You must get gremlins off the pain side of your pleasure-pain seesaw by doing one of two things:
✔️ Pursued or Abstain.
Part one pinned on my profile and this is part two:
ABSTAIN
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Abstaining is intermittent dopamine fasting temporarily avoiding dopamine spikes so the gremlins get bored and leave the pain side of your pleasure-pain seesaw - until you regain a baseline level of motivation to do simple things.
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A dopamine fast typically means sticking to low stimulation activities and abstaining from: Chocolate or foods you crave (ice cream, fast food, etc.), drinking or partying, energy drinks and dopamine boosting drugs (cocaine, etc.), pornography and apps (TikTok, Ig, etc.)
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Only engage in low stimulating activities until your brain resets its dopamine levels and you no longer feel miserable (this can take several days).
If you have a craving for a particular substance or activity...
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...you must abstain from that substance or activity for 30 days to reset the reward circuits in your brain.
Author Anna Lembke has created a list to help you get through a 30-day dopamine fast:
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DATA: When you collect data on your behavior, you might be shocked to learn how bad your addiction has gotten.
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For example, recording the amount of sugar you consume in a single week and learning that you ingest 700g a week can spark a feeling of disgust which will create a desire to abstain from soda drinks for 30 days.
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PROBLEM: All addictive behaviors enslave you by making you crave the substance or activity just to feel normal. What's more, additions gradually erode the relationships you care about most.
ABSTAIN: Abstain for 30 days to reset your reward circuits.
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MINDFULNESS: Your abstinence is an opportunity to practice mindfulness.
When you experience a craving, wonder where your craving is coming from inside your body.
The more curious you are, the less your abstinence will feel like torture.
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NEXT STEPS: Planning to enjoy an addictive substance or activity in moderation after the 30-day abstinence can motivate you to complete the dopamine fast.
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EXPERIMENT: After experimenting with moderation, you might relapse and realize your addiction is too powerful.
In that case, resolve to stop the behavior for good. Be like the alcoholic who tells his friends, "I don't consume alcohol."
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9 Top Lessons I Learned From the Book
"It’s OK That You’re Not OK"
📚Book Review (thread)
Here are some ground rules for helping someone during a difficult time:
1. Grief belongs to the griever
You have a supporting role, not the central role, in your friend’s grief. Grief is a very personal experience and belongs entirely to the person experiencing it.
2. Stay present and state the truth
❗️You cannot know what the future will be, for yourself or your friend—it may or may not be better later.
You cannot know that your friend’s loved one “finished their work here”, or that they are in a “better place”.
PURSUE PAIN #AnnaLembke says, “Pressing on the pain side of the balance can lead to its opposite —pleasure.
Unlike pressing on the pleasure side, the dopamine that comes from pain is indirect and potentially more enduring.” 3/7