Thread by @Hey_There_Satan

"Sweet Intentions"

A #Shinkami #Kamishin Valentine's Day thread, where Hitoshi tries to discover why Denki is making a secret trip with homemade chocolates and winds up with a conspiracy theory worthy of Todoroki.

((Directly inspired by @KylePhillipsFun amazing tiktok about Denki trying to ask Shinsou out on a valentines date and getting distracted by...someone special.
vm.tiktok.com/TTPdBUd7bm/ ))

Shinsou isn't exactly the kind of guy people imagine when they think of someone who is passionate about valentines day.

He suspects that someone would think of smitten but eager extroverted sunbeams offering chocolate, or sweet and shy wallflowers who fantasize about holding their crush's hand while confessing their feelings through a card.

Whatever it is, he's pretty sure it doesn't look like what he's currently doing...which is avoiding his crush in every way possible while still trying to figure out who Denki plans on giving chocolates to.

For all that the blonde had boasted of his clever convincing of Bakugou to assist him in creating only mildly misshapen chocolates (and dear Kacchan was very clear that he wasn't responsible for their shape, just Dunce Face), he'd managed to keep the recipient a secret.

Which was amazing because he's pretty sure Denki couldn't keep gossip to himself for longer than three seconds without experiencing physical pain. So Kaminari wouldn't say and Shinsou wouldn't ask.

Whatever. It wasn't a big deal, he'd thought at the time. He had more important things to attend to. Hitoshi always said he'd put school and hero work first.

He'd promised Aizawa, and himself, that he wouldn't squander the opportunity that he was given when he'd been accepted into Class A. He had a fuck of a lot of catching up to do and he couldn't afford to spend time socializing and playing nice with the other kids.

Except, it seemed, when it came to Kaminari Denki.

Which is why it was very embarrassing to admit he'd spent the last twenty minutes utilizing his finest stealth skills to follow Denki on his mysterious trip.

Kaminari had been shifty about it all morning, saying he had to deliver something important and that he was willing to 'take the risk if it means everything works out!'

Shinsou could only assume that Denki had mustered the courage to confess to some girl who would hopefully turn him down politely despite the homemade chocolates and inevitable puppy eyes that would accompany whatever dreadful pick up line he used. Not that Shinsou was jealous.

Because he wasn't.

Usually, when Denki liked someone he simply strolled up, finger guns blazing, and threw out an outrageous one-liner about their eyes before winking and waiting for rejection.

Even when he was into Jirou he hadn't done too much more than just talking a big game and giving a lot of compliments. Shinsou could handle seeing Kaminari do his usual flirtations because they were predictable and low-risk and (most importantly) they never got him a single date.

Hitoshi didn't enjoy seeing Denki drool over a pretty student or a handsome hero, but he could tolerate it when he knew Kaminari had no chance of it working out- especially when all he really ever did was make painful jokes.

Which is why it drove him especially crazy that Denki had seriously upped his flirting game lately.

He hadn't used it on anyone yet, as far as Hitoshi knew, but he was dressing up in brand names far outside his budget and he'd noticed the man wearing /cologne/ of all things the other day.

At least when Kaminari was dressing as horrendously as his interior decorating skills Shinsou could be confident that Denki would remain available- should Hitoshi ever acquire the courage to ask him out.

But now he was looking sharp, smelling unreasonably good, and carrying homemade chocolates to an undisclosed location that even the Bakusquad didn't seem to know about.

Whoever had caught Denki's eye must be special because Hitoshi had never seen him put in this amount of effort for anyone.

Shinsou had told himself, while getting dressed in dark clothing suitable for remaining in the shadows while tracking Kaminari this evening, that he was merely being a good friend and looking out for Denki's safety.
He was practicing his underground hero skills too.

What if this person turned him down brutally and in his sorrow he got caught by a villain? Or fell and hurt himself? Hitoshi was simply being a good hero-hopeful. It was logical. Even if Aizawa-sensei wouldn't agree with him if he'd mentioned it.

And, if in his sorrow Denki happened to run into Shinsou's arms and suddenly realize that the best partner for him was beside him the whole time...then that was simply a bonus.

Following Denki was no hardship, the bright hair and white jacket he was wearing were easy to spot and Shinsou knows from personal experience that he keeps his headphone volume at Present Mic levels so Hitoshi could probably shout without getting discovered.

Hitoshi was confused at the neighborhood they were currently walking through after a short train ride (where Shinsou must have looked incredibly suspicious to other passengers while staring at Denki from the window of the next train car over)

since it seemed to be only large family homes. Was Kaminari seeing someone who didn't attend UA and lived at home? Was he flirting with someone so much older that they already had a house and, god forbid, a spouse and children?

Hitoshi wouldn't put it past his friend to try his luck with a married man or woman. He'd seen the way Denki's eyes bulged whenever Bakugou's parents came by. If that was the case then this was going to be very painful to watch.

Shinsou admired and appreciated many things about Kaminari, but sometimes he couldn't tell if that effervescent bravery was legitimate courage or simply foolishly high optimism. Either way, he suspected the evening would not pan out well.

Finally, Kaminari stopped in front of a house with a flawless lawn and a tall iron gate. The kind of house that told you the people inside had enough money to advertise their wealth- probably with a security system fancy enough to protect it.

Shinsou waited until Denki buzzed the intercom and was allowed inside before slipping in behind him and taking cover behind a tree. It was only after he'd settled into his hiding place that he noticed Denk had dropped something from his pocket while hurrying inside the gate.

Shinsou utilized the binding cloth he'd been smart enough to bring and pulled the object off the path and into his hand. It was clear that Denki had dropped his credit card- Wait, that doesn't make sense...

Kaminari didn't have a credit card. He'd lamented the fact loudly in the common room enough times for Shinsou to know it. He'd even recently begged Hitoshi to pre-order him the new pokemon game with his card since Denki only had cash.

Shinsou had given in, of course, without much prompting. Anything to put that dopey grateful smile on Denki's face.

So it couldn't be Kaminari's card...but then who the hell would give their credit card to a teenager with the impulse control of a concussed squirrel?

It wasn't bright enough outside the house to make out the name, but he figured he could just hand it back to Denki when he returned to UA and say he'd seen him drop it earlier.

He kept the card in his hand as he sat watching while Kaminari paused to adjust his jacket, hair, and even check his breath against his hand before using the door's ostentatious lion-shaped knockers. The door opened, and Shinsou's heart stopped beating for at least a few seconds.

There, in all her "total milf" glory was Mrs. Bakugou and with the door open he now had enough light to see it was /her/ name written on the credit card he was currently holding.

Suddenly, everything made perfect sense.

The fancy new expensive clothes? The increased effort to seem mature? The goddamn /cologne/ and homemade chocolates? The fact that he wouldn't even let the Bakusquad know where he was headed tonight or who the gift was for?

Kaminari Denki was absolutely and positively dating Bakugou's mother.

It was the only rational explanation for his behavior and his new look. Kaminari might come from a comfortable family but he wasn't rich enough to be buying brand names with his allowance.

And it had to be more than just one-sided interest because you don't buy clothes for someone you're hoping will /stop/ flirting with you. In fact, you don't usually buy a bunch of expensive things for a date at all. Not unless...

Surely Denki hadn't become Mitsuki Bakugou's sugar baby? She /was/ a well known woman in the fashion world. She certainly had the money to buy whatever Denki desired and if cute young men struck her fancy then she could undoubtedly keep a whole stable of them on hand.

But wasn't Bakugou's mother married? Did Mr. Bakugou know that his wife was buying fancy new clothes for a barely legal teen who was close friends with their son? Before he could spiral any further, Shinsou watched as his theory was confirmed while Mrs. Bakugou spoke.

"Denki!" She cried, clearly happy but surprised to see him on her doorstep. "Did you forget something from last night, sweetheart?"

/Sweetheart/ .../last night/...?

Shinsou felt his stomach twist. How was he supposed to compete with an entire adult woman who probably had a paid-off mortgage, a pet name for Denki, and a chest large enough that even her son had inherited it?

"Hey Mrs. B!" Denki replied, all smiles and boyish charm as he gestured to the lion-shaped door piece he'd used to alert them to his arrival. "Nice knockers!"

They both shared a laugh and Hitoshi had to rub his eyes because surely this was a fever dream, a nightmare....anything but the reality of a grown woman laughing at Denki's dumb wordplay.

A woman who was interested in the man Shinsou wanted, and was more than capable of buying him enough Pikachu memorabilia to drown a horse.

What did Shinsou have to offer in comparison? Insomnia? Sarcastic commentary? Eyebags so deep he might as well start keeping his wallet in them?

"Alright, alright," Mitsuki's chuckles died down, "Very funny, kid but you haven't answered my question. Is everything alright?"

"Oh, totally!" Kaminari confirmed, anxiously rocking from one foot to the other. "I just realized I forgot to give you back your card yesterday and I didn't want you to think you lost it! Plus I wanted you to have some of these, as a thank you for everything!"

Hitoshi squinted at the card he was still holding, wondering how the hell Denki was supposed to give his sugar mommy the card back when he didn't even have it- and also if it was normal for sugar babies to thank their benefactors with homemade valentines chocolate.

Before he could reach a decision, another person joined Mitsuki at the door.

Mr. Bakugou, the strange aberration of calm in the family of explosive tempers, reached out to hold his wife's hip as he asked, "Dear? Is everything all- oh! Hello, Kaminari. It's great to see you, those clothes really do bring out your eyes. We were right to get them for you."

/Holy shit/

Hitoshi covered his mouth to stop himself from vocalizing his shock. Denki wasn't just Mitsuki's sugar baby...he was dating BOTH of Bakugou's parents!?

"Aww, you think it suits me?" Kaminari asked, suddenly a touch shy as he gave a twirl for the Bakugous and popped his collar a bit. "It was super nice of you two to be so generous about sharing- you both have made me into a real man instead of just a kid!"

"Dear god," Shinsou gasped into his palm. Does that mean what he thinks it does? Katsuki was going to destroy Kaminari when he finds out that he's seduced /both/ of his parents into some bizarre financial threesome.

"Denki was just bringing me back my credit card," Mitsuki told her husband, reaching out to fix Kaminari's collar with a familiarity that made Hitoshi gulp.

"And I brought a gift!" Denki added, grinning at the two of them and holding out the bag of chocolates.

"I know Kacchan helped with the recipe and showed me how to do everything but I promise I made them /mostly/ by myself!"

Mr. Bakugou accepted the chocolates graciously, despite their misshapen attempt at a heart design he clutched a hand to his chest as though he was endlessly touched by the gesture.

"That was very sweet of you, but we don't want you to feel like you owe us anything. We were happy to spoil you!"

"Really," Mitsuki sighed. "Why can't our demon child be as thoughtful as you? If you can teach him basic human decency I'll buy you a car."

Denki snorted, "I might be a pro-hero in a few months but that's asking for a miracle. Anyway, let me give you your card, and then I can leave you two to your valentine's day night. You doing anything special?"

Kaminari started to dig in his jacket pocket for the card Shinsou was still anxiously holding, and Hitoshi started to panic.

Denki made a confused face when he didn't find it, and started searching his other pockets somewhat frantically.

In an attempt to both help the boy he liked and also rid himself of the evidence of the strangest relationship he'd ever witnessed, Shinsou threw the card like a Frisbee back onto the path.

He watched in horror as Mitsuki and Masaru saw it land with a clatter just a few feet behind Denki. "I think that tree just returned my card for you," Mitsuki stated.

Kaminari whipped around to see the card behind him, undoubtedly having heard the sound of the plastic hitting the cement path through the lawn, and quickly shifted into a battle stance.

"Alright, whoever you are you better show yourself before I turn this little light show into a full storm!" Denki called, with only a slight note of anxiety in his voice as his hands lit up with electricity.

Hitoshi debated his options, thinking he could haul ass and /probably/ make it past the gate before Denki caught him or he could come up with a convincing enough lie that at least got him out of trouble.

It's not like Denki was eager to reveal his illicit parental affair to Bakugou, so Shinsou could probably get him to agree to silence on both their sides.

He'd taken too long in thinking about it, though, as Denki was approaching and there was no way he wouldn't see him leave from this distance.

Realizing he'd have to just face the music, Shinsou stood up and stepped into the light of the doorway.

"Toshi?" Kaminari asked, confusion thick in his voice.

"Is this man a friend of yours, Denki?" Mitsuki took a somewhat protective posture over both Kaminari and her husband- which in any other situation might have struck Hitoshi as sweet.

"Yeah," Denki nodded, still looking bewildered. "He's even Kacchan's friend too. Dude, what are you doing here?"

"We're not friends," Shinsou corrected reflexively. "I mean, I don't think Bakugou would call us that."

Kaminari snorted, his lips twitching into a smile, "Kacchan also says he isn't /my/ friend but he still knitted me a scarf covered in lightning bolts and yells at me to hydrate properly on hot days."

Mitsuki made a pleased sound before pressing a hand to her face in thoughtfulness as she studied Hitoshi from the doorway.

"Look," Shinsou began, twisting his fingers together nervously. "I won't say anything to Bakugou. I can't say I...approve of this relationship, but if they make you happy and you're consenting and all of that it isn't really my business what you do in your free time."

"Huh?" Denki's small eyebrows drew together, his expression only growing more confused as Hitoshi dug his grave even deeper.

"I get that this couple is appealing to you...I suppose they have their life together and fancy jobs and a house and probably a retirement plan and all sorts of things people our age don't, and it's not like I'm judging you for it-

Okay, I'm judging you for it a little, but only because I was concerned. Honestly I wasn't cool with it but seeing how much they clearly care for you and the way they even tried to protect you when a stranger like me showed up, it's clear that you have...

something good here, I guess."

Kaminari shook his head as if he could make sense from force of movement alone, "Toshi, I have no idea what you're ta-"

"But don't think that just because I'm okay with Denki's decision that I'm not going to be watching carefully to make sure you're treating him right!" Shinsou added, turning to look directly at Mitsuki and Masaru.

Finding them unaffected, if not almost /amused/ only made Hitoshi angrier. Did they think this was some kind of joke?

The boy Shinsou loved was not only taken but taken by an established married couple who could buy Denki whatever his dorky heart desired, and they thought it was funny?

Feeling the last dregs of sanity and logic drain from his mind, Shinsou pointed threateningly at the married couple and added,

"Denki is important to me. I might not be able to buy him brand-name clothes or a car, but I /can/ protect his happiness and his safety.

If either of you two threatens that then I don't care that your son would probably kill me for it, but I'll be back to make sure you two never hurt him again. Understand?"

Finally, the amused faces dropped, and the couple looked remarkably stoic before shrieking laughter left Mitsuki and she bent nearly in half holding her sides.

"Holy shit, I wish I had my camera for that!" Mitsuki added between wheezes.

Masaru was chuckling at a far more sane volume than his wife, but still laughing hard enough to require a hand on the doorway to support himself as he shook with amusement.

"Oh my, I had no idea we'd stepped into such a position! To think, we had this poor kid in our romantic clutches."

Mitsuki only laughed harder at her husband's words, "Katsuki would probably say we were putting the /extra/ in extramarital affair!" She howled, pointing at Denki when she said 'extra' and causing Masaru to nearly slip from his position holding onto the door.

Shinsou looked at Denki, expecting to see hurt on his face while the couple enjoyed their hysterics at his expense, but only found the blonde to still be standing there with a perplexed expression.

"Dude, I don't know what you think is happening but you don't need to yell at them," Denki picked up the credit card from its place on the path and brushed some dirt from it.

"I'm just gonna give them back their card and then you can tell me what's going on- but no more shouting, okay?"

Mitsuki had managed to contain herself, now waving a hand in front of her as though she needed to cool down. "Oh man, I laughed so hard I think I peed a little! That's what I get for giving birth to a kid with a skull as big as his ego.

Anyway, thanks for the entertainment tonight, sweetheart. You and your friend are welcome if you ever need to borrow the kitchen again. See if you can get the brat to come home more too, yeah? I miss his sour face."

She turned from Denki to smirk at Shinsou and added, "Maybe you can join us next time?"

Hitoshi scrunched up his nose in distaste at the woman's offer, honestly impressed by her boldness, before a part of her statement really hit him.

"Wait...Borrow the kitchen?"

"Yeah" Denki said with a shrug. "I knew I was gonna mess up with the chocolates a bunch before I got it right and I didn't want to take up the kitchen for hours when nineteen other kids might want to use it, so Kacchan said he'd let me use his house as long as he could supervise.

Shinsou squinted suspiciously at the three people in front of him, "And the clothes? The brand names and cologne? Their /credit card/?"

"Oh, you noticed?" Kaminari asked, looking delighted for some unknown reason.

"When I came over, Kacchan was supposed to model some new designs but he was kicking and screaming about it like usual so I volunteered instead and they let me keep a bunch of stuff from their new line!

They were so thankful they even offered to cover the cost for the ingredients I'd need to make the chocolates!"

"So...you're not..." Shinsou started, unsure of how to politely ask if Kaminari had been sleeping with Bakugou's parents.

"Your precious Denki hasn't been defiled by the big bad Bakugou family, no," Mitsuki snorted, ruffling Kaminari's hair affectionately.

"Ah...I see."

Shinsou stood there, acutely aware of how ridiculous an assumption it was to make- despite being so sure of it moments ago. He could see where Katsuki got his sadistic streak while observing the sheer delight in Mitsuki and Masaru's eyes at Hitoshi's discomfort.

Mitsuki patted Kaminari's head in a way that would have pissed Katsuki off, but delighted Denki, offering a saccharine little, "Well you two clearly have a lot to talk about, we'll let you go on your impromptu valentine's date."

She shut the door with a wink worthy of Kaminari's best pick up lines and left Shinsou and Denki standing in the quiet dark. "So," Denki started, his expression still puzzled, "Wanna walk me back and explain what that was all about?"

Hitoshi would have loved to say "Not particularly" and immediately leave, resolving to never meet Kaminari's eyes again and spend the last part of their third year at UA dodging the boy like he dodged Midoriya's quirk questions.

But, although the evening had been especially painful, it wasn't entirely a wasted effort because now he knew that Denki wasn't the Bakugou family sugar baby he'd suspected.

Which also meant that Denki was probably not sneaking out to meet with a mysterious romantic rival for Shinsou. It was far too late to make another stop anywhere, and Denki had implied he was just going back to the dorms, so it seemed unlikely he had anything planned tonight.

It struck Shinsou as odd that Denki of all people had been planning on spending valentines day alone, especially after making those chocolates. Clearly he intended them for /someone/, but perhaps he gave them to the Bakugou family as thanks after his original crush rejected him?

Usually, Kaminari would bemoan his lost love at such a volume it was impossible for Shinsou to /not/ discover who the lucky object of Denki's affections currently was.

Entirely avoiding the question that had been posed at him, Shinsou took Kaminari's arm and started to walk them back to the street while saying, "It seems unlike you to not have valentine's day plans."

Denki's ADHD worked in Hitoshi's favor, and the blonde quickly changed topics to meet him, "Oh! Well I kinda had a loose idea of what I might do this evening, but I chickened out.

It's fine! The poem I wrote was super dumb and corny so the dude probably wouldn't have said yes anyway. Figured the least I could do was bring some chocolates to the Bakugous as a thank you while also dropping off their credit card.

Super nice couple, too. I mean, Mrs. Bakugou's temper is a cakewalk after dealing with Kacchan for three years and Masaru is like Kirishima on quaaludes once you get to know him. Not really a shocker that Kiribaku ended up a thing, if you think about it."

The comforting rambling Shinsou had grown used to hearing from Denki soothed the agitation that had built up from a night of bizarre theories about Kaminari's illicit sugar relationships with his friend's parents.

It was nice to feel like things were normal despite the strangeness of the evening, but Hitoshi couldn't help but feel sad that Denki had given up on his valentines day plans after putting so much work in.

It's not that Shinsou /wanted/ Denki to go on a romantic date with some random guy that wasn't him, but really caring about someone means wanting them to be happy- even if it isn't with you.

"I bet your poem wasn't stupid," Hitoshi interrupted, hands in his pockets as they walked back to UA. "I mean all valentine's day poetry is pretty corny but that's part of its charm or whatever, right?"

Denki looked up, his expression pleased but surprised. "Toshi, have you been hiding the fact that you're a secret romantic from me?! I thought we were besties!

I've had matching tattoos designed for us since the joint-training exercise and you never thought to tell me that you're really watching Love Actually and The Notebook when you're awake at 2 AM?"

Hitoshi hip-checked Denki with a laugh, "I'd hardly go that far. I'm just saying that whoever you wrote that poem for would probably appreciate it. Better to get a 'dumb corny' poem on valentines day than nothing at all, right?"

Kaminari hummed, thoughtful as he replied, "I guess so. He just doesn't seem like the type to want that sort of thing, but maybe I'm making a wrong assumption."

Shinsou grimaced, "Yeah, that can happen to the best of us."

"Thanks, man! I think I'm gonna take your advice and try my luck," Denki grinned, linking his arms even tighter with Hitoshi as they neared the UA campus. "If he hates it then I'll just eat the chocolates myself."

"Save a few for me?" Shinsou asked, hoping that he might still end up spending valentines day night with his crush even if it wasn't how he wanted.

Kaminari laughed, a loud snort that would have been obnoxious if he wasn't so besotted with the blonde, "I don't think that'll be an issue, dude."

When they arrived at school, Denki dragged Hitoshi with him to the kitchen where a few of his remaining chocolates were packaged cutely in purple wrapping paper.

Kaminari plucked them up from the counter, pausing a moment to take a fortifying breath before handing them to Hitoshi with a flourish.
"So, uh, Happy Valentine's Day, Toshi!"

Shinsou furrowed his brows, "I thought you were only going to save me a few and ask out that guy? These are all the chocolates you have left."

Denki paused, biting his lip to tamp down a smile, "You know, for Aizawa-sensei's clone you're kinda oblivious but that's okay- I think it's cute!"

When it was clear Hitoshi didn't understand things any more clearly, Kaminari continued, "Hitoshi, I'm trying to give these chocolates to the guy I like...right now."

Shinsou soon found the gift thrust into his arms, where he stared down at the crinkled paper in shock. "These were...for me?"

Denki immediately tugged on his bangs, a nervous habit Shinsou was familiar with, "Well, yeah. I know, I know, you don't like to admit you have friends or really be that social and stuff

and you probably wouldn't be interested in dates cause you've got this whole single-minded pro hero goal thing going on- and that's super valid and I'm really inspired by your dedication!

But just in case you wanted to take a break from being cool alone and be cool with me, I've got a shitty poem upstairs that I could read you while we binge eat these chocolates and watch those bad horror flicks you like?"

Shinsou blinked, his brain struggling to process what seemed like an obscenely perfect date night being offered to him by the sweetest man he knew.

Denki took the silence negatively, stepping back to add, "No pressure if you don't want to! You can keep the chocolates anyway, I'm happy just to be your bro if that's how you prefer it. Your friendship means a lot to me, even if I'd want more from it-"

"Yes," Shinsou stated, a little too loudly and forcibly. "I'd uh, like to be...um, cool with you."

Denki paused, his eyes shining as little sparks flew off his fingers in his excitement, "Seriously?! Oh man, you're not gonna regret this! I found a zombie movie where a shark and a zombie have a whole fight scene underwater-

not even a greenscreen, they just shoved some poor guy into the water with a whole ass tiger-shark!"

"That sounds great," Hitoshi agreed, cheeks red as he clutched the gift to his chest. "I, uh, I'm sorry that I thought you were sleeping with Bakugou's parents by the way."

Denki paused in his zombie ramblings, his face suddenly breaking into one of clarity, "Wait, /THAT'S/ what you thought I was doing at their house?! DUDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THOUGHT I COULD BANG KACCHAN'S MOM /AND/ DAD, THAT'S LIKE THE BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER."

And when Denki grabbed Shinsou's face to draw him into a kiss, Hitoshi would say he thought he saw stars...before realizing it was explosions and Bakugou had unfortunately overheard their conversation.

But having your new boyfriend slather burn cream on you both while watching zombie movies was still a pretty romantic evening, in Shinsou's opinion at least.

~~The End~~

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

((If you like silly comedic shinkami fics then I invite you to enjoy the literal multiple novels I've written of these two dorks at the link below:

https://twitter.com/Hey_There_Satan/status/1252274945423523841?s=20&t=uM5pOmHIFK8L9Gl4gcQNkg

))

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