Thread by @Hey_There_Satan

Regular human Kaminari assuming his new boyfriend Is just super into being goth and doing vampire roleplaying, while Shinsou desperately tries to explain he is in fact an actual vampire.
#shinkami #erasermic
🧵

Denki has been dating Hitoshi for an entire month so far and he's never been happier. They have late-night movie marathons and cuddle in Shinsou's room with his blackout curtains. It's going well, even if Denki is confused by just how dedicated Hitoshi is to vampire roleplay.

Like he's never seen the guy in sunlight. Shinsou has singlehandedly managed to do most of his college pre-med courses in the evening and sleeps super late. He has a nightshift at the local blood bank, which Denki thought was weird but he supposes night owls gotta give blood too!

Kaminari takes it all in stride. He's well aware that being teased for being eccentric sucks, and he'd never want Hitoshi to feel bad for being authentically himself- even if that means Dracula cosplay or whatever. Denki is a good boyfriend and he's gonna support it.

So when Hitoshi starts talking about introducing Denki to his sire and letting him in on some "family secrets," Kaminari just sorta guesses he's in for a standard meet the parents and have dinner situation.

Denki dresses as nicely as his fairly tacky wardrobe allows and shows up at the address Hitoshi gave him, thinking that he must have insomnia in his genetics cause most families have already eaten dinner by midnight. It would certainly explain Hitoshi's eating habits.

Kaminari swears that Shinsou lives solely on coffee and those jelly pouches he bought at hot topic that resemble blood bags. Denki admires his dedication, even if he likes fast food way too much to partake himself. Plus Toshi gave him a weird look when he asked him to share once.

Denki adjusts his choker and fluffs his hair a bit before hitting the adorable bat-shaped doorbell on the old-fashioned victorian house's door. Kaminari can totally imagine that little Hitoshi begged his parents to install it or something.
"Too cute!" Denki thinks, taking a pic.

The door is eventually answered and Kaminari is shocked to see that Hitoshi's dad is just as hardcore into the goth scene as he is! I mean, he's got less fishnet and bangles but the stoic expression, pale skin, and dark scraggly hair? What else could it be but that?

"Hey, you must be Toshi's dad! You're like, the complete spitting image of him! I'm Kaminari, it's nice to meet you!"
He throws out a confident hand to shake, but Hitoshi's father merely glances at it before stepping aside so Denki can come in.

Kaminari strolls into the old-fashioned house with bright and curious eyes.
"Whoa, you've done the whole place up to suit your look! I bet you guys watched the Addams Family like it was I Love Lucy, huh?"

Shinsou's dad just stared at Denki, his unimpressed expression seemed to say, "I had no idea who my son was dating but I never would have assumed...this."

But Denki was a pro at winning parents over, he'd just have to keep up the charm!

Hitoshi came rushing in a moment later, eerily silent on his feet as always, and embraced Kaminari in a tight hug before kissing his forehead.

"Hey, I'm glad you could make it. Dad, this is Denki. Denki, this is my dad."

Shinsou's father didn't even glance at Kaminari, merely turning to his son to ask, "Please tell me this yappy thing is dinner and /not/ your boyfriend."

Denki cracks up, "You're too funny, Mr. S!"

"It's Aizawa," he corrects without a smile.

"Whoa, first name basis already?" Kaminari grins, pleased his notorious charm had won over the father at long last.

"No," Aizawa huffs. "Hitoshi and I do not share a last name."

Denki wasn't so socially incompetent that he didn't know you shouldn't push the subject when someone told you they were adopted. He simply smiles and deflects with, "Huh, you look so alike I could have sworn you shared blood!"

"Well, we /do/ share blood," Shinsou laughs.

Kaminari nods, clearly this Aizawa person must be an uncle or something. They look way too similar not to be related somewhere down the line.

"Anyway," Hitoshi continues, "come meet my papa."

Denki is soon whisked away to the kitchen where a tall blonde man is serenading a bowl of what Kaminari can only assume is homemade pasta sauce.

"Pops, I want you to meet my boyfriend," Shinsou says loudly enough to be heard over the singing.

The blonde man turns around and breaks into a huge smile, "Oh! You must be Kaminari, we've heard so much about you! Please come sit, dinner is almost ready and I can smell that you're hungry."

"Thanks! Should I call you Mr. Aizawa too?" Denki asks, sitting on a chair by the counter.

"So formal!" the man crows. "I try not to act as ancient as I am, please just call me Hizashi."

"Ancient? You don't look a day over thirty, Hizashi!" Denki asserts with a smile.

Hizashi turns to Shinsou with a soft look, "You picked a real sweetheart, kiddo! Try not to drain this one, okay?"

"Pops!" Hitoshi scolds, looking anxiously at his boyfriend for a reaction.

Kaminari just giggles, loving how into this whole life Shinsou's family is. He wonders if it started with the adoptive parents or if they just matched well with who Hitoshi already was as a kid.

They all continue chatting for a bit while Hizashi puts the finishing touches on some chicken dish Denki doesn't recognize before they all head to the dining room. Like most of the house, the dining room is full of antique furniture and gorgeous vintage pieces.

"Whoa, your house just keeps getting cooler! This table alone must have cost a fortune!" Denki says, hanging off of Hitoshi's arm as they make their way to the long ebony wood dining table. Its legs were intricately carved and Kaminari fought the urge to touch them.

"Well, uh, we've had plenty of time to save up!" Hizashi says with a laugh, setting the pasta and chicken dishes down.

"Only took a few centuries," Aizawa shrugs before joining them.

Kaminari cackles at the joke, "Toshi must have gotten your sense of humor!"

They all sit down, with Aizawa and Hizashi intimidatingly at the head ends of the long table, and Shinsou and Kaminari next to each other on one side between them.

Denki reaches out to hold Hitoshi's hand, seeking comfort and also just still so happy to have a loving and kind boyfriend like him that he tries to take advantage of every chance he has to show how happy dating Shinsou makes him.

Hitoshi, ever the gentleman, reaches over and serves Denki some of the chicken dish but none of the pasta. Kaminari figures if he's still hungry he'll ask for some of that after he's finished his plate.

He does want to try it though cause it looks super tasty, so after everyone has been served Denki sticks a finger in Hitoshi's bowl and snags some of the sauce to put in his mouth.

The entire room goes silent.

And okay yeah it's not his best moment as far as table manners go, but he thought nobody would notice! Denki pops the sauce-covered finger into his mouth and hums happily.

"Not bad! It could use some garlic, though."

Hizashi starts laughing immediately, having to wipe a tear from his eye as he tells his son, "You sure know how to pick em, kiddo! This one's a riot!"

Denki doesn't understand what's so funny about the suggestion of altering the recipe, but he's happy that Hizashi liked it.

Shinsou just smiles warmly at Kaminari before squeezing his hand, "Yeah, Denki's been great. He even took the whole vampire thing without any trouble. It's been nice to be myself around someone."

And Kaminari is ready to swoon because OF COURSE, he wants his boyfriend to be his authentic self around him! Hitoshi might be a walking gothic wet dream but he's also super sweet and sensitive and considerate, he should be treated with as much care as he gives to others.

Denki rushes to tell him that, "Babe! Anyone who judges you on your appearance and what you're into instead of your kindness and wit doesn't deserve you! It makes me so sad to think that you ever felt like you had to hide who you are when who you are is a warm wonderful person!"

"Well, not /warm/," Aizawa snorts. "But I am glad to hear you value Hitoshi for who he is. Perhaps I misjudged some of your character, Kaminari."

"Only some of it?" Denki asks.

Aizawa levels him with that same unimpressed look from before, "You might not be a corpse chaser but you're still a talkative blonde kid with no filter and the incessant need to make chit-chat, no amount of praising my son can fix that fact."

Denki laughs, fully aware that people like Aizawa aren't usually fond of his levels of energy and chattiness but thankfully it didn't seem to be /so bad/ that he'd forbid him from dating Hitoshi.

"I dunno what a corpse chaser is but I wasn't one till I met Toshi I guess!"

Shinsou chuckles, "It's the term for people who specifically go searching for vampiric partners."

"Huh, they could have been way more imaginative! Like, call them Cape Cadets or Bloody Buddies or something." Denki thinks aloud.

"I do like Bloody Buddies," Hizashi admits with a fond smile. "At the next council meeting, I'll bring it up as an alternative term!"

"There's a whole council?" Denki asks, surprised by just how in-depth this subculture seems to go. "Is it just vampires or do you take anyone?"

"It took a few centuries but Dhampirs like Hitoshi are finally allowed to participate," Aizawa elaborates. "Though they certainly won't be letting humans in any time soon."

"Huh, I had no idea it's been going on so long!" Denki adds between bites of dinner. Say what you will about the garlic-less pasta, but Hizashi makes a mean chicken dish. Kaminari makes a mental note to ask for the recipe later, maybe Hitoshi will eat it if it's his pops' food.

"We don't exactly broadcast our existence considering all the...bad publicity that tends to happen afterward," Hizashi explains. "Just going off of New England in the 18th century alone..."

"19th," Aizawa corrects.

"19th then," Hizashi sighs like it's an old argument, "You know damn well all the different eras blend together after a while, Shouta."

"I'm bad with dates too!" Kaminari chimes in. "But hopefully not the romantic kind?"

Hitoshi chuckles, "You're not the worst. No stakes, no salt circles, and you always invite me inside before I have to ask. What's to complain about?"

"Just don't insist on marrying Toshi in a church and you'll be fine!" Hizashi laughs, raising a hand daintily to cover his mouth and making his frilly shirtsleeves shake.

"Pops!" Shinsou scolds, his pale cheeks pinking slightly. "We've only been dating a month."

"Your father and I knew we'd be together forever after only a few days!" Hizashi insists. "Nothing wrong with a little eternity when you have the right people by your side."

"The stakes certainly seem a lot higher when you add eternity in there," Denki says wistfully, "but I totally get what you mean. When you're with the people you love it feels like no amount of time is enough."

"Don't say stakes," Aizawa insists, rubbing the scar under his eye.

"It's a bit of a sore point around here," Hizashi elaborates.

"I'm pretty 'once bitten, twice shy' about sharp things too," Denki says, attempting to comfort Aizawa but only succeeding in making Shinsou and Hizashi laugh.

The conversation continues easily and Kaminari finds that, although eccentric and with an oddly Eastern European accent in some moments, Hitoshi's dads obviously care a lot about him and just want him to be happy. How can Denki dislike anyone who shares his same hopes?

They eventually make their way through dinner and dessert- a surprisingly salty blood orange sorbet, with extra glasses of wine for Shinsou and his dads- before it hits 2 AM and Denki can't help but yawn.

"I see it's time for someone to be tucked into their coffin!" Hizashi says

Kaminari smiles, "Usually I can keep up with Toshi's nocturnal schedule better but this week has been finals so I'm exhausted. Maybe we can do this again some time, assuming I didn't make a bad impression?"

"We'd love for you to visit again!" Hizashi insists. "It's nice to see Toshi with people who value him."

Shinsou gives him another soft kiss on the top of his head before standing up and escorting Denki from the table. "I'll walk him back to the dorms, thanks for having us."

"Come home more often," Aizawa says while staring at his son meaningfully. "Eri was sad she couldn't be here tonight and I'd rather she meet Kaminari herself instead of bothering me for information."

Denki gave Hizashi a big hug goodbye, and a shorter much more one-sided hug to Aizawa, before bidding them goodnight and stepping out into the chill night air with Hitoshi at his side.

Kaminari is bursting with joy at being invited back, "I guess you can call me Van Hellsing cause I fucking /killed/ that vampire dinner, right Toshi?"

Shinsou snorts before pulling Denki closer to him and tucking his head under Hitoshi's chin, "Jeez, just when I thought you'd run out of vampire puns."

"Never! Though I gotta say, it's super cute that your whole family is into the vampire thing with you. Hashtag goals."

"Well yeah, they took me under their literal wing once they found my body. Dhampirs tend to only turn after death and we've no idea who my bio dad is but you can't exactly walk up to your mom and say hi after she went to your funeral."

Denki froze, unsure how to reply to such a statement. "Babe, what do you mean your funeral? Did they like, dig you back up when they saw you were still alive or something?"

Hitoshi pauses, pulling Denki away from him for a second so he can look him in the eye, "No, that's part of the whole undead thing. You have to die. I was conscious in that grave for a week before Aizawa found me. He and Hizashi took me in and taught me everything I know."

Kaminari squints as he thinks carefully, letting all the pieces fit together.

"Babe, are you saying you're like...a legit deadass vampire for realsies?"

Hitoshi blinks, "Uh, yeah? I've told you like eight times. We had that whole conversation two weeks into dating when you asked why I couldn't go on dates during the day? Did you...seriously not realize until now?"

Kaminari can feel himself blushing violently, "Okay, but in my defense, Toshi, I thought you were just a super hot goth guy into kinky vampire shit and I was like 'bite me, vladdy, sounds like a good time'- I DIDN'T REALLY THINK ABOUT IT!"

Denki expects a lot of things to happen after that. He expects to be broken up with, at least. Possibly murdered and drained of his blood. Maybe even just knocked out and then used as some kind of fucked up vampire pinata at his next family gathering.
But instead, Hitoshi laughs.

"Babe, you literally drank blood tonight after informing my parents they should put /garlic/ in their food and hearing about how many centuries old my parents are. I have literal fangs I've used to drink from you during sex. You once made a cross and I fainted for an hour."

"WELL YEAH IN RETROSPECT IT SEEMS PRETTY OBVIOUS BUT I'M KIND OF AN IDIOT," Kaminari shouts, embarrassed and all too aware of how much of a fool he'd made himself in front of Hitoshi's parents.

Shinsou just keeps laughing, but the look in his eye is fond instead of mocking. "Sweetling, you aren't an idiot. You're just...not very detail oriented."

Denki groans as his boyfriend held him close, "Oh my god I told your dad to put fucking garlic in his blood..."

"You did, and he thought it was hysterical." Hitoshi sighs, keeping Kaminari close to him. "You've also fallen asleep on my chest for nearly an entire month and never noticed I had a heartbeat so really that's the least embarrassing thing."

Denki looks up at Shinsou, still embarrassed but willing to have hope for their relationship given the embrace. "So, are you gonna dump me or...?"

"Of course not," Hitoshi says without any hesitance. "Denki, I didn't fall for you because you're a vampire scholar."

"I've read all the twilight books," Denki admits. "More than once."

Shinsou scoffs, "Okay well /that/ is a break-up worthy offense in a vampiric household, but I'm willing to look past it."

"So we're okay still?" Denki asks, biting his lip while searching Hitoshi's face for the slightest sign of rejection.

Shinsou smiles, "Yes, my darling fool, we are okay. Just don't crack any Edward jokes. I mean it."

Kaminari pauses, "Okay but can I just make just one more vampire pun tonight?"

Hitoshi stares at him with more than a little bit of judgment, "I don't know, /can/ you?"

"You said you're a Dhampir, right?"

"Yes, Denki, I'm a Dhampir," Hitoshi allows, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Kaminari grins, "Well I'd have thought you were a DAYUM-pir, because your ass is fine as hell!"

And okay, maybe his boyfriend turning into a bat just to avoid Denki seeing him sputter and blush at the awful joke really solidified the whole vampire thing in Kaminari's mind, but he wouldn't have Shinsou any other way.

~The End~

((Thanks for reading, and especially thank you for any QRTs cause those are my favorite part of writing threads! See my pinned replies for more shinkami and erasermic fic))

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