Thread by @Hey_There_Satan

#shinkami
Shinsou has joined Class A and is experiencing his first crush but he's got no fucking idea how to flirt. So Shinsou puts oranges in Denki's backpack as a form of loving seduction...but now Denki thinks he's being haunted by some kind of citrusy poltergeist.
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(Based on this post that @etannnnnnnnnnn sent me)

Shinsou knows a few things.
He knows the world is full of cruelty and prejudice. He knows he has to work harder than others to get the same treatment. He knows he'll be sore after quirk training with Aizawa. He knows Bakugou has a 80% chance of shouting at any given time of day.

But he does NOT know what the hell to do about his crush on Class A's resident sunshine boy and idiot savant, Kaminari Denki.

He may be happily ensconced in a loving home for the first time in his life, and amazingly with his childhood hero Eraserhead of all people, but finally having a safe and good family does not erase years of missed opportunities for learning normal social interactions.

Such as flirting and seduction.
His entire understanding comes from seeing his new dads. The way Erasermic flirts is his papa always making sure his dad has fresh coffee, cats, and head pats, and Aizawa finds time to dance and sing with Hizashi despite a busy schedule. It works.

But Shinsou knows Kaminari isn't Aizawa or Hizashi (thankfully) even if he bears a resemblance in attitude and hair color to his papa. Hitoshi might not know how to best show his affections, but he suspects what works for his parents wouldn't work for sure on Denki.

Hitoshi is absolutely way too embarrassed to ask his dads for advice. He's been living with them for a year now but saying "it's hard for me to accept hugs" was a lot easier than, "you know that kid in class who makes you want to pull your hair out? How do I get him to kiss me?"

So he turns to the real parent of a 21st-century child: The Internet.

He knows he can't trust everything he sees online. In fact, he knows he shouldn't trust like 90% of it unless it's got reliable proven sources or corresponding data evidence. But it could at least give him a starting point.

The answers are less than helpful, however.

Eye contact? He already makes eye contact with people most of the time, how is that flirting?

Touching? Well, he did grab Denki in order to throw him across the gym in practice once...

Compliments? Shinsou didn't feel ready to be that bold, even if Denki was quick to shower Hitoshi in them.

Smiling? Yeah, no. Shinsou had learned his lesson about that. Todoroki still won't stop with his lovechild theories.

Gifts? Hmmm...

Shinsou doesn't have a lot of money so they couldn't be anything extravagant, but he does finally have a family that gives him an allowance and doesn't make him beg the school kitchens for leftovers.

Shinsou watches Kaminari carefully for a week, which isn't hard since the blonde is practically glued to his side since he joined class anyway, and tries to see what he could offer the boy that's both affordable and useful to him.

After only a few days the answer becomes obvious.

Denki Kaminari eats like a college student who is finally free to eat whatever he wants but only has $2 in their bank account and too many papers to leave the house for groceries anyway.

Candy bars, energy drinks, cup noodles... Literally, nothing of useful nutritional value unless Bakugou makes him something and Katsuki stopped doing that last month so Denki "learns to fucking feed himself before he dies of malnutrition at 17."

Shinsou isn't a doctor, but he's had to fend for himself long enough to recognize there are a few vitamins and minerals that can go a long way. It seems clear that adding a bit of fresh fruit or veggies could help Denki stave off illness or collapse. And he has the budget for it.

But, and Shinsou /can/ admit this to himself at least, he is also a bonafide COWARD™️ when it comes to interacting with Kaminari in a way that isn't sarcastic one-liners he knows will make Denki laugh or quiet affirmations during homework sessions.

So he cuts his losses and figures the best way to do it is to secretly stash an orange in Denki's Pikachu backpack when the boy hits the locker room to change for quirk practice.

Hitoshi expected Denki would find it while digging through his bag for math homework that he'd "SWEAR HE PUT IN THERE THIS MORNING, ECTOPLASM-SENSEI, HONEST!" and at least have something to snack on in detention with vitamins in it.
(hit tweet limit, continued soon)

So math class rolls around and, as expected, Denki spends a few minutes tearing through his backpack for the homework he may have finished but definitely forgot to bring to class, but Kaminari does not handle the orange the way Shinsou assumed he would.

Hitoshi figured that Denki would just eat it later, or even in class while being yelled at by a no-longer-really-angry-just-resigned-to-missing-homework-Ectoplasm. You know, like a normal person who encounters an orange.

Sometimes Shinsou forgets that one of the reasons he likes Denki so much is because he's not a normal person. He's eccentric and bright and full of frankly bizarre thoughts and friendship and hugs...but not a lot of normal.

Denki blinks at the orange in his hand before saying, "Sensei...I think I must have bumped into someone with an orange-making quirk and they turned my homework into it!?"

There's a few seconds of silence before the class bursts into giggles.

Ectoplasm even chuckles a bit before sighing, "Of all your excuses this is the most imaginative yet, Kaminari. But it still isn't a math assignment so I'll have to mark you down as missing it...again."

"A fucking orange quirk?" Bakugou scoffs, "if you're gonna bullshit at least be convincing."
Jirou snorts in agreement, "Yeah, I have to agree that isn't your best line. How would it even happen? Someone randomly fell into your backpack and touched only math papers with a quirk?"

"I'm serious!" Denki insists, his mouth twisted in an adorable pout. "You know me, I never have healthy stuff! How else would an orange get in here?"

Sero laughs before handing Ectoplasm the home assignment, "Maybe you pissed off some kind of fruit ghost."

"Yeah! And now it's gonna be haunting you with citrus until you start doing your homework on time!" Mina adds, excitedly jumping in.

Bakugou just frowns in response, "That's ridiculous."

Shinsou almost expects Denki to agree, but Kaminari just says, "Or maybe this is because I accidentally electrocuted that orange tree at USJ last year and a ghost who was living in it is angry with me! ARE THESE THREATS?!"

"That's MORE ridiculous than the first idea you idiots had," Katsuki groans, with the kind of tone that says "I definitely didn't expect better from you but damn I hate being right."

Ectoplasm tells the class to quiet down and they return to the math homework, but Shinsou notices Denki is staring at the orange on his desk as though it'll explode at any moment.

This was not the desired outcome Hitoshi had hoped for, but he wouldn't be in the heroic course if he just accepted his first failures and gave up on everything.

He'd just have to use a different fruit.

So the next day Hitoshi puts an apple in Denki's desk before homeroom. He suspects Bakugou might have seen him slip it in but he doesn't say anything so Hitoshi will happily avoid that conversation if he can.

And when class starts and Aizawa tells them to pull out their books on Quirk Law, Kaminari finds the shiny fresh apple as intended.

Though there is more screaming than Hitoshi anticipated.

"IT STRUCK AGAIN! THE FRUIT GHOST STRUCK AGAIN!" Kaminari shouts, brandishing the apple so his friends can see it and confirm the poltergeist he's suspecting.

"Maybe the ghost is just trying to tell you that you're a fruity gay," Mina says with a seriousness that greatly amuses and disturbs the class.

Denki frowns, "Man, to get bi-erasure from a ghost is somehow even worse than human ones."

Bakugou rolls his eyes, "Or it realizes you eat like shit and is trying to shame you into choosing something with protein over sugar for once in your moronic life."

Kaminari merely smiles, "I knew you thought it was a ghost too, Kacchan! That settles it. If Bakubro thinks so too then it's gotta be."

Shinsou sees Katsuki turn to glare at Hitoshi but Aizawa orders everyone to shut up and face the board.

"Ghosts aren't real, Kaminari, that's illogical... and even if they were, I doubt a spirit is unable to move on because your diet is so repellant."

Denki seems to consider this reasonable statement for all of 3 seconds before saying, "I bet I could download one of those ghost-finding apps and find out!"

Aizawa has the decency to not even look disappointed or surprised before returning to class without comment.

The next day Shinsou has left a bowl of strawberries sitting on Denki's desk, along with a note explaining he is not a ghost but merely someone who wants to see Denki stay healthy.

Bakugou gives him a very unimpressed look upon seeing it, and reading the note- nosy bastard.

Denki runs into class mere seconds before the bell rings, and every student is watching for his reaction- especially since Mina had so politely read the note aloud to the entire class, declaring a secret admirer must be responsible.

Shinsou did his best to look unphased by it.

Judging by Bakugou's laughter, Midoryia's pitying glance, and Aizawa-sensei's disappointed look, Hitoshi thinks he might have been less successful than he hoped.

When Kaminari spots the strawberries he smiles and plucks one to eat before he even reads the note. This strikes Shinsou as foolhardy but Denki thinks a ghost is responsible so perhaps he shouldn't expect much.

"You don't seem as scared this time," Jirou notices, "did you figure out it's a secret admirer after all?"

Denki bites his lip, "Well the ghost app told me it was haunted by a GOOD ghost so I figured they were safe...I didn't realize the ghost thought I was hot!"

"No," Bakugou growls. "This is the exact opposite of why the dumbass behind your fruit haunting left a note. You aren't dealing with a ghost you're dealing with a pussy."

Kaminari merely smiled and shook his head, "Nah, I saw the part in ghostbusters where the dude's belt is opened and the invisible ghosty person totally starts suc-"

Aizawa slams a book down onto his desk, "I'm stopping this here before you wind up in detention till you're 40."

Tokoyami hums from his corner of the classroom, "I am intrigued by the possibilities of ghostly romance, though. Perhaps you could tell me about it later, Kaminari?"

And really, 'get you a friend like Tokoyami,' is all Shinsou can think cause he knows Denki will listen.

If nobody promised him the chance to infodump later they'd be hearing about ghostly blowjobs for the rest of class and, to be perfectly honest, Shinsou could happily go the rest of his life not talking about blowjobs with his dad and classmates.

Denki happily nods and eats the rest of the strawberries. Shinsou is glad one of his gifts has been accepted- he's technically progressed in his courtship. This is less of a failure than the other two tries and he's smart enough to know slow progress is still progress.

It's only after class when his father pulls him aside that he realizes it wasn't a complete victory.

"Hitoshi, I had hoped it was a fluke when Kaminari started receiving groceries that looked similar to ones we went shopping for this week, but Class A lives to distress me."

Shinsou grins crookedly at his father, hoping to achieve some semblance of innocence, "Can we just agree a ghost is responsible and not have this talk?"

Shinsou grins crookedly at his father, hoping to achieve some semblance of innocence, "Can we just agree a ghost is responsible and not have this talk?"

Aizawa sighs, "Unfortunately no. Not when that ghost is my son and he's disrupting class because the boy he likes is too stupid to realize he's being given gifts by a classmate."

"Kaminari isn't stupid," Shinsou defends, knowing his dad doesn't mean it in a cruel way but still feeling responsible for standing up for Denki. "He just learns differently and has interests he prefers to learn about instead."

Aizawa smiles, a small indulgent little thing that half the class would assume meant they were about to get more homework but Hitoshi knows is in fact Aizawa's "fatherly grin."

"I know he's not stupid, Hitoshi. But he currently believes a ghost is trying to convince him to have sex by leaving him fruit so I'm not about to suggest he skip a grade."

"Fair enough," Shinsou can't help but snort at his father's words. "I thought it would work though."

Aizawa pats him on the head affectionately, "you might be dealing with a boy who is closer to a golden retriever than a human, but feeding him isn't going to be enough to convey feelings."

"So what do I do?" Hitoshi asks quietly, glad his father hasn't forbidden his crush.

"The same thing your papa did when dealing with the idiot he was crushing on. You're going to have to speak bluntly to him face to face where there isn't any room for miscommunication or ghostly assumptions."

Hitoshi widens his eyes at the story, "You mean you didn't understand when papa was flirting with you in school? I thought Denki was supposed to be more like him than like
/you/."

Aizawa glares, "If you promise to never mention this again I'll help you, but even /one/ word of it to any member of this class and I'm making that photo of you in the cat footie pajamas my school computer desktop wallpaper the next time I do a presentation, understand me?"

"Understood," Hitoshi gulps, knowing his dad would be delighted to accidentally put his wallpaper up on the projector before opening the relevant class lesson.

The next day comes and Shinsou is so nervous that he's ready to either pass out or be sick to his stomach if somebody so much as looks at him, but he's armed with his father's wisdom and Bakugou's reluctant assurance that Denki wouldn't be mean about it if he confessed.

After class ends, Hitoshi notices that Denki was sad not to find any fruit on his desk or hidden in his backpack. He spent nearly all of English class looking through his bag and desk for /something/ that would show the fruity poltergeist was still interested in him.

It nearly breaks Hitoshi's heart to see the smile drop from Denki's face when Sero says, "Maybe the ghost isn't interested anymore," before apologizing and assuring Denki that the ghost must just be busy today after seeing how sad he was about it.

Shinsou bides his time and when the end of the school day finally comes around, he asks Denki if he wants to spend time together in his room. Kaminari brightens up immediately, mentioning how surprised he was to be invited cause Hitoshi never asks him to hang out first.

Shinsou shrugs, "Just thought you could use the company today, you looked pretty down earlier."

Denki's cheeriness drops again at the reminder, "I guess I'm just disappointed, you know? Even if it was a ghost it was pretty cool that somebody liked me enough to give me gifts."

Hitoshi stopped himself from shouting, "SORRY, I WAS THE FRUITY SPECTER THAT WAS HAUNTING YOU, I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD SUSPECT THE SUPERNATURAL BUT I'VE GOT 5 ORANGES IN MY ROOM IF YOU WANT ALL OF THEM" but it was a close call.

Instead, he reached out an arm to wrap around Denki's sadly haunched shoulders, and says, "I think I've got something that might cheer you up."

They walk back to the dorms and Hitoshi listens to Denki chat animatedly about all the research on ghost types and folklore that might have to do with his unexpected gifts.

"At first I was like super positive it was a domovoy, you know those slavic little house spirits that are supposed to help you with stuff if you treat them right? But then I saw you have to keep your home tidy and there's no way a domovoi would live happily in /my/ room-

So I thought maybe it was a Zashiki-Warashi, but those tend to be in older houses and the UA dorms are way too new. I guess I still gotta do more research but at least I'm learning a bunch of cool stuff along the way!"

Shinsou can't help but smile fondly at how passionate Kaminari is about this, and he almost feels bad about the way he's going to ruin any possible folkloric explanation by admitting to being the gifter but he hopes he can make up for it.

By the time they get to Hitoshi's dorm room, Shinsou has been educated about at least 5 more different household spirits.

"I'm just hoping I can figure it out so I know what to give them back as a gift, you know? Cause some like sugar but others want a warm place or milk..."

Shinsou opens his dorm room and invites the blond in, asking, "Maybe it just wants you to be happy?"

Denki walks in and drops himself on Hitoshi's bed like it's his own and sighs, "I'd still want to say thank you though, I do feel better when I've eaten good stuff!"

Hitoshi closes the door behind them and walks to the mini fridge to extract a bowl of fresh raspberries, "Maybe the ghost thinks it's thanks enough that you're enjoying them and feeling better?"

He hands the fruit to Denki who takes it without thought and begins eating.

"You're so smart, Toshi! But if that were true...why wouldn't the ghost give me anything today? Do you think they thought I didn't deserve it anymore?"

And any idea of not admitting to the truth is gone because Hitoshi cannot handle Denki thinking he isn't deserving.

"I stopped because you kept thinking you were being haunted, Kaminari."

It wasn't the grand and specifically clear worded speech he and his dads had worked on last night, but Shinsou wasn't going to allow a second longer of Denki being sad.

Kaminari froze, his hand frozen halfway to his mouth with raspberries on each of his fingers like thimbles.

"Huh?" was all he manages to say, allowing Hitoshi to give the proper message he'd worked so hard on composing earlier.

"I care about you, Denki. I know I said I have no intention of making friends, and that's true. I had no intention of that. I thought I'd come here and at best tolerate my classmates before graduating and never seeing any of you outside of work...

But then everyone was so /nice,/ and you were the worst of them all- giving me compliments and talking about how cool my quirk is, how you thought my face would be attractive to girls and that I belonged here with the rest of you...

I was really angry about it for a week, wanting nothing more but to keep disliking your class so I could instead focus solely on becoming the best hero possible. But soon I figured out I was just angry because I didn't feel deserving of the kindness you were all showing me...

Finally I started to make friends," Hitoshi pauses and he's sure his face looks as displeased as he feels to admit to being friends with people he's obviously been friends with for months now. "And I wasn't angry anymore. Not at your class, anyway, how could I be angry?

So I wanted to pay you all back. I thought that in order to deserve your kindness I had to be just as giving to everybody else, but that's not the kind of person I am. I can't easily communicate that I care about people. I don't have enough practice with friends..."

Kaminari reaches out to place a gentle hand on Hitoshi's arm, and Shinsou snorts when he feels the cold raspberries on four of Denki's fingertips before Kaminari switches hands to touch him without fruit involved.

"So I tried to show I cared for everybody by being more present and showing up to movie nights and being more open and all that stuff you guys are so good at. But I realized I didn't feel for them as strongly as I did for you. It wasn't enough to just be polite or kind...

I asked myself why the hell it was different, and figured out I had...feelings for you. Like, new and strong and unpleasant emotions that I've never had with other people. When I figured out it was because I had a crush on you I had no idea what to do next...

I thought about what you needed that I could give you, and I'd always been in homes where food was scarce so nothing seemed as obvious an act of caring and affection than giving you food. I noticed you don't eat that well so I thought I'd give you fruit."

Denki cringes, "And then I accused you of being a weirdly threatening citrus-obsessed ghost."

Shinsou shrugs, "Honestly I was upset at first, and then it was kind of funny, but after a while I was frustrated because I wasn't getting my point across. So I wrote that note."

Kaminari starts to eat the raspberries off his fingers, "The note I thought the fruit ghost left me..."

"The very same," Shinsou agrees.

"When it was clear that wasn't working, I knew I had to confront you and speak openly," Hitoshi says, specifically avoiding any reference to the story his dad told him so Denki wouldn't have to see those cat footie pajamas pics anytime soon.

Kaminari chews on his lip, looking in deep thought for a while before saying, "So, there wasn't a ghost who wanted to recreate that saucy scene from ghostbusters."

"If there was one then it wasn't leaving you that fruit," Shinsou jokes. "I'm gonna be really annoyed if I find out some ghost got to date you by riding my fruity coattails."

Denki laughs, finishing the last raspberry off before using his newly free hands to grab Shinsou's face.

"So, just to be sure I got this right," Kaminari starts. "There's no fruit ghost but there /is/ a super hot boy with social anxiety who tried to romance me with oranges?"

Hitoshi blushed fiercely, replying, "Uh, If you feel that way then yeah-" but was interrupted by Denki pulling his face closer to kiss him soundly on the mouth.

Shinsou just about melted into the sudden kiss once the surprise wore off, and wrapped his arms tightly around Denki.

Kaminari pulls back, a mischievous smile on his face, before adding, "You know, I don't think you've chosen your hero name yet but I'm pretty sure 'Fruit Ninja' is available!"

And Shinsou was delighted that now he could shut Denki up with another kiss.

~The End~

((Thanks for reading! It was a rough day for lots of people so I decided we needed fluff. Feel free to scroll through my messy pinned post for more shinkami threads!))

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