Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist Profile picture
May 8, 2022 29 tweets 6 min read Read on X
so i heard it's #WarprizeJiSeason and it's a good time to share an idea that @/phnelt and i thought up:

noble consort lan is the highest ranking consort in wen xu's harem, given as a warprize to ensure his clan's safety. when the wens attack anyways, lwj ditches to go find yllz.
lwj has been living with wen xu for two years, and it has been nothing but fruitless and humiliating. while wen xu is not as overtly cruel as his younger brother, he likes to make lwj do things for him, such as handfeed him or sit in his lap during meetings with the lan.
he gives lwj the title of 'noble consort'. an empty title, really. lwj has little to no control over wen xu's harem; as it turns out, prisoners of war are far more concerned with helping their own families than cooperating with their sibling-consorts. still, lwj tries.
wen xu likes to point out that perhaps giving lwj such a high title was a mistake. what sort of noble consort can't control a harem? and lwj has so far failed to produce any children. tsk, tsk. perhaps the lan have erred in who to give to wen xu. perhaps they can't be trusted.
lwj has lived with and served him long enough to feel more annoyed than terrified at these threats. it is no secret that wen xu favors lwj the most in his harem and would love for lwj to bear him a son—and no firstborn of wen xu's would ever come from a low-ranked consort.
then, the cloud recesses is attacked.

it is devastating news. cloud recesses, burned. lwj's father, dead. his brother, missing. his uncle, in hiding along with the rest of the clan.

lwj storms to wen xu's quarters and demands to see his lord-husband for an explanation.
wen xu just sighs at him as if he's a child. "Oh, Wangji, you know as well as I do that your family was being uncooperative. It was only a lesson. We didn't even exterminate the main branch. You should be grateful."

lwj sees red. "I see," he grits out. "A lesson."
wen xu makes a tutting sound. "Don't be so angry. If you've conceived from our last time together, then your anger might disturb the child. Then I truly wouldn't forgive you or your family for harming my own."

lwj wants, very much, to stab wen xu with his hairpin.
"Remember, Wangji," wen xu says before dismissing lwj, "you have no one but me. So you'd better behave and get my harem in line if you know what's good for you."

lwj has been raised not to lie. he chooses not to say anything.

when he returns to his room, he starts packing.
as powerful as the wens are, there is still one man that the wens are trying very hard to ignore the existence of. lwj has heard rumors; apparently at the start of the sunshot campaign, wrh tried to seize yiling as easy territory. none of the soldiers he sent there returned.
as the war progressed, wrh continuously tried to send soldiers to capture yiling—and failed, each time. infuriated and humiliated at the morale boost such losses were giving the other clans, wrh sent an army to yiling.

the wens' own dead met them in combat. it was a bloodbath.
since then, wrh has stopped trying to take yiling and has forbidden all talk of yiling. that didn't stop rumors from spreading, and lwj has heard plenty from those seeking to gain favor with wen xu through him.

apparently, the events at yiling are the work of only one man.
"The Yiling Patriarch, he's called," one subordinate had whispered conspiratorially to lwj. "Some say he's young and handsome, other say he's old, with rotted flesh. You're lucky you belong to Wen Xu. It would be a shame to lose a pretty thing like you to the Patriarch."
lwj had turned around and immediately reported the subordinate to wen xu for talking about yiling. the subordinate begged for forgiveness from wen xu and spewed curses at lwj as he's dragged away.

"I hope the Yiling Patriarch takes you, you stone-cold bitch!" he'd screamed.
now, as he's packing up his jewels and expensive clothes, lwj hopes very much that the yllz will take him. there's no one else to run to, and lwj's desire to avenge his home and family outweigh his sense of self-preservation. he cannot stay here, doing nothing. he must go.
he has no friends in the harem, and has no qualms knocking out a few of his fellow consorts on his way out of the palace. he no longer has his sword or his guqin, so he must rely on stealth. he hasn't fought for so long.

he's very careful. it takes hours for him to leave.
he almost doesn't make it out. his appearance is discovered, and wen xu predictably orders a massive search for him. lwj has no choice but to kill a few wen guards who spotted him.

the journey to yiling is hard. nobody wants to go there, it seems. lwj treks most of it on foot.
by the time he stumbles into the burial mounds, he has fully accepted the very likely possibility that he will die and be just another body in a mass grave.

he's too weak, and the resentment surrounding him is too strong. he walks for what feels like forever before collapsing.
meanwhile, wwx is chilling on one of the massive curved spikes overlooking the burial mounds and he sees this poor, poor lost soul walking in circles for hours.

wwx: huh. wonder what he's doing here.

lwj: *collapses*

wwx:

wwx: should i do something 🤔
of course wwx rescues him, because he's not an asshole. he carries lwj into the cave he has always resided in and carefully gives him some water before setting him down on his bed.

lwj wakes with a start, surprised by his new surroundings and even more surprised that he's alive.
"Hello."

lwj flinches at the voice; he wasn't prepared to hear another human. he warily eyes the man by the fire.

the man grins from where he's stirring a pot of soup. "Good nap?"

lwj looks him down and up slowly. loose, black robes that barely conceal his chest? shameless.
but.

lwj would be lying if he said that the exposed chest was… unpleasant to look at.

"Are you the Yiling Patriarch?" he asks.

the man shrugs. "Maybe."

lwj looks him over again. he is a bit young to be a patriarch, but there are few reasons for him to be in burial mounds.
"Would you like me to be?" the man asks.

lwj thinks it through. truth be told, he is not picky on who wipes out the main wen branch family and protects the cloud recesses—so long as it gets done.

"I seek help from the Patriarch," he answers. "My family is in danger."
the man raises an eyebrow. "Which family? Your lord-husband's or your birth family?"

lwj's blood runs ice-cold. "You know who I am."

"Yeah, well," the man gestures to the spilled jewelry from lwj's pack. "Kind of obvious. Also, Wen Xu likes to post your portrait everywhere."
of course. lwj takes a deep, steadying breath. how very clever of wen xu—he has managed to brag about his consort's beauty *and* significantly increase the chances of lwj's return should he ever try to make a run for it.

"My only family," he replies.

"Hm," the man hums.
"I've heard of what the Yiling Patriarch is capable of," lwj continues. "I wish to remove the Wens from power and protect my family."

the man's face scrunches up. "You mean, take the fight to Nightless City and dethrone Wen Ruohan?"

lwj nods. "I know it is a lot to ask."
the man sighs and sits on his heels. "Fight the Wens?" he says more to himself than lwj. "The amount of energy that would take…"

"More innocents die every hour that Wen Ruohan is in power," lwj says. "This is an emergency. I would not be here if it were not. Please, Patriarch."
the yllz looks at lwj. he has grey eyes—sharp, but in the intelligent way; not like how wen xu's gaze seems to mockingly cut bone-deep.

"I will think on it," yllz says.

lwj nods. "You may take anything and everything I've brought with me as compensation," he says.
yllz raises one teasing eyebrow. "Noble Consort Lan should be more careful with his words," he says with an easy smile as he looks lwj over, "lest he forget he brought himself, too."

for the first time in a long time, lwj's ears burn. "I did not misspeak," he says.

• • •

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More from @cerbykerby

Apr 29
so much omegaxian stuff on my timeline is making me think of an au where omegas need to be claimed immediately after they present because otherwise their pheromones will drive nearby alphas to madness.

of course wwx doesn't present until he's in class at the cloud recesses.
usually there are signs in the years leading up to an omega's presentation, so they have time to arrange a marriage or seclude themselves.

an unclaimed omega's pheromones are dangerous. prolonged exposure can induce insanity in alphas.
in the past, when desperate times called for desperate measures, unclaimed omega pheromones have even been used as weapons during wars to neutralize dangerous enemy targets. for this reason, some of the greatest military strategists in history were betas.
Read 36 tweets
Mar 30
today's thought is lowly palace servant wwx flirting with imperial guard lwj one too many times and then suddenly finding himself being granted marriage to lwj by emperor nmj himself.
lxc is the highest-ranked and most beloved consort in nmj's inner palace. lwj complained about wwx to lxc, who then giggled to nmj about it over tea, who—ever willing to please lxc and thinking that it's about time lwj marries—immediately grants lwj and wwx marriage.
so, from wwx's pov, he was just going about his life as a servant; work is hard, but fulfilling. he hears gossip about the most eligible bachelors with the highest connections, and gets curious about lwj.

ah, but lwj is notorious for being cold, stand-offish, and unsmiling.
Read 166 tweets
Jun 5, 2023
today's thought is:

merlwj and sirenwwx clash during a territory dispute and… accidentally end up mating instead.

there have been previous examples of mer/siren hybrids, but they are very rare; the two species are far more likely to wage war than breed.
mer people are omnivorous, social, and closer in appearance to humans—which encourages cooperation with them.

sirens are solitary, carnivorous hunters with powerful, luring songs. they eat humans.

usually, mers and sirens ignore each other. in some cases, they fight.
sirenwwx and merlwj didn't mean to mate; they were fighting, and they just sort of… accidentally ended up tangling their tails together, and their bodies rubbed together a bit too much, and one thing led to another—

anyhow, sirenwwx has babies now.
Read 6 tweets
May 23, 2023
i just think it would be really, really, really entertaining if jzx decided to play matchmaker between yllz-wwx and lwj because he, accurately, deduced that they had feelings for each other.

plus, wwx being safe and cared for would make preggie jyl very happy.
jzx is… predictably not good at matchmaking. but he is trying his best!! for his wife!! the love of his life and the mother of his child!! 😤❤️

jyl is very charmed, but repeatedly tells him that such efforts are unnecessary. she thinks wwx and lwj must figure it out themselves.
jzx, on the other hand, is convinced it's a crisis. his beloved wife's beautiful face gets all tense and sad whenever her shidi is mentioned, so of course jzx must do all he can to ensure that said shidi is taken care of and jyl won't have to stress about anything again!
Read 12 tweets
May 6, 2023
//nsfw //possible noncon maybe

today's mermay thought is: merxian always getting a little nervous whenever octopusji's tentacles get handsy (tentacle-y?) because it is alway so, so easy for one stray tentacle to wander into merxian's slit as the others casually restrain him.
//possibly dead dove

y'all know what would be fucked up.

if octopusji was a sea witch who made a deal with merxian: in exchange for saving his foster family's home, merxian belongs to him—which is super useful, because mermaids are rare sources of powerful magic ingredients.
merxian signed the contract thinking that octopusji will eventually ask for his heart, or maybe even his tongue. those would make for extremely rare and powerful potions.

nope. octopusji is interested in renewable resources, like merxian's hair or scales or songs.
Read 26 tweets
May 5, 2023
today's thought: enemies-with-benefits wangxian are generals during a war. every time they meet, they fight—and end up banging.

but in the silence that follows, wwx watches a sleeping lwj and decides that it would not be so bad if his side loses and he has to die by lwj's blade.
it would not be a bad death, he decides. there are worse ways to die. at the very least, his life would end at the hands of someone he admires deeply—someone he could almost call a lover. lwj would make it quick, like the kisses they exchange before sneaking back to their camps.
it is impossible for the war to end peacefully, and as such, it is impossible for them to have a life together.

a pity. wwx would have liked to know what lwj is like without his battle armor and his sword—whether he would live in a small cottage, or maybe raise children.
Read 9 tweets

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