Thread by @pptsapper

"Alexa, play baby making music" is not what i ever ever ever ever ever ever want to hear through the wall from my neighbor's apartment

Ever

I rapidly changed and exited my apartment, headed to the gym. As I was getting in my car, my neighbor's boyfriend arrives home

I pause

Because there were definitely two sets of feet I heard going up the stairs

Male neighbor goes in the door. I pause from backing out of the driveway. I mean, I'm human, after all. Great drama calls to us.

And I want to know if I'm gonna come home to a burnt down house.

Neighbor dude comes back outside, gets some new pillows from his truck, disappears back inside. I wait. Again, I'm human.

But, dear reader, sad to report, I heard nothing else. I went to and returned from the gym, and nothing is on fire (except my knees), so I guess all is well?

All I know for sure is that I'm not gonna be making eye contact with my neighbors for a little while, and the landlord should invest in some better walls