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@mykola

Mar 18

I get a lot of DMs from people asking for help, or just asking for conversation. I'm not always prompt at responding, and I don't always respond.

It's just too much. Recently someone reached out about their recent ex who they think is Autistic and are worried he may be suicidal.

I would like nothing better than to track down and help every single suicidal autistic person. I think we should send them all care packages to let them know we see how hard they're working.

But I can't -- I CAN'T -- get that involved in strangers' lives.

A part of what drives me in this work is a desire to serve, a desire to help, a desire to give back _in a way that works for me_.

It turns out that posting sermons about mental health and story telling is a great way to help a lot of people. I'm glad I found this work.

But.

Read 5 tweets

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@mykola

Mar 18

I'm going to reply to this comment in good faith, because I think a lot of people actually think like this but are afraid to ask about it.

The question before the court is: how can you read fiction during times of crisis and upheaval? Why not study history instead?

And the answer is complicated, but it must start with the acknowledgement that history is fiction, too.

Stories don't really happen, stories are created by synthesizing things that may or may not have happened and presenting them in a narrative frame.

The idea that we should all be reading history books is, generously interpreted, actually an argument that we ought to be focusing our recreational activities in ways that make us better equipped to understand global events.

And that's fine, that's a fine opinion to have --

Read 9 tweets

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@mykola

Mar 17

As I muse about my career today I'm also thinking about my last job, for the big online fine art marketplace that's just a giant front for international money laundering.

They had Russian oligarch investors as well as American oligarch investors. Now I understand why.

That's the job where they brought in a new CEO to make us more profitable and he had them cut our phenomenal benefits and then made HR tell us as if it was good news that we have more "appropriate" healthcare options.

I called out HR and the new CEO in the main company chat and refused to have the conversation in private.

Every single employee at that company had those great benefits, even non-engineers. Loved that. They framed it as a mistake.

Read 6 tweets

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@mykola

Mar 17

@ModeAnalytics

Today begins my third year of work for @ModeAnalytics.

I'm someone who often moves on after a year or two as a combination of "welp that's all I'm going to learn here", "I would like a raise and this is how that happens" and "I am so burned out."

I plan to stay at Mode longer.

a year ago things were pretty grim at Mode. We'd lost a lot of colleagues due to the pandemic (there were layoffs) and then to attrition as peoples' priorities shifted and patience waned.

But leadership has really turned it around well.

This time I made the choice to stick with the company through the difficult transitionary times instead of cutting and running, and I'm really glad I did. I've discovered whole new growth edges, and a potential for career options I'd never had elsewhere.

Read 4 tweets

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@mykola

Mar 10

Every once in a while I remember the night I Burned Out and the subsequent year and a half and I just start sobbing.

It was the worst time of my life, I literally wanted to die every day.

I think I have some ptsd around it that I haven’t processed.

Do you know what it’s like to suddenly lose the ability to mask?

When you have only just discovered that you ARE masking, still figuring out what Autism means?

Do you know what that does to every single relationship in your life? How deeply alone you are when you go through it?

When my burnout started I told my best friend I was suicidal. He dropped everything to fly out and spend a week with me.

He didn’t believe I was autistic.

Three months later he friend-broke-up with me because I was “too negative”.

Read 25 tweets

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@mykola

Mar 4

Fuck, my dad has Long Covid. He got covid at a work meeting right after Christmas and he's still sick, currently on a bunch of meds to help his lung congestion, still.

Fuck all of you people who are pushing for "covid is over" party.

Fuck you, I hope you get Long Covid and spend the remaining decades of your life out of breath, weak and disabled.

What do you have to expect?

1. You are disabled now. You cannot do the things you used to do.
2. Your able-bodied friends and family will mostly abandon you. This happens to all of us.
3. People in your life will constantly ask you if you're better yet, and ignore you if "no".

Read 38 tweets

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