Thread by @kateneuropsych

THIS: y'all really just don't get how WP splayed out across all domains of US daily life are SELF ORGANIZING BASED ON WS FASCST IDEOLOGY who vehemently oppose democracy & equality as sanctified by God $ P&P & guns

US Evangelical Christians Docu...

@docrocktex26
THREAD: I had a run in with evangelical Christians by the time I was 12. I had a rough childhood there's no question about that.. at some point I formed a friendship with the mom of a school friend who seemed so nice and offered me the kind of family warmth mine
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lacked. About 1 months in she started talking to me more and more about how I needed to be saved and things would get better. Well ok I thought I'm on board for that but the more she talked the more questions I had. Primarily that Im supposed to be afraid of the devil but
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adult people were who I'd had problems with and I knew there were lots of kids like me. Apparently they weren't yet born again which explained why these adult people were mean (right?).
And well what about all the nice people I knew who WERE NOT BORN AGAIN? So after a while I
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asked her what happens to "people who aren't saved" her answer was immediate, they had their choice and they chose wrong so they all go to hell. What about people who never even heard of "the good news"? And what about good people doing good in the world who were not
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Christian; does God have no love in his heart for them who are doing his work in another way? Again her answer was immediate, sharp and unyielding; "they had their choice and they chose wrong so they all go to hell." I felt so kicked in the gut I could barely see straight.

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She also proceded to recite the long list of people who would go to hell because they were of the devil. GONE WAS ANY NICENESS IN HER EYES OR FACIAL EXPRESSION and no matter what I said or how I asked her these questions her rigidity was absolute: THERE WAS NO GIVE.
She
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then preceded to tell me when the great ascension came, I too would be left here on earth in hell unless I was baptized and born again.

Very shortly I found myself in tears yelling "if I have enough love for all people and if I'm made by God then surely he has far more love
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than I could ever imagine. My God is a god of love who loves ALL HIS CHILDREN so I'm staying here with those "left behind" because I don't want to belong to a God that's so cruel he would lock people out of heaven because they didn't do what he said" and ran out of
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the house. Of course I was terrified.. Id never really yelled at an adult before and I knew I'd just shattered the warmth of a friendship that was a necessary resource for me at that time in my life to BUT I JUST COULD NOT RECONCILE that kind of instant immediate love hate as
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sanctified by a God I not only didn't understand but wanted no parts of.

And altho for very different reasons (reasons I did not at the time recognize), her immediate love hate schism WAS A REPEAT OF WHAT LIVED WITH AT HOME already and I had no trust for that.

I avoided
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her for months because I knew how she would treat me and that wound was just too fresh.

It wasn't just the loss of the relationship that hurt THE REAL TRUAMA came from realizing that she could be so full of warmth and fun while simultaneously being so full of cold hate
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and feel absolutely justified about it. THAT WAS SCARY AF.
When I finally did see her she walked past me as if I were a ghost... I was dead to her and contrary to what I'd feared I felt hugely relieved.

I was safe. I would never be locked in the prison she chose;
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day in day out. But why? Clearly she wasn't happy. I knew already that NO ONE COULD HATE THAT HARD OR WITH THAT MUCH SURENESS AND BE HAPPY.
I thought how close I'd come to that but then realized yet again, my heart would always save me if I only had the
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courage to follow it.

I also knew 20 years could pass with her treating me as a ghost but if I went to her house and said ok I want to be born again...She'd welcome me with the open arms of a prison trying to lure me with what ever bait I was hungry for and once I
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gave in, I would quickly be swallowe up and drown in the embedded cruelty.
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End

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