Thread by @mattBernius

Setbacks happen to all of us. And things can get better. (A 🧵)

Last Thursday, I moderated a panel on #traumainformed #researchmethods featuring @aditisjoshi, @albanvillamil, and @rdietkus at @RosenfeldMedia's Advancing Research (#AR2022) conference.

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Together we collaboratively explored a critical topic in front of a virtual audience of hundreds of researchers and research leaders. As someone passionate about the need for all of us to embrace trauma-informed approaches, this was a highlight of my career.

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And, if you had told me I was going to do this a decade ago, I would have laughed in your face and told you “my career is over.”

In March of 2012, I was at one of the lowest points in my life.

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I spent the last three years of grad school paralyzed by imposter syndrome, showing up to class, doing the readings, but finding it impossible to write. I was living apart from my wife during the week (commuting between Rochester and Ithaca).

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Looking towards my future, I saw a job market with no jobs--where my best hope would be a string of postdocs, meaning more time away from my wife.

I knew grad school wasn’t working, but I didn’t know what to do.

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Ultimately, my body decided for me--in the form of a mental and emotional breakdown. From the Spring of 2011 to the fall of 2013, memories of my life were largely a fog. I just focused on how my "once-promising" career was done.

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"Who would ever hire a dropout? There are no jobs in Rochester for someone with my skills? How did I let this happen?!"

Thankfully, my wife pushed me to at least get a part-time job. I started my first-ever retail job, working at a pet supply store, on my 39th birthday.

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Then, a former colleague working at a design consultancy needed a researcher with my background. A part-time gig turned into a full-time one. It opened up pathways that led me to the Civic Tech space, trauma-informed methods, & sharing the stage at #AR2022.

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All of which gets me to the point of this post:
For those who are experiencing setbacks (even catastrophic ones): THINGS CAN GET BETTER, often in ways you cannot imagine when you are in the setback.

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There are people out there in your life who care about you and want to help you. And it’s ok to take that help! I received so much help in my return journey--from past colleagues to close friends and family, to, most importantly the support of my wife.

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I won’t lie to you and say that turnarounds are necessarily easy or fast. AND still, by taking help and embracing opportunities that come your way, you can turn things around. I believe in you and know you can.

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And if talking about your situation with someone who has been there (or at least some version of “there”) will help, please reach out and connect.

DMs are open.

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