Thread by @SahilBloom

On the beauty of enough…

How to fight back against the perpetual desire for more:

My son was born one week ago.

I spent the first three decades of my life trying to find the meaning and purpose of all of this—then one day, it all came into view.

On Monday, I was with him in bed and had this profound sensation:

For the first time in my life, I have enough…

I’ve always been driven—I’ve always been in this constant cycle of wanting more.

But I feel…different.

Really, what more could I want?

This feeling prompted me to write—on our perpetual desire for more, and more importantly, on the beauty of enough.

Here are my thoughts:

There’s a beautiful parable that I think about quite often…

A wealthy investment banker goes on vacation to a tropical fishing village.

As he walks along the docks one afternoon, he comes upon a small, run-down fishing boat with several large fish on its deck.

"How long did it take you to catch those fish?" he asks.

The fisherman looks up from his work and smiles at his new visitor.

"Only a little while."

The investment banker is caught off guard. He wants to help.

"Why don't you fish for longer so you can catch more fish?"

The fisherman shrugs and explains to his new friend that he has all he needs.

"Each day, I sleep late, fish a little, and spend time with my children and beautiful wife. In the evening, I go into town, drink wine, play the guitar, and sing and laugh with my friends."

The investment banker wants to help his new friend.

So he lays out a plan...

"First, you spend more time fishing, so you can catch and sell more fish. You buy a bigger boat, then a fleet. You hire a team, move to the city, take your company public and make millions!"

The fisherman looks confused, but smiles.

"And then what?" he asks.

The investment banker laughs at the silly question…

"Well, then you could retire to a quiet town! You could sleep late, fish a little, and spend time with your children and beautiful wife. In the evening, you could go into town, drink wine, play the guitar, and sing and laugh with your friends."

The fisherman smiles & walks away.

This parable illustrates the importance of perspective.

It isn’t about the fisherman or the banker being “right”—it’s about identifying what success and purpose looks like to you, and then building a life that meets that definition.

It’s about the struggle of More vs. Enough.

Hedonic adaptation is the tendency of humans to revert to a happiness baseline after new positive or negative events.

It’s a treadmill—it keeps us running in search of the next thing.

We create this universe where that one next thing will be what makes us sustainably happier.

The reality? We get to that next thing, appreciate it for a moment, and then turn our gaze to the next, next thing.

We buy the 2nd home in Florida—2 weeks later, we’re complaining about maintaining it.

We buy the fancy car—then see someone in the newer model and feel down.

We are like the modern equivalent of Sisyphus—a figure from Greek mythology who is sentenced by Zeus to an eternity of futile struggle.

Sisyphus must roll a boulder up a hill, but as soon as he nears the top, the boulder rolls back down to the bottom, forcing him to start anew.

We all strive for growth, but our outsized focus on progress can result in an inability to feel gratitude for the present.

So how do we step off the treadmill?

By finding our version of enough.

A few strategies that have worked for me:

Develop a Gratitude Practice:

Make it a daily practice to write down your gratitude.

Write down three things you are grateful for.

The practice forces gratitude for the present into the front of our minds and works wonders for your daily contentment and happiness.

Identify Your Happiness Triggers:

Using your gratitude lists, identify what makes you happy.

Not what you think makes you happy or what society says should make you happy—but what truly makes YOU happy.

Whatever it is, find those triggers and prioritize them in your life.

End the Comparisons:

We all have a tendency to compare ourselves to others.

Comparison is like gas on your “more” fire—it tears away the enjoyment of the present and tells you that it’s not enough.

When you notice yourself falling into the trap, reset and focus on yourself.

For most of my life, I would have characterized myself as the investment banker from the parable above.

The quest for more dominated my headspace.

I don’t think I’ll ever be the fisherman—but I do think we can all see a little bit of the fisherman in ourselves.

And I know that letting that inner fisherman shine through from time to time will lead to all of us living happier, more fulfilled lives.

If I can leave you with one lesson, it’s this:

Never let your quest for more distract you from the beauty of enough.

Follow me @SahilBloom for more threads on life and growth.

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