Thread by @jespow

1/11 We are trapped by our language and limited by our point of reference.

The problem with noun-oriented languages is that labels are indefinite. "You are a man." Period. Forever.

A verb-oriented language might say "You are manning." Right now. Maybe not later.

https://twitter.com/michelletandler/status/1494673941746573313

2/ I can be a runner and I can also be not running right now. Can I be a man and not be manning right now?

Well, how do you define "being a man"? It varies across time and people. Do I prove my identity by drinking beer and fixing cars or is it wearing powdered wigs & tights?

3/ The hard thing about labels, be it political party, religion or gender is that when you accept a label, you allow yourself to be defined by other people. The word is fixed but the definition is fluid. What it means to be a man or woman today is not what it meant 500 years ago.

4/ The other tricky thing is using one word to mean two different things. A "man" can be an adult male human being, and it can also be anyone who chooses to play the stereotypical role--to make the performance--common of an adult male human being, of some select time/society.

5/ We play lots of roles. Sometimes we use costumes to inform or mislead observers. A soldier wears a uniform, a clown wears a red nose, a woman wears a dress. We assume "if he's wearing a soldier's uniform, he must be a soldier" but it's not necessarily true, nor of the woman.

6/ People and norms are constantly evolving. The nouns have failed us.

When someone says "I feel like a man", what is meant is that one identifies with their interpretation of somebody else's stereotypical expectations of an adult male human being. Why is the label so important?

7/ I have not heard anyone in modern times say "I feel like a woman of ancient times, ready to plow the field by day and endlessly bear children by night, to be one of many, the property of a man, at risk of being stoned for speaking." Why do men only now want to play women?

8/ Do I feel like a man? I don't even know what that means, nor is it an interesting question. Do I care what pronouns you use for me? Couldn't care less because my identity, who I see myself as, has nothing to do with my sex organs or your expectations. My identity is intrinsic.

9/ People who are overly concerned with gender, political, religious, national labels seek to put you in a box. Rather than understand you as a person, they'd prefer you tell them what box you go in so they can make assumptions about what they don't know. It's lazy and insulting.

10/ When I think about whether people should post their pronouns, I always think back to these psych studies where the participants are primed at the top of the test by filling out their gender or ethnicity, and then end up performing to their view of societal expectations.

11/11 So, I think there's a non-0 cost of unnecessarily putting yourself in a box for somebody else's benefit. I will take my best guess and if you care that much, you can correct me. I will not ask you for your pronouns and I don't think any company should mandate pronouns. /🧵