#PCA please hear us. Women serving in the church isn't just about women feeling appreciated and the church body benefitting from our gifts (though it isn't less than that). This week, there is one very important aspect I want you to think about: (cont)
The lack of visible female leadership in the church impacts how all members think about women. If women are weak, easily deceived, bad at theology and logic, and always trying to usurp authority it's no wonder they aren't believed when they report abuse to men in charge. (cont)
It's no wonder that abusive men can convince entire congregations that their victim(s) are crazy, irrational, unbalanced, unreliable, even dangerous. Because that isn't a far cry from how women are spoken about *from the pulpit* in some churches.
The systemic problem of abuse in the #SBC & #PCA and other places isn't just about a few bad apples. It's a fruit of our church culture. It's a fruit of what we believe about women. The words matter, but the actions speak even louder. #churchtoo#pcatoo
P.S. For the record, I believe what the WCF teaches about the ordained offices of the church. You don't have to forsake one dot of the confession to embrace what I've said above. And I know this isn't "all churches". But we are Presbyterian. We need to address this corporately.
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One of the most helpful things my mother (an LPC) ever taught me about abuse dynamics was this: The greater the disparity between public persona and private reality, the greater the dysfunction.
Here's why this understanding is so important...
We all understand that the version of ourselves people see in public is not exactly the same as the version someone might see if they observed us at home. We lose our tempers. We snap back. We fail to keep our responsibilities. And not everyone sees all of our worst qualities...
This is normal. In fact, we assume that people and relationships have more flaws and failures than we can observe in acquaintance or even friendship.
But in a healthy person, marriage, or home, there is limited disparity between perception and reality.
My oldest three attend a ballroom dancing group they love. The leadership is very explicit about appropriate attire. Of course the rules for girls are much more lengthy and detailed than for boys. OK, we knew this going in and we had talks about the difference between ...
Following the rules set by a certain group for *their* events vs an overall understanding of what true modesty looks like (not particularly focused on shoulders and skirt length). Last week, my daughter was called aside and given a talk about the inappropriateness of her ...
Nail polish. She's taken up the hobby of nail art and loves exploring new techniques. She's quite good. This particular design was an array of geometric designs in black, white, and red. So, obviously sinful. Even though there aren't any rules about nail polish and no more ...
Recently I heard a conservative theologian accuse those who disagree with Complementarianism of "elevating experience over reason and the Bible. On the surface, that sounds like a valid complaint. It is possible to promote personal experience over objective truth unreasonably.
But please be aware that this isn't a one-sided danger. There is actually a corresponding ditch we could fall into, and that is the mistake of disregarding experience or treating it as irrelevant.
Reading through the book of Matthew and I've been struck by how much time Jesus spends warning about "wolves" and "false teachers" and "broods of vipers" and "hypocrites". Again and again, he says that we can recognize false teachers and their false doctrines BY THEIR FRUIT.