In recent days we’ve seen another “apology” in NZ from a church leader (Arise) in which abuse/trauma was propagated under their leadership. #megachurch I’ve found the work of @wademullen helpful in understanding the tactics of institutional apologies. wademullen.substack.com/p/what-ive-obs…
In particular, he looks in this article at excuses dressed up as apologies. I’ll include a few excerpts in his words: E.g “It was never our intention to…” … Words like “mistake, blunder, and mishap” are used when the institution is seeking to deny ill-intent.”
“Mistakes were made . . .” In its most basic form, and perhaps most subtle, this excuse removes an actor from the language of the apology. “Mistakes were made” becomes a passive and weak substitute for the more forceful, “I or We . . .”
“This is not in accordance with our values . . .” Apologies often include attempts to dissociate the behavior from the apologizer’s typical conduct.”
“Had we known then what we know now we would have made a different decision”…Often the organization or leader claiming they didn’t have any knowledge of the harm fails to acknowledge whether or not they should have known or had opportunity to know but chose to look the other way
“The apology that asks for sympathy. “We’re hurting too.” I’m amazed at how often the ones who have caused the wrong will displace the pain of the wounded with the pain of the wounder.“
In short, read the whole article!
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