Thread by @OfKnockamillie

Thought I might collate ALL the paid jobs I ever had. I used to temp so I've probably forgotten a few. I am going to start a🧵I occasionally add to otherwise I'd be here all day. Attempting to recall chronologically but no guarantees🥴
1st job: Working in boarding kennels🐩😾/1

2nd job: washer up in posh restaurant called Three Chimneys, Long Melford, Suffolk. It was like working in 🔥🔥🔥 Occasionally destringed a bean. HATED the job the smells were 🤢 not unlike 1st job...
Was fired when new boy got hired /2

Already got mixed up! This is a rewrite. 3rd job at father's business @Codeway in Colchester doing admin type jobs involving press releases. Telephone calls to paper suppliers went very wrong and was accused in writing of 'purporting' to work there by perplexed business owner /3

(3rd job involved word processing package called Word Perfect to load we had to enter MS-DOS - old school!)
4th job - mother's help in Little Chart, Kent plus travelling with horses to warmblood shows. Also counting takings from their newsagent shops. I LIKED this job /4

(4th job involved listening to @barrymanilow and @judietzuke both of which I liked).
5th Martins Newsagent Long Melford. Early morning shift to lunchtime. Early hungover starts difficult. Customers collected Sunday papers from behind the counter with their names on. Major F 😡 /5

6th job personal tragedy in April 88 meant I moved to Reading. I was offered a job in a carpet shop in Bracknell but took a job at a debt tracing agency in Reading town centre. No computers - all done on the phone - few data protection measures in those days & not a good thing /6

7th job (nb these are lost days of my very late teens) it's quite blurry and I was temping but I'll do a tweet per role so job tally is correctish. WH Smith HQ Swindon. Utterly miserable for reasons I don't recall except my inner misery I brought to work with me perhaps /7

8th job Estate agents where I wrote property descriptions of properties I'd never visited. It was the yuppie era and estate agents were still 'cool' so they didn't bother doing a good job mainly... which is how I got my first mortgage aged 18 😬 /8

9th job Building surveyors office in Swindon Old Town -bit more posh than down town- better than estate agents as professionally regulated. Had a massive laugh with Clare Batten from Bristol office. Where are you now Clare? Wondering if there's a hashtag I could use for this🧵 /9

10th job Engineering firm (I think) in a Swindon business park so a v bad location for a pedestrian like me. I was based in the marketing dept - mindless admin I think. Not there too long. The name of the firm escapes me but it was a multinational #adhd #cv /10

11th job deserves a thread of it's own. Admin - typing shipping notes mainly at Coopers Metal, Gipsy Lane near where I lived. Where's there's muck there's brass - a different Aston Martin 🏎️ parked outside every single day. Posh party at Astor pile too /11 bit.ly/3vtl1ZY

12th job @AskNationwide HQ, Establishment Dept. Women had to wear skirts. Smoking allowed at desks. Pub lunches with🍷🍻 Resident Honeywell engineer for lifts that broke down. Someone had a heart attack in front of me and I had to call the ambulance. We had 🖥️ 💾 😍 #adhd #cv /12

13th job in north London helping run a banking staff recruitment agency. 1990 recession meant no work in Swindon, a violent relationship ended, house was repossessed. Fun times. Not great for self-esteem 😱 now aged 21 #adhd #cv /13

14th job (could have been 13th actually and vice versa) typing a pile of medical records at Whipps Cross hospital in a turret with an antique typewriter. Left by lunchtime - only job I ever walked out of. Felt like I was being asked to spin straw into gold #adhd #cv /14

15th job re-run of live-in mother's help. Had passed my driving test so drove child 1 from Stoke Newington to school in Camden and walked child 2 to nursery and then did the pickups. Shopped in Safeway. Cooked a lot of mince. Perk of the job white Peugeot 205!!! #adhd #cv /15

16th job (I am actually like wtf) left in sole charge of a business called Linen Hire in Notting Hill. Rented out all sorts of fabrics mainly food photography some films. Sat in a gorge townhouse surrounded by damask listening to the much loved Nick Clarke on World at 1 #cv /16