Thread by @WombsNotForRent

Thread: When is a mother a mother?

Many People have heard of Baby Gammy, the Thai boy born to a surrogate mother and rejected by his Australian commissioning parents due to his having Down’s syndrome whilst they kept his twin sister. Gammy’s mother opted to raise him herself.

Not so many people are familiar with Britain’s own Baby Grammy, a twin girl who was cruelly rejected by her commissioning mother who kept the sibling baby boy.

Woman rejected disabled surrogate baby as a ‘dribbling cabbage’.

thetimes.co.uk/article/906372…

In the USA the mother of Seraphina Harrell refused the demands of commissioning parents to abort baby Seraphina due to her serious congenital abnormalities even after being offered $10,000 to do so. The Harrell’s (her surrogate mother & husband) adopted her and cared for her.

The Harrell’s cared for Seraphina until her death shortly before her eight birthday.

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8…

In another case, unrelated to disability, a UK surrogate mother who had made an unwise independent agreement with friends understood she was ultimately responsible for the baby she was carrying, and appears to have decided to raise the baby herself.

The commissioning father proved to be somewhat unreliable, asking her to keep the baby “for a few months” until he had sorted himself.

surrogacy has gone wrong
mumsnet.com/Talk/surrogacy…

Another USA case of a surrogate mother, Heather, who refused to abort a baby on the demand of the CPs is discussed on our blog here.

stopsurrogacynowuk.org/2021/06/25/bre…

What these cases show us is that surrogate mothers have a strong sense of maternal responsibility to the babies they carry. They may coach themselves the baby “isn’t theirs” “they are just #extremebabysitting ”, not for nothing do surrogacy agencies offer regular counselling.

But when their baby is rejected they step up and mother the baby themselves.

Which brings us to the question - when is a mother a mother?

If pre-birth parental orders are accepted into UK law, as proposed by the law commission, then surrogate mothers will not be legal mothers at birth.

In the consultation document the Law Commission state that if the commissioning parents reject the child then social services will have to step in the same as they would in a situation where natural parents reject a child.

With a pre-birth parental order in place would a surrogate mother need to adopt her own baby, as the Harrell’s did? Who cares for the baby whilst parental responsibility is being decided?
Who agrees medical decisions if the baby requires medical treatment?

Would social services step in leaving the surrogate mother with no say? Would hospitals need to go to court to have the baby declared a ward of court in order for best interests decisions to be made, independent of the (surrogate) mother?

And with twins - is it OK for CPs to take one child and have the other child adopted? Would this nullify the pre-birth parental order for both twins returning legal rights to the surrogate mother?

In which case, this would mean the surrogate mother was suddenly the legal mother after all, the mother of both babies, until legal responsibility of the chosen one was handed over.

These different scenarios will need to be thoroughly explored in order to prioritise the best interests of the child whilst protecting the rights of the mother.

#surrogacy #uksurrogacy #LawCommission #BuildingFamilies
#ParentalResponsibility #SurrogateMothers #Mothers

Less than 24 hours later and we are overwhelmed by the level of support and interest. Thank you! These were select examples but here are some others...

The mother of Delaney Skye was asked by the Commissioning Parents to abort, as like Grammy, she was diagnosed with #DownsSyndrome in the womb - this 2016 article shows she is reaching her milestones. abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/surr…

The 2008 Baby Manji case saw a little girl 'stateless' as no one would claim her. The Commissioning Parents from Japan were divorcing and the Indian Surrogacy Mother did not want to keep the baby. #InternationalSurrogacy was banned in Indian in 2018.

(Though we understand from our international connections that there are efforts being made to overturn this ban.) #bansurrogacy

There's also this - "he gave the baby up for adoption due to serious regret."

https://twitter.com/JenniferLahl/status/1417527064895254531?s=20&t=sZOb-nRWSSa9-SYPlQ0PPQ

Finally, here at 1h25 in, it is estimated that half of all the babies in #Ukraine 's orphanages are as a result of #surrogacy as babies were left uncollected before #RussiaInvadedUkraine