Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist Profile picture
May 8, 2022 29 tweets 6 min read Read on X
so i heard it's #WarprizeJiSeason and it's a good time to share an idea that @/phnelt and i thought up:

noble consort lan is the highest ranking consort in wen xu's harem, given as a warprize to ensure his clan's safety. when the wens attack anyways, lwj ditches to go find yllz.
lwj has been living with wen xu for two years, and it has been nothing but fruitless and humiliating. while wen xu is not as overtly cruel as his younger brother, he likes to make lwj do things for him, such as handfeed him or sit in his lap during meetings with the lan.
he gives lwj the title of 'noble consort'. an empty title, really. lwj has little to no control over wen xu's harem; as it turns out, prisoners of war are far more concerned with helping their own families than cooperating with their sibling-consorts. still, lwj tries.
wen xu likes to point out that perhaps giving lwj such a high title was a mistake. what sort of noble consort can't control a harem? and lwj has so far failed to produce any children. tsk, tsk. perhaps the lan have erred in who to give to wen xu. perhaps they can't be trusted.
lwj has lived with and served him long enough to feel more annoyed than terrified at these threats. it is no secret that wen xu favors lwj the most in his harem and would love for lwj to bear him a son—and no firstborn of wen xu's would ever come from a low-ranked consort.
then, the cloud recesses is attacked.

it is devastating news. cloud recesses, burned. lwj's father, dead. his brother, missing. his uncle, in hiding along with the rest of the clan.

lwj storms to wen xu's quarters and demands to see his lord-husband for an explanation.
wen xu just sighs at him as if he's a child. "Oh, Wangji, you know as well as I do that your family was being uncooperative. It was only a lesson. We didn't even exterminate the main branch. You should be grateful."

lwj sees red. "I see," he grits out. "A lesson."
wen xu makes a tutting sound. "Don't be so angry. If you've conceived from our last time together, then your anger might disturb the child. Then I truly wouldn't forgive you or your family for harming my own."

lwj wants, very much, to stab wen xu with his hairpin.
"Remember, Wangji," wen xu says before dismissing lwj, "you have no one but me. So you'd better behave and get my harem in line if you know what's good for you."

lwj has been raised not to lie. he chooses not to say anything.

when he returns to his room, he starts packing.
as powerful as the wens are, there is still one man that the wens are trying very hard to ignore the existence of. lwj has heard rumors; apparently at the start of the sunshot campaign, wrh tried to seize yiling as easy territory. none of the soldiers he sent there returned.
as the war progressed, wrh continuously tried to send soldiers to capture yiling—and failed, each time. infuriated and humiliated at the morale boost such losses were giving the other clans, wrh sent an army to yiling.

the wens' own dead met them in combat. it was a bloodbath.
since then, wrh has stopped trying to take yiling and has forbidden all talk of yiling. that didn't stop rumors from spreading, and lwj has heard plenty from those seeking to gain favor with wen xu through him.

apparently, the events at yiling are the work of only one man.
"The Yiling Patriarch, he's called," one subordinate had whispered conspiratorially to lwj. "Some say he's young and handsome, other say he's old, with rotted flesh. You're lucky you belong to Wen Xu. It would be a shame to lose a pretty thing like you to the Patriarch."
lwj had turned around and immediately reported the subordinate to wen xu for talking about yiling. the subordinate begged for forgiveness from wen xu and spewed curses at lwj as he's dragged away.

"I hope the Yiling Patriarch takes you, you stone-cold bitch!" he'd screamed.
now, as he's packing up his jewels and expensive clothes, lwj hopes very much that the yllz will take him. there's no one else to run to, and lwj's desire to avenge his home and family outweigh his sense of self-preservation. he cannot stay here, doing nothing. he must go.
he has no friends in the harem, and has no qualms knocking out a few of his fellow consorts on his way out of the palace. he no longer has his sword or his guqin, so he must rely on stealth. he hasn't fought for so long.

he's very careful. it takes hours for him to leave.
he almost doesn't make it out. his appearance is discovered, and wen xu predictably orders a massive search for him. lwj has no choice but to kill a few wen guards who spotted him.

the journey to yiling is hard. nobody wants to go there, it seems. lwj treks most of it on foot.
by the time he stumbles into the burial mounds, he has fully accepted the very likely possibility that he will die and be just another body in a mass grave.

he's too weak, and the resentment surrounding him is too strong. he walks for what feels like forever before collapsing.
meanwhile, wwx is chilling on one of the massive curved spikes overlooking the burial mounds and he sees this poor, poor lost soul walking in circles for hours.

wwx: huh. wonder what he's doing here.

lwj: *collapses*

wwx:

wwx: should i do something 🤔
of course wwx rescues him, because he's not an asshole. he carries lwj into the cave he has always resided in and carefully gives him some water before setting him down on his bed.

lwj wakes with a start, surprised by his new surroundings and even more surprised that he's alive.
"Hello."

lwj flinches at the voice; he wasn't prepared to hear another human. he warily eyes the man by the fire.

the man grins from where he's stirring a pot of soup. "Good nap?"

lwj looks him down and up slowly. loose, black robes that barely conceal his chest? shameless.
but.

lwj would be lying if he said that the exposed chest was… unpleasant to look at.

"Are you the Yiling Patriarch?" he asks.

the man shrugs. "Maybe."

lwj looks him over again. he is a bit young to be a patriarch, but there are few reasons for him to be in burial mounds.
"Would you like me to be?" the man asks.

lwj thinks it through. truth be told, he is not picky on who wipes out the main wen branch family and protects the cloud recesses—so long as it gets done.

"I seek help from the Patriarch," he answers. "My family is in danger."
the man raises an eyebrow. "Which family? Your lord-husband's or your birth family?"

lwj's blood runs ice-cold. "You know who I am."

"Yeah, well," the man gestures to the spilled jewelry from lwj's pack. "Kind of obvious. Also, Wen Xu likes to post your portrait everywhere."
of course. lwj takes a deep, steadying breath. how very clever of wen xu—he has managed to brag about his consort's beauty *and* significantly increase the chances of lwj's return should he ever try to make a run for it.

"My only family," he replies.

"Hm," the man hums.
"I've heard of what the Yiling Patriarch is capable of," lwj continues. "I wish to remove the Wens from power and protect my family."

the man's face scrunches up. "You mean, take the fight to Nightless City and dethrone Wen Ruohan?"

lwj nods. "I know it is a lot to ask."
the man sighs and sits on his heels. "Fight the Wens?" he says more to himself than lwj. "The amount of energy that would take…"

"More innocents die every hour that Wen Ruohan is in power," lwj says. "This is an emergency. I would not be here if it were not. Please, Patriarch."
the yllz looks at lwj. he has grey eyes—sharp, but in the intelligent way; not like how wen xu's gaze seems to mockingly cut bone-deep.

"I will think on it," yllz says.

lwj nods. "You may take anything and everything I've brought with me as compensation," he says.
yllz raises one teasing eyebrow. "Noble Consort Lan should be more careful with his words," he says with an easy smile as he looks lwj over, "lest he forget he brought himself, too."

for the first time in a long time, lwj's ears burn. "I did not misspeak," he says.

• • •

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More from @cerbykerby

Nov 20
oh no what if 35 y/o lwj time-travelled back to when he was very little, like maybe 3-4 years old, and his little self mistook him for his father 🥹🥹

((credit to @/nettledaf for the idea of lwj time-travelling))
bby lz is so tiny compared to his grown self. he does his very best to bow properly, as he is told he has to do when greeting his elders, but he is very scared. he knows this man is his father not because he recognizes him, but because no other adult would look so similar to him.
meanwhile hgj is watching this veeeery small child, clearly frightened but trying his best not to show it. he kneels so that he doesn't tower so much over his younger self.

"Who am I?" hgj asks.

lz doesn't meet his gaze. "Fuqin," he answers.
Read 7 tweets
Nov 12
today's dumb thought is not dark-lwj, but more of a grey-lwj: has possessive thoughts and would be totally capable of carrying them out, but keeps getting expertly thwarted at every turn because wwx *knows* his husband.
every time they bump into one of wwx's acquaintances and they start chatting, wwx automatically reaches into his bag and pulls out a brand new bunny plushie that lwj has never seen before.

if wwx knows beforehand that they will be meeting a friend, he brings an actual bunny.
wwx: ah wen ning it is so good to see you again *pats him on the shoulder*

wn: 🥹

lwj: 😡

wwx: *pulls one of their pet rabbits out of his bag and dumps it in lwj's lap*

lwj: ........ WHY DID YOU BRING TOFU??
Read 5 tweets
Sep 29
today's specific thought is college TA omega lwj getting very annoyed during his discussion sessions because alpha wwx keeps revving his motorcycle and doing wheelies in the parking lot nearby and it's insanely distracting for everyone involved.
yes i know this is very much feeding into bad-boy with leather jacket and motorcycle getting with uptight, proper, prim scholar stereotype, and guESS WHAT I'M GONNA KEEP FEEDING IT
wwx is a college dropout and jc's adopted brother. he often takes his motorcycle to the university to pick jc up after his classes.

and lwj has a very strong dislike for him.
Read 33 tweets
Sep 18
today's thought is archaeologist lwj excavating an ancient tomb that has a shit-ton of protection, warning, and containment seals on it. his colleagues say it's cursed, but he disregards them.

until he lifts the sarcophagus lid and finds red-glowing eyes staring back at him.
lwj:

yllz:

lwj: *closes the sarcophagus lid*
it's nowhere near bedtime, but lwj decides to just go to sleep early. he's certain that whatever he saw was a hallucination and he's overtired.

until he goes back the next day, lifts the sarcophagus lid again, and the man inside says, "I'm still here, kid."
Read 40 tweets
Apr 29
so much omegaxian stuff on my timeline is making me think of an au where omegas need to be claimed immediately after they present because otherwise their pheromones will drive nearby alphas to madness.

of course wwx doesn't present until he's in class at the cloud recesses.
usually there are signs in the years leading up to an omega's presentation, so they have time to arrange a marriage or seclude themselves.

an unclaimed omega's pheromones are dangerous. prolonged exposure can induce insanity in alphas.
in the past, when desperate times called for desperate measures, unclaimed omega pheromones have even been used as weapons during wars to neutralize dangerous enemy targets. for this reason, some of the greatest military strategists in history were betas.
Read 36 tweets
Mar 30
today's thought is lowly palace servant wwx flirting with imperial guard lwj one too many times and then suddenly finding himself being granted marriage to lwj by emperor nmj himself.
lxc is the highest-ranked and most beloved consort in nmj's inner palace. lwj complained about wwx to lxc, who then giggled to nmj about it over tea, who—ever willing to please lxc and thinking that it's about time lwj marries—immediately grants lwj and wwx marriage.
so, from wwx's pov, he was just going about his life as a servant; work is hard, but fulfilling. he hears gossip about the most eligible bachelors with the highest connections, and gets curious about lwj.

ah, but lwj is notorious for being cold, stand-offish, and unsmiling.
Read 166 tweets

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