Thread by @MakeYeFretPod

Happy #TerryPratchettDay and happy Headcanon Thursday!

In honour of the Great Man Himselfs birthday - how would Discworld characters spend their birthdays?

Granny can't be having with this, she's not one for fuss. But oh, aren't those some nice old clothes.

(The bees sing to her, early in the morning)

The Daughters In Law have assembled, dusted and polished their little hearts out to provide Nanny with a suitably grand affair.

Nanny, of course, will spend the evening dancing on the tables and singing the Hedgehog song

Tiffany does Not Have Time. She sees to the village folk and returns to her cottage exhausted. The Nac Mac Feegle have made her a cake. It is alarmingly alcoholic and incredibly thoughtful.

Magrat and Verence arrange for some new ointment and lovely, hard-wearing gloves to be delivered to HodgesAARGH. The falcon eats them. And then his ear.

Death has heard of birthdays, and throws Albert a surprise party. The balloons are somewhat deflated but the cake is delicious, once it's been fried in some lard.

(Albert doesn’t really appreciate the reminder of his mortality, but consents to a game of musical chairs when Death looks upset.)

The Librarian has destroyed his birth certificate in case it leads to discovery of his name. Rincewind looks like he is about to say “happy birthday”, so is hung upside-down by his ankles until he is less celebratory.

Ponder throws a small party for HEX. Ridcully gatecrashes, pours a glass of Brandy into the thinking engine and teaches it some filthy songs. The ants are hungover for days.

++ The Hedgehog Can- [Hic]
++ Never Be- ++
…
++ Out of [Hic] Brandy Error ++

The Bursar is left alone as a special treat.

Ridcully throws an annual birthday hunt. He looks forward to it hugely. The faculty, and all the wildlife within a 50-mile radius, do not.

He has a special birthday crossbow, with streamers.

Vimes has done his best to keep his birthday quiet, but Carrot catches wind, has a whip-round and throws the most awkward shindig the watch house has ever seen.

Troll birthday celebrations are complex, due to their beliefs about time. Detritus performs a birthday song that is raucously incomprehensible. The Watch enjoy it mightily.

Cheery takes Angua for a Girls’ Night Out. Angua is sceptical but rolls home happily at 3am with a martini glass and an unidentified feather boa.

Sybil obviously doesn't take the title of Duchess too seriously, at all, but throws a soiree anyway, to keep up appearances.

Havelock is, of course, delighted to attend. No, he doesn't mind the elderly dragon sitting on his foot at all.

Vetinari treats himself to an extra crossword. And works into the night to make up for it.

Drumknott receives a set of paperclips from a mystery admirer. He is Delighted.

The man in charge of the Scorpion Pit is wearing a delightfully festive hat. The people thrown into the Scorpion Pit are strangely un-delighted.