Felix Profile picture
Apr 3 4 tweets 2 min read
#SundayTwitter #SundayRecommendation

Regarding life partner decisions, I'm reminded of a story shared by the erudite historian @ssishuwa during our UNZA days before he became a political commentator . He's likely forgotten.
While in Chiengi trying to cross Lake Mweru, locals informed him that the usual speed boat used to cross the lake had broken down and convinced him to instead pay a fare to cross by canoe, which he reluctantly accepted.
About 100 meters into the water trip, with the canoe struggling to paddle, the speed boat showed up to his surprise. He admired the speed boat, but he had already paid the fare. To jump into the new boat or stay in the canoe is the question that stretched his mind.
My #SundayRecommendation is, every decision you make has a counterfactual. But this is no reason not to decide at all. No partner is perfect, neither are you. So decide and get going, with an open mind and less judgement.

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More from @FMwenge

Dec 25, 2021
Congratulations!!!!

You asked for it, here is the advice

A thread
The wedding will be nice, people will dance and eat your food then go home leaving the 2 of you. If you borrowed to do the the wedding the debt is for you 2 to face. I hope you didn't because it is a bad way to start.
The few months after the wedding are really the best. Full of romance, spending time & attending functions together and all. Sometimes you don't even want to leave the house or even go for work. This is the stage where you even ask each other "WHY DID WE WAIT THIS LONG?
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Nov 28, 2021
Men, you should help build your partner’s financial security. Your woman’s financial security empowers her to make independent decisions, including against you. She can move out if she wants w/o worrying about survival. It’s a good thing or else she becomes your economic slave.
Being socially secure in my opinion is ability to enjoy own company w/o relying on your spouse. You’re still happy in their absence. Them being away doesn’t destabilize your emotions. You respect each other’s space. You’re not clingy.
Being mentally secure in my opinion is ability to make own decisions w/o relying on your spouse. He/she can give you advice, but you’re not entirely dependent on it. You don’t have a mental breakdown when criticized or during disagreements.
Read 6 tweets
Nov 28, 2021
I think the first marital problems for many young couples start with our failure to reconcile some of the unrealistic expectations we had about marriage in general & our partners in particular with the realities that follow post wedding. The new discoveries can lead to breakups
But the biggest problem starts with our society which expected men and women to marry at a certain age. Those unmarried, especially women experience some level of stigma from family & friends. In short no one is expected to opt out of getting married. I don’t think this is right.
Consequently, nearly every young woman has ‘getting married’ as part of their life goals to be attained. Not only that, but girls are also told to expect that they will find a man who will:
love them
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provide for them
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etc.
Read 12 tweets
Sep 18, 2020
We live in a society that insists men must be leaders, including in marriages. And this doesn't put into account the caliber of some men to shoulder the responsibilities of leadership at family or societal level. What a privilege we've as men! Qualified w/out a test.
As a man myself there are times I've thought perhaps some expectations are too much. For instance, I'm expected to not fear snakes jut because I'm a man. I actually fear snakes... but I must man up and face one if it comes in the house and I'm the only man around. This is bad
And then I have seen foolish men who marry or are found in the company of wiser women. They must lead because society said so. Oh what a struggle it is to want to appear wise when you're a fool just because you're a man! Can't we allow those who can lead do so despite the gender?
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Jul 22, 2020
CDC made a presentation on the outlook of the COVID-19 in Zambia. The presentation shows that things will get worse before they can improve.

The GOOD NEWS is that CDC offers feasible options to save lives in Zambia.

Here is a summary

A Thread! Please Read!
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There are many parts to the equation of escaping poverty. One of them is BLACK TAX, defined as income black professionals give to their extended families to support them. Below are some questions on how you deal or intend to deal with BT. Quote or reply #NoDignityInPoverty
Black tax, a reality or an imaginary excuse by selfish elites?
Ever been a beneficiary of black tax or not?
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