Thread by @vikSchandra

I’m old enough to remember that not so long ago in my town and extended family, girls wearing jeans were frowned upon. There was a time when Daughter-in-laws ditching saree for a salwar-kamiz would invariably invite terse comments from the elders. Today when my nieces choose 1/n

to wear shorts or leggings her parents don’t bat an eye lid. Even then, their outfits have to be approved by the parents whenever they step out of the house. A lot has changed perhaps, some things haven’t. 2/n

What definitely hasn’t changed is that it’s always the women, who are policed on what they can wear and what not. 20 years ago I saw a random kid in baniyan & shorts shout publicly in the playground “Didi aapka dupatta kaha hai?” 3/n

It was enough for the girl many years elder to him to go deep red with shame. Just for the piece of cloth she kept aside for a few minutes so that she could play unhindered. It still happens, in this day and age. 4/n

Girls in every household grow up having bn tutored many times over on what to wear & what to cover. And every toddler in banyan & shorts who goes about policing girls on their outfit grows up to be one of those entitled misogynistic creep of the kind we’re seeing in Karnataka 5/n

Randomly waking up one day and deciding that a girl’s headscarf is something to be offended by. That’s what a Hijab is - a headscarf. It’s not an alien piece of cloth. They’ve been around for ages, sprinkled in the crowd, modest enough so as to hardly draw any attention. 6/n

Till now at least. In my living memory I’ve always seen them around me, but never felt uncomfortable or triggered by them. May be I was raised wrong. I didn’t spend my childhood counting fallen dupattas, or noticing peeping bra straps. 7/n

But clearly enough people in my beloved country have. There’s no other explanation for this news to dominate air waves for so many days, and still raging. Or may be there is. The news cycle is manufactured for certain - on ground and on air - 8/n

- obviously there’s someone who’s benefiting from this polarisation. Nowadays it’s a given. Shashwat satya. What we need to ask ourselves is why this polarisation in the first place? It’s just a head scarf, get over it.

Or may be not. 9/n

Well intentioned people have written about how Hijab is regressive and it should be banned. One section of them cannot be taken seriously as they’re the same ones who want faith to overrule reason when it comes to Sabarimala, and are “happy to wait”. 10/n

Still there are enough reasonable voices who have always championed women’s emancipation unequivocally - if other women can live without chador/burqa/hijab, why should only the muslim women submit to it? Absolutely valid point, when seen in absolution. 11/n

No girl can deny that it’s for her own emancipation. But then why aren’t the muslim girls & women going gaga over this? Why aren’t they coming out in droves supporting this? This state-sponsored-aadhaar-enabled reform can only do them good, can’t they see? 12/n

Is it because they are radicalised? Are they less radicalised than those lumpen goons who are creating a ruckus inside and outside the campus over something that’s got nothing to do with them, or more? I don’t know for sure. Ask them, the girls. 13/n

But what I do know is that it is not possible to engage in any meaningful discussion over this unless you acknowledge the issue for what it fundamentally is - an act of BULLYING. Brazen and wanton act of bullying. Worse - this one is state sanctioned bullying. 14/n

Without acknowledging this, there’s no conversation. All of us get bullied, and each one reacts differently on being bullied. What’s universal though is the feeling of anger, despair and helplessness we feel when we are subjected to it. 15/n

It’s a bit difficult to explain to th girls that what business is it of random strangers to take objection to something that her parents approve of. Especially when it’s not provocative or attention seeking, is not meant to attract leering eyes or whistles & hoots on street 16/n

(every parents’ living nightmare). She may have seen her mother & grandmother wearing it - so she may consider it a normal accessory for her. It may be perpetuating a patriarchal construct of “women”, but so are ghoonghat and aanchal and ladies-hostel-night-curfew 17/n

and thousands of other things that are a part of lived reality of every woman in the subcontinent (and beyond). Where does one even begin? 18/n

To know what she really thinks, you’ll have to go talk to her, and when she starts speaking, you’ll have to take her on face value. Just like you have happily taken those losers on face value when they said they got offended by hijab. 19/n

No one went after those guys, grilled them or their parents on this ridiculously unreasonable stand that is now threatening to affect the education of those girls, no one put the guys in the dock and asked what goes of your father? 20/n

Just like in the beginning of the world God said let there be light, and then there was light, in 2022 AD they wake up and say I am offended, and then there is defence of that offence everywhere. 21/n

Assimilation is NOT erasure of identity (whatever that identity marker an individual has chosen for herself). Assimilation is NEVER done by force. Assimilation can only follow once we mutually respect each other, our differences and diversity. 22/n

That respect is the only bedrock for harmony. To live and let live. You can’t ban hijab and celebrate it as a historic reform. The circus being carried out is not for any assimilation mind you. 23/n

What we are instead seeing stems for the mindset that wants every other identity to go invisible. It’s the same mentality of “Tu mere saamne baith kaise gaya”. Few weeks ago a Dalit was shot dead because he was wearing new shoes and crossed an UC locality. 24/n

We are all too familiar with this, and maybe that’s why there is passive tacit acceptance of “Jo ho raha hai hone do” in the junta-at-large. 25/n

We as kids were never given a say on what to order in a restaurant or what clothes to buy to wear. All three brothers grudgingly wore shirts cut from the same cloth (Thaan, they used to call it), thinking that’s how it is. 26/n

Today, when I see my brother asking his 2 year old daughter what she wants to eat in the restaurant and which shoe she wants to wear while going out, I can see some invisible patterns emerging. A lot has indeed changed. 27/n

Attitudinal shifts take generations to precipitate, and are mostly a response to what you saw your parents do. You either want to repeat it, or you want to put an end to it. Finally, it boils down to individual choice and agency - as it should be. 28/n

Whenever we talk about what women should or should not wear, it is this agency that we have hijacked, which needs to be given back to them. 29/29
#HijabRow #HijabAurKitab