Darth Putin Profile picture
Mar 23, 2022 34 tweets 7 min read Read on X
As it’s clearly needed: “How to Tankie”. The Darth Putin Guide. Vers 2.0
Russia never invaded anyone. We:

-Enter country that recently ceased to restore order
-Defend Russia(ns) in other country
-False flag
-Assist “legitimate government"
-Special Military Operation (duh)
2"What about USA (insert false equivalence)/Just like USA (false equivalence)". Cos USA did something wrong it means Russia can do the same wrong and not be wrong. It does not mean we are only as bad as USA

Possibly most important rule
3. Countries in Russia's "near abroad" were created to exist as buffer states and have fewer sovereign rights than rich western countries.
4.Their citizens are unable to protest for better government without help. This isn't racist & is always
-NATO "expansion"
-CIA plot
-US imperialism
-George Soros (or other anti semitic trope)
5. NATO made a promise it would never "expand" east after 1990, even though Gorbachev says in a Russian state outlet that this is not the case. (linked in article)

brookings.edu/blog/up-front/…
6 Which means NATO made promise to USSR (that no longer exists) that no member of Warsaw Pact (that no longer exists) made up of countries that no longer exist AND countries that didn't then exist, would ever be allowed to join NATO.

They have limited sovereignty. See point 3
7. It is thus a genuine mystery why so many of our former colonies want to join NATO. Russia is peaceful country surrounded by ceasefires ImageImage
8 All Russia wants is "respect". It does not matter if this means treating our buffer states with disrespect. They have fewer rights.
Again. See point 3 for details
9.NATO, which borders 6% of Russia, is encircling Russia. NATO "expanded" east in 1997 before Russia had to defensively expand west in 1992.

The fact that 99.9% of tankies have no idea what this means is proof it is wrong. ImageImage
10.Threatening to defend yourself against Russia is aggressive so we must threaten to attack you in response.
11. Absolutely nothing happened between September 1939 & June 1941. We were forced to sign deal with Nazis to protect east Europe from fascism. There was no
-mass murder
-deportations to slave labor camps
-secret clauses.

Before or after our "protection" started
12. The Soviet Union never committed crimes against humanity and anyway, they never happened a long time ago so you can't blame Russia

Russia is the self declared successor state to USSR but this doesn't matter
13. “We just don't want a war between US & Russia, you neo con war shill!!" West should appease Russia & let it have Ukraine, this is realpolitik (we don't sound like Kissinger). There's no parallel we can learn from about appeasing a dictator, it always turns out just fine.
14. Russia is only acting to Ukraine as USA did with Cuba. The fact that US behavior towards Cuba is imperialist was wrong but it means it’s ok for Russia to do the same and not be wrong or imperialist

See point 2.
15. What would USA do if Mexico or Canada joined a Russian/China led anti US alliance? The fact we can’t explain why neither Mexico nor Canada feel need for external protection from USA is irrelevant and it’s russophobic to ask why.

See point 2.
16. The Warsaw Pact was a mutual defense alliance that kept attacking itself. Who can explain why as soon as they could our colonies all left and told us to go home
17. Because the US invaded Iraq, which was wrong, it means that anything Russia military does is by definition not also wrong. Western military intervention causes misery & terrorists. Russian military intervention causes joy & unicorns

See point 2
18. A secure international border has Russian troops one both sides of it.

See Ukraine, Georgia and Moldova for examples.
19. The USA is evil, bent on world domination & intends to achieve global hegemony by breaking Russia apart into numerous mutually loathing statelets with nukes each run by a madman so we must be on our guard 24/7

The USA is also about to collapse.
20. Our victory over imperialist West is inevitable. That is why my soldiers will soon fight and die for it
21 . The USA, Germany, Poland & Soros all want to overthrow Kremlin by having assassin squads try to kill high profile opponents with synthetic copies of secret Russian nerve agents so that when their plan succeeds anyone they want to replace me with will de dead
22. We are too fucking dumb to catch them doing point 22 in Russia to dissidents we admit we keep under close surveillance
23. Trotskyites are today the ones least likely to believe the Kremlin runs an assassination program
24. West is weak, decadent, genderless and about to collapse. Except for its anti tank missiles, they seem pretty fucking good.

NVM, That's why we keep our money and children there

It is also an existential threat to Russia. See point 20
25. Russia is deeply concerned by the rise of far right in Europe. Russia is the only European country opposing all these far right/fascists we like so much. ImageImageImageImage
26. In west you are to shout "USA did evil". In Russia you are also free to shout "USA/west did evil". You are also free to shout Russia did evil but you will not be free afterwards.
27. The West humiliated Russia in post cold war years by treating our former colonies as actual countries, not as buffer states with limited sovereignty (see point 2) who have to ask Russia for permission in their foreign affairs.

This is not imperialist
28. When faced with Soviet crimes against humanity, point out “Russia is not the Soviet Union, dumbass”.

In all other matters “Russia won WW2 entirely on its own” as Russia is then Soviet Union
29. The West caused WW2 by not accepting Stalin's offer to occupy all of Poland. UK & France should've let him have all of Poland to commit MORE crimes against humanity in cos they're only Poles AND west should've agreed over Polish heads. Neither idea is racist or imperialist
30. The US launched massive, complex operation to change Ukraine government involving 100,000s of people. We have proof of this which will prove we are victims, force US out of Europe & solve all our security problems

We feel it’s best this proof is on 4chan & infowars only
31. The US launched massive, complex operation to change Ukraine government involving 100,000s of people. We have proof of this which will prove we are victims, force US out of Europe & solve all our security problems

We feel it’s best this proof is on 4chan & infowars only
32. Genuine Pro Russian volunteers who have absolutely nothing to do with Russia with equipment bought from Donetsk shop responded (2nd pic) ImageImage
33. Russia Today is just like BBC. Remember when RT had a journalist get in a massive fight with Kremlin about invasion of Ukraine & didn't get shot right outside Kremlin like happens to so many BBC & CNN & MSNBC war shills?
34. The people most certain Russia would never invade Ukraine are the ones now most certain only they know how to end it. Their past idiocy is no guide to future stupidity.

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More from @DarthPutinKGB

Nov 4, 2024
OTD in 1956 several armored Soviet humanitarian divisions, with equipment bought from a shop, went on a "special military operation" to Hungary to liberate the locals from themselves. Image
Image
They did this cos a "fascist, hitlerite uprising financed by the west" broke out.

Imagine using such a bullshit excuse in the 21st century.

Those old tanks are now in Ukraine
Prez read somewhere USSR marked their tanks with letters and had orders to engage any Soviet equipment they found without a marking BUT also clear instructions to *not* engage any NATO vehicle at all.

Not there is a lesson on calling our bluff there. Heavens no.
Read 4 tweets
Aug 20, 2024
OTD in 1968 Soviet Russia invaded to save Czechoslovakia from the Prague Spring. Some of these tanks are in Ukraine today.

We said we were protecting them from Nazis. Imagine such a bullshit excuse today... Image
The Warsaw Pact is the only mutual defense alliance in history to repeatedly invade itself as members were not permitted to interfere in their own internal affairs.

Da. Prez is aware most of these tanks are in Ukraine rn.
We pretend we have no idea why all our former colonies all want to join NATO. Total mystery.
Read 4 tweets
Jul 15, 2024
OTD in 2014, @rt_com ‘apologized’ for airing a fabricated story about a child being crucified in Ukraine to provide justification for our invasion that has killed hundreds of thousands.

What Chomsky would call ‘manufactured consent’ - not that his cult give a shit when we do it Image
We lied on RT to millions but when @JuliaDavisNews exposed it we ‘apologized’ to a few thousand on this tiny Press account & tweeted it direct so even fewer would see it. Image
Your Prez has had RT "journalists" claim it was never broadcast, which explains why they apologised for broadcasting it.
She & others keep quiet these days, for some reason. In unrelated news, media employees have been jailed for many years at The Hague for inciting genocide 😎
Read 4 tweets
Jul 2, 2024
Sit down my loyal serfs & your Prez will tell you a tale. A tale replanting sunflowers, rehanging posters, an innocent looking family, a man banned from Twitter, & my embassy in DC.

So strap yourself in, open up the lead lined tea box, make yourself a strong brew and get ready🧵
So. Those loyal enough to listen to their Prez’s podcast will have heard Ben Wittes (imperialist lickspittle) explain his habit of projecting Ukrainian flags and art onto my embassy in DC. If not, sushi has been sent.

podcasts.apple.com/de/podcast/in-…
Ben also plants sunflowers, posts Ukrainian art and hangs portraits of my hostages where the delicate employees of @RusEmbUSA can see them, causing untold distress, fundamentally destabilising relations and showing Russophobia.
Read 8 tweets
Jun 26, 2024
OTD in 1940 USSR gave Romania ultimatum to cede large parts of the country to Soviet Union or be invaded.

Imagine us threatening to invade countries in this day and age…
Within a year about 30,000 people where liberated from fascism (with whom we were allied) by being forcibly deported to slave labor camps. This had absolutely nothing to do with a secret clause in our treaty with the Nazis.

Imagine mass deportations taking place today…
But the USA invaded Iraq and the Ford motor company made USSR sign that treaty it means this is ok although it never happened, never happened a long time ago and I’d never happening again.

Prez’s really do trolls say this. All my trolls are morons.
Read 4 tweets
May 18, 2024
The Darth guide to different models of tankies. 🧵
The “Basic” tankie. Russia has never invaded anyone ever. Russia become the world’s biggest country by peacefully defending itself in other people’s countries.
The “Russia was provoked tankie”. NATO caused this war. It did this by being seen as a better option to Russia’s neighbors than Russia is and then by actually being a better option to Russia’s neighbors than Russia is.
Read 31 tweets

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