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David Burge Profile picture
@iowahawkblog
Feb 10, 2022 • 14 tweets • 3 min read • Read on X
Not sure I'd recommend siphoning diesel fuel or slashing a steel belted retread under 100 psi, but you're the expert Professor Tow Truck
I think the Fightin' 101st Tire Slashers may need a little training before we send 'em in
Once we slash the tires and empty the fuel tanks, how do we remove the trucks? Easy, put on a Harvard Hogwarts robe, wave your wand, and cast the ol' "Truckus Removem" spell
Another bold plan from the Harvard Institute for Removing Giant Trucks From Bridges Image
Gotta say I did not have "Land War With Canada" on my 2022 bingo card.

I recommend we launch the Marine invasion during the Olympic curling final, when they're all distracted
They will greet us as liberators, with flowers and Tim Horton's donuts
Don't worry, this plan has all been war-gamed out by Harvard's Best and Brightest on the Kennedy School rec room rug, with Tonka trucks and GI Joe action figures
Of course we will need a brilliant, battle-hardened Patton to lead Operation Truck Stop Image
triggered by, milking the rich inexhaustible comedic value of, tomay-toh, tomah-toh

My plan to clear trucks off the bridge? Announce $1 lap dances at all the Windsor titty bars. But hey don't listen to me, I didn't go to Harvard
yeah, in high school I used to change split rim truck tires at Ben Fish & Son in Sioux City. Closest thing I've experienced to a D-Day invasion. Ceiling had circle marks in it from rim pops
Hear me out on this: we should send covert CIA operatives to fund a proxy war by exploiting the long-simmering tribal tensions between the Canadian Big Rig Drivers and the Canadian Big Rig Tow Truck Drivers
Truly the Clausewitz of impotent faculty lounge rage
I'm beginning to think we need to start de-escalating this trucker situation

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More from @iowahawkblog

David Burge Profile picture
Nov 17
A happy #DavesCarIDService 95th birthday to Scuderia Ferrari, established Nov 16 1929 in Modena Italy. Not Ferrari the brand, but Ferrari the racing organization that was at first a semi-official arm of Alfa Romeo. Shown here in their 1932 yearbook photo, an Alfa 8c and 6C. Image
Enzo Ferrari was still a successful racing driver of Alfa Romeos in 1929, and Alfa had its own in house racing arm, Alfa Corse. But by the late 20s the expense of a factory racing team was becoming untenable and Alfa was wavering on further support.

Ferrari, who had already been given an Alfa dealership in appreciation for his racing success, made a proposal: he would start his own scuderia (stable) to race Alfas under his banner. If he won the credit would go to Alfa, if he lost the blame would go to him. Alfa took him up on the proposal and offered support, including parts, a salary, and garage rent. To make a distinction between the bright red Alfa Corse racing cars, the first Scuderia Ferrari cars would be a darker burgundy red.

Enzo Ferrari would retire as a driver in 1932 after the birth of his son Dino to dedicate full time to his racing organization. That was also the first year the Ferrari prancing horse would appear on one of his racing Alfas, inspired by the one used on the SPAD S.XIII of Italian WW1 ace Francesco Baracca.Image
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And a success it was: Ferrari's upstart Scuderia scored an astonishing 144 wins in 225 races from 1930 until its liquidation in 1937. By 1936 the Alfa Tipo 12C would be sporting a V12, which would evolve into the trademark engine setup for later Ferraris. Alfa bought up the organization from Enzo Ferrari and subsumed it into their factory team.

It was bittersweet for him, but it made him rich - rich enough to start his own ground up company, Auto Avio Construzioni (in #2, the last remaining Auto Avio 815, the only model it produced). Postwar the first Ferrari branded car, the 125S (#3) would appear in 1946, followed by the 166 Barchetta ("little boat") in 1949. For you Rush fans, it's pronounced "bar KETT ah" not "bar CHET a."Image
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Read 18 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Nov 15
I'm not sure who needs to hear this but the government's absolute bungled lunatic response to COVID and the "vaccines" that weren't vaccines does not require you to stage a Year Zero bonfire of all previous medical research and seek advice from The 4Chan Journal of Anecdotes
Excited to hear your thoughts on the scourge of chemtrails and the "spherical Earth" hypothesis, do you have a newsletter
While you're being all skeptical and doing your own research on the Big Pharma conspiracy, spare a few minutes of skepticism and do your own research on Big Ambulance Chaser RFK
Read 9 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Nov 11
Stopped by Beau & Dave’s clubhouse to see my ol’ nemesis the Orbitron Image
The Roach Coach, designed by Ed Newton/ built by Dan Woods & Jim Jacobs in 1972-77. Powered by a Ford DOHC Indy engine. Built for Roach Industries of T-shirt and “Odd Rods” sticker fame Image
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The most Freudian car ever, the Pink Panthermobile. Promo show car for the Pink Panther Saturday morning cartoon Image
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Read 7 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Nov 8
How long is it still cool to shoplift $999 of merchandise in California? Asking for a friend
The thing that irks me about the $1000 shoplifting limit is it forces people to do math while in a hurry. What if they innocently grabbed $1027 of stuff, and now have to go to jail because they forgot to carry the 1 or something?
Honestly I think there should be like a 5% margin of error leniency, or at least return the $30 item that pushed them over. That way everybody is happy
Read 7 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Nov 6
I can't believe the chicken entrails were wrong
There were models and graphs and everything
Not even the Gold Standard Mysterious Iowa Lady could have forseen this Image
Read 12 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Oct 30
She must complete the 30 minute LinkedIn training video How Not To Leak Israeli Military Plans to Iran before being reinstated as head of the US Department of Not Leaking Israeli Military Plans
Hi, I'm Dave Burge of DaveCo Security Solutions. In this informative training video we'll look at ways you, and your organization, can avoid sending sensitive Israeli military plans to Iran. Afterwards there will be a brief quiz to check you comprehension. Ready? Let's go!
In the following scenario, Bob and Margaret are at a coffee shop discussing some sensitive Israeli military planning documents, while using the coffee shop's unsecured wi-fi.
Read 7 tweets

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