(Immigration judges never do that mid-evidence, well other ones don’t)

My client tops that though

He leaps to his feet, salutes the immigration judge and standing stiffly to attention declares

“I’d like to join the British Army, SIR!”

Judge (now beaming so broadly he can hardly speak):

“Fine fellow, you should speak to the Home Office Presenting Officer about that.

(turning to me)

Well Mr Cox, I think that concludes this appeal.”

And so it did. //

PS no prizes for guessing the judge