Thread by @MetroUK

While the internet remains divided over *that* #Oscars slap, it does raise an important question: What should you do if your partner is being insulted, made fun of or abused in any way?

Here's a guide from experts and relationship coaches 👇 trib.al/9zkoHDR

Many people know what it feels like to have someone spring to your defence when you haven’t asked them to - and sometimes it can make the whole experience more embarrassing, and escalate things unnecessarily 😰

However, if you’re being insulted and your partner sits there and says nothing, or worse, laughs along, that’s going to feel pretty awful as well.

How do strike the balance and give your partner the support they need – without making the issue about you and your anger? 🤔

‘I think it’s reasonable to expect that a partner would support you during times of distress.’ says Naomi Segal, couples psychotherapist and founder of The Couple Consultancy.

🗣️ ‘Watching your partner get verbally or physically attacked is likely to create quite a strong emotional reaction in you too, so in that sense, it’s something that is happening to both of you in different ways, not just the person who is the subject of the attack.’

If the issue isn’t an immediate physical danger, Naomi says it may be useful to first check in and see what support your partner needs.

‘This allows you both to establish a supportive emotional connection and agree between you what is an appropriate response.’

Relationship coach Liam Barnett agrees that you should stick up for your partner, but only after you have given them the opportunity to stick up for themselves first.

🗣️‘If you notice that they need help, then you can interfere by drawing some boundaries. Make them notice the person who’s insulting them that what they’re saying or doing is wrong.’

But, he adds, willingness to support and stand up for your partner is more important ✊

In Jada and Will’s situation, there can be no doubt that the intention there was to stand up for his wife and to shut down the disrespect caused by the joke.

However, some have asked whether it wouldn’t have been better to settle the matter privately or after the ceremony.

🗣️ ‘This depends,’ says Naomi. ‘Making a public statement may be a useful way to educate people about something that is misunderstood or misrepresented.'

Is there a risk of embarrassing your partner further if you decide to escalate a situation, call someone out or get angry?

It can be hard to know whether reacting in this way could actually be worse for your partner – even if that isn’t the intention 😖

Ness Cooper, a sex and relationships expert, tells Metro that communication is at the heart of this issue. The more you talk to your partner about the situation, the better prepared you’ll be to respond in a way that works for you both 👇
metro.co.uk/2022/03/28/how…