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David Burge Profile picture
@iowahawkblog
Feb 10, 2022 • 14 tweets • 3 min read • Read on X
Scrolly
Not sure I'd recommend siphoning diesel fuel or slashing a steel belted retread under 100 psi, but you're the expert Professor Tow Truck
I think the Fightin' 101st Tire Slashers may need a little training before we send 'em in
Once we slash the tires and empty the fuel tanks, how do we remove the trucks? Easy, put on a Harvard Hogwarts robe, wave your wand, and cast the ol' "Truckus Removem" spell
Another bold plan from the Harvard Institute for Removing Giant Trucks From Bridges Image
Gotta say I did not have "Land War With Canada" on my 2022 bingo card.

I recommend we launch the Marine invasion during the Olympic curling final, when they're all distracted
They will greet us as liberators, with flowers and Tim Horton's donuts
Don't worry, this plan has all been war-gamed out by Harvard's Best and Brightest on the Kennedy School rec room rug, with Tonka trucks and GI Joe action figures
Of course we will need a brilliant, battle-hardened Patton to lead Operation Truck Stop Image
triggered by, milking the rich inexhaustible comedic value of, tomay-toh, tomah-toh

My plan to clear trucks off the bridge? Announce $1 lap dances at all the Windsor titty bars. But hey don't listen to me, I didn't go to Harvard
yeah, in high school I used to change split rim truck tires at Ben Fish & Son in Sioux City. Closest thing I've experienced to a D-Day invasion. Ceiling had circle marks in it from rim pops
Hear me out on this: we should send covert CIA operatives to fund a proxy war by exploiting the long-simmering tribal tensions between the Canadian Big Rig Drivers and the Canadian Big Rig Tow Truck Drivers
Truly the Clausewitz of impotent faculty lounge rage
I'm beginning to think we need to start de-escalating this trucker situation

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More from @iowahawkblog

David Burge Profile picture
Jul 26
Today's Dave's Car ID Service pays tribute to Googie, the exuberant late 1940s to mid 1960s architecture style that sprung forth from car culture.

Roadside vernacular architecture, like giant teapots and teepee motels along Route 66, goes back to the 1920s. I've covered those charming spots in the past, and will elaborate on them more in the future. But Googie (so named for a Los Angeles coffee shop that was an early adopter of the style) was the apotheosis of Roadside Vernacular: the sign is the building is the sign, dramatic angles and curves, bright colors, boomerangs and starbursts and swirling Space Age atoms. It had the right dynamic for the New Frontier.

Googie is not really "Midcentury Modern," as it lacks the detached cool reserve of MCM. MCM is "less is more," Googie is "make cars want to stop here." And it was very successful in doing so, especially in Los Angeles.

Among my favorite LA Googie redoubts is Norm's Coffee Shop, 470 N. La Cienega. It was designed in 1957 by Armet & Davis to look like a car showroom, and has since remained an LA icon. It has even inspired fine art; notably (3) Ed Ruscha's "Norm's, La Cienega, On Fire" (1964).

And it's been a staple of films and movies, most recently "Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die" (2025). They didn't use the actual spot in that case though, but build a replica of Norm's in South Africa for filming.

Not long ago there was talk of Norm's on La Cienega being converted to a Raising Cane's but the proposal was thankful withdrawn due to public outcry. That'd be like converting Fallingwater into a Chipoltle.Image
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Here's the eponymous Googie's Coffee Shop at 8100 Sunset Blvd that gave its name to the architeture style, designed in 1949 by a young go-getter architect named John Lautner. Lautner would go on to become one of the most important architects of the midcentury.

Among Lautner's later works were the Sheats-Goldstein House (2, 1963) in Beverly Crest, which you may remember as the Jackie Trehorn house in the Big Lebowski. Also the Elrod House Palm Springs (3, 1968) which you may remember from the 007 classic "Diamonds Are Forever."Image
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But the true specialist in eyecatching-at-35-miles-per-hour Googie was the young LA firm of Louis Armet and Eldon Davis. And their superstar designer was young Chinese-American Helen Liu Fong, a UCLA and Berkeley trained architect. She was 24 when she was hired as a draftsman (draftswoman?) in 1951 by Armet & Davis, and quickly became the lead on projects like Norm's, The Clock in Westchester CA, The Holiday Bowl, Johnnie's, and the still-going Pann's at 6710 La Tijera near LAX.Image
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Read 25 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Jul 8
FFS am I the only person on this hellsite with a rudimentary grasp of the working class
I don't know who needs to know this, but if you really, really want to understand "the working class" the absolute worst people to ask are from academia
As far as I can tell Platner was discovered by some DSA talent scout who went into a faux hipster dive bar in DC, and there was a gruff butch tatted up bartender spouting some shit about Israel, and they were like "fuck yeah, I found our working class Elvis"
Read 4 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Jul 5
Happy Independence Day weekend! The occasion of America's 250th birthday called for a special Dave's Car ID Service commemoration, and I decided a big one: what is singularly the greatest American car ever made?

There are plenty of candidates for the car who best embodies America's spirit. The Ford Model T, industrious, thrifty, reliable, for the everyman pulling himself up by his own bootstraps; the Willys MB Jeep, fiesty, rugged, itching to join the fight; the 1959 Cadillac, a brash, bold, over-the-top movie star tycoon unafraid to show it off; the 1965 Ford Mustang, optimistic and forever young.

Nope. All are fine vehicles and deserve a place on the Mount Rushmore of automobiles. But this honor calls for something very, very special.Image
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To me the choice for the car that best embodies the spirit of America is... the Spirit of America.

Duhh.

Not merely a groaner of a punchline here. Craig Breedlove's land speed racing icon truly deserves recognition as a self-flattering avatar of American individualism, skill, and daring.

There were actually 3 Spirits of America; the original 3-wheeler built in 1963, first car to break the 400 and 500 mph barriers; the 1965 4 wheel Spirit of America Sonic 1, the first car to break 600 mph; and the 1992 Spirit of America Sonic Arrow, which unsuccessfully challenged the sound barrier.

And I shan't neglect a mention of Ohio feed mill operator Art Arfons and his Green Monster, who battled back and forth with Breedlove and his Spirits of America for the title of fastest car in the world during the 1960s. It was a ground-bound Space Race, a competition that yielded mind boggling speed achievements over a short period of time.Image
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It's not merely the records that made the Spirit of America the spirit of America. It was its making.

For decades land speed racing was the province of the landed British gentry. Heroic and dashing, to be sure, but men of wealth and Oxbridge education and connections. Men like Sir Malcom Campbell, George Eyston, and John Cobb, who died setting the world land speed record of 394 mph in 1947. Their land speed records involved massive, well funded, and highly organized efforts. It would be foolhardy to believe an average Joe would have any prayer of

Craig Breedlove? A Southern California drag racer who worked as a welder and fabricator in a Santa Monica speed shop. Highest degree achieved: a diploma from Venice High School. Cobb's 394 mph record was set when Breedlove was 10 years old, and still stood in 1962 when he was 25 and began building the Spirit of America with a $500 Korean War surplus General Electric J47 turbojet engine.

And it was built in his dad's driveway. A true marvel of bootstrap, shade tree mechanics, just a hot rod dude and his pals pitching in to build something that blew away records, and people's minds.

That right there is why, to me, the Spirit of America is 100% worthy of its name. I don't want to overstate the budget constraints Breedlove faced; in the end the project cost $250k, about $2 million in today money, largely underwritten by Shell and Goodyear. But it really did begin as you see here - a crazy, cheap, volunteer driveway project. The word spread, attracting sponsors.

But I defy you to name another country where such a project could occur. Hey gang! Let's put on a world speed record! It's the same kind of garage born spirit that still drives America's dominance in technology.Image
Read 26 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Jul 2
This is literally insane: every time you buy WNBA merch with her name on it, each of the goons who eye-gouge and throat-punch her gets more money from it than she does.
Let's start with this tidbit: 7x increase in merch sales, 11x increase in player-specific merch sales between 2023 and 2024. You'd have to be absolutely delusional not to credit Clark for at least 80% of that growth. Image
The WNBA won't release total merch sales by player, but you're nuts if you can't accept that at least 2/3 of all player-specific merch sales are hers.

On the "WNBA store" site there are a number of Clark-specific jerseys ranging from $40-$130:

wnbastore.nba.com/indiana-fever/…
Read 8 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Jun 28
Today's Dave's Car ID Service pays homage to the wild body graphics of the Muscle Car Era, starting with the GOAT - the Pontiac Firebird Trans Am Screaming Chicken.

Coincidentally enough, today is also the 60th birthday of the Firebird. In a way. On June 28, 1966, Chevy's Pete Estes held a press conference announcing a new car line to battle the Ford Mustang, code name XP-836, and its name would be "Camaro." Pontiac was the only other GM division that would get the platform, with slightly different styling and powered by a Pontiac engine, under the the Firebird name.

From 1967-68 the Firebird sort of languished in the shadow of its Camaro cousin, but it did have some success in Trans Am road racing by privateers. "Trans Am" is short for Trans America, a series for sub 5 liter (302 cubic inch) stock cars.

Anyhoo to mark that success Pontiac rolled out the Trans Am option package for Firebird in 1969. At first it was fairly restrained; Cunningham-style blue hood stripes over white. But designer Bill Porter, inspired by an abstract design on a Tiffany vase, sketched out what he thought would be a cool graphic cue for the next gen Firebird, which was honed by Norm Inouye.

Porter taped the graphic to the hood of the styling studio clay model to gauge the reaction of GM's head styling honcho Bill Mitchell. It did not go well, as Mitchell allegedly let loose with a string of profanities. But it did appear on the 1970-72 Trans Ams, albeit as a very small decal on the nose.

In 1971 a persistent GM designer named John Schinella decided to re-present the idea to Mitchell. He noted that Mitchell rode a custom Yamaha bike painted black and gold in graphics like the John Player Special F1 car. Schinella applied an enormous Screaming Chicken decal on a black Firebird, parked it next to Mitchell's custom Yamaha.

This time Mitchell relented, and the idea was approved. The first 3 "hood birds" are in top secret August 1971 photo (1). They were offered for sale in September 1972 with the rollout of the 1973 model year. Not all Trans Ams had them, it was optional graphics package code WW7. But the buying public clamored for them.

And why not? It's exactly the kind of statement that the kind of person who wanted a Trans Am wanted to make. Loud, brash, unapologetic, a 10 minute Free Bird guitar solo on wheels. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!Image
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Pontiac wasn't unique, or first, in offering bold decal graphics. Chrysler built branding around the "Scat Pack" concept, like the 1968 Dodge Super Bee and little brother Dodge Dart Swinger. By 1970 the was an entire panoply of bold decal options for Dodges and Plymouths; AAR stripes (2), "billboard stripes" (3), and "hockey sticks" (4).Image
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Mopar's branding success begat imitators, like Ford's Boss and Mach 1 Mustang packages for 1969. AMC offered an entire line of bold patriotic paint schemes for 1969, including the AMX Super Stock, the Rebel, and Hurst SC/Rambler (2). Even the Trans Am's GM stablemate Chevy Camaro got a freak flag hood decal in 1974.

By the end of the 1970s it sort of went from the sublime to the ridiculous. Witness the rebadged Mitsubishi Plymouth Fire Arrow for 1979.

The Trans Am Screaming Chicken soldiered on into the 90s, but for the most part those kinds of bold graphics faded away in the wake of OPEC oil shortages and performance-throttling emission controls. Just as fashion tamed down, so did the wild paint and decals.

Why? Among street racers, there is deep respect for "sleepers" - cars that look unsuspectingly mild and frumpy but underneath are incredibly powerful and fast. By the mid 1970s these graphic package cars were the opposite - loudly proclaiming power and speed, but underneath a scant 120 wimpy catalytic converted horsepower. All hat / no cattle as it were.

Oh but it was a giddy time, even if the graphics were ironic.Image
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Read 15 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Jun 27
Today's #DavesCarIDService risks treason by sharing some of America's top secret roadside attractions with visiting soccer fans. But it seems the shock and awe of BBQ and Buc-ee's has resulted in their widespread surrender to American cultural might. Now that they seem friendly, I think it's finally safe for use to share the GOOD stuff. The roadside attraction equivalent of a secret cache of 85 year old Scotch. The kind of places we keep secret from strangers unless we have solid evidence that they're friendly.

First and foremost for me is the Loveless Cafe, just outside Nashville. One breakfast here and you will renounce your beloved Full English forever. And one biscuit (not a cookie, but the most sumptuous scone you've ever encountered) will make you slap yo' mama. I mean mum.Image
While Buc-ee's is admittedly a mindblower, you may notice that it lacks one thing: trucks. Yep, big rigs are verbotten there. For the full American road trip experience one must make a pilgrimage to a truck stop, and the greatest of all is in my home state of Iowa. Mister this right here is Trucker Valhalla, complete with a barber shop, dentist and doctor offices, a 60 seat movie theater, and spectacular vintage truck museum. Not to mention endless rows of wolves-howling-at-moons t shirts and chrome dress up accessories for you big rig.

Oh, and bring an appetite. Not for the fast food joints, but for the acclaimed all you can eat diner buffet.Image
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Now that you've sampled Texas BBQ brisket, it's time to level up your Texas cuisine experience with a stop at the Big Texan Steakranch on the outskirts of Amarillo. Well, level up in size if not in quality. Behold their Texas-sized 72 ounce steak. Best of all, it's FREE!

Small print: you have to eat the whole thing in 60 minutes to get the 100% discount off the $72 list price. Who knows? Maybe you'll be among the 10,000 heroes who've successfully reached the top of Mount Free Meat. That's only about an 8% success rate but c'mon chicken, you're DUE.

Afterwards you can celebrate with a stop at nearby Cadillac Ranch.Image
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Read 4 tweets

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