I am absolutely exasperated with @NBCOlympics announcers' attempts at pronouncing Slavic/Russian names. It kills me to even listen to them try (or not even try) to do it. I wish I could compose a comprehensive guide to Russian names. I can't.
I will do a quick and dirty one...
Rule 1. English pronunciation norms NEVER apply. Russian names are transliterated directly and are meant to be read phonetically. Therefore, Anastasia is never an-as-TAY-shuh (it's an-as-tah-SEE-ya) and Ivan is never EYE-van (it's ee-VAHN)...
Just remember that in Russian every letter stands for its own sound, AND THAT SOUND ONLY. The "i" will always be pronounced as "ee", the "a" will always be pronounced as "ah" - no exceptions, no variations. The only thing that varies is the stress.
Consonants are self-explanatory
But do keep in mind that "zh" is pronounced as "g" in "giraffe" and "kh" (roughly) as "h" in "horse." The "ts" is basically the same sound as in "cats." The "shch" sound doesn't exist in English. Try to produce something like "sh" and "ch" in a quick succession...
Rule 2. There is no universal rule on where to put the stress, except that in female LAST names that end in "ina" the stress is NEVER on the "i." So, Nikitina is NOT nick-ee-TEE-na (it's nick-EAT-ee-na). But the "i" will be stressed in first names such as Galina or Karina...
The female last names that end in "ova", the stress can be virtually anywhere. Americans tend to always put it on the "o", but this only happens in some of them (Ivanova, Petrova, Kuznetsova, Kozlova), namely in those derived from male names where the stress was on the last "o."
In the male name Fyodorov, the stress is on the first syllable, so Fyodorova will stress the same one (FYO-doh-roh-vah). Stepanov stresses the middle syllable and so will its female equivalent Stepanova (step-AH-no-vah). The stress will NEVER be on the "a" in "ova", however.
The same pattern applies to female names ending in "eva" (Ryabtseva, Solntseva): the stress goes on the same syllable as in the equivalent male names.
In names ending in "yova" (or "yov" for men) the stress is ALWAYS on the "yo" syllable. Every single time, without exception.
In fact, the "yo" sound, which has its own letter, is always stressed, in all words.
Unfortunately, many Russian names with this sound are habitually misspelled (Fedorov instead of Fyodorov, Semin in stead of Syomin, Zhuravlev instead of Zhuravlyov) by sloppy passport officials.
This leads to understandable mistakes in pronunciation (when people see the name Semin, they tend to say SEM-in, instead of the proper SYOM-een), and there is no good remedy for this, other than just asking.
In fact, this would be my suggestion to @NBCOlympics and others: ASK!
That is Rule 3. Ask. Don't be lazy. Don't be condescending. Ask for the proper, native pronunciation. It is not a coincidence that @NBCOlympics figure skating announcers pronounce Russian names perfectly, while all the others butcher them. Russians command respect in fig skating.
Other athletes deserve the same respect and the same professionalism.
Ask. And specify that you want to know how the name is ACTUALLY pronounced, not what the athlete would be willing to settle for. Many will display false modesty and say "Call me what you want." Tell them...
... it's not about your wants or your convenience, it's about professionalism, factual correctness and respect for the audience.
Insist on the truth. Your job amounts to informing us about the athletes. Don't neglect the most basic part of the info.
And stop making my ears bleed.
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For someone who likes to study sports history, few things are as comically strange as watching pre-1990s hockey goalies or pre-1970s NFL kickers. Both are so surreally inept at what they are trying to do, all while managing to look exactly like 7-year-olds who will quit next year
I have no trouble imagining Pele dominating today's football. Or Babe Ruth lighting up modern pitchers. And even as I know Jesse Owens ran much slower than the slowest of today's elite sprinters, he didn't LOOK like he was running for the first and last time in his life...
But look at the most legendary 1960s goalies! Not one of them could stop a damn thing. If the puck is going knee-high, the best they can manage is to kinda swipe at it with their glove or stick. They look like cricketers who have wondered onto the ice after the tea break.
One last word on whether we, Jews, are a race.
Yes.
This is the word. Yes, we are. Unequivocally. Not open to discussion, but I can explain.
First of all: race is fake. It's a social construct, it has nothing to do with objective reality, it exists only insofar as we define it...
Colin Kapernick and Whoopi Goldberg look nothing alike and share almost no facial characteristics to put them in the same racial group, even the most loosely defined one.
Yet the are both classified as "black", because our society defines blackness as a comparison to white people
In America, you are black if you are not white. By the same token, a Greek person and a Dutch person look nothing alike at all, but both would be defined as "white" under the umbrella of some ambiguously understood "European culture", which, by definition, is a social construct.
This is your annual Black History Month reminder that Russia's most important poet, who has done for our literary language what Shakespeare has done for English, was a black man who was arrested and exiled for his political views and ultimately slain by a white officer.
Of course, our second most famous poet was a Scottsman who pursued the most Scottish career possible: teasing a fellow soldier mercilessly until the laddie shot him to death at 26.
Defending the white race one indignant comment (followed immediately by blocking Slava) at a time.
As an actual Democratic Socialist who knows quite well that Putin's regime stands in staunch opposition to everything I believe in, without a single exception, I am at a loss to understand where you idiots get the gall. I mean, seriously, shut the everloving fuck up.
Morons.
I mean, FUCK ME! Of all people to get into a hot, erotic embrace with Tucker Carlson, @DemSocialists just had to be the first idiots in line.
Well, yeah, it makes sense on a certain level. Nazis love Putin because he is an unapologetic homophobic white nationalist...
Trumpists love Putin because he is an unapologetic right-wing authoritarian and also see Nazis.
And a certain subset of the idiotic ultra-left loves Putin because everyone who is against America is their fucking hero.
Wonderful. A confederacy of dunces indeed.
Julia knows this because she speaks to Russians who have been screaming about "Screw your democracy and the empty shelves it brought with it" since the 1990s. I know this for the same reason, and also because I was a member of the working class and heard this said many times...
I worked in manual labor in 2001 and 2002, when a small venture-capital company I was working for as a technician went belly-up in the in the post-9/11 crisis. My vaguely "threatening" name ("Is this Farsi?") shut me out of most jobs, and I wound up working in a warehouse...
Wasn't anything to complain about. The money kept the newborn fed, and heavy lifting was nothing to be scared of for a Soviet immigrant.
But holy shit, the coworkers...
The first thing they did was nickname me "The Terrorist", because obviously...
It's really difficult for me to accept the fact of how racist a great majority of the Russian-speaking world is, particularly former Soviet expats in America, considering that African Americans are our closest cultural relatives. By far. Without a hint of exaggeration 🧵
Russians have an innate sense of distrust of authority. They are absolutely convinced that people in charge are there to swindle or otherwise "get" them. They are wary of the police. They consider an adversarial relationship with work bosses a natural state of things...
Russians consider themselves highly "spiritual" in ways that outsiders simply won't understand. Our women would rather be found dead in a ditch than be caught going outside, even for something as trivial as taking out the trash, without the heels and makeup on...