Conan, Esq Profile picture
Mar 4, 2022 19 tweets 9 min read Read on X
The mysteries of Antarctica are buried by paperwork more than anything else. 🇦🇶🧵 Image
“Hey Conan, I’m launching an expedition to Antarctica. We’ll hire a ship and trek into the wastes, settle this once and for all! You in?”

Whoa, slow down there Anon—do you have all your permits? Image
“What do you mean permits? Anyone can go to Antarctica. It’s a myth that you can’t go there. Don’t be paranoid.”

They do say that, but is it REALLY true?

I, your expert on Fringe Law, looked into what our expedition it would take… Image
Antarctica is governed by international treaty. Specifically, the Antarctic Treaty of 1961.

The stated reason for this treaty is to keep 🇦🇶 from becoming a military theater and to promote scientific study. See Art. 1 of the Treaty.
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The Treaty is the basis for governance of 🇦🇶, so any limitations will flow from that. Let’s look at some key provisions.

Note first how focused are the Preamble and Art 1 on scientific endeavors. Image
Next, note the obligation created by Art 7 to inform all Parties to the Treaty of all expeditions. Finally, look at how Art 10 gives a broad power of enforcement in form of duty to each Party.
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This all boils down to two main rules.

1) Your government has to know about your expedition to 🇦🇶 so they can inform everyone else, and

2) you can’t do anything that undermines your country’s “scientific” efforts there.
Those tour companies that take you on a cruise from Ushuaia? They offer limited access because they operate on pre-approved advanced notice with the government. Those are all strictly under government approval.
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But we don’t just want to walk around on a beach for an hour. We want to know what’s going on. Ice wall? Endless wastes? Buried civs? Nazi bases? Hollow earth?

To launch our own private expedition, we’ll need to file an Advance Notice with the State Dept, attached.

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The fine print here is interesting:

1) US is reserving the right to say “kick rocks punk”

2) This isn’t just for Antarctica, it’s to even GO SOUTH OF 60th PARALLEL. You can’t even sail close to 🇦🇶
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On top of that, we’ll need to complete an Environmental Impact Assessment (attached).

This process gives ALL parties to the Treaty the ability to weigh in on our expedition and if you read it, it’s clearly written to give countries the right to say “GTFO”.


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Oh and make sure you have a plan to pack your literal shit out to comply with “Annex III To The Protocol On Environmental Protection To The Antarctic Treaty: Waste Disposal And Waste Management” Image
And do NOT wander into a Specially Protected Area under Annex V !! Image
This is all just the scratching the surface too. Peruse this 300 page manual if you want to fall into a rabbit-hole. And they’ll shut you down or yank you out for any of this.

documents.ats.aq/atcm43/ww/atcm…
“But Conan, couldn’t we just—“

Nah. Because the US keeps both Marshalls and various military there (Operation Deep Freeze). You CAN have military there under the treaty, as long as they’re just helping with the science ofc ;)
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Like I said. Read between the lines and you’ll see they’ll take any excuse to snatch you outta there. They sent the MIB down there just to cool a little scuffle.
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The point of all this is for them to be able to say you can go.

You can go. You just have to say exactly where you’re going, what you’re doing. And they’ll say no if they don’t like it. And they’ll remove you if you try to do it anyway. Why?
You can go, but really you can’t. It’s plausible deniability.

And when you structure things so you can plausibly deny something, it’s evidence there’s something to be denied!

Not dispositive evidence, but still evidence. Image
There is something weird going on down there guys. I don’t know what, but this kafkaesque structure of legaloid trickery is unmistakeable obfuscation.

When they can say no without having to say “no”, it’s because they don’t want you to ask “why not?”


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More from @conan_esq

Aug 15
Everything autistic people don’t like about social interactions is cured by a culture of etiquette. Autists being outcasted is a result of the collapse of formal etiquette. That was the social API and they don’t give it to you anymore.
Here’s the method to reliably navigate social circumstances and relationships safely and profitably, son.
Read 5 tweets
Aug 2
Scooby Doo projects each tend to focus on one member of the gang, resulting in each of them having a refined set of character traits and stories. Except Fred. Nobody really gets Fred. Image
In Legend of the Phantosaur and Shaggy’s Showdown, we get Shaggy in thoughtful conflict with his fearful nature, overcoming it internally, without Scooby snacks, to crack the case and save his friends.
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In Big Top Scooby Doo and the Live Action Film we see Daphne in conflict with the limitations of her hot girl image.

Slim, please do not post your first thought seeing this image. Image
Read 22 tweets
Dec 22, 2023
My last look at the party before I say a few affectionate goodbyes and drive home responsibly (I’m grateful for my friends and family around the holidays) Image
POV: your last look at the party that you can remember Image
“Anon, Last Christmas was specifically about the Christmas of 1985, it’s not applicable anymore, you need to move on with your life, please, Anon, wake up—“ Image
Read 4 tweets
Nov 17, 2023
This is a great story that gets at something I think about often. I think the whole 'sommelier' and 'tasting notes' thing is fake or real depending on what you thought it was.
As this and other stories prove, you can trick people. Even people with good palates. Taste and smell are such ephemeral senses - social engineering can be very powerful here. But that doesn't mean that a Bordeaux isn't a good wine, or that wine is indistinguishable.
Not to say that @FischerKing64 was saying that, I know he wasn't. This is just a tangent.

I do think if you pay attention to wine (beer, whiskey), you can identify flavors and qualities.
Read 10 tweets
Nov 16, 2023
Times Up Let’s Do This: The Risky Consecration of LEEEEEEROY JEEEENNNNNKINS

a Thread

by Conan, Esq Image
You remember Leeroy Jenkins. Early modern internet culture meme. Normies played WoW. There was a bridge. The earth was not yet round. I saw the video and laughed, but wasn’t old or online enough to get interested in it.

But looking at it now, the way it all played out after that video is very weird. Many odd elements stand out. But Leeroy Jenkins is so old you don’t think to apply your current day lenses to the story. But the story is much clearer through those lenses.
Read 14 tweets
Oct 24, 2023
I’m a loyal guy and discreet. Central to my whole thing. It’s what they pay me for. Do you know what it takes for me to publicly turn on a guy I’ve liked?

It takes this. It’s over. I disavow.
Is this true bros can I still laugh at the antics without feeling queasy
You know what, this is barely better. I don’t revoke my disavowal. But if he repents publicly I could see my way to a parole eventually.
Read 8 tweets

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