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David Burge Profile picture
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Apr 28 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Damn, this week keep getting better and better
It's The Real Thing®
New #DavePoll: should Coca-Cola bring back cocaine?
QQ: how do you snort Coca-Cola off a stripper's ass? Asking for a friend

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More from @iowahawkblog

David Burge Profile picture
Apr 29
I gotta say "The Department of Homeland Security Counter-Disinformation Governance Board" is some next-level dystopian verbiage
that right there an endless all-you-can-eat Golden Corral buffet of skin-crawling phraseology
really gives off a "Saudi Arabian Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice" vibe, with vigilant minders patrolling the streets to thwack citizens with a switch for uttering insufficient truthiness
Read 4 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Apr 28
impeccable timing
Luckily, with eggs at $3.50 a dozen they won't have to worry much about being pelted
I feel we should spread the word to New York's homeless community about the free buffet and open bar at the Met Museum Monday night
Read 5 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Apr 28
A few more weekend car pics: The Nash Metropolitan of Infinite Recursion ImageImage
Pancho & Lefty (38 Ford Deluxe cabriolet & 34 Ford roadster) Image
I like big butts and I cannot lie

(nearest to furthest: 38 Lincoln Zephyr, 36 Ford, 39 Packard, 40 Chevy) Image
Read 5 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Apr 27
Don't get me wrong, I love my wife, but her attempts at a British accent are an utter disgrace
*You remember Dick Van Dyke's accent in "Mary Poppins"? Straight up authentic East Ender compared to my wife's stab at it
**I should clarify that she isn't trying it all the time, Madonna-style, she just brings it out for humorous remark special occasions, like an Elaine Benes dance
Read 7 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Apr 27
I sincerely apologize to everyone implicated Image
I will remove your avatar from the Six Degrees of Dave graphic upon request, but please be advised this will also cancel your reserved seat on the Dave Earth Escape Ship
*seats are limited Image
Read 5 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Apr 27
I salute our media for finally bringing awareness to the plight of America's most voiceless and endangered community: $20 million per year Twitter hall monitors
Turns out Twitter's algorithm is a small army of easily triggered 26 year old Studies majors given keyboards with McDonald's register icon-like banish buttons, and a $20 million per year lawyer to hold hands and cry with them
btw, I am not of the "Twitter should allow all speech" opinion, I am for efficiency. Twitter could save a lot of overhead with a transparent open source algorithm to spot/ban racist language, doxing, threats, etc., without requiring vast offices full of Assistant Scrutinizers
Read 14 tweets

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