WIRED After Dark: You think you’re naughty in the bedroom? The ghastly sexual practices of these freaky-crawlers will shock even the most experienced humans. Content Warning: Graphic sexual language ahead. wired.trib.al/dkAUB98 (From 2015) 1/
Genital Torsion
It’s as gnarly as it sounds. The genitals of male flies twist between 90° and 180°. This isn’t some kind of fun insect reverse cowgirl—this would be like if a human man’s spine and vas deferens ended up wrapped around his colon. Yow. 2/
It’s as gnarly as it sounds. The genitals of male flies twist between 90° and 180°. This isn’t some kind of fun insect reverse cowgirl—this would be like if a human man’s spine and vas deferens ended up wrapped around his colon. Yow. 2/
Cock Blocking
If you think you’ve experienced it, you clearly don’t know the honey bee. During mid-air mating (pretty awesome), the male honey bee’s penis explodes (not-so-awesome), and the eviscerated male falls from the sky to die alone. Good luck cheating on that Queen. 3/
If you think you’ve experienced it, you clearly don’t know the honey bee. During mid-air mating (pretty awesome), the male honey bee’s penis explodes (not-so-awesome), and the eviscerated male falls from the sky to die alone. Good luck cheating on that Queen. 3/
Ejaculation Explosions
Nobody finishes like the Mormon cricket. They attach a blob of protein to their sperm packet which the female eats as a snack, but that packet is up to 27% of the male cricket’s weight—the equivalent of 54lbs of ejaculate from a 200lb human male. 4/
Nobody finishes like the Mormon cricket. They attach a blob of protein to their sperm packet which the female eats as a snack, but that packet is up to 27% of the male cricket’s weight—the equivalent of 54lbs of ejaculate from a 200lb human male. 4/
Spare Stunt Penis
Genital injuries are never fun, but if you’re an earwig it’s all good: some have a second penis in case the first breaks off. In fact, both are “breakaway” penises in case of emergency—or to leave inside your boo if you’d like to slow her re-mating chances. 5/
Genital injuries are never fun, but if you’re an earwig it’s all good: some have a second penis in case the first breaks off. In fact, both are “breakaway” penises in case of emergency—or to leave inside your boo if you’d like to slow her re-mating chances. 5/
Spiked For Absolutely No One’s Pleasure
If you think you’ve had it “rough,” male bean beetle penises have horrific spikes that routinely injure females. The vaginal puncturing results in up to 40% more sperm traveling into the female’s body cavity through the tears. 6/
If you think you’ve had it “rough,” male bean beetle penises have horrific spikes that routinely injure females. The vaginal puncturing results in up to 40% more sperm traveling into the female’s body cavity through the tears. 6/
Size Matters
Drosophila flies are well-documented little kinksters, but one species produces sperm 20x longer than the fly itself, and sport testes that make up 10.6% of their body weight. In a 200lb man, that would be a scrotum the size of a Thanksgiving turkey (21 pounds). 7/
Drosophila flies are well-documented little kinksters, but one species produces sperm 20x longer than the fly itself, and sport testes that make up 10.6% of their body weight. In a 200lb man, that would be a scrotum the size of a Thanksgiving turkey (21 pounds). 7/
Cruel Kids
Strepsipterans already have to deal with living in the butts of wasps. But once fertilized by a male, the living female is consumed from the inside out by her developing young. Absolutely no respect from these kids. 8/
Strepsipterans already have to deal with living in the butts of wasps. But once fertilized by a male, the living female is consumed from the inside out by her developing young. Absolutely no respect from these kids. 8/
Making It Last
Whatever your record is in the bedroom, the stick bug is not impressed. They believe the best way to never let your partner make love to anyone else is just to never stop yourself—which is why their record for hooking up is a whopping 79 days. 9/
Whatever your record is in the bedroom, the stick bug is not impressed. They believe the best way to never let your partner make love to anyone else is just to never stop yourself—which is why their record for hooking up is a whopping 79 days. 9/
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